Chapter Eighteen
Lilith
Alistair can’t take his eyes off Mom. He never can when they’re in the same room.
Doesn’t it remind you of someone?
I’d been blind to it until now. I’m finding it hard to keep my thoughts and feelings in check, because any time I’m with Colter, he keeps them locked down with his hypnotic gaze.
My conversation with Raymond Lincoln, which lasted no longer than five minutes, managed to put some things in perspective. But even though I’d had so many questions, Raymond’s anxious fear about the Crawfords meant he only said what he thought he needed to, before rushing off in a hurry.
I’m a reporter, he told me. Working on a story that’s going to blow the lid off this whole town.
He got my details from Dr. Rice. I felt betrayed at first, but it soon dawned on me that there was no reason for that. I keep saying it, and I truly mean it, too; Dr. Rice is the only person who believes my account of what happened three years ago.
Sending Raymond is her way of proving it.
I think they’re on to me, he said. I think they know I’m getting closer to their secret.
What secret? I asked. I’m still uncertain whether I should trust him. I still am, now.
I’ve had a tail for days, ever since the mall.
I asked about the photographer behind the pillar, and he confirmed it was him. It creeped me out and relieved me all at the same time.
I had to be sure you weren’t one of them, was the reason he gave, before he started speaking again in frantic passion. In fact, he spoke so quickly, and spewed so much information in a matter of seconds, that I had trouble keeping up, let alone digesting a single thing he said.
In the end, it unsettled me. Not what he said about the Crawfords.
Except for the words cult, murder and scheme, too little stuck with me.
My unease came from seeing him so worked up into a frenzy about something that sounded ridiculous.
It made me realize that this is how the world viewed me for standing up against the Hendersons.
Then he was off, but I called him back and convinced him to join me at the Rusty Hook the next night. I might as well turn my obligations to Dylan’s ego into a more meaningful encounter.
As we’re getting so close to the wedding, Alistair thought tonight would be a good time to get better acquainted. Instead of rushing out of the door after dinner, he urged us into the parlor, where he’d had someone light a fire in the old, well-worn fireplace.
“Your mother tells me you’ll be finishing your studies soon, Lilith,” Alistair says abruptly. He and Mom are cozying up on a leather love seat, and I’m opposite them in one of the armchairs.
Colter isn’t here yet. Strange, seeing as we only spoke an hour before dinner at the pool. I’m a little bit annoyed by it. If you’d asked me yesterday, I would have said that it is because I don’t want to be here, but today, his absence is the cause of my annoyance.
I’d never admit it out loud, because it’d go straight to Colter’s head, I’m sure, but I kind of enjoy spending time with him. The good, the bad, and everything in between.
Maybe that’s why I’m so doubtful of what Raymond said.
“Yes, very soon.” I smile at no one. Alistair is too busy gawking at Mom again to look at me. “I’m glad too. It’s been a long road.”
Both he and Mom chuckle.
“It’ll be worth it. Your hard work’s going to pay off. Attempting to rectify and preserve the world we take for granted is honorable. Admirable.” His attention shifts to me, briefly. There’s a twinkle in his eye. It tells me how happy he is to be here with us. With her.
“It will be a grueling fight but there’s no one better for the job,” Mom says, flooded with so much parental pride, her eyes tear up.
“What’s this about a fight?” Colter asks from the doorway.
Alistair and Mom stand to greet him. Colter hugs Mom, and the men shake hands, but no one answers his question directly.
“We’re talking about school. Not very exciting,” I say, refusing to let myself fidget in my seat. The last thing I want, right now, is to let him know how glad I am to see him.
I also can’t help but wonder why that is and when the shift happened.
Based on Raymond’s accounts, I should be running for the hills. But I don’t want to.
Maybe there is something different about the way Alistair looks at Mom and the way Colter does to me.
He’s shared so many unspoken truths in those quiet moments where he doesn’t turn away.
I can’t begin to understand it in my mind, but my body sure seems to.
I am drawn to him in ways I didn’t think possible on the night we met.
Yet, here we are, and I’m just as surprised as anyone.
“Nonsense.” Alistair waves a hand through the air, the way you would if you wanted to rush someone along. “Your studies are more than exciting. You’ll help shape the future of our world, Lilith. Being humble is all well and good, but this is something to brag about.”
“I’d love to hear more about it.” Colter saunters over to the empty seat next to me.
“Wonderful idea.” Mom jumps to her feet mid-sentence. “And while you two chat, we can fetch drinks.”
“Awfully rude not to give your big brother a hug hello,” Colter says, watching as Mom and Alistair walk out the door. Getting comfortable, he undoes the top button of his suit jacket, and eases into his chair.
“Good thing you’re not my brother for two more days, then.” Not my wittiest retort, but it’ll do.
The corner of his mouth twitches. I can’t tell if he’s fighting off a smile or pushing back annoyance.
“Cute.”
It’s not the answer I expected, but the warm fuzzies hit my tummy regardless.
“Can I ask you something?” I say.
We don’t have much time, and I’m not sure if he’s sticking around when we’re done here, so now’s the best time to do it. If I’m lucky, I’ll get an actual answer. He’s more reserved around our parents, his dad most of all.
“Sure.”
“Where do you disappear to all the time?” I hesitate then to add, “I wouldn’t mind having you around more, y’know? This transition would be a lot easier with someone to talk to.”
Colter turns to the fire. Deep contemplation floods his eyes, and he flexes his neck muscles.
“It’s hard to explain,” he says after a while.
“Try me.” I lean over the armrest, moving a little closer to him. “I’m pretty understanding when I have to be.”
“My work never ends.” He says it like it’s a throwaway comment that’s supposed to both keep the truth concealed and also satisfy my question. “There’s always some fire to put out, or a kitten to save from a tree.”
“Ah, I get it now.” I fight my face to keep from smiling too widely. “I can’t believe I didn’t see it sooner.” He looks at me, frowning. “Why you sneak off in the middle of the night. Have this cool air of stern, billionaire, playboy charm…”
Colter’s stern gaze cracks the more I speak. As if he actually believes I’m about to reveal more about him than I’m supposed to know. And here I was trying to crack a joke.
Curious.
“You’re Batman,” I finish, my voice shaking a lot more than it should, given the playful nature.
The tension that’s mounting on Colter’s face drains away.
“You caught me.” Colter lifts his hands in mock surrender. “But I hope you understand, Lilith, this has to stay between us.”
I move my hand along my lips as if zipping them shut, and motion like I’m locking a door. In the same breath, I wonder about his reaction and the doubt I’ve had about Raymond.
Sure, I asked Colter the question, to see if I could gather anything from it. But instead of reacting poorly, he could’ve lied. Had he said I’m always at the office, I wouldn’t have thought about it twice. But he didn’t. He became uncomfortable.
Which means… I wish I knew what it means. But maybe digging around when the house is quiet can satisfy my question.
“Your secret’s safe with me,” I say to cast any suspicion he may have away. “But I bet you look hot in those tights.”
Colter’s eyes nearly shoot out of his skull, but the door swings open before he has a chance to respond. Our parents return with a tray full of different drink options. They brought the whole bar with them so that no one walks away unhappy.
Alistair takes our orders, water for me and whiskey for Colter, and pours our drinks himself. Then, when everyone’s thirst is quenched and we’re all sitting down, Colter returns to the same stoic statue he usually is when we’re around them.
“Having fun with the wedding prep?” Colter asks Mom, deadpan. His tone is uninterested. He’s simply filling the dead air brought on by our parents’ reappearance.
“I’m having an absolute blast.” It’s a good thing Mom has enough enthusiasm for both of them. “Can you believe it, Honey?” Mom takes Alistair’s hand in hers, thumbing his knuckles. “Two more days and we’re going to be married.”
I have to force myself not to groan out loud. My newfound interest in Colter aside, I still can’t get behind this.
“I can’t,” Alistair shakes his head violently. “No man ever could, knowing they’d be spending the rest of their lives with you.”
So, no answers then. More writhing and mental anguish anytime I see someone who looks suspicious…
Great.
Time floats by slowly, filled with the same meaningless chatter. Mom and Alistair being excited. Colter saying a few lines here and there, but not really adding anything to the conversation. And me, stuck in the middle of it, wanting to hunt down secrets I’m not sure exist.
Finally, Alistair gets up and collects the glasses for a second round of drinks, but Colter declines by covering the top of his tumbler with his palm.
“Have to head out.” He looks at me, a sheepish smile hovering at the edge of his lips. “The city needs me.”
“But does it deserve you?” I say, under my breath, so only Colter can hear. A silly joke, and one I’m not sure he’ll even understand, meant to call back to our conversation from earlier.
“You can’t leave. The night’s still young,” Mom argues, snapping her eyes to a grandfather clock in the corner. The hands haven’t ticked past eight.
“Busy days ahead.” Colter starts for the door. “So much to do, so little time until your big day.”
“No trouble, I hope,” Alistair says, but the smile he wore before is gone.
“None. At least, not tonight,” Colter reassures him, but leans in to whisper, “Elias is expecting me. I’d rather not keep him waiting.”
I suspect I wasn’t meant to hear that. But why, or what significance Elias has to them, is beyond me. My guess would be it has something to do with Saturday. A special guest, maybe, or someone who has something bigger planned for the day.
I stand to say goodbye this time, not really sure why. Maybe his comment about the greeting hug did more psychological damage than I’m willing to admit. Noticing it, Colter smirks and opens his arms wide.
I’m reluctant to give him a hug at first. For all the gawking he’s done, we haven’t actually touched one another yet. But succumbing to the pressure of our watching parents, I wrap my arms around his midsection and get my first feel of the body he keeps hidden beneath those fancy suits.
Every inch of him feels as if there’s no fat, just muscle. Flexing, firm and strong. The only thing I can compare him to is hugging stone, yet somehow, it’s awfully reassuring. The warmth of his body and the soothing rhythm of his fingers thrumming against my back help.
Holding on, it doesn’t take long for another of Colter’s muscles to join the embrace. Starting as a barely noticeable twitch, the hard slab in his pants eagerly pokes my belly in no time.
I suck in a sharp breath, inhaling his musky scent. The combination of all my senses being overwhelmed by him floods my lower half with unbelievable neediness for more.
The thought alone sets my cheeks ablaze with a blush. I am disgusted with myself at the same time.
He’s about to be my brother. This has to be wrong.
But if that’s the case, why does it feel so right?
“Gonna let go?” Colter asks after our hug lingers a little too long. I wouldn’t be able to tell if getting an erection made him uncomfortable or not by his tone.
Breaking away, I see why. He’s got a big, gloating smirk on his face. Of course he wouldn’t feel embarrassed by it. I don’t think this man is capable of any emotion other than cold, hard cool.
He steps back, and with it his eyes flick down my body. They don’t linger anywhere in particular, because our parents are standing close by. But it’s the first time I’ve noticed him look at anything other than my face.
I’m definitely reading too deeply into it, but at the same time, I enjoyed everything about this exchange way more than I should.