Chapter Twelve
MOLLIE
I wake with a start when the first signs of light creep in through my window. The birds singing their morning songs sound so loudly in my ringing ears. I try to block them out, my eyes searching the room for Travis.
He’s not here.
Looking at my phone, it’s coming up to four in the morning. I have ten minutes until my alarm goes off. Slumping back down to my pillow, I let out a sigh, staring at the ceiling.
Mick and Janette came back not long after Travis first left. I could hear Janette crying from my room. The shattered sound was awful. I peeked my head out to see her, but I really didn’t know what to say. What could I say?
Blackjack dying was my fault. I mean, I’m not an idiot, I know it wasn’t my fault the foal got stuck during delivery, but it was my fault that I didn’t help or listen to Mick’s instructions quick enough. They told me I did all that I could, but I know that had I not frozen and felt every ounce of pain Blackjack was in, I would have listened better, and Mick wouldn’t have needed to calm me down from my frantic state.
I wasted his time when he should have been focusing on her. It was a shock to my system, I know that. I’ve simply never reacted like that before when under stress. I’ve never allowed myself to be so overcome in a situation that I simply can’t hear when people are talking to me. It scared me. For the first time in my life I felt scared. Weak.
The only silver lining is the foal made it. He stood over his mother’s body, and the sight near on killed me. Blackjack was Mick’s pride and joy. And now she’s gone. How I’ll look him in the eye at breakfast I don’t know. He won’t blame me, and somehow that makes it so much worse.
My phone buzzes on the bedside table, snapping me from my state. I grab it, switch off the alarm and stare at the screen. There’s another message from my dad. Tapping it to my lip, I choose to ignore it, no longer bothered by what he has left to say. He made it perfectly clear he thinks I’ll follow him home like his good little girl come Saturday. But I won’t. Last night only served to solidify my desire to stay. I had no intention of finding the chaos Travis and I share. But it’s mine, and it felt fucking good to feel needed the same way that I needed him.
Getting out of bed, I dress and head down to breakfast, a slight limp in my step. My brain feels fried after getting my period this morning. Like a tonne of bricks just hit me, I can’t even find the energy to change my clothes from yesterday. It’s disgusting, but I can’t see the point in washing them. Not today. Today, I plan on spending my time with the foal and making sure I do double the work. I want to make it up to Mick and Janette. It’s the only way I know how.
Pulling the hair tie off my wrist, I scrape my hair into a high ponytail as I walk into the kitchen. And freeze. My hands pausing in my hair, my feet stuck in the proverbial mud. Shit.
“Morning.”
Janette spins around from the stove, seeing me motionless. There’s bacon under the grill, eggs frying in the pan. Beans. Toast. The full works. “Good morning, honey,” she coos, and I feel my eyes widen further. What the fuck is going on here?
“Uh, morning,” I stammer, quickly dropping my hands, my teeth sinking into my lip. I stare at Travis, but immediately look away when I feel Janette looking suspiciously between us.
She grabs a tea towel, slowly wiping her hands. “Something wrong?” she asks softly.
I look at Travis again, and he scowls at me, throwing me off balance. I thought we were good. And I thought he’d left?
Oh shit. Does Janette know he slept in my room? Can she tell we slept together? Fucking hell. My heart is beating wildly, by my brain racing ten to the dozen.
“No.” I shake my head, pulling myself together. “Are you okay?” I fire at her to deflect her away from me, quickly realising I do actually care how she is. I take a step closer to her, giving her my full attention.
“Me? I’m fine,” she says, opening her arms to me.
I walk into her hold, embracing her, feeling Travis’ eyes on us. “Are you sure?”
She pulls back, looking at me. “I’m fine. I promise.”
“But last night—”
“—last night?” She cuts me off, her eyes flitting to the man sat at the table. “Last night, my prayers were answered.”
Travis stands, his chair scraping across the floor.
My eyes are still firmly locked on Janette, my back to him.
Feeling his presence loom closer, I go to turn, but Travis places his mug on the side, effectively trapping me. He leans in to kiss Janette’s cheek, his front brushing against my arm, his big palm splaying at the small of my back. I can’t breathe. Can’t even move a muscle for fear of Janette seeing right through me. His touch is electric. Tiny volts shoot up my spine forcing my skin to stand on end. I give a nervous smile when he steps back, seeing me flustered.
He smirks, and I know him well enough now to know he did that on purpose. Bastard.
“Will you be back tonight?” Janette asks him.
I can’t help the way my eyes go to him, wondering the same. He might have slept in my bed last night, but we have so much to talk about.
Grabbing his keys from the table, he slides them and his phone into his pocket. “Maybe.” He looks at me.
Maybe?
“Got a busy few days with the club and the business.” He’s talking to Janette but letting me know I won’t see him. Did I miss something?
My shoulders slump, and his eyes narrow slightly, seeing my displeasure.
“The business?” Janette sings, his words obviously making her day.
“Yeah,” he says with a laugh when he’s hugged all of a sudden. His eyes lock on mine as his arm wraps around his aunt. I can tell he’s made her morning just by being here. Which beggars the question, why hasn’t he been here? “You gonna let me get to it?”
“Sorry.” Janette laughs, stepping back, her hands brushing her sides.
“I’ll call you later.”
In silence, both Janette and I watch him slip on his boots and walk out the door. Then she turns, and we exchange a look. Fuck . She knows. I quickly turn, moving slowly to the pot to pour myself some tea.
“I guess I should be thanking you, honey.”
“Pardon?” I say nonchalant, but feeling so fucking confused. I add some milk and one sugar, slowly stirring the spoon. When I turn, Janette is positively glowing.
“I’ve not seen him like this before.”
My mug pauses against my lips. I blow into the tea, feigning that I’m cooling it down, when in fact, the only thing that needs to cool down is me. “Like what?” I ask. I take a sip from my mug.
Her head tilts. Is that amusement in her eyes? “I’ll say this.” She steps closer to me, and my body tightens. “Keep doing whatever you’re doing. I like seeing him happy.”
Jesus. The weight of her happiness lands heavy on my shoulders, but I can’t deny seeing her face light up beats seeing her so upset last night. I’ll take seeing her happiness over her sadness any day.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say lightly. And so obviously knowing. But he seemed quick to leave. Maybe it’s nothing. Maybe he really is just busy?
Her eyes lift.
I lift mine right back at her.
My phone vibrating from my back pocket has me breaking our eye contact. I look down at the screen, frowning, but also smiling at his audacity.
Biker boy: Come outside
He put his number in my phone? I smile when I look up. Janette’s still standing there. Still looking at me. I need to think. “What needs doing first this morning?” I ask. I ignore the dull ache in my foot from my accident as I place my phone in the back pocket of my jeans.
“Oh,” she walks to the stove, turning various knobs on and off, reaching for a plate and a serving spoon. “Mick’s sorting things with the vet, but the foal and the new mare will need seeing to. You happy to do that?”
I smile. “More than happy.”
“You’ll eat first,” she tells me .
“I’m not hungry,” I lie, looking at the food as she plates me up. My stomach rumbles, and she gives me another one of those looks. She knows I’m lying. “I’ll check on the foal, then I’ll be back up for food. Okay?”
She hums, not looking at me.
I take my tea with me as I slide my feet into my boots, then open the door and make my way to him outside, sat on his bike. Apprehension lingers. I stop in front of him. “Biker boy,” I say.
“Morning, baby.” He checks his phone not giving me his full attention, then once he’s replied to whoever it is, he pockets his phone away.
I sip my tea, waiting. “You okay?” I eventually ask because he doesn’t speak.
Instead he sighs, and I get the feeling he wants to undo the past twelve hours. I can see it in how he bows his head, can feel it in the way he doesn’t give me proper eye contact. “You’re not coming back later, are you?”
He lifts his chin. “I think it’s best I get club shit out the way, then whatever this is between us,” he waves his hand rather dismissively, “we can focus on after.”
“Whatever this is?” I huff, feeling myself getting more pissed off. It’s like something shifted overnight and I completely missed it. I asked him to take me on a date once he came to bed. Shit, did that scare him? It must have. He can’t even fucking look at me.
Flinching at my stupidity, I give a little laugh, running a hand down one side of my face. “So all that, you see me , and, you don’t want to take another step without me? crap, they were just words to make me feel better?”
He curses under his breath. “That’s all fucking true. I don’t want to take another step without you. But I have stuff to do, people who in the next few days will be counting on me. You…” he doesn’t finish his sentence.
“I what? Came into your life at the wrong time? Upset you when I asked you to leave?”
He frowns. That did upset him. “I don’t have time for this, Mollie. I need to go.”
“Then go.” I turn, waving a dismissive hand over my head. Fuck him. He can’t pick me and let me go at the drop of a hat.
After a few moments, the engine roars behind me and the ground vibrates under my soles. I continue back to the house, but yelp when his bike cuts me off, my feet jumping back so as not to get run over. My mug hits the ground, smashing to pieces. “Twat!” I yell in frustration.
Before I can reprimand him for scaring me, he takes a breath, leaning back whilst holding the bike steady, one foot flat to the floor. “Don’t be a fucking brat.”
I laugh. The nerve of this man. “Leave me alone.” I move to step around his bike.
“Oh no, Baby Doll.” He edges the bike forward, blocking my path. “I told you, if I make you mine, then that’s it for you. I meant it.”
“You want me again, you don’t want me,” I say mockingly, flailing my arms. “Make up your fucking mind—"
“That date you wanted. Sunday. You’re mine. I’m yours.”
He catches me off guard. I quip him a look, silently grateful that he didn’t say Saturday. The last thing I want to do is have to explain that I have to see my dad and Henry all on the same day. I’m not sure how I’ll get through it.
Ask him to come with you. No. He doesn’t need me the way I think I need him.
I need him?
He avoids my eyes as he pulls away, and without another word, I’m left standing alone, wondering when everything became more difficult.