Epilogue
TRAVIS
Two years later
“H ere you go.”
I look up at Mads holding out two fresh beers. I accept one with a smile, watching as she passes the next to Dean.
He takes it, opening it with his teeth and spitting the cap to the ground as he sits back in his chair.
“And here’s your baby boy, Daddy.” She lowers her body, carefully passing their three-month-old son, Finlay, to him. I watch his face pull into a smile as he sits up, taking his son skilfully with one arm. He rests back slowly, manoeuvring Fin onto his chest. “Where are you going?” he asks Mads, his voice hushed so as not to wake the baby.
Mads leans down, taking his face in her hands. “Your daughter wants to play with the chickens before we eat and cut the cake.” She kisses him, smiling before she walks toward the main group of people here to celebrate Grace’s second birthday.
Grace chose the farm for all the animals, and of course, Mick and Janette were more than happy to oblige. This place has never looked so bright.
I lift my feet up to rest on the corner of a hay bale, taking a long sip of my beer. I close my eyes, head back against the chair. The sun hits my face, and I let it soak me, covering me in calm.
“Bollocks.”
I open my eyes, turning my head to my best mate.
“Pass me that parasol will you.”
I sit up, looking around and grabbing it. I place my beer down, popping the parasol open and wedging it in the ground. It blankets Dean and Finlay in shade, and I sit back down, picking up my beer. I close my eyes again, listening to the sounds of everyone enjoying themselves.
It’s nice. Peaceful. Breathing in, I smile. I’m pretty sure there’s a saying about finding calm in the chaos. That’s certainly what I’ve done. Dwelling in the present moment, I can’t help but feel like one lucky son of a bitch. I got my mate back. Watched him get married and have a son. Found secure business for the club.
Got my girl back.
Found my son.
Life really couldn’t get any better.
Hearing Fin begin to make some pretty cute noises, I can’t help but take another look at the relatively new addition. “Looks good on you, mate.” Doesn’t matter how many times I see them; I can’t help but thank my lucky stars Dean woke up and came back to all of us. He may no longer be patched in, but I wouldn’t have survived without him here.
Dean turns his head just as Fin burps and pukes all over his chest. He looks at me over the rim of his glasses, sick rolling down him, and I hold back my laugh, gritting my teeth on a grimace. Oh fuck. It’s everywhere. “Tell me when my life changed so much.”
I laugh, handing him the muslin cloth to clean himself up. Mads catches my eye walking hand in hand with Grace. I point to her. “I’d say right about there.”
Dean looks at me then follows where I’m looking.
Grace is skipping, holding Mads’ hand as they head towards Mick and Riley down by the new pigs.
“Fuck, where does time go?” It’s been a year since Dean and Mads got married. A whole two years of being in Mollie and Riley’s lives.
Best two years of my life. No doubt about it.
He smiles, watching his girls before he swipes away some more sick. “Time flies when you’re having fun.” He’s serious. He’s loving every minute of family life. It’s a thousand miles away from the life he knew previously.
I laugh to myself, thinking as we both settle back down in our chairs, viewing everyone from afar.
Content.
Beats is manning the barbeque, most of my men standing around him. They all seem happy now that business with the club has settled. We’re still doing what we do best, but we scaled it right back. Gave ourselves some breathing room.
Beats gives me a thumbs up, letting me know food’s ready.
I wave my hand. “Hungry?” I ask Dean.
“Fucking starving. But,” he drags out the word, looking down, “I’m not going anywhere until he’s slept for at least another hour.”
I take a sip of my beer, watching as Jay and Lauren walk across the open space, Legs and some girl he’s been seeing following closely behind. I know how Legs is getting on but, “How are those two?” I ask, nodding my head in their direction.
Lauren’s barely been around and Jay, well, word on the street is he wants to patch in, begin his prospecting year with the club. No way I make that call without talking to the guy on my left.
Dean sips his beer, the other hand on Finlay’s back, holding him steady. “You know something I don’t, brother?”
My hand pauses, the rim of the bottle near my lips. “I think I know something you do.” I take a sip.
“Fuck,” he hisses under his breath, as Mop starts dishing out hotdogs to everyone. “It’s not what I wanted for him.”
“I know.”
Jay finished his apprenticeship with flying colours. The kid’s a natural, and actually has quite a good business head on him. It would be a waste for him, no doubt, but that doesn’t mean he would be wasted in the club. I know it, and Dean does too. Still, “Talk him down will you?” Dean says exasperated. “I don’t want it for him.” I get it. We don’t want this for any of them. “Lauren I can talk to, that’s my job now. But Jay, he won’t listen to me about this. Bottom line, I’m not his dad.”
I swing my head, seeing Jay and Legs laughing, both of them entertaining a few of the mums waiting for food. “Fucking hell,” Dean muses, light humour in his voice.
I laugh. “Remind you of anyone?”
He rolls his eyes. “Cheeky fuck. I was never like that.”
“They’ll be no stopping him now.”
He shakes his head, going quiet. He knows once you get a taste for club life at such a young age, nothing else comes close to interesting. It’s all you want. All you see. It was his life for so long, a small part of me wonders if he misses it. Then I look at him holding his son, and I know even if he did, he would never come back. The game’s changed for him.
“Oh, I heard from Jack earlier,” he says chirpily.
“He alright?”
Finlay stretches his arms out, his lips pouting. He burps again, and we both hold our breaths, hoping for no more puke. It doesn’t come.
Dean’s hand hovers over his son like he’s a bomb that could go off at any moment. “That’s my boy,” he eventually says quietly, kissing Fin’s head.
“Jack?”
“Right.” He grins, turning to face me. “Wedding bells, mate.”
My eyes whizz back to him. “Fuck off,” I say in disbelief. “With Red? Bloody hell.” Don’t get me wrong, I’m fucking happy for the guy, but Red ? I still can’t believe it.
“She came full circle, mate. Sounds like she makes him happy. They’re living their best life. Bought a van and are exploring the country. Even bought a dog.”
“Fucking Christ. You going to go to the wedding?”
He smiles impishly. “And miss a chance to give him hell about marrying an ex-club whore?”
I laugh, taking a sip of beer.
“Anyway, what about you. Where’s Mollie?”
I’ve been wondering the same thing. “Not sure. She can’t be far.”
“Dadda! Dadda!” Grace comes running over, Mads not too far behind. “Dadda, ig, ig!” She takes his arm, pulling, wanting him to go with her.
“Sorry,” Mads huffs out of breath. “She’s bloody fast.” Her hands rest on her knees. “Grace, don’t wake your broth—”
Too late.
With a poke to his back, courtesy of his big sis, Finlay screams, his little lungs packing a powerful punch for something so small.
We all wince.
“Shitting hell,” Dean says, rocking Fin on his chest but not managing to calm the little man.
“Dadda!” Grace screams giving Fin another poke.
“Grace!” Mads and Dean yell simultaneously, forcing her to cry.
Oh, Jesus. It went from chilled to fucking wild in a heartbeat. My eyes are frantically jumping between the four of them. “Here, let me take him,” I offer over the screams, holding out my hands.
Mads and Dean look at me confused.
I look at my hand holding my beer and place it down, my hand immediately going back out. Neither of them move. “What?” I ask, my own confusion making my eyes scrunch.
“It’s okay,” Dean says, another raucous scream leaving Finlay.
“Honestly, anything to stop the noise,” I say over a fake, loving smile. “Come on, hand him over. You go see the pigs.”
He looks at me a little weirdly. Okay, so I’ve never actually offered to hold Finlay. It took me until Grace was one before I felt comfortable enough. She still felt small, but I didn’t feel like I was going to break her.
I don’t miss the look they exchange before Dean sits up, passing me the bundle of joy currently resembling a foghorn.
Mads calms Grace down, lifting her into her arms, dipping up and down with her legs, bouncing her in her arms.
I stand, my arms braced, watching what she’s doing and copying the motion.
Dean fusses with a clean muslin cloth, smothering it by Finlay’s face as I continue moving. “This will help settle him.”
“You can’t put it on his face,” I scold, instantly removing it. “Poor thing won’t be able to breathe.” I’ve never done this, but even I know that’s a stupid fucking idea. Putting a cloth on a baby’s face. Is he mad?
He smiles, the look on his face, irritating. “Okay,” he sings. “I’ll leave you to it.”
“Yeah,” I look down at Finlay who’s still giving it some welly. “I’ve got this.”
I watch Dean take Grace from Mads then lift his arm for her.
Mads steps into him, and they walk back to the animals, some of the crying fading.
Rock. Dip. Bounce. Rock. Dip. Bounce. “Come on kid, enough of that.” He wails some more, his bottom lip quivering. Jesus. How much longer until he exhausts himself? “Shh, shh, shh.”
“Oh yeah, looking real scary, Prez.”
I look up, seeing Legs, giving him my middle finger as I continue my bounces. “Keep walking, shithead. ”
He laughs. “Brought you a hotdog.” I curse him under my breath as he laughs some more, placing the food on the empty chair when I give him a nod. “I’ll leave you to it.” He turns.
“Wait,” I snap, looking down at Fin. He’s still fucking crying.
Legs turns back, waiting.
“Come on little man. Time to give it up.” I look up in the direction of Dean before lifting the corner of the muslin to Finlay’s face. I’m shocked when he takes a jittery breath, immediately calming down. “How are you doing?” I eventually ask Legs without looking up.
I slowly lower to my seat, my eyes refusing to leave the cargo in my arms as I lean back.
“I’m okay.”
“Just okay?”
After everything with Costa, Dean and Legs went through the most two years ago. Time can be mean, but it also can be a healer. He didn’t have anyone else. The club was all he had to fall back on. He never gives me any reason to, but it’s my job to worry about him.
“I’m good, Prez.”
I adjust Finlay in my arms and eventually look up, checking his expression.
“Honestly,” he laughs.
“Okay. Got everything set for Monday?”
He nods. “Yep. I’ll see Lauren off then head over. Jay might come back here with me if that’s alright with you?”
Of course he’s coming back. Lauren’s off to Uni soon. The boys are seeing her off with some of her friends, then we have business to see to. The fact he’s choosing Jay to help him proves Jay’s intentions. He’s desperate to get in. “I’ll think about it.”
He nods.
“Go on. Go enjoy yourself,” I tell him, quickly checking Fin.
“Oh, I will. Toddler mums are hot.”
“Thought you brought a girl here?” I look up, but he’s already walking away.
Jesus.
Sitting as still as I can, I realise Finlay’s fallen asleep in my arms, the muslin fully across his face. I peek another look, making sure he’s breathing, then gently settle it back down. Resting my head back, I look to see if my hotdog’s in reach. It’s not. Bollocks. I chance a move to get it, but he only fidgets, a whimper escaping him.
It’s not worth it. How can something so small be so fucking terrifying?
I peek another look at him, seeing little bubbles on his lips from all the crying. My heart flutters. “Fuck. You’re cute, little man. I’ll give you that.” My voice is soft. Shallow. Nothing but admiration for my godson.
It makes me wish I hadn’t missed this with Riley. My boy’s growing up too fast. Thirteen going on thirty. Definitely gets his attitude from me, but he has a bloody heart of gold. That’s all Mollie. He’s not interested in girls just yet, thank God, just got a serious love for fast cars. I’m not saying I object, but a bike is where it’s at. I’m thinking about getting him a little 125cc to get him started.
If I’m allowed.
The smell of honey wafts in the breeze, and I know Mollie’s closing in. Checking Finlay again, I realise I’m probably being ridiculous. He’s still good. Still sleeping. Still breathing.
Delicate hands slide around my shoulders, soft lips pressing against my neck. “Mads please, Mollie might see us.”
She nips my neck with her teeth, and I have to suppress not only the pain, but the way blood shoots to my dick.
“Ouch,” I say on a laugh, turning when she turns my head toward her.
Her tender hand strokes my beard. “Do you have any idea how drop dead gorgeous you look right now?”
I smile into our kiss. “A real babe magnet.”
She hums with a smile and pulls away, resting her chin on my shoulder. We both look down at Finlay, both quietly watching what we can see of him. I see her new engagement ring catch the sun, knowing what she’s thinking without having to ask. It’s the same as me.
So much of our lives was altered around the subject of us having a kid. We certainly weren’t as young as some young parents, but we were young enough to both make mistakes. We’ve learned from them, and for me, I’m certainly still trying to figure things out. It’s a real balance of trying to give your kid everything he wants, but trying to teach him how to work for it.
Casting my gaze to my left, I see Riley chasing Grace around the chicken coop. She squeals her excitement, a thrilled laugh cackling as one attempts to take flight, flapping past her head and nearly knocking her over.
Riley checks she’s okay, then they carry on.
“What are you thinking?” Mollie asks gently. I realise this is as tough for her as it is me. Seeing me; her man with a baby in my arms. I get it. She’s a woman in her prime. I should be filling her with babies, making our family bigger. It’s a subject that comes up occasionally which we tread around lightly for fear of upsetting the other.
“Why did you never have any more children with Henry?” I know she loved him. He was a great dad to my son and put my family’s needs first when he knew he wasn’t going to be around. If I make it there, I’ll make sure he’s the first person I find in the sky.
She doesn’t go into detail. She doesn’t give me anything more than, “He wasn’t you.” Then she kisses my cheek and holds me a little tighter.
I tentatively lift my right arm and wrap it around the back of her neck on my shoulder. “You make me so happy, baby.”
“I could make you happier.”
Turning my head, I falter. What’s she trying to say?
“We could try for another? If you wanted,” she adds, answering my silent question. I’m quiet. Still. But still very much content. Not that she knows. “But I can also wait.” Mollie kisses me, and the softness in her voice makes me want her. She’d wait for me, again. Of course she would. The woman’s a fucking angel.
Pulling her closer, I kiss her, then I look around at my son. “Do you know, in a lifetime, eleven years isn’t that long. I’ll still get to teach him to ride a bike and drive a car, if he chooses that,” I feel Mollie smile, “but I won’t ever have this with him.” I look at Finlay, envying Dean. “I’ll never know what it’s like to change his nappy or clean his sick. I don’t know what it’s like to hold him.”
Mollie gives a little giggle. “I can tell you. His nappies were full of shit and actually, he wasn’t a sicky baby, so he didn’t puke much.”
“And to hold him?”
She takes a minute, studying me. “Tell me, how does it feel now?”
I peek under the muslin, leaving it off Finlay’s face now that he’s completely sound asleep. “It feels like nothing’s complicated. Like…”
His little chest bounces against mine. He’s dreaming. His lips pout and open, eyes rolling under his lids .
Mollie nestles in closer. “Like everything makes sense.”
I turn. “I want a baby, baby.”
Her eyes instantly fill. It’s relief. Love. Happiness. Fucking, all of it. “I love you.”
“I know, baby. I bloody know.” It’s fucking unbelievable.
She kisses me gently, as appropriately as she can whilst I’m holding a child. It’s not helping my need to be inside her, though. “This is so inappropriate.”
“What?” she breathes against my lips. What does she mean, what? Her smile and subtle nibble on my lip suggests she’s on the exact same wavelength as me.
Oh. She’s playing with me. Working me into a state when she knows I can’t do anything. “You messing with me, Baby Doll?”
“No,” she traces her lips over my ear, her breath skating across the sensitive skin, “biker boy.”
Oh, she wants to start trying now. Fine by me.
“Love birds,” Dean says, making me swing to look at him.
“Perfect timing,” I say, carefully swinging my legs over the side of the chair.
“For what?”
Mollie pointlessly tucks some hair behind her ear. Flustered. “I’m going to go find Janette before we eat cake. Meet me by the barn house?” Her eyes widen, hoping I read her.
I do. Loud and clear, baby .
She walks away, and Dean lifts Finlay from my arms before I stand. “We need to sort something in the barn house.”
He stares at me, a knowing look on his face. “You’re not going to fuck at my kid’s birthday party, are you?”
My lips roll inwards. “Got a few more years to catch up on, mate.” I pat his shoulder, walking around him.
“But we’re about to cut the cake.”
I don’t turn around. “Save me a slice.” I wave my hand above my head.
“Dickhead,” I hear him call me, but I don’t care. I have a woman who loves me who wants to start trying for a baby now. I have somewhere I need to be.
I notice Skitz on his way back from the portaloos set up for the builders who are restoring this place. Don’t stop and talk to me. Don’t stop and talk to me.
“Travis.”
Fuck’s sake. “What’s up?” I ask, not a single fuck given for what he’s going to say. Whatever it is can wait.
“There’s a fence down on the outer grounds. Wondered if the builders knew or if you wanted it fixing?”
I stop in my tracks, the broadest of smiles spreading across my face. I see Mollie mending it the first day she showed up here. I see us with Blackjack and the first time I kissed her in the barn after I fell on my arse. Memories of her car that I kept here for months before one day a tow truck showed up to collect it. Had I known where she lived I would have had it delivered. But I could never find their family home in all the times I searched.
“Uh, no. Leave it. I’ll let Mick know.” He opens his mouth, but I stop him. “Beats was looking for you,” I lie. “Something about helping with the food.”
“Oh. He never said?”
“Well, you better go find out.” I hold out my arm, and he practically skips around me.
Walking with determination, I avoid anyone else, making it to the old barn house that was once our home. There are bad memories here, granted, but there are also good ones too.
We often stay here for weekends or when Janette needs some company when Mick’s really busy. But locking the door behind me, there’s only one thing I want to remember right now, and that’s how happy I feel when I’m making the woman who is my life, happy too.
Following her smell, I slowly nudge open the bedroom door. Mollie’s sat on the edge of the bed, legs crossed, leaning back on her hands on the bed. She’s undressed apart from her underwear. She knows it’s my favourite on her; a black, skimpy thong.
“Do you have any idea how drop dead gorgeous you look right now?”
She smiles, biting her lip, then slowly parts her legs, giving me full access to what’s mine.
I wheeze, my cock dangerously loaded behind my jeans. Walking to her, I undress as I go, getting down to just my socks by the time I’m standing in front of her. I think about taking her mouth, but when I see that she’s shaking having watched me undress, I give her what she wants.
My palm lands on her chest, and I push her to the bed .
Her hair fans around her, and she gives me a smile, her arms going above her head.
Sinking to my knees, I drag her underwear over her thighs, then flatten my palms on her inner thighs, slowly parting her legs. I watch as she opens up for me. “Fuck, baby. You’re soaked.”
“Oh, God.”
Yeah. Oh God . She knows what’s coming.
I dip my mouth to her, covering every inch of her pussy, licking and sucking, gently fucking her with my tongue until she’s exploding over my face, her body vibrating, her hands in her hair.
“Travis,” she gasps, trying to gain some composure.
I don’t want her to. If we’re going to make a baby, I want her drunk on my love, delirious on me and me alone. “On all fours, baby,” I instruct, being rewarded when she swiftly moves to her knees in front of me and bends.
I see the butt plug in place, and I press against it.
Mollie moans, flexing her hips, her pussy dripping.
I insert a finger, then two, pushing to three. “Good girl.” She’s riding my hand, building up to another release. The sight. The sounds. Fucking hell, it’s too much. I slide my fingers out, grip her hips, then slam myself inside of her.
Her scream is ear splittingly perfect.
I grunt, hips banging, our bodies slapping.
“Travis, I’m going to come,” she moans seductively, her breathing turning to panting.
I rest my hand on her tattoo, pushing into her, my other hand then in the back of her hair. “Are you with me, baby?” I choke, my balls tightening.
“In the chaos,” she says, gripping the sheets, and we both unravel, our breaths hot and heavy, our bodies shaking and trembling with unharnessed pleasure as we come in perfect unison.
We’re both such a mess, we collapse in each other’s arms, wrapping our arms and legs around each other, pulling each other closer as if it’s still not close enough.
Placing a kiss on Mollie’s head, I smile, sending up a few silent prayers.
Not everyone is lucky to get a another shot at love like I was. Maybe I was given mine because our love needed a second chance. Whatever the reason, my heart beating loudly in my chest is still my greatest reminder that this is my life now.
I’m not going to waste another second of it, ever again.