Sixteen
Kyrundar
I swear my heart physically ached as I retreated into my snow shelter like a scolded puppy. Not until the words almost escaped my mouth had I realized the truth.
I was in love with Zidra.
And she didn’t feel the same.
I wanted to scream my heartbreak to the stars and Iskyr’s ears, but even if I closed off the entrance to my shelter, snow didn’t insulate sound that well. So instead, I poured out my bruised emotions in silence while I prepared to sleep. My appetite had fled, so I didn’t bother with dinner. After removing my earrings and changing into a pair of loose sleeping trousers, I pulled my blanket over me and prayed.
The holy texts promised Iskyr would understand even that which we could not express in words, which was good, because words had deserted me. Other than why , my prayer was more internal sighs and groans than any coherent complaint or request.
What was Zidra doing? Was she warm enough? Would she be safe out there by herself, unable to shift?
I was being paranoid. She was a capable warrior, and she was a rengir. Iskyr would watch over her.
All the same, I tossed and turned on the grass-covered ground under my shelter. Finally, against my better judgment, I reached for the heartbond.
It lacked the faint heat I’d come to associate with Zidra’s dragon fire. Instead it felt like touching steel.
Was she blocking me? Was that possible?
I was about to pull back when a hint of her emotions bled through. She wasn’t blocking me . She was trying to ignore her own feelings.
But the truth was there, beneath the hardness of her denial.
Zidra was as restless as I was—and hurting, too, although I couldn’t imagine why. She wasn’t the one who had been wordlessly rejected. The mental wall prevented me from getting a clear read on her, but there was sorrow and shame and a confusion of competing emotions. Despite my own hurt, I ached at the pain I sensed in her. I didn’t understand, but how I wished I could soothe her.
The idea intrigued me. Could I? Could the troublesome bond do something good?
Would she even want that?
Maybe she wouldn’t notice, or wouldn’t realize it was me .
As subtly as possible, I sent calm, comforting impressions through the heartbond. I had no idea if it worked, but I held lightly to the heartbond as I finally drifted to sleep.
When I awoke the next morning, it was still dark inside my shelter. I poked my head outside to see Zidra moving through a series of stretches in the pink-tinted light of dawn. After getting dressed, I left my shelter. With a wave of my hand, it burst into snowflakes that swirled away into the forest and would soon melt.
But Zidra was gone.
My heart lodged in my throat. Desperately, I seized the heartbond. It was there, and calm—she was fine. But why would she leave, and without a word?
A shudder of annoyance echoed through the bond. I could almost picture her rolling her eyes and telling me to relax. Was that real or my imagination? Closing my eyes, I focused on the magic binding us. There! I spun around. Somehow, as if the heartbond had become a string connecting us, I knew she was in that direction. She had wandered off into the woods, away from the road. Why would she do that?
The connection was fragile. The moment I stopped fully concentrating on it, I lost it. I found the sense of her location again and took a step forward.
Wait.
What if she was simply relieving herself? Heat burned my ears.
I took care of my own business and then ate a breakfast of dried berries, stale biscuit, and leather-like dried meat. Birds twittered and fluttered through the trees, and squirrels argued with each other. The sun lifted above the horizon, driving away the chill of the night. I started muttering prayers of protection under my breath.
Still Zidra did not return.
She’d left her pack behind, and every time I accessed the heartbond, I felt no distress. If she had decided to continue without me, she would have taken her pack. If she had been kidnapped or attacked, surely she wouldn’t feel so unworried.
At the same time, she was gone, and I could think of no reason why. What if she felt calm because she was unconscious? I didn’t know who would have the nerve or ability to kidnap a rengir, though. Whatever league was hunting her, they wanted her dead, so it couldn’t be them.
Then where under Iskyr’s great sky was she?
I had just determined to go find her, even if she would be angry with me, when I glimpsed movement through the forest. Tensing, I eased forward, then leaned heavily against a tree as I spotted Zidra’s tan face and bouncy curls. She angled forward, struggling with dragging a brown mass behind her—a deer. A large one, too.
When she reached me, she dropped the deer’s leg with a grunt. “Hunting deer in this form is frustrating,” she muttered. “I can smell them, I can follow them, I can hunt them as humans do—and elves, I suppose. But it’s so much easier to swoop down and catch one in my claws. Easier to carry it back, too.”
“You were hunting ?” I demanded. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
At least she had the decency to look embarrassed. “I caught the scent and hurried after them. I didn’t want to lose the scent, and I didn’t think it would take so long.” Her face screwed up in a scowl. “It’s been years since I hunted without shifting. Deer are so heavy.” Abruptly she looked at me. “And however you were sending sensations through the heartbond without me accessing it, stop it. Your worrying was distracting.”
“Oh, forgive me for being concerned that you vanished! At least thanks to the heartbond, I knew you weren’t dead or in imminent danger.”
Zidra rolled her eyes, so exactly like I’d earlier imagined that I almost laughed. Shaking her head, she knelt beside the deer. “Then why were you worried? Making me rush back for no reason. I need to field dress it still, then we can depart. Can you transport it on another ice disk?”
I huffed. “Of course I can. But I don’t know if it will keep all day, even with my ice to keep it cold.”
“I don’t need it to keep all day, just long enough for someone to buy it.”
“Ah, it’s for coin, not food.”
“Of course. Coin is much easier to transport and doesn’t spoil.”
Zidra made quick work of removing the deer’s innards, and soon we were off again. Once my agitation abated, I was glad things seemed normal between us. My vague admission last night hadn’t ruined our friendship, and the turbulent emotions we’d both felt had faded with the night .
Still, I couldn’t deny that even if our external relationship remained the same, something had changed inside me. I was more aware of Zidra than ever. Of her practicality, quick-thinking capability, and range of skills, yes. But also of her presence, of the heartbond tying us together…and of how wildly attractive she was.
Not long after we started north, we stopped at the edge of a mixed human and elf village comprising a cluster of wood and wattle-and-daub houses and shops. While Zidra negotiated the deer’s price with a villager, I stood back and watched because it gave me a chance to admire her while she was distracted.
I’d always thought Zidra was beautiful, but now as I took in her lean, curvy figure, full curls, and tan skin, I couldn’t believe I’d never stopped before to think about how alluring she was. Perfect from head to toe, even in her scuffed boots, dusty fitted trousers, and leather breastplate, with a sword at her hip, a bag strapped to her thigh, and a traveling pack on her back. She looked capable, dangerous, and gorgeous.
No, I had to stop thinking like this. She wasn’t interested, so we would stay friends. Or become strangers, if that was what she wanted.
Even if what I wanted was to put a ring on her finger and never part ways with her again. Although right that moment, all I wanted was to wrap my arms around her, draw her close, and kiss her like my life depended on it.
“Kyrundar?”
I blinked, startled out of the pleasant daydream of her lips pressed against mine. I cleared my throat. “Ready to depart, then?”
She gave me an odd look but nodded.
We’d been traveling for less than half an hour when a strange sight caused me to slow. Ahead of us on the road, a lone man raced in our direction on foot. Sunlight glistened on the sweat dripping from his brown forehead, and dark patches of perspiration marked the front of his plain shirt.
“Something is amiss,” Zidra said, just as the man started shouting.
“Help! Help! You there! Help!”
I frowned, trying to decide how to phrase this. “I’ll take care of whatever this is. You’re not—”
“My current condition does not negate my oaths,” she said hotly. “Put us down. It looks like we may have a mission.”
The only mission we officially had, and the one that concerned me most, was finding Rouven and saving Zidra’s life. Still, I couldn’t turn aside from a person in need, and I’d only waste time trying to convince Zidra to stand aside—something that went not only against her vows but against her very nature.
I brought us down in front of the man, who stumbled to a halt, breathing hard. Short, sweat-slicked dark hair parted around his rounded ears, and he was on foot. Most likely a magicless human.
“Please,” the man said between gasping breaths, “with your magic, you can travel much faster than I…” His ey es bulged, focused on the insignia pinned to my chest. “Rengiri!” He collapsed to his knees and held up clasped hands. “Thanks be to Iskyr!”
“What’s your name?” Zidra handed the man her water flask. “And what has happened?”
“Allinde.” After several gulps of water, he pointed back down the road. “My village—void wolf. We’ve no mages and only two light elves with little training. Sent a runner to Baslune for rengir assistance, but I was going to Deersfield village to ask for men to help hold the village.”
My heart fell. “How many so far?” I whispered.
“Some livestock. My nephew.” His voice cracked. “He was six. Old man Vigon distracted the monster so us runners could escape. I fear…” He shook his head.
“I am sorry,” Zidra said, her quiet tone tight with emotion. “May Iskyr grant their spirits peace and give you and their families and friends comfort.”
“May it be so,” I agreed solemnly. “I grieve for your loss. We will take care of the monster.”
“Thank you!” Tears ran down Allinde’s cheeks, mingling with his perspiration.
I fashioned three ice disks and stepped onto one. Zidra immediately stepped onto the second. I motioned to the third. “If you wish, you may return with us, and then you can ensure we find your village quickly.”
He eyed the disk, hovering inches above the ground.
“I won’t let you fall,” I reassured him.
“All right. Thank you.” Allinde’s legs shook as he moved from kneeling on the ground to sitting on the disk .
As we flew to the village, I steeled myself for the upcoming fight.
Void-tainted creatures were difficult to take down. While some beasts caused harm because they were hungry or were protecting their territory, themselves, or their young, monsters were driven by Ascadrion’s malice. Energy from the void-between-worlds twisted by the Earth-Shaker’s rage at his banishment sometimes escaped through weak places and invisible tears in the barrier between the void and our world. Animals that came in contact with the leaked malicious energy turned into monsters. Void taint warped beasts’ appearance, made them fiercer and stronger, and drove them mad so they attacked any living thing they saw.
Thankfully, if people came in contact with void energy, which was rare, it only made them ill for several days.
“That’s it!” Allinde pointed a cluster of old buildings scattered among gardens and animal pens and surrounded by fields of grain. Not a person or animal moved between the structures.
I turned toward the village and began descending.
“Stop,” Zidra shouted.
I complied so abruptly that she stumbled half a step forward and Allinde yelped.
No, I’d been wrong. Something did move between the buildings.
A wolf with an uneven gait prowled around the corner of a house. It had grown far larger than most wolves, perhaps half my height at its shoulders, but it hadn’t grown uniformly. One grotesquely large back leg dragged a little as it walked. Lumps where its spine had grown pushed up, creating a line of bumps down its back. It threw itself against the closed wood shutters, which rattled but did not give.
“We need to lure it away from the village,” Zidra said at the same moment I said, “We should get it to come to us outside the village.”
Our eyes met, and despite the situation, the corner of my mouth curved up. If it hadn’t been for Allinde, I might have actually said, “See, we are a great team.”
Moments later, we had a plan. Actually, as usual, Zidra had a plan. She could see how things might play out in a fight better than I could, strategizing and planning ahead while I tended to act more on instinct and impulse. I sent Zidra’s ice disk close to the ground and then to the far side of town, to a fallow field where little could be damaged. The void wolf caught sight of her and gave chase, and even though everything in me screamed to go to her aid at once, I stuck to the plan.
Allinde landed next to the closest house, one far from where I was sending Zidra and the wolf. As soon as the occupants unbarred the door and pulled Allinde inside, I zipped over the rooftops.