Chapter 36
Castien opened the door to the dining hall and waited for Wren to walk through first. Upon their entrance, conversation ceased. Castien gently placed Wren’s hand back where it was on his upper arm. She gave him a tense smile. He lifted his other hand and grazed her cheek.
“Breathe, dearest. No one will hurt you with me here,” he murmured.
“I can sense their anticipation,” she said in a low voice.
He fought to keep his face neutral. Coming from anyone else, it would simply be an observation, but from Wren it was close to a confession. Did that mean she was growing to trust him? The push and pull they were experiencing was taking a toll on Castien. He wished to do away with all the secrets.
Wren surveyed the room with a false smile. Soon. He would tell her everything soon. After tonight, their lives would settle into a steadier rhythm. He was worried if he rocked their boat too much right now that they’d topple overboard.
“They wish to see us crumble,” Castien said. “Do not give them the satisfaction.”
Wren drew in a deep breath and nodded. He saw the moment she became ready for battle.
Love and pride for her stirred in his chest. As they walked to his table where many of their friends already sat, he let himself imagine a world in which she would be by his side for more moments like these.
Times where he would have to face down an adversary, talk politics, or send troops to war.
Wren had a soft heart but a sharp mind. She would bring balance to his harsher ways and see things from a unique perspective.
She would be more than a companion. Wren would be an empress. An excellent one.
But would she be happy?
He swallowed down the pain the question brought him.
Buried it deep with all his desires. Shoveled willpower on top and packed it down tight.
He would not be selfish. Not with her. When the time came, Wren would have all the power.
She would choose her life, even if it meant saying goodbye.
After all she had endured, she deserved that much.
“Was it your intention to torture everyone, or did you simply lose track of time?” Finn asked as they sat down across from him.
The other occupants of the table seemed to share his sentiment.
Kierana looked as though she was ready to throw a dagger at Castien’s head.
Eindar’s face was neutral, but his eyes were set on Wren, as if he were trying to discern the mystery of the sudden arrangement.
Percilean and Letta seemed shocked but were too reserved to voice anything.
The last chair was meant for Cyprus, as Castien knew the young man was friends with Wren, but he had not come.
Perhaps his attraction to Wren was stronger than Castien thought, and Cyprus was hiding his jealousy.
“A little anticipation never hurt anyone,” Castien replied smoothly.
Heathford appeared and delivered both Castien and Wren’s meals. She thanked the butler quietly, and Castien nodded his appreciation. Heathford had been shocked by the news, as Castien was expected to have an arranged marriage, but he hadn’t spoken on the matter beyond a stilted congratulations.
“I cannot believe this,” Kierana hissed. She kept her voice low and leaned forward. “I knew of your affections for one another, but a betrothal? Why did you not mention anything?” she demanded of Wren.
Wren took a sip of her berry wine before responding.
“It happened rather suddenly,” Wren said in a gentle voice. “I did not mean to keep it from you.”
“One does not become engaged to a future emperor all of the sudden,” Kierana whispered her disbelief.
“I proposed to Wren three days ago. Perhaps that doesn’t suit your idea of a royal betrothal, but it is the truth,” Castien spoke plainly. “I love her and I want to marry her, so I thought it foolish to wait to ask for her hand.”
Kierana’s mouth opened, then snapped shut.
She sat back in her chair with a perturbed expression.
His confession was far more true than anyone at the table—Wren included—knew.
Castien glanced at Wren whose fingers were wrapped tight around her wine goblet.
He found her other hand beneath the table and squeezed it. She gripped his in response.
“I think it’s sweet.” Letta spoke up from the opposite side of Wren. “Congratulations, Your Highness.”
Castien dipped his chin. “Thank you, Letta.” She ducked her head, blushing. Percilean smiled and placed his hand on her upper back.
“I agree. I wish you happiness,” Percilean said, his eyes still on Letta. It looked as though Castien’s charge had found some happiness of his own.
“Well of course I hope the same,” Kierana grumbled. “I am simply confused as to why none of us knew before the letters were sent out.”
“As am I,” Finn said to Kierana’s right.
Castien regretted not telling Finn sooner, but he was worried his cousin would try to talk him out of it. Though Finn was known for going along with reckless plans, he would not approve of this one.
“We’re sorry we didn’t tell everyone. We got swept up in the romance of it all,” Wren lied. “Would you forgive us?”
Her expression was so sincere Castien would have believed her if he didn’t know any better. Kierana’s expression softened.
“Of course, as long as you invite me to the wedding,” Kierana said with a smile.
Wren returned it, but Castien could tell it was fake. There would be no wedding if their plan continued as it was now. While Castien hoped it would change, Wren believed she was lying to her closest friend. He ran his thumb over the back of her hand.
“You are more than welcome,” Castien answered for Wren.
Finn’s gaze was watchful. He was the only one who knew about the journal and would hate that Castien had not told Wren yet.
While Castien was good at lying, he didn’t like doing it to Finn.
No doubt he had suspicions and questions.
Castien would have to answer them soon, but for now, he needed his cousin to be on board.
It would not do well for the Lucent Enclave to look divided.
As if sensing his thoughts, Finn pasted on a grin and reached for his goblet to lift high above the table.
“To the future rulers of the Lucent Enclave!” he cheered. “May you live long and love well.”
Everyone at the table lifted their goblets in agreement. Castien met Finn’s gaze over the cups and gave him a slight nod. He returned it.
Once the table had settled again, Finn spoke once more.
“It seems I am the outcast of our little group,” he mused. “Perhaps I should remedy the situation.” He began looking around as if he were earnestly seeking a companion.
Kierana smacked his chest.
“Don’t be a rogue. You’ll scandalize Letta,” she scolded. “Besides, all of us here love each other. You can’t fall in love by choosing a girl at random.”
Castien watched as Eindar’s cheekbones tinted pink, though his expression was still made of stone. He must not have been expecting Kierana to make such a bold claim in public.
“Isn’t that how every relationship starts? A choice at random?” Finn asked, clearly enjoying poking Kierana’s nerves.
“Certainly not,” Kierana replied with a shake of her head.
“Then how did you go about choosing your brute here?”
Kierana glared at Finn’s word choice, but her gaze softened when she glanced up at Eindar. The corner of his mouth ticked up.
“I saw him training, and I admired his skills.” Her face flushed in a way that made Castien think she might have admired more than that. “Then he spoke, and I realized his character was even stronger than his body. It did not take long to fall in love after that.”
“You saw him by chance,” Finn pointed out. “Who’s to say I won’t do the same tonight?”
“Because you’ve seen every woman in the academy already and haven’t fallen in love yet,” Wren quipped.
Finn gaped, but his eyes were turned up at the edges.
“You paint me in the harshest of lights, darling Wren.”
“I paint you in the light you stand in. If you’d like your portrait to look different, you should move,” she threw back.
Castien smiled at the exchange. Even though Finn was incorrigible, Castien loved him as a brother. It was important to him that Wren got along with Finn.
“After all I’ve done for you, this is my treatment,” Finn teased.
Wren shook her head, a smile on her lips. A real one this time, and Castien could not be jealous over it because he was merely happy it was present at all. He wished the expression would never part from her.
“Your chivalrous actions are precisely why I admonish you, Finnick.” Wren let out a short sigh. “It is not right that you can be kind and yet so roguish.”
“Do not compliment me so.” Finn grinned mischievously. “Your betrothed will fall into a jealous rage. I do not wish to harm him on such a joyous evening.”
In a flash, Kierana pulled out one of her daggers and sliced Finn’s shirt. The fabric near his shoulder split. His mouth dropped.
“The seamstress is going to have my head!” he lamented.
Kierana pointed her dagger at him. “I’ll have it first if you don’t behave.”
Finn huffed and sat back in his chair, crossing his arms. Wren giggled at the sight, and Castien’s heart brimmed with joy at the sound. He smiled down at her, not caring who saw. The rare show of emotion could be excused by their need to appear as a happy couple.
It’s strategic, he told himself as he pulled her chair closer.
We must maintain an image, he thought as he draped an arm over her shoulders.
She laughed again, and he tumbled headfirst into a pool of adoration.
Hopeless. He was pathetic and hopeless but, Tides curse it all, he was happy.
And for this moment, he’d allow himself to feel it all. Just this once.