Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

Gordon: It was fun to stumble on a video of you doing yoga. Tell me, Ryan, was that a chub in your shorts or were you smuggling a small fruit?

Ryan: Aren’t you supposed to be working?

Ryan: And what are you doing on Instagram?

Gordon: I have an account.

Gunner: Are we guessing what kind of fruit and/or vegetable it is? My money is on roma tomato.

Dean: I was thinking gherkin.

Gunner: Of course you were.

Gunner: Who invited you to the group chat?

Gordon: Tell me, are you going to get yourself a pair of yoga pants? A nice Devil red perhaps?

Gunner: Jackpot!

Gunner: Did you guys see the new pictures he’s added to his profile?

Dean: I didn’t know you still play with toys in the tub. I’m a particular fan of the shark.

Gunner: Cause you need to overcompensate. Oliver is cute as hell. Who’s that old geezer holding him, though? Oh. My bad. It’s you.

Gunner: Found the video. And the boner. Jesus Christ, dude. Talk about no chill.

Dean: I take it living with June is going well.

Ryan: Are you fucks done yet?

Gordon: One more.

Gordon: Did you take a bubble bath when Oliver was done?

Ryan: GIF of a woman giving a middle finger

Ryan: Yes. I did get a really fucking uncomfortable erection during my first yoga session with June. My leg is doing great, by the way, thanks for asking, Gunner. And no, it wasn’t the size of a small fruit, fuck you very much.

Gunner: June is pretty hot. I’d probably pop a boner too.

Ryan: Unless you want me to punch you in the face tomorrow, I’d shut up.

Gunner:

Gordon: The video has a lot of interaction and it doesn’t look like anyone else noticed. Or at least not yet.

Ryan: Comforting.

Dean: Guess the living situation isn’t going as planned.

Ryan: Not exactly.

Ryan: Oliver and I are getting along great and I’m getting to spend a lot of time with him.

Gordon: But?

Ryan: But I almost kissed June instead of putting her in the friend zone like I should be. And that was before I found the sex toys her sister dropped off.

Gunner: Now you’re speaking my language. We talking dildo? Vibrator? Butt plug? Nipple clamps? A double dong?

Dean: What is wrong with you?

Gunner: No surprise you don’t have any toys a.k.a. fun.

Dean: You wouldn’t know what to do with half the things you’d find in my room.

Gunner: Like I’d go in there

Gordon: Did she request these?

Ryan: I have no idea. But how am I supposed to be a normal person when there’s a chance June is in my apartment riding off into the sunset on her new thrusting dildo?

Gunner: Thrusting? Good choice.

Ryan: Not helping.

Gordon: You put on your big boy pants and you pretend you never saw it. Avoidance is going to be your friend.

Dean: I agree with Gordon.

Ryan: I don’t have a choice. With Oliver in the picture, I have to get my contract renewed at the end of the season. I know we’re talking about something that’s months away, but if I don’t cement my place now, I could be across the country by spring.

Gunner: What’s the game plan then?

Ryan: I guess I need to show Nashville who Ryan Devlin is.

Ryan: Nick said the yoga videos are a great idea and he wants me to post some behind the stadium type stuff. And I’ve got to figure out how to push June out of my head so I can focus on football.

Gunner: Yeah, good luck with that.

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