Chapter 33
CHAPTER 33
CARLIE
The woman swaying at the top of the stairs looks like the woman in the pictures, but then again, she doesn’t. This one is clearly drunk. Or high. Maybe both. Her cheeks are thin and gaunt, her hair’s a mess, and her clothes look dirty and stained.
She eyes me and tips her head to one side. “Are you Chad’s new girlfriend?” she asks, and then she laughs. “Sorry to barge in. I forgot some things.” She motions to the gigantic suitcase, which I’m guessing contains as many items from her closet as she could stuff in there.
I look over to Chad, who’s folding his arms, still holding the shotgun in one hand. “I’m not Chad’s girlfriend. I’m the nanny.”
Chad snorts, and my face flames. Of course he’s going to fire me. I would totally fire me. I kept telling Law about all the things that made Chad look suspicious, but what about me? I hacked into his private security cameras. I snuck into his bedroom to snoop. I went through the phone Shelby left here. I told one of Chad’s friends that I thought he killed his wife.
Considering that Shelby is sitting at the top of the stairs right now, I’m definitely the one who looks like a fool. I did everything Law said I did. It’s only with great control that I don’t burst into tears on the spot.
“The nanny!” Shelby bursts into a fit of laughter.
“I think your boyfriend’s still waiting,” Chad says dryly, nodding toward the door. Through one of the windows flanking the huge wooden thing, I see a car idling in the section of the driveway that arcs in the yard.
“Oh. Right.” Shelby shrugs and stands, gripping the rail again as she sways.
“Let me get that for you,” Law says, taking the stairs two at a time and hefting up Shelby’s massive suitcase in one hand, his other hand on her elbow as she recklessly descends the stairs.
“Tell the girls hi!” she says in a light voice. Then she giggles and finger-waves at Chad as Law escorts her out the door.
Everything in me tenses to think that this is the woman those sweet girls upstairs call Mommy, who they want to come home. By the anger burning in Chad’s expression, this is not new behavior. This doesn’t surprise him.
He was protecting Scarlett and Zoey from her, and I have no idea how long he’s been doing that. Since long before she left, that I’m certain of. It’s written all over his expression in small ways: the tightness around his eyes that speaks volumes of wariness, the sadness lingering in his expression, the frown that isn’t quite anger and is maybe holding back emotion. Why didn’t I see this possibility?
We both watch through the open door as Law keeps Shelby upright as she toddles down the three steps to the sidewalk in four-inch, expensive-looking heels.
“I’ll go pack my things and go to my sister’s,” I say quietly.
Chad grunts in response.
I spin and hurry back the way I came ten minutes ago, sprinting like the FBI was about to arrest me to get to Chad’s house before something bad happened. I push down worries that I don’t deserve to have anymore—what will the girls do when Chad has to rush off and I’m not here? All this time I wanted to protect them, but I’ve probably done the worst thing I could by treating Chad like this. I’ve ruined my chance here and taken away another person in their life who they trusted—me.
I stride as quickly as I can through the yard and down the path. I push past thoughts of what the mound is—probably a dog, like Law said, or extra landscaping dirt or something. Footsteps pound behind me, and I startle, spinning and expecting Chad to come after me to yell at me, exactly like I deserve.
But it’s Law. He puts his arm around me and says softly, “Let me help.”
I nod, and we make it up the steps and through the front door before I spin into him and begin crying. “I’m so stupid,” I stammer between breaths. “You were right. You were totally right.”
“Shhhh, no,” he says quietly, pulling me tighter into him. “You did everything you did out of concern for those girls.” He leans back just slightly, using a finger to tip my chin up to him. “You got hurt, and with all your heart you wanted to protect those girls from that. Chad will see that when the dust settles. I see that,” he says meaningfully.
I shake my head. “He hates me.” The words wobble, making me feel even more foolish. And I’m sure Law must feel the same way. I look up at him pleadingly.
“I’ll make him understand.” His voice is low but threaded with a protectiveness that shoots electricity through me.
A half-laugh, half-sob escapes. “You came so fast,” I whisper. Even though he never believed my crazy suspicions, he ran when I called. Even though I hadn’t spoken to him in days. Even though I held back trust.
“The second you asked.” He pulls me back into his chest and kisses the top of my head. “The come not part kind of sent some mixed signals, but I took a chance.”
I start to laugh. “Come not?”
“I think you were probably typing quickly.”
Now I lean back to look up at him, at the gentle expression on his face, the protectiveness in the way he holds me to him. “I’m sorry,” I say. “You were right, about me only seeing the bad. I don’t really care that much about you not telling me that stuff.” I shake my head. “I mean, I do. But I made a bigger deal out of it than I should have. I was going to call you tonight.”
“I should have said something. I tell Ivy too much—that much is very clear to me now.” He puts a finger under my chin, tilting my face up toward him. “Just promise me you’ll always give me the benefit of the doubt, the chance to explain. That’s all I want, Carlie,” he says softly.
Whatever worries I had about those little things he didn’t tell me dissolve away. There is full trust in his voice, full willingness to stick by me even through my dark moments. He forgave me so much easier than I forgave him. He is better than I can even imagine, and he is letting me have his whole heart. Happiness chokes me.
“I promise.” Tears trail down my cheeks, and Law gently wipes them away, making everything inside me feel like it’s going to burst.
“I’ll tell you anything you want now,” he says softly. “Remember when we did embarrassing moments? I never got a chance.” He sways slightly, as though there’s music I don’t hear. It makes me laugh, and I can’t help but love that he’s letting me off the hook so simply, even though I majorly screwed up. He deserves me groveling, and I fall for him more because he doesn’t require it.
I chuckle. “To be honest, what I need right now is you promising you won’t say anything about this to anyone.”
He tightens his arms again, almost lifting me off my feet. “I promise.” He pauses, and then looks at me seriously. “Carlie, after Xavier … did you ever talk to anyone? Like therapy?” He asks so hesitantly, so carefully. After everything, he’s still making sure to be gentle.
Embarrassment dumps through me again. The snooping, the spying … half an hour ago, it seemed justified. Now I hate that I thought something so horrible of Chad when he was just trying to keep from telling the girls that their mother is so high and drunk and whatever that she doesn’t care about them. “Um, a couple times? But I thought I was good.” I can’t look at him. I’m not good, and he knows it.
He pulls me back toward him, holding me close. “This was just drastic,” he says softly. “I want you to be safe too.”
I nod into his chest. “I’ll talk to someone. It’s a good idea.” I pull away enough to look up at him in gratitude and take his chin in my hands. “Thank you for being here for me today, Law.” I pull him toward me.
“Always,” he breathes as he lowers his lips to mine.
My emotions are chaos, but his touch settles me, makes me believe that me letting down Scarlett and Zoey is something I can think about later, that apologizing to Chad might not fix things but will be worth it, that I can trust Law will never hurt me the way Xavier did, that he’s the kind of man who’s solid and honest and steady, even when it’s hard.
After several moments of kissing, I force myself to pull away. “I should really get out of here,” I whisper.
“That’s probably a good idea,” he whispers back. “But since Caleb is sleeping in your room at your sister’s, maybe you should take one of the guest rooms at my house.”
I relax against him for one more moment. “Since that means I can put off telling my family the terrible things I’ve done for another night, I accept that offer.” I take Law’s hand, and we head for my bedroom to pack my suitcase.
“Full disclosure,” he says. “Malcolm is still there, but he’s leaving in the morning, and I’ll make sure you don’t have to face him if you don’t want to.”
I turn to him before I get my suitcase from the bottom of the closet. “Just Malcolm? What about you?”
He grins and pulls open a drawer. “I never wanted to go in the first place.”