Chapter 31
The Widow
The coast is deceptively beautiful. Waves crash along the shoreline, and at high tide the ocean keeps its secrets—for now. Later this morning, when the waters recede, low tide will reveal the sickness and death hiding beneath.
Nathan and I aren’t supposed to be here on the beach, but there’s no one else around. No one to tell us not to. It’s still dark, though the lights from nearby houses, including ours, are enough to see the sand and water.
As I gaze outward across the sea, I let myself cry.
I know some of the coral is dead now. And most of the reef at the zones closest to Carter’s Drop and Coral Fang—already sickly white—will soon follow.
If water temperatures in those areas remain the same, it will happen before Christmas.
My boss has gotten approval to begin salvage triage operations, focusing on genetically distinct lines.
We’ll begin ex situ conservation immediately.
A crushing wall of sadness falls onto my heart. In my teenage years, I wandered lost and lonely, finding solace in the ethereal promise of the sea. It’s unimaginable to me that the ocean itself may not be eternal, that, like all of us, it will die one day.
But here we are, facing just that.
In my gut, I know this will expand beyond our shores.
I glance at Nathan. He’s spread out the beach blanket and is working on arranging our picnic.
“This may not be here for Natalie’s children,” I whisper sadly.
Nathan stops what he’s doing and moves next to me, pulling me onto his lap and folding his arms around me, closing me in a protective embrace.
He shakes his head, adamant. “I don’t believe that.
” He rests his chin on my shoulder and whispers into my ear.
“Nature is mysterious and resilient. If we don’t get in its way, it’ll overcome. ”
“I once told you that everything has a purpose, that nothing’s accidental or random.
I’m not sure I believe that anymore.” Although I’ve felt this way for a while, saying it out loud leaves me feeling lost, as though the core of my identity has been an illusion.
When Nathan returned, I allowed myself to hope that wasn’t true.
But maybe it is, and maybe he’ll be gone soon, too.
“Don’t. Please don’t.” He lifts my chin and looks into my eyes. “You were right. We may not know why this is happening. And it seems grim right now… but it won’t stay that way.” He squeezes me tighter. “You and Natalie make this world worth fighting for. We’ll figure this out.”
I want to believe him. But there are so many unanswered questions, and seemingly little to no time left to figure this out. I wish I had Nathan’s faith.
I move to face him. “Nathan, please come home to us tomorrow.”
“I promise.”
“Can you… can you promise that?” Silently, he bites down on his lip.
“I believe you,” I tell him.
He takes a sharp inhale. “Did you believe me that day?”
“Yes. I did.”
He clutches my hand and pulls it to his chest, over his heart.
“I promise to do my best. There’s nothing in this world that means as much to me as you and Natalie.
That’s why I’m doing it—for us and for what we love.
” He motions to the shoreline. “I promise I won’t take unnecessary risks this time. ”
“Make me believe it, Nathan.”
“Every night, I dreamed of you, Crystal. And then I found you. Never lose hope.” His hands slip beneath the straps of my sundress, easing them down as he breathes me in. He brushes his lips, warm and reverent, across my collarbone. His mouth opens, teasing me with little wisps of his tongue.
He leans forward, pushing me back onto the blanket. I feel the sand crunch beneath it and the chill of the wind. He cradles me in his arms and kisses me. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I give in to him. All my trust, all my love.
He looks deep into my eyes.
A cool, gentle breeze stirs his golden-brown hair, and his eyelids flutter from the sensation. His bright eyes darken.
“I love the way you look at me,” he murmurs.
He shifts his weight, diving into me, surprising me with his assertiveness.
Lightly brushing his lips across my skin, he pauses at my navel and blows butterfly kisses that make me shiver.
I gasp, feeling a rush of warmth in my core.
Then, I curl my fingers through his hair and lead him down further.
“Greedy little thing.”
I smile.
After we love each other as if we’ll never get another chance, we finish our picnic.
Spreading some cheese and jam on a cracker, I offer it to him. He takes it in one bite.
“It’s not overrated,” I say.
“What?”
“Sex on the beach.”
He laughs. “Who told you it was overrated?”
“You.”
“Well, obviously I lied.” He leans in for another kiss and another cracker.
“I love your surprises.” He picks up the bottle of jam and squints his eyes, unable to read the label in the dark.
“Fig.” I take the bottle and fix him another. “Fig jam and brie are the best.”
“Fancy.”
We laugh, and I fix us more crackers and something to drink. Champagne for me, water for him. “I’m planning something special for you tomorrow when you come home. A memory,” I say.
His eyes light up. “Another surprise?”
“Kind of, but I’m going to tell you what it is. I’m recreating our honeymoon.”
I take the photo out of my purse and hand it to him.
A local took the picture right after we arrived in Belize.
We’re standing in front of a small garden cabana, covered by a thatched roof and surrounded by lush vegetation.
We’re wearing matching linen shorts. I’m in a black tank, and he’s in a white button-down. We’re both smiling from ear to ear.
He takes the photo and laughs. “I didn’t know you had so many teeth.” He kisses me. “I can’t wait.” Then he lies back down on the blanket, and I join him, taking the obligatory selfie with us lying on the sand.
We stare at the sky, waiting for the sun to rise.
His eyes are restless.
“What are you thinking?” I ask.
“When are you going to show me the picture of the day I asked you to marry me?” he whispers.
He’s asked about that a few times. “Soon. That one’s very special. But it’s going to take more planning for me to tell it right.” I rest my head on his heart. “Come home to me, Nathan.”
He wraps his arms around me tightly as the first rays of the sun fill the sky.