Chapter Twenty-Two
MOLLIE
T here was a thirst for violence in the round pits of Rocco’s eyes when we got here. He didn’t speak as Travis and I walked into the clubhouse. It was my mistake to show up at Matthew’s house, I know that. But again, it was also the right move to make. I know it, and judging by the look on their faces, they know it too. It’s just a much harder pill for outlaws to swallow.
They wouldn’t have killed Matthew, but I saved him. Saved him from becoming mulch under Travis’ and, more so, Dean’s hands. The pair looked violent, and when I saw the look on Travis’ face when he realised I’d followed him, I knew I was in trouble. He doesn’t scare me. In fact, I’m not sure any of them do any more. But Rocco? He’s a different matter.
He’s deadly. Got a constant look of desire to bring retribution for something he’s missing. I don’t know what that is, but I see the torment in his eyes whenever I’m here. At first, he was wary. Didn’t like me pulling some of Travis’ attention away from the club. Then he realised that actually I am a pretty fun person to be around. That and, once he heard about Tim signing off on the land they needed, he dialled down the outlaw.
Sure, the atmosphere at the clubhouse is so far away from the scene I’m used to. But the overwhelming sense of love and pride and brotherhood is unlike anything I’ve ever been a part of.
Rocco seems to have taken a liking to me, even lets me pour him his favourite drink when I occasionally help out here. It isn’t much, and I certainly don’t get many words out of him. But it’s kind of sweet. He seems to like being in my presence. Which is why, if he’s going to summon me upstairs, I’m pretty confident I can talk my way out of it .
Feeling the unmistakeable signs of my period, I make my way to the ladies’. I’m sweating. My jeans feel tight and disgustingly wet, sticking to my heated skin with every step I take. I’m uncomfortable, and after the events of tonight, my chest feels ridiculously heavy. I cough, knowing I should probably see a doctor about it.
Using the loo, I’m then forced to stuff tissues in my knickers. This place has women working here, but nothing for them as far as sanitary products go. I shouldn’t be surprised given all the burly men who congregate here, but, I can do something about that. If I’m going to be hanging around here, it’s the least I can do.
Making my way back to the main room, I try my hardest to ignore the unpleasant feeling between my legs, and in true to me style, I step behind the bar. “Need a hand?” I offer Tanya. Most of the guys are upstairs, so I know there won’t be much to do. But the waiting around is starting to irritate me. Of course, I could drive home, but I’ve already pushed my luck tonight. I don’t want to anger the beast further.
“Sure. Grab the empties. Then you can join me for a drink.”
Checking my phone, it’s already ten. I have eight hours until my shift starts. “Sounds good to me.” I know I’ll feel it in the morning, but Tanya looks like she could use the company. Nights like these, you never know how late they’ll be up there. That much I have learned.
Clearing the tables, I grab the bottle of vodka Tanya’s placed on the bar top for me and one glass. I head to the nearest table and take a seat.
“You know what’s going on up there?” Tayna asks, pulling out her own chair.
I have some idea. “No.” I smile, opening the bottle and pouring myself a drink.
“You’re lying.”
My head springs up. “Pardon?” I screw the lid back on the bottle having poured myself a shot.
Tanya laughs. Pulling her steaming mug of coffee to her lips, she blows the surface before she takes a sip. “You bite your lip when you’re lying.”
“Do I?” I wasn’t aware I did.
Tayna nods, placing her mug back on the table. “Yep. And whenever Travis is nearby.”
That I do know about. Feeling my cheeks blush, I take a sip of my vodka .
Tayna runs her hands through her hair, pulling the long curls into a messy bun on top of her head. She is beautiful. It makes it easy to see why she and Travis used to sleep together. How out of all the girls here, he would have chosen her to find comfort in. I don’t like imagining them together, it makes my insides twitchy thinking of him with anyone else to be honest. But I’m grateful for the protruding mass now on her front making her glow so elegantly. Without her whirlwind marriage and pregnancy to Chopper, we probably wouldn’t be sitting here now. As friends. She and Chopper are inseparable most of the time. He’s much older than her, but her happiness is undeniable.
“Anyway, how are you feeling?”
She leans back, scratches her belly then picks up her mug. “Full.”
I laugh. “How’s Chopper?”
Blowing out her cheeks, Tanya then takes a sip of her coffee. There’s a light shake to her head. “I think he’s glad to be getting out soon. Three kids already and one on the way. He’s not used to nappies and night feeds. It’s going to be a shock for him.”
“Does he see his kids much?” I ask, knowing I’ve never heard or seen them in the time I’ve been here.
She shakes her head again with a wry smile. “Their mother doesn’t let them. Fortunately, they’re older so can make their own decisions for the most part, but it’s easier to keep the peace. You know?”
My lips pinch and I nod with a heavy heart. I lift my glass and down the clear, harsh liquid. “Still, must be hard for him.”
Her blue eyes dance between mine. “It is what it is.”
I give my shoulders a little lift. “Fair enough.”
Tanya leans forward, crossing her arms on the table. “Come on then. Tell me about you and Travis.” Her inquisitive blues draw me in.
“How do you mean?” I ask sceptically.
“Oh, don’t give me that. I know you two are fucking left, right and bloody centre.” I throw her a look at her acknowledgment of Travis’ bedroom habits. “Sorry,” she then flusters. “But come on, spill. What’s next for you two?”
I shrug, perhaps a little defensively. “I don’t know.”
Tanya pouts her displeasure. “Really? Then, babe, you’ve got to talk to him. See where things are headed for you. Seriously. Nab him up now before someone else tries their luck.”
“Like Sophie?” I quip.
Tanya rolls her eyes. “She hasn’t shown her face since they… you know.”
I nod. “Yeah, I know.”
“She was besotted with him. But after he took her,” she holds out her hand, gesturing to me in an awkward manner, “well, I’m guessing it wasn’t what she thought it would be.”
“You haven’t heard from her?” Fuck, what if she’s not okay?
Tanya bows her head, scratching her forehead like she’s hiding from me. “We’ve text and spoke on the phone. She’s fine.” Then her head springs up and her eyes widen. She smiles broadly. “Oh, I see what you’re doing.”
“Damn it,” I laugh. I really was trying to steer her away from the topic of mine and Travis’ future.
We haven’t had a proper conversation yet. I mean, sure we’ve lived together for five months now, but we’ve only just moved into our own space. That seems pretty huge to me. “I’m twenty-two. There’s no rush.”
Her eyebrows hit her hairline.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
Grabbing the bottle of Vodka, I twist off the cap, pouring myself another shot with some gusto. I wait for her to speak up. She doesn’t. “Oh, for the love of God, what? What is it?”
She licks her lips before they part. “I’m just saying, that, the guys here are clearly getting into something deep. And, I’ve seen my fair share of what happens when they’re fuelled by club shit. Families, wives, girlfriends, kids… we’re their world, but their world is not for us. I’m lucky Chop’s getting out. But if you’re in, if it was me, I’d need to know our relationship was going somewhere.”
Jesus. A stark, compelling realisation hits me like a tonne of bricks. I told myself the night that Blackjack died, that if I grew attached to him or God forbid fell in love with him, it would be me that gets hurt.
Tanya’s right.
What we have is so much more than a hook up. We live together. We have a life together. In six months I’ll be expected to return to my father, but everybody here knows I won’t be going. The year-long break has become my life. The space I want to be in the most. Some might say I’m wasting my life or that I’m throwing away my opportunities. But I don’t care. My happiness is what matters the most. And I get that with Travis, by being with Janette and Mick on the farm, and oddly by being here around the club.
Of course, on the contrary, I know in the deepest part of my soul that standing at a fridge door, downing Vodka at the mere mention of a family, isn’t normal. What if I’m not what he really wants at all? What if he’s not looking for the normal things that solidify a couples’ relationship? Marriage. Kids. I’m not sure I want those things, but with him I can see it clear as day. So perhaps I do want those things?
My composure begins to splinter. My need to get out of here is suddenly desperate. I need air. I need to clear my head of my own thoughts before I end up ruining something that doesn’t need to be ruined.
Seeing Tanya move in my line of sight, my eyes look up, but I can’t process anything. I watch her lips part and hear the muffled noise of my name. Then she places a hand on my shoulder and gives me a shake. “Mollie?”
I hear her clearer this time. “Yeah?” My eyes blink confused and dazed. The thought of me having to return home and this all being one giant mistake makes my skin burning hot once again. Prickles dance across the back of my neck as I take a deep inhale.
“You’re wanted.”
Dragging my eyes to hers, I then look to the top of the stairs. Rocco’s standing there, a face like a slapped arse. “What?” I say, my voice wary and still not altogether with it.
“For God’s sake, babe.” Tanya helps me to my feet. “He wants you up there.”
“Me?”
“Apparently.”
Oh, God. My feet begin to move, and I wipe my hands on the sides of my jeans, taking tentative steps closer to him. I look back over my shoulder at Tanya, and she gives me a nod.
“Problem?” Rocco asks.
“No,” I say instantly, turning to look up at him.
“Good. Need a word with you.” Clearly he’s furious. He ignores everyone as they filter out of their meeting room, and I sheepishly follow behind him. I get a few looks, mainly frowns and faces of annoyance. It’s only when I follow him into the room and see Travis and Dean still sitting at the table, do I know I’m about to be reprimanded for my actions earlier.
Dean sits slumped, his chin resting in his hand. Travis on the other hand has the look I’m all too familiar with. He’s mad. Bloody fuming, actually. But I’m not sure if it’s still directed at me, or for whatever’s about to come.
“Sit down,” Rocco tells me. I watch Travis purse his lips as I grab the nearest chair and pull it out. I don’t mean to grimace as I sit, but the way in which Travis looks at me, warms my centre. He knows I’m uncomfortable. He knows I need to get back. Perhaps talking to him later might not be as bad as I’m imagining.
Taking a steadying breath, Rocco places his hands on the back of his chair at the head of the table. His stony eyes stare down before they find me.
He’s about to lay into me, so I beat him to it and start pleading my defence. “I’m sorry for showing up there tonight. If I hadn’t have gone—”
“What makes you think you can sit in here and say a fucking word without being spoken to?” Rocco grumbles, cutting me off. My back stiffens. The blood in my veins thickens. I feel the tension radiating off Travis as he watches his president speak in such a way. “No, you shouldn’t have fucking gone there tonight, just like how you shouldn’t have spoken to the cunt at the wedding. None of that has anything to do with you.”
I’m sat waiting for him to throw the woman card at me. This really isn’t the right place, but I can feel something shifting inside me. It might just be my hormones, or my sudden need to know my life’s trajectory with Travis, but I squeeze my hands together under the table, slowing my racing thoughts, trying to calm myself. I don’t think Rocco would hurt me, and I certainly don’t think Travis would allow it, but the men sat before me are nothing like the men I’m used to. There’s literally no time to think about how I should handle this.
“I’m not going to beat round the fucking bush, Mollie. You know what it is that we do.”
I double take. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say, my reply to anything related to club business always the same.
“Right. So, you know what we do when people fuck with us or try to take something that’s ours.”
“I can imagine.” My tone sounds like I’m being smart.
Rocco hesitates, presumably thinking just that. “The club has some business to see to. I need you to step in, seeing as that’s what you like to do. ”
My eyes narrow and I glance at Travis quickly. Is he serious? That isn’t what I thought he was going to say. “I don’t follow.”
Travis runs a hand down his face. “There’s got to be another way,” he says, visibly hating this.
“There isn’t,” Rocco replies before turning his gaze to me. “The coke your old friend had on him tonight wasn’t from our suppliers.”
“I—”
“We don’t have time to play games, Mollie.”
I look at all three of them in turn. “Okay. Whose was it?”
“Good fucking question.”
“Saviours. We think,” Dean says.
“Saviours? But that would mean more than one supplier. I didn’t think you allowed that within your borders?”
“We don’t,” Travis says flatly.
My eyes trail to his. “What will you do?” I ask him, but it’s Rocco who replies.
“We’ll take the fight to them. They’ve already done too much to us.”
My head snaps to him on my left. “The fight?”
“Only way to show these cunts who runs this part of the north is to take them out.”
I look at Dean whose gaze locks with Rocco’s. A silent understanding passes between them. At twenty-three he’s only one year older than me, but I can see by the way he carries himself; he’s lived a lifetime. “But…” All other words fail me.
“We need you to work with Elvis and ensure that people keep buying from him.”
My heart starts to quicken its already rash pace. “How?”
Rocco huffs. “Do what you’ve been doing. Talk to the remaining buyers. We need a calm front end.”
“Front end?” Whilst they burn it all down at the other?
“Listen. Not too long ago, these bastards wiped out an entire charter of mine. That still hasn’t been paid for. They will not be allowed to sell within our borders. Not now. Not ever. It’s going to take all of us to make sure it stays that way. Now, as much as I can feel the fucking hatred at the idea of you being anywhere near this, actually, what we need is someone who can fucking talk to these men should the need arise. ”
“Should the need arise?” I ask, only semi-following.
Dean leans forward in his chair. “You might have to use that charm of yours on some of the remaining buyers.”
“That charm ?” I repeat his words emphatically. “It’s not charm, Dean. It’s common fucking sense.” I look at Rocco. “What if they refuse to listen?”
“Then you find a way to make them. Isn’t that what you’re good at doing?” he replies.
I cross my arms, biting my lip. “I don’t want to be a part of this.”
Travis sighs. “Yes you do,” he says, leaning back in his chair when I look at him. The others don’t speak as he talks directly to me. “Baby, if it means you can help me, then you’ll do it. I don’t fucking like it, but we both know you’ll do it.”
I shake my head.
“You will never physically be there. Of that I’ve been assured. If Elvis needs you, you hit those bastards with that fire in your gut.”
My head drops. If they’re anything like Matthew, it means more violence. “Who’s left to get on board?”
“I’ll show you that when I get you home, but they’re big wigs.”
Jesus. “What if they refuse to switch buyer?”
Rocco pushes off his chair. “They have no reason to. But if like the cunt you saw earlier, it turns out another supplier is dealing near us, then we’ll do what we do best.”
None of this makes sense. “If it is the Saviours, you could end up being undercut or worse, they could find out how you run your entire operation. Current buyers could jump. You have to stop the Saviours imminently if you want to keep everyone. Failing that, you find another supplier.” I say it without thought. Everyone’s silent. Maybe I messed up again.
“We have a supplier. That isn’t what we need.”
“Then find their supplier. Eliminate them as a priority.” Again, I say it without thought.
Travis’ face turns down, and Dean looks at Rocco. “Find their supplier?” Rocco repeats my words, lost in his own thoughts.
“Take that away from them, then they can’t deal. But—”
“How the fuck are we supposed to find their supplier?” Dean asks, cutting me off.
“Do you still have the coke? ”
My head swings to Rocco. “I would—”
“Mop’s taking it to Elvis before coming here,” Travis says, not letting me get a word in. I look at him, wanting him to let me say my last piece. “Asked him to trace it already.”
“Good. Hurry him up. Then we can move.”
My head is jumping to and fro. The way the air suddenly shifts turns my stomach. They’re going to war, or from what I hear, they’re just getting back to it. “And then?” I can’t help but ask.
None of them answer. Travis stands, then walks to my side, his height pouring over me. Holding out a hand, he waits for me to take it.
I do, feeling immediate comfort as he pulls me up. “That’s as far as your involvement goes.” He turns to Rocco, his hand at the small of my back turning me, ushering me out of the room. “I’ll update you once I’ve spoken to Elvis.”
Dean stands, and I hear him follow us out. The three of us make our way down the stairs in silence, my head clouded with a million thoughts and questions. Life is suddenly getting deep and I can’t imagine it getting any worse.
Scrap that.
Freezing when I make it to the bottom step, Travis is forced to do so behind me. I’m unmoving, staring at the sight of Sophie standing next to Tanya. She hasn’t been around here for months. And now I know why.