Chapter Thirty-Four
MOLLIE
T ravis made it clear we’re over. I made it clear I wouldn’t choose between him and the baby. Seeing him now hurts on a whole new level.
The commotion outside the room has me covering my ears as best I can, desperately attempting to drown out the sound of Travis bellowing my name. He sounds pained. Angry. Wildly out of control. He’s escorted away like a piece of meat, and that, I know, is my fault. We may be over, but hearing his voice after two days of nothing is a bittersweet pill to swallow.
My attempt to help the club when I knew he wouldn’t show, ended in disaster. I put not only myself and my baby in danger, but everybody else who was there. The answer I got as to why Dean set the place ablaze was simple. He didn’t deserve another chance to hurt you again. I didn’t ask any more questions after that. I understood what I was being told.
Matthew is dead. His body destroyed by the fire. Dean couldn’t let him walk away after what he did to me. Matthew would have jeopardised club business had Dean let him live. Even I can see that. I get his way of thinking, but it doesn’t take away the guilt I feel. He hurt me, more than once. And he paid with his life. Is that just? Did he deserve to have his life taken for what he did? Deep down I really don’t think he did, but what’s the point of arguing with outlaws.
The room door opens with a slight creak, making me turn my head. I lower my hands steadily, seeing my dad, knowing Travis must now be gone.
He looks me over then makes his way to my bed, sitting carefully on the edge by my feet. Not too close. Not too far away.
I hold my breath. I haven’t been here long, but I know my dad. I know he would have requested a private room for me the moment he arrived. I heard Henry outside my room and my dad sending him away, reassuring him that I was okay and that he’d keep him updated. I also heard him arguing with Dean. Heard him calling the police.
Dean will be in so much trouble.
My fault.
Hanging my head in shame, I hear my dad take a breath. “They’ve gone.”
A cloud of sorrow sits above me. I haven’t spoken properly with him for so long. So much has changed since the night of the wedding when I last saw him. So much has changed since the night I told him I was getting married. Was. “You got what you wanted.” I look down at my arm still in the sling.
“Believe me, none of this is what I wanted.”
I briefly look up to him. “I don’t believe you.”
“You don’t have to.” He moves himself closer, shuffling toward me on the bed. “But it’s the truth.”
I see him think about taking my free hand in his. “Why the change of heart?”
“Darling, all I have ever wanted is for you to be happy.”
I blink and a tear falls. I quickly swipe it away. “You have a funny way of showing it.”
His voice suddenly sounds thick. “I know. And for that, I’m sorry.”
He’s made me feel like thinking about myself was a crime. “You are?”
Our eyes meet. “Yes.”
I daren’t blink in case I miss anything. “Then why be so hard on me? Why did you always push me to breaking point? I never wanted to be like you. I never wanted to go to university and be like those people. I never wanted any of it. You knew that, and yet you never listened.”
“Darling—”
“Please, save it.” I can’t handle another argument. I can’t take anymore rejection. My heart’s beating too fast in my chest, the idea of having this baby on my own becoming unbearable. Does he know he’s going to be a grandad?
I need to calm down. Think. Reevaluate.
Taking a few steadying breaths, we sit in silence until we’re saved by the nurse knocking on the door. She checks me over and explains they’re going to take me to have a cast put on my broken wrist.
When she leaves, I shift on the bed getting comfortable. I know I have to be the first one to say something. Giving it my best attempt to wiggle my fingers I say, “Twenty-two and I broke my first bone.”
Dad raises a small smile. “Does it hurt?”
I shrug. “A little.”
He comes back to the side of my bed; this time he sits himself much closer. “I’m not surprised it took you this long to break something.”
I look up, not following.
“You always were so sensible. Saw every eventuality before making a decision. Worked out the risk before taking it.”
And now I don’t? Is that what he’s going to say? “Da—”
“You haven’t changed,” he says plaintively. I retract, and this time, my not broken hand is picked up and cradled in his. We both stare at it. “You’re just like me.” His thumb strokes over the back of my hand tenderly. Lovingly. It’s the first sign of affection and fatherly love I’ve encountered from him in years. “Good or bad, it’s how I know you’ll have his baby and ensure you give your child the best future you can.”
The room momentarily closes in around me. My heart’s in my throat. “You know?” He knows and he didn’t make me feel ashamed or like I’d thrown my life away?
He nods.
“How?” Tears fill my eyes and my voice rattles.
“The thug who brought you in here told me.”
My mind spirals as I desperately try to piece this together. I only just found out, so did Travis. How does anyone else know? I didn’t tell anyone. Never mentioned anything to anybody. “And?”
His deep-set eyes seem to plunge into a trance. “And, I can still remember the day your mother told me she was pregnant with you.” He smiles, the tenderness in his face, warming. Letting my hand go, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. Swiping through the images, he stops on one, smiling down at it before he turns it in his hand toward me.
I smile looking at the picture of my mother, probably not much older than me at the time. It’s a picture of a picture. She’s wearing a long, yellow dress, with her hair hanging over one shoulder. One hand’s holding a stick of candy floss, the other’s on her tummy. Bright blue eyes shine as bright as her smile being aimed at whoever’s behind the camera. The most striking thing about it, though, is the way the man with his arms wrapped around her is looking at her. He’s happy, his love for the woman clearly more powerful than anything on this earth. He isn’t looking at the camera. His eyes are solely fixed on her. His world. “This was the day she told me she was having you.”
I dust the tear off my face, seeing his memory so vividly. “Who’s taking the picture?”
He smiles. “I believe it was your mum’s friend Betty. We were the same age as you. The fair was in town, so a bunch of us went. I knew something was up, she was giddy all day.”
I laugh.
“It was at the top of the Ferris wheel when she told me. This was as soon as we got off.”
“You look so happy.” I hand him back his phone, a ridiculous feeling of jealousy brushing over me. I didn’t get that.
“We were. Still are.”
I give him my best smile, but I watch his face fall flat, mirroring mine. My mother told him she was pregnant and he couldn’t have looked happier. “Why do you look sad?”
Straightening out the lines on his face, he clicks his phone shut and opens his jacket, letting it fall back into his pocket. “It wasn’t easy,” he sighs.
My face scrunches before he continues.
“We were both working dead-end jobs, earning little money. We ended up like ships in the night, trying to save whatever we could to get our own place. Except, we found ourselves out on the street when I was late to work one time.”
“Why were you late?”
He grins. “Because of your mother.”
I smile bashfully, silently willing him to say no more. “What did you do?”
“What any scared person would do with a child on the way. Married your mother and begged your grandfather to help me.”
My lips pull on my face. “And did he?”
Dad scans the room, one hand running through his hair. “Your grandfather told me that real men want their children to exceed their abilities, so if I wanted to give you the best life possible, I’d have to work a thousand times harder,” he lifts his shoulders to the sky, “so I did what I always did back then. Didn’t listen. Got us in even more trouble.”
“Sounds pretty reckless.”
He laughs a little this time.
“But, he didn’t help. Not at all?” I ask softly, wondering how that must have felt.
He shakes his head. “He made it clear that I should take care of my responsibilities.” His eyes fix on mine and they automatically fill. Travis didn’t take care of me. He pushed me away. Easiest option for him. “I’m not like my father, but I know you are just like me. So, I know if I tell you what to do now, you’re going to probably do the opposite.”
Sounds about right . Sniffing, I rub my nose, blinking slowly. “I don’t know what to do,” I admit honestly, being the most upfront I have ever been with him. It causes a barrage of built-up emotions to come tumbling from me. It’s so much, I physically don’t know what to do. I turn to look away from my dad but he’s up, holding me, dragging me into his arms. I’m grateful for the contact. Grateful for the affection he’s finally giving me.
“I only ever pushed you to make you see what you’re truly capable of.” One of his hands strokes my back, the other holding me tight. “I’m sorry if that was too much. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel less than you’re worth. But you are my daughter. You are strong. Kind. Beautiful, inside and out. And I have never told you how proud of you I am.”
He’s never said any of this. He’s never showed me anything other than tough love. It’s like a lifetime’s worth of tears have finally been set free. From him, and from me. I hear him sniffing, hear him sucking in air desperately. My one hand around him holds him tighter. My dad. The man who I know is going to make all of this pain go away.
When he pulls back, he brushes my hair from my face, looking deep into my eyes. We’re both crying. Both our faces wet with our tears. “Jesus,” he says, swiping at his eyes. “I haven’t cried like that since you left.”
My lip wobbles again. I didn’t know my leaving had upset him so much. “Dad?”
“Don’t worry. I’m okay.” He scrubs his face then hands me a tissue from the box. Blowing his nose, he chucks the tissue in the bin then looks back at me as I dab the corners of my eyes. “Darling. What do you want to do?”
He’s asking me. Not telling me. Validating the decisions I now have to make. I can’t think of anything to say but to ask, “What’s going to happen to Dean?”
His face immediately hardens to the one I’m so familiar with. “He’s going to rot in jail for putting you in danger.”
Panic rises at the thought, any calmness I just felt is instantly replaced. “He didn’t put me in danger, Dad. I was stupid. It was my decision that caused everything that happened tonight.”
“How do you mean?”
I spare him the gory details. “I went to a place I shouldn’t, thinking I was helping. I wasn’t.” I let out a gasp, trying to hold back my emotions. “I never meant for anything to happen—”
“Did he hurt you?” His face contorts. His words striking with venom.
“No,” I say defensively. Matthew did. But he’s gone . “Dean got me out of there. I swear it, Dad. He did nothing but protect me tonight.”
Grinding his teeth together, he manages to ask, “What about the other one?”
The father of my child . “No one knew where he was.”
He huffs. “Convenient if you ask me.”
“Well no one is,” I snap, immediately dropping my shitty attitude. “Sorry.”
He rolls his head, his neck clicking. Standing, he turns. Thinking. “You are my priority. I want to know what you want to do. Not those guys. They deserve everything that’s going to happen to them.”
Except, they don’t. “I’m a grown woman, Dad. I have to figure this out by myself.”
He immediately turns, his features softer. “No. You don’t.” He makes his way over to me. “The biggest question you now face is, is this just one day, a day you’ll look back on and wish never happened, or is it day one? The day you take charge of the future you’re going to have. Once you know the answer, you tell me, and whatever you need, darling, you will have that from me.”
I close my eyes, my teeth sinking into my top lip. “What about work? A home? I…” I had that all with Travis. Now it’s gone.
“You’ll work for that. Knuckle down and achieve what you want most. You’re not afraid to do that. Believe me, I’ve come to learn that over the past six months. You’re a strong woman, Mollie, whatever you set your mind to, you will achieve for you and your child.”
A sob escapes me. “You never asked if I was keeping the baby.”
Bending, he kisses my head. “We both know the alternative was never an option.” He stands straight then turns, walking to the door.
“Where are you going?” I say in a rush. I don’t want to be alone.
“Nurse will be in soon. I’ll give you time to think.”
“I don’t need time,” I say on a breath, knowing exactly what I have to do.
Dad halts and raises a brow my way.
“I’m coming back,” I can’t say the word home , “with you. Today. As soon as they let me out.” He takes a step closer to me. “But I need you to do me a favour?”
“Anything.”
I sigh, rubbing my brow. “I need you to get them off whatever charges they’ll be hit with.”
“No. No way. They’re criminals, Mollie. It’s my job to enforce the law at all costs.”
“I know,” I breathe, realising I’m asking a lot. But I can’t in good conscience leave what I have here, leave everything and everyone, knowing I put them there.
“Only one of them is being charged,” he says, and I look at him. “The man who brought you in here. The other was escorted from the building.”
That’s something at least. “Dad, you have always warned me about men like Dean and Travis. But the men like the one who did this,” I hold up my wrist, my pain evident as I grimace, getting out my words, “they’re worse.”
“Enough.” He’s back by my side, helping me to lower my arm. He hates that I’m hurt.
“Can you get him out?” I need to talk to him. I can’t just leave without saying anything to anyone. If I talk to Janette or Mick, they’ll talk me round, try to make me stay. If I try to talk to Travis, who knows, we might be able to pull things back. I’m simply not prepared to risk my child’s future on a chance of might . I can’t stay knowing deep down, Travis never really wanted a family away from the club. I don’t doubt his love for me, but he was right. It isn’t enough.
He frowns, his temples twitching. “Then what?”
“I start my day one.” My future.
“I’ll see what I can do.” Translated; after he’s let Dean stew for a few hours, he’ll make the call to whoever he needs to.
“Thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me, darling. You’re my life.”
I watch him leave the room, closing the door behind him. And I cry, letting it all come out.
I would never have bet money on me being here now. I remember the day I left, the day I took a chance on me, I promised myself I would try. I did. With everything I have, I gave it my best shot.
“It’s done. He’ll be out by morning.”
The corner of my lip raises. It is morning. The early hours after our long night, anyway. “And the phone call?”
He hands me his phone. “You have two minutes.”
I really pushed my luck with that one. Once the door closes behind me, I gingerly lift his phone to my ear. “Hello?”
“Mollie?”
“Yeah.”
“What the hell’s happening?” His voice is cold. Thick. Edged with fear.
“Listen to me,” I start, my own voice full of regret. “We don’t have long.”
“What do you mean we don’t have long?”
“Dean, listen.” I hear him move, but he remains silent. “I need to thank you, for getting me out of there, for bringing me to the hospital.” All of it.
He lets out a low moan of frustration. “What’s going on, Mollie?” he asks clipped.
My eyes shut, tears rolling. They haven’t stopped. “I’m leaving.” My words catch in my throat.
“Leaving?”
My cast arm aches. I try to squeeze my fingers. Try to feel the burn a little deeper—anything to take the pain away from the one blazing in my chest. I swallow. “That’s right.”
“Why? Where the fuck are you going to go?”
“Please. Please, don’t get mad.” Anything but that.
“Jesus, Mol. This doesn’t make any sense. You and Travis go MIA, then you’re leaving? What the fuck happened?”
“He left me, Dean. After he found out about the baby. He left.”
He heaves a sigh. “Shit. Mollie, I know it might be bad now, but you can get through this.”
“No,” I sigh. “We can’t.” Because he doesn’t want it. Doesn’t want me. Doesn’t want our baby. “I hate him.” I don’t.
“I know Travis well enough to know that whatever he said, whatever he did, it was just a reaction. They’re just words. They don’t mean shit.”
I tilt my head back, looking up at the bright lights in the room. Then I’ll make this easy for you. “They meant a lot to me. I can’t forgive him.”
“Mollie—”
“I’m sorry, Dean, I can’t do it anymore.”
“Wait. Talk to him. Don’t just leave. It will kill him.”
Like him walking out killed me. “I need you to tell him I’m not coming back.”
He bangs the phone down. “If you’re choosing this, you can tell him yourself.”
I let out a choked sob, knowing he’s right. “I have to go. You’ll be released soon.” But not just yet.
“I was arrested, Mollie. It’s not that simple.”
And yet, it is. “My father will make sure you’re out. The charges will be dropped. You saved me, Dean. I’ll always owe you for that.”
“What will you do? Have the baby alone? What kind of life is that?”
I pause and take a breath, praying that what I’m going to say doesn’t come back to haunt me. “The baby’s gone, Dean.” I slap a hand to my mouth to stop myself from screaming the truth. To stop the bile that rises with my lie. The words are harsh. Evil. Unreasonable. But they’re the only way I can see I can walk away. They’re the only way I believe I can let Travis go. He didn’t want us. If he thinks we’re gone for good, he’ll eventually get over us, move on and live his life.
“You shouldn’t be alone, Mollie. You’ll need each other.”
Holding back my tears, I see my dad step by the window of the door. Time’s up. “I need to be the woman I was supposed to be.” Not the biker’s girl.
“Mollie, wait—”
“Goodbye, Dean.” I hang up as the door opens, clutching the phone to my chest.
“You ready?” my dad asks softly.
I use all my fears to move me, turning as my dad steps closer, picking up my jacket from the bed. “Do you think I’m a horrible person?” I ask, wiping the tears from my face.
Dad regards me, taking his phone when I hold it out to him. “I think you’re brave.”
I stare ahead. “I don’t feel it. I feel pretty fucking scared.”
He shakes his head at my language but says nothing more of it. “Perhaps. But remember what I taught you, bravery is about being the only one who knows you’re afraid.”
I look at him, understanding that the second I step out of this room, everything changes.
“Can I take you home now?”
I take the first step, checking my back pocket. “Can we make a stop on the way?”
He bends his arm, giving me a nod, and I loop my good hand through it, completely shattered in every way shape and from.
But I have one last thing to do.