CHAPTER 16
Monster
I need to get my mind off things and sitting in this house isn’t helping.
I change out of my work clothes, pulling on a pair of leggings and a loose sweatshirt.
The air outside sticks to my skin when I step out the front door, the quiet of the neighborhood settling around me.
I start walking without really thinking about where I’m going.
After a few minutes I pull out my phone, call Clara and she answers immediately.
“Well?” she says. “Did you confront him yet?”
I sigh, running a hand through my hair.
“No.”
“What do you mean no?”
“I mean… no,” I say. “And something else happened today.”
There’s a pause.
“What happened?” she asks, her voice suddenly serious.
“I talked to Lucien.”
Another pause.
“Oh my God,” Clara says. “And?”
“I told him I didn’t want this.”
“You what?”
“I told him I didn’t want this,” I repeat quietly.
Clara lets out a long exhale.
“Era… I swear you make decisions that stress me out.”
“I’m married, Clara.”
“Yes,” she says quickly. “To a man who may or may not have blood on his hands.”
I stop walking for a second.
“Clara.”
“I’m serious,” she says. “You need to get out of that house.”
“What?”
“Era, listen to me,” she continues. “You said he came home with bloody hands. That’s not normal. That’s scary.”
“You’re overthinking things. I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine.”
“I am.”
Clara sighs dramatically on the other end of the phone.
“If you end up on the news I’m going to be very mad at you.”
Despite everything, I laugh quietly.
By now I’ve wandered toward the small park a few blocks from the house. The jogging path curves around a line of trees, the afternoon sun filtering through the branches. That’s when I notice someone jogging toward me. Marcus. Dominic’s coworker.
“Hey,” I say quickly into the phone. “Clara, I’ll call you back.”
“Era—”
But I hang up before she can finish. Marcus slows down when he sees me. “Hey!” he says, pulling off his headphones.
“Hey, Marcus.”
He smiles. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”
“I live close by,” I say.
“Same,” he replies. “This park is basically my therapy after long shifts.” He stretches his arms slightly. “I’m finally off today. First day off in a while.”
“That must feel nice.”
“Oh, it does,” he says. “Emily and I were starting to forget what daylight looks like.” He pauses. “How’s Dom?”
“He’s working,” I say automatically.
Marcus tilts his head slightly.
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Huh.”
“What?”
“Well…” he says casually, “I thought Sophie was the only one working today.”
I tense slightly.
“What do you mean?”
“Yeah,” Marcus says. “Me, Emily, and Dom were supposed to all be off today.” He shrugs. “Maybe he got called in. It’s rare for us to all have the same day off anyway.”
A small knot forms in my chest. Working. That’s what Dominic said. I push the thought aside.
“Hey,” I say quickly. “I’m sorry about last night, by the way.” Marcus raises an eyebrow. “The dinner…I had a little too much wine,” I explain. “And it wasn’t really my place to ask Sophie about her husband.”
Marcus nods understandingly. “I get it,” he says.
Then he looks at me a little more closely.
“And if you ever need someone to talk to… or just a friend…” He shrugs.
“I’m around.” Something about the way he says it feels slightly intentional, like he knows something I don’t.
He pulls out his phone. “Actually, here,” he says. “Let me give you my number.”
We exchange phones quickly. When his number pops up on my screen, I notice the last seven digits.
654-3210 I blink.
“That’s almost too perfect. I don’t trust it”
Marcus laughs. “Right? It basically memorizes itself.”
“I feel like even if I tried to forget it, I couldn’t.”
“Exactly,” he says with a grin. “That’s the plan.”
He hands my phone back.
“Well,” he says, putting his headphones back on, “see you around, Era.”
“You too, Marcus.”
He gives a small wave and starts jogging again down the path.
I watch him disappear around the curve. And the knot in my stomach tightens just a little more.
Why did Dominic lie about going to work today?
The question keeps circling in my mind as I walk along the path.
Or maybe he didn’t lie. Maybe he just wanted to go in.
To see her, to talk, to finish something that hadn’t been finished yet. The thought makes my stomach twist.
Before I even realize what I’m doing, my feet start moving faster. Then faster. And suddenly I’m running. The wind rushes past my face as I push myself harder along the jogging path. My lungs burn but I don’t slow down. I run like I’m trying to outrun the thoughts in my head.
Dominic, Sophie, Lucien.
Everything.
My legs keep moving faster and faster until—
Pain shoots through my chest. Sharp and tight.
I stumble and slow down, gripping the side of my ribs as my breathing turns uneven and then the tears come again.
I drop down beneath a nearby tree, pulling my knees close to my chest as I sit in the grass.
My arms wrap around my legs. Back and forth. I rock slightly as I cry.
The world around me keeps moving like nothing has changed. After a few minutes I notice a family walking along the path, a couple with a small child between them. The little boy runs ahead, laughing, and his father scoops him up playfully while the mother laughs beside them.
They look so happy. So normal. The kind of happiness that feels simple and certain, the kind of life I thought I had, the life I might never have now. I struggle to take a full breath and then, without warning, another thought slips into my mind.
Lucien.
The memory of the way he looked at me earlier today, the way his voice sounded when he said he would walk away if that’s what I wanted. For a moment I close my eyes. And I wonder which loss hurts more.
By the time I walk back home, my thoughts are so loud they feel like they’re echoing inside my skull.
I push the front door open and step inside.
The house is quiet. I drop my keys on the counter and force myself to move.
If I keep busy, maybe my mind will slow down.
I start in the kitchen, wiping the counters, reorganizing the cabinets, putting dishes away that were already clean.
Anything to keep my hands moving. Anything to stop thinking.
Minutes blur into each other, then an hour.
Maybe more. Time slips by quietly while I move from room to room, straightening pillows, wiping the table again even though it’s already clean, rearranging things that don’t need rearranging.
The sound of a car pulling into the driveway snaps me out of it.
Headlights sweep across the living room wall through the window before the engine shuts off and the front door opens a moment later.
“Era?” His voice carries through the house as he steps inside and closes the door behind him.
Slowly, he slips off his shoes and lines them up by the wall like he always does. He hangs his coat on the hook near the door, his movements quieter than usual. For a moment he just stands there in the entryway, thinking like he’s choosing his words before he says them.
Then he walks into the kitchen where I’m standing. “I know it’s been hard,” he says softly.
My brows pull together. “What?”
He exhales slowly. “Me working so much,” he continues.
“Seven days a week sometimes. I know it puts a strain on us.” I blink, caught off guard.
“I should’ve realized sooner,” he adds. “I promise I’ll be better.
” His hand reaches for mine. “I’ve been thinking,” he says carefully.
Something about the way he says it makes my stomach tighten.
“Maybe… maybe you should quit your job.”
I stare at him. “What?, Why?”
“We don’t need the extra stress,” he continues gently. “You don’t have to work if you don’t want to.”
My mind is spinning.
“And maybe…” he adds quietly. His eyes soften. “Maybe it’s time we start thinking about having a baby.”
The words hit me like a wave.
A child.
Dominic has never wanted kids right away. He always said the same thing. We have time, let’s enjoy each other first, let’s travel. See the world. But now he’s looking at me like something inside him has changed. Like he’s suddenly ready.
He steps closer and cups my face gently. “I love you,” he says softly. His thumb brushes my cheek. “And I want a family with you.” His voice warms as he speaks, like he’s picturing it. “Imagine it,” he murmurs. “A house full of life… little footsteps running around… a future that’s ours.”
For a moment the image almost feels real. Almost beautiful. But my heart starts pounding. I’m suddenly terrified to say no, terrified of what he might do if I do.
So I force a small smile. “Yes,” I whisper. “Of course.” My voice feels distant. “I’d love that.” Fear coils tightly in my chest.
Dominic’s face lights up. Relief spreads across his expression so quickly it almost looks like the tension he carried through the door has disappeared.
Before I can react, he pulls me into his arms, his embrace is tight and one hand settles against the small of my back while the other comes up to cradle the side of my face.
He kisses me. Slow at first, like he’s savoring the moment, like this is something he’s been waiting to hear for a long time.
Then the kiss deepens with excitement, his happiness almost spilling over.
I can feel the way his body relaxes against mine, the way his shoulders loosen as if a weight has been lifted off him.
His hands slide gently along my waist, pulling me closer against his chest. For a moment I just stand there in his arms, letting it happen, letting him believe everything is fine.
“Dom—” I say softly. He pauses immediately, pulling back just enough to look at me. “I’m on my period,” I tell him.
A lie.
“But… I’d love to. Just not tonight.”
For a second he looks disappointed, but then he laughs quietly and nods.
“Of course.” Then a grin spreads across his face.
“You know what? We should celebrate anyway.” He stretches his arms slightly, rolling his shoulders like he’s trying to shake off the exhaustion of the day.
“I’m exhausted from work, but I’ll order Chinese.
” He walks toward the counter, already pulling out his phone.
“And we’ll watch a movie,” he says. “Whatever you want.”
I nod quietly.
“Okay.”
Dominic smiles at me, like everything between us has been fixed, like the future he just imagined is already starting. But as I stand there in the kitchen watching him scroll through the delivery app…
I go still.
Because the truth sits heavily inside me.
I lied.
Because I don’t want to have a child with a monster.