Chapter 9 #2
Scott asked me to wait a few minutes so he could break the news to Maddie. After he told me, we’ll see, to my question about the dives, he didn’t say too much more on the way here.
“We’ll need to decide when to tell the cops. Get your identity back officially. You’re a legend, man. You’re going to get a lot of attention once everyone knows.”
We agreed it was best for me to lie low and get my bearings before involving the law.
The door opens and closes, and I hold my breath.
“She’s ready,” Scott’s voice breaks as he swipes his eyes with the back of his hand. He squeezes my arm as he passes. “I’ll wait here.” He sits on a plastic chair against the corridor wall. “Take your time.”
I put my hand on the cold doorknob. My feet feel like boulders, my throat as dry as dust. This is it. I’m going to meet my family.
After spending so long waiting for this moment, it feels surreal to be on the brink of learning more about who I am.
Without thinking about it any longer, I open the door and walk in.
A typical hospital room. But standing next to a small bassinet is my little sister. She’s a pretty woman in her late twenties, holding a sleeping baby. I’m stunned by her appearance. She’s the female version of me. Light brown hair and eyes. Freckles pepper her nose.
A small, broken sound rushes from my lungs.
She lays Christopher down without waking him and rushes to me, wrapping her arms around my chest. I feel her tears through my shirt.
“How is this possible?” She’s shaking. Mirroring her, I wrap my arms around her too. I’m stiff and awkward. And I pull away quicker than I probably should.
“Nathan.” Her strangled sob pulls at my heart.
“I’m sorry, I…”
She shakes her head, voice soft. “Scott told me. Should I call you Nathan or Elliot?”
I catch my breath. “I don’t know…”
“Did you wake up this morning expecting this?” she asks with a playful voice, widening her eyes.
“No. But I’ve been looking… for years.”
Pain flashes in her eyes.
“We’d given up hope. The police and the Coast Guard closed the case so fast. They were certain you couldn’t have survived.” She chokes back tears. “I’m so sorry for giving up on you. I should’ve come back the moment you went missing and never stopped looking.”
“Come back? Where were you?”
“Sarasota. That’s where we grew up as kids. Where I stayed until… Mom died.”
“Is there more family?”
“Dad died when we were still young. You were sixteen. It was the four of us growing up.” She takes a breath and tries to lighten the somberness. “There are so many people here who love you.”
My mother and father are dead. Even though I don’t know who I’m missing, the finality saddens me. I’m never going to get the chance to meet them.
Christopher wakes, and his gurgles fill the room. I think of my friends’ babies and the ones at the Miami hospital. I’m good with them. They look at you as if they have all the answers. They’re just not ready to share them yet.
“Do you want to hold him?”
Carefully, I lift him from the bassinet and gaze into his eyes. They’re blue for now, but will probably change to our brown or Scott’s hazel.
“I’ve been searching for something familiar for so long,” I say quietly. “For someone who knows who I am.” I swallow. “This is a lot. I want to remember so badly.”
I don’t want to disappoint her. I do feel something.
But these emotions are strangely detached from my thoughts. It’s uncomfortable.
She guides me to a small couch. I sit, cradling Christopher.
“Do you remember anything?” she asks. “Anyone?”
“No.” I press my lips together tightly. “Just dreams. I have the same one nearly every night. There’s a woman with blonde hair and a beautiful smile. We’re… together.”
“You’re dreaming of Crystal.”
Could that be her name? “Crystal?”
“She’s your wife and…” She squeezes my shoulder and hesitates. “I don’t want to overwhelm you. Is this too much?”
“No.”
“You and Crystal have a little girl. Natalie.”
My wife. My little girl. The girl at the beach. Half expecting to wake up, I focus on something real. Something tangible. I touch the shell on my neck.
“Hey,” she whispers.
I look up.
“Take a breath. It’s okay to sit and process this,” she says. Then whistles and curls her lips. “I know I need to.” She lets out a little snort.
I like how she makes cute faces and sounds to dismiss her anxiety. And it’s working on me too, at least a little bit. The beating of my heart has finally slowed down.
“Can you tell me about them?” I ask.
She shakes her head excitedly, grabs her phone and pulls up a photo of the beach.
Natalie is holding a shovel and a pail in her hands, and Crystal’s standing behind her with her arms wrapped around her.
Minutes go by as she tells me about my wife.
She’s a top marine biologist and works for the city.
She was recently promoted. A big job, working for the mayor and meeting with officials from the Coast Guard and NOAA.
Natalie is in the first grade and is already a gifted student.
Maddie claims she’s just like her, but she admits that Crystal insists Natalie’s just like me.
With every new nugget of information, I feel like something has been added to my soul.
Part of me wants to talk all night, but I know Scott’s waiting for me and there’s someone else I need to meet.
“I think it’s time for me to go.” I clear my throat and return Christopher to Maddie.
“All right. Scott can take you to see Crystal next.” She smiles softly. “We can talk more when my little guy and I get out of here. Or whenever you’re ready. I love you.”
“I love you too,” I say the words because they’re expected, and my mind tells me they must be true. But I want so badly to feel that they are true.
At the door, I pause.
Goodbye, Elliot. I don’t need you anymore.
“Nathan,” I say. “Please call me Nathan.”
“I love you, Nathan.”
Scott’s ending a call when he notices me walk into the hall. “You okay?”
“Can I get a ride to the docks to pick up my car?”
“Sure. And we’ll get your things. You can follow me back to the inn. I’ve got to talk to Crystal about something, too. It’s a long story—there’s a lot of shit going on.”
“I can’t just walk up to her and say hello.”
He nods. “I’ll talk to her first. Wait in your car until I come to get you. I’ll make sure she’s ready.”
“I’m not sure that I’m ready.”
When we reach the hospital parking lot, my nerves have gotten so bad that I have to sit down on the pavement.
Charging forward, it takes Scott a moment to notice I’m not with him.
“Hey…” He stops and turns back. “Breathe. She’s a good woman, and she loves you.”
I squeeze my eyes shut.
“There’s nothing to prove.” He reaches out his hand and pulls me up. “Whatever you need. We’re all here for you. No pressure.”
“My little girl. Natalie. Will she be there too?”
“No, not right now. She’s at Crystal’s house. The two of you can decide what’s best.”
I try to listen to Scott, but I’m not the confident man in the brochure.
“If you’re not sure what to say, just let her know. She’ll take it from there.”
When we get to the truck, he turns.
“You ready to do this?” he asks.
“I am.”