Chapter 23
The Widow
Dashing through the snow
In a one-horse open sleigh
Over the hills we go
Laughing all the way
Ha, ha, ha…
We pass the carolers—Natalie waving and cheering them on—and turn right, walking through the gates of Lazy Shores Park.
Determined to get everyone out of the house this morning, Maddie and I corralled the kids and dogs, loaded the stroller and a bag, and headed out.
We’ve been admiring all the decorations along our walk.
Multicolored string lights wrap around the palm trunks, turning them into living candy canes.
Hanging from the light posts are holiday wreaths in various patterns, each featuring a popular Christmas character.
The mild South Florida December is still warm enough for sundresses and shorts.
We walk along the crushed shell path toward a small cluster of live oaks planted beside a wooden bench. Their wide branches form a circle of shade over us.
Natalie and the dogs jog nearby, weaving in and out of the brighter patches of grass, occasionally disappearing behind the low hedges that edge the path before reemerging again.
Restrooms are close by, tucked behind a large cluster of sea grape trees.
The park has plenty of shade and quiet corners.
A great place for families on a sunny day.
Maddie settles in to get Christopher ready for his feeding, carefully lifting him from his stroller, and I sit beside her, watching Natalie.
The air smells green, but there are dark undercurrents.
Our little town is threatened by the heating waters, and an unknown danger is drifting closer to those I love.
As grateful as I am for what I have, the little girl in me just wishes her family could sit here and enjoy the holidays without worry.
Nathan is training in his heat-resistant diving suit today.
His space suit. I laugh at the memory of last night.
I feel like we’re back to us, who we were.
Almost. He still doesn’t have any recall.
But I’m loading him up with so many memories—from the past and new ones—that soon it won’t matter.
What matters is our little girl and us. Natalie giggles as Ding jumps on her in the grass.
Reminding myself that Nathan’s dive today is only training, I try to keep my thoughts from spiraling and focus on the fun we’re having right now.
“He’ll be fine,” Maddie says.
“Hmm?”
“You don’t have to say anything. The worry is etched on your face.”
“That obvious?”
“Yes. But it’s understandable. You just got him home, and he’s right back to his cave-diving bravado before you’ve even been able to reconnect as spouses.”
“Um, well, we’ve been doing quite a bit of reconnecting…” I try not to laugh when Maddie scrunches her face. She can’t help it. It is her brother we’re talking about. “Is Hannah still joining us today?”
“No, she bailed. She’s been dodging everything lately. I think the picnic the other day was the first time we’ve hung out in weeks.”
“She’s probably really busy at the gift shop.”
Maddie shakes her head. “Oh no. That girl is up to something. It’s got to be a man.”
“Doesn’t she tell you everything?”
“She does. And since she’s not, he must be a potential keeper. Of course, she’s not fooling anyone—we all know who he is.”
We do. Aside from Wes being alive and well, it’s the worst-kept secret on the island.
“You’d think they’d realize that Scott and I are going to talk.”
Her eyes widen. “And neither one of them is any good at sneaking around.”
“Especially when they’re in the same room,” I add.
“Did you see them at the picnic?”
I nod and give her a naughty smile. “I saw them behind the lighthouse.”
We howl with laughter. A young couple walking by quickly glances over at us, then picks up speed like we’re contagious.
Good for Hannah, she’s the sweetest… and so is Jamie.
“Aunt Maddie, can I play catch with Ding and Denver?”
“Did you bring their ball?”
“It’s right here.” She proudly lifts the pink jingle ball toy.
“You guys ready to play?” Maddie asks the dogs. They bark and wag their tails playfully.
Maddie hands me Christopher and takes Natalie a few yards away, where the grass is unobstructed. She shows her how to toss the ball and play fetch with the dogs. After a quick lesson, Natalie starts to treat it seriously.
Run and toss. Run and toss. The dogs are going to get a good workout.
Denver and Ding circle around her each time she raises her arms, eagerly jumping up and down. They love it. It’s good for all of them to get the exercise and the fresh air.
At two weeks old, Christopher is already a curious and alert baby.
Gently lowering him onto the blanket I’d spread over the grass earlier, I tuck his stuffie worm next to him and watch.
He needs his exercise too. Right away, he tries to roll onto his side and reach the stuffie.
With a tiny grunt of effort, he manages a partial turn, lifting his head for a second or two before wobbling back down.
His eyes dart everywhere, not wanting to miss a thing.
After his third attempt, he grows frustrated and cries. I pick him up.
Natalie always did the same thing. I miss it.
The weight of Natalie as a baby in my arms. Should I let myself even think of that right now?
To imagine what it may be like to have another.
It’s what I want. Brothers and sisters for Natalie.
Lots of them. But it seems selfish to dream about that right now.
“Ah, there you go.” I slowly bounce him up and down, careful to secure his neck. He crunches his face and cries harder. “Auntie Crystal’s not doing a good job, is she? Is she?” I coo as I gently cradle him in my arms and rock. “She’s out of practice, you see.”
Listening to my voice, he quiets, but his face makes it clear he wants his momma. He’s hungry.
When Maddie returns, she discreetly positions Christopher at her breast for his feeding. I pick up the blanket and inspect it to be sure no bugs have crawled onto it before putting it away.
That feeling again. Like a cold, still wind. I glance toward Natalie. Denver’s circling her, waiting for the throw.
“Nathan needs to get a restraining order. What those reporters are doing is harassment. Maybe even stalking.”
“They haven’t shown up at the house. Not yet. They know exactly what they’re doing and how far they can go before crossing the line legally. They don’t care whether it’s ethical.”
“They’re scumbags. Have you heard anything else from that weirdo Natalie talked to, Walter?”
“Not yet.”
“Natalie’s safe with us. I just wish she didn’t have to be separated from her mom and dad or miss school.”
I think about what he told Natalie about the Big, Mean Man. A jolt of fear shoots up my spine. How much danger could we actually be in?
I glance up to check on Natalie. I breathe out. She’s close by and still with the dogs. They won’t let anything get near her.
“Don’t go any farther than that, Natalie. K, sweetie?” I call out.
She nods and smiles at me, then turns back to the dogs.
“What about the ocean impacts?” Maddie asks.
“It’s bad. There have been more reports of toxin exposure and… Mrs. Clara died last night.”
“Oh no. From the rash?”
“Well, she was already really weak from the flu, and her body just couldn’t fight the toxins she picked up from the water. We may have closed the beaches too late. And not everyone is even listening to the restrictions.”
“Do you think it will spread further than our waters?”
It might. Who knows what the heck this is?
“This is only going to get worse,” I say.
Maddie reaches out and holds my hand. “They’ll figure it out. They’re smart and determined. I wish I could get into those caves and help.” She looks down at Christopher. “But this little guy needs me.”
I rub her back. “He’s the most important job you’ll ever have.”
Natalie runs to us, puts the ball back, and grabs a huge plastic bone. “Denver wants the bone,” she says, running off, shouting for Denver.
“I’ve been doing some research of my own,” I say.
“Into the heating rocks?”
“No, into Finn.” She looks at me, curious.
“He’s hiding something.”
“I’m as furious as you are. But do you think he’s up to something really nefarious?”
I think of Finn’s confession of the death he caused by pushing too far and how he nearly got Nathan and Margaret killed. But he seems to want to do something—to fix this problem. I want to believe he’ll do what’s right when it comes down to it.
“What I know is he’s got an agenda, and he’s not transparent until pushed. Walter told Natalie not to trust the scientists.”
“That explains everything,” she says as she slaps her knee. “Walter said so.” She shoots me an apologetic glance. “Sorry. Okay. What have you found?”
“Finn took a six-month leave of absence about four years ago. Highly unusual for a man in his position.”
I’d found an article about Alfred’s death. It matched what Finn had described, but the timeline didn’t match his leave of absence. Alfred died over eight years ago, but from our chat it seemed they were close friends. Or more. There’s nothing public about his personal life.
“There’s no information I can find that explains why he took the time off. Only that he went to Alaska. When he came back, he was promoted.”
“… that does make you wonder what he was up to. But Crystal, there could be a million…”
I glance up and don’t immediately see Natalie. I look toward the bathrooms. Did she go there? I scan the ground in all directions.
Maddie’s still talking, but I can’t register Maddie’s words as my breath is squeezed out of my lungs when I realize I can’t find Natalie anywhere.
I jolt up.
“Crystal?”
Denver’s growl rings out loud and is immediately followed by a series of frantic barks of alarm. Ding’s running at full speed toward us from the left. Why is he so far away?
Oh God.
Denver’s still nowhere in sight. Neither is Natalie.
“Natalie! Natalie!” I scream. Racing along the path of shrubs and fences to where I can still hear Denver’s barks. “Help me! Please help me!” I yell so loud my throat tears.
As I run, I hear little Christopher’s cries and Maddie’s terrified voice behind me. “We need help. My niece is gone…”
When I pass Ding, he circles back around and runs with me. Park patrons look on with concern as we rush by, a few of them joining us to help. I keep yelling at the top of my lungs for help as I run as fast as my legs will go. In the distance, the sound of a police alarm grows louder.
Finally, I spot Denver chasing a sleek silver Land Rover.
Seconds later, a police officer runs toward me, and I point to the vehicle as it speeds off out of sight.
He calls into his radio, and I see other lights flash down the road.
Stopping to catch my breath, which is coming out in harsh rasps, I begin to sob and ask them to tell me where she is. The officer holds my shoulders.
“Ma’am, stop. Take a breath. We’ve got someone tailing the Rover.”
Maddie’s holding Christopher and walking at a quick pace toward me, her face crumpled in worry. “Natalie?”
I shake my head and collapse.