Chapter 23 #2
“Because I thought my animal was a monster too.” He paused and added, more truthfully, “Often, I still do. There are reasons for that, though they aren’t important right now.
My situation is different from yours. But we’re both afraid of people.
We both push others away, telling ourselves it’s for their own good.
We both do everything we can to repress our animal And I can tell you, from the perspective of many more years of experience, that it does not work.
I think you’ve already found that out for yourself. ”
Spencer sniffed, wiping the back of his nose. “So, what does work?”
“I don’t know.” He squeezed the boy’s shoulder, taking care to keep his claws retracted. “If you figure it out, tell me. But perhaps it starts by going back to camp.”
Spencer sniffed again, but nodded. “Okay. Did the other counselor set off already?”
Alarm prickled down his spine. “What other counselor?”
“The one who found me first. The guy with the light.” Spencer looked round.
“I didn’t get his name. He said it would be better to wait for someone else to get here, since I couldn’t see to follow him back to camp.
Then I guess he must have seen you fly past, because he told me to stay put while he got help.
” Spencer frowned. “Only I didn’t hear him shout anything.
He just ran off. And then you were here, so I assumed he must have flagged you down. Didn’t you see him?”
“No.” Shan pulled Spencer up. In his head, his qiongqi snarled, ears flat. “Don’t worry. I’ll find him later.”
Someone must have seen him returning with Spencer and sent word on ahead. When Shan landed outside the kids’ cabins, Leonie was already there, waiting for them.
There was no way to avoid her. And no way to hide his eyes, when Spencer still needed his sunglasses. Taking a deep breath, Shan landed.
He’d told Spencer his animal didn’t make him a monster. Maybe it was time he tried to believe it himself.
“Oh, thank goodness,” Leonie said as Spencer slid off his back. She hugged the boy. “Are you all right? What happened?”
Shan shifted back to human before Spencer could start talking about the ‘other counselor.’ “He’s fine. Just tired, and somewhat shaken. Have you told everyone that he’s been found?”
Leonie nodded. “All the search parties are on their way back to camp. And I’ve let the campers know, too.”
As if on cue, the rest of the pack came tumbling out of the cabins. They charged toward Spencer, pushing each other in their haste to reach their friend.
The boy flinched, one hand flying to his face. “No, stay away. My eyes—”
“Oh, like we care about that.” Tiff flung her arms around him. “I’m so glad you’re safe!”
Ignatius gave the other kids a withering look. “No thanks to these idiots.”
“I’m glad you’re safe too,” Spencer gasped. He tentatively patted Tiff’s shoulder with one hand. “Are you okay?”
“Yep! I got back to camp ages ago. My weasel knew the way, even if I didn’t.” With a final squeeze, Tiff released him. “I’m sorry for abandoning you. Did you see the ghost?”
“Of course I didn’t. Ghosts aren’t real.” Spencer looked round. “Where’s Rufus? Shan said he was all right, but—”
Still in griffin form, Rufus pushed past his friends. He nudged Spencer’s leg with his beak, chirping.
Spencer let out his breath in a whoosh of relief. “I’m so sorry for stunning you, Rufus. Can you ever forgive me?”
“Rufus says there’s nothing to forgive,” Finley said, as Rufus bumped against Spencer like a friendly cat. “It was just an accident. And really, we’re the ones who should be apologizing to you.”
Archie nodded. “We’re really, really sorry.”
“We’ll make it up to you,” Estelle promised. “You and Tiff can have all our desserts for a whole week. Two whole weeks.”
Ignatius looked mortally offended. “Excuse me? I tried to talk the rest of you idiots out of this asinine scheme. Don’t accept this pathetic settlement offer, Spencer. I can squeeze far more out of them if you let me negotiate on your behalf. For a small percentage, of course.”
“All right, kids, that’s enough,” Leonie said, smiling. “Spencer’s back now, safe and sound. That’s all that matters. Time for everyone to get some sleep.”
“Go to your cabin,” Shan told the boys. He glanced at Leonie, silently willing her not to ask questions in front of the kids. “There’s something I still need to do tonight. I may not be back for a while.”
Their eyes met.
He hadn’t forgotten that he wasn’t wearing his sunglasses. He just hadn’t expected it to make any difference. Not to him, at least. Though she’d never seen his eyes, he’d looked into hers, many times.
But not like this. Not unguarded, with nothing between them.
The first time they’d met, it had felt like being struck by lightning. Now, it was all he could do not to drop to his knees. He couldn’t look away, lost in those endless shades of amber and brown and gold.
Leonie had frozen, too. Except…except she didn’t look like she was feeling the same roaring, all-consuming heat. She stared up at him, mouth half-open, blood draining away from her face.
A squeal made them both jump. Turning, Shan discovered all the kids were staring at them, with expressions ranging from disgust to delight.
Or at least almost all the kids were watching.
“Someone tell me when it’s over,” Archie groaned, hands firmly clamped over his eyes. “They’re not gonna start kissing, are they?”
“Come on, everyone!” Beth squeaked. She waved her arms, shooing her fellow campers away. “You heard Leonie! Time for bed!”
With muffled snickers, the campers disappeared into the cabins, leaving the two of them alone. Leonie cleared her throat, blinking rapidly.
“I take it you found more than just Spencer in the forest.” She pitched her voice very low, not looking at him. “What happened?”
“Spencer thinks another counselor found him first.” He spoke equally softly, in case any of the kids had their ears pressed to the door. “A man. He left just before I arrived. I’ll see if I can pick up his trail.”
Leonie bit her lip. “Will you come back?”
“Yes.” He hesitated. “Leonie. We need to talk.”
“Oh God.” Leonie rubbed her eyes, looking unspeakably weary. “Please, not tonight. It’s been a long day. All I want to do is crawl into bed and pretend none of this ever happened.”
He wanted to say more. He wanted to promise…what? That he would stay, if that was what she wanted? That he would do better? That all would be well?
But he didn’t know if any of that was true. And he wouldn’t lie to her. Not ever again.
“All right,” he said. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
Leonie nodded. She started to turn, then paused. Setting her shoulders, she came back, not stopping until they were toe to toe. Before he could ask her what was wrong, she placed her hand on the side of his face, meeting his gaze.
“Your eyes are beautiful, Shan,” she said softly. “Whoever your mate is, she’s a lucky woman. I hope she realizes that.”
Without waiting for a response, she turned on her heel, walking away. He stood there, staring after her, the taste of her words fading in his mouth. Desperately, he searched for any complexity to the flavor, some faint sour twist…
There was none. No trace of hidden meaning; not the slightest hint of a lie.
Only sweet, simple truth.