Chapter 14
14
IVY
I was indeed sore between my legs the entire drive home.
Thankfully, the roads had been plowed before we headed out, keeping the hours in the car pretty smooth. It saved me a lot of wincing and hissing in pain.
Niko’s been wearing a proud little smirk that I’ve teased him endlessly about. I swear there’s even a straightness to his shoulders that wasn’t there three days ago. He’s not the only one feeling the effects of our time away, either.
I’m happier today. Excited to be home but not nervous for things to go back to the way they were. I always knew Niko loved me. There was never a doubt. It was just . . . different.
I think having a baby does more to you emotionally than it does physically. Sure, my body changed and created more than a handful of issues for me. Those issues don’t come close to the emotional turmoil I went through. The trauma caused by birth doesn’t disappear as soon as you’ve healed up.
Every worried moment leading up to the day, the fear with each second that passed in the hospital room not hearing a tiny baby scream, and the exhaustion in the following hours. I was up at all hours of the night feeding a hungry newborn, and nobody mentioned to me that even while she was sleeping, I wasn’t going to be able to sleep with her. I spent more time leaning over the bassinet, listening for Junie’s breaths in the dark, because I was too scared of her stopping than I did catching up on sleep alongside her.
Niko had his fair share of struggles in those early months, but it just isn’t the same. He understands that, and I’m eternally grateful for his support. Every cup of tea brought to me while I was rocking Junie to sleep and the hours he spent staying up beside me during late-night feedings to make sure I wasn’t going to fall asleep and drop her.
It sounds like the bare minimum. It’s not. He saw the bar, raised it over his head, and walked beneath it.
“You look deep in thought,” he says, rubbing at my thigh across the cab.
I turn my head, smiling at him. “I’m just thankful for these last few days. And for you.”
“You’ve got me for life, Ivy. I’ll keep givin’ you reasons to think like that.”
“I know you will.”
“Missed our little girl like a lost limb. Do you think she missed us, too?”
“Do babies miss their parents when they’re that old? Can they even miss people yet?”
“I’m okay with pretendin’ she can.”
“Wanna bet how long it takes her to try and put my ring in her mouth?” I ask, watching the houses on Jill’s block come into view.
“I’ll give her two minutes.”
“You’re generous. I’m giving her one.”
Jill’s house appears quickly, and Niko pulls over onto the curb. I’m out faster than he can turn off the truck, more than ready to have my little girl back in my arms again.
The front door swings open as Niko’s boots scuff the sidewalk behind me. Junie’s head pops out, a gummy smile the first thing I see.
“Oh, my baby!” I squeal, hopping up the steps and plowing my way inside. “You’ve grown! How have you grown in three days?”
Jill laughs, handing Junie off to me. “I fed her nothing but cake and jellybeans.”
“Did you? That’s okay. As long as you’re happy, June Bug,” I coo, kissing my baby’s soft, rounded cheeks.
I feel Niko come up behind me and shift so he can kiss her, too. “Hi, baby girl. We missed you.”
“She was well taken care of here. You do owe me a new throw blanket, though. She shit all over my favourite one,” Jill mutters.
Gasping, I pull Junie back to give her a butterfly kiss. “Did you poop on Auntie Jill’s blanket?”
A baby babble is her reply. Niko releases a happy noise and nuzzles into us, tickling her with his beard. Junie clutches my hand, and I’m a second from swooning at her attention when she brings it to her mouth and starts sucking on my engagement ring.
“What is that?” Jill exclaims, joining the cuddle pile. Her eyes grow round as she yanks my hand from Junie’s mouth and examines the now spit-covered gold ring. “He finally did it.”
Niko huffs. “Finally?”
“Usually, you ask the girl to marry you before you knock her up. Isn’t that common knowledge for a man of your generation?”
“My generation?” He gawks at her and then flicks his eyes to me, looking for help.
Instead of butting in, I lift Junie in the air between the three of us and press my hand to her belly, showing off the ring.
“How about we just ooh and ah over how pretty it is and the fact we get to plan a wedding now?” I ask with a wiggle of my brows.
Jill’s expression turns to mush. “I’m maid of honour, right? I mean, obviously.”
“Obviously,” I echo.
“Then, fine. Better late than never. As long as he makes you happy, then I say get married whenever you want to.”
“It’ll be soon. As soon as possible,” Niko grunts.
I cock a brow. “Were you going to ask me about that timeline?”
He wraps an arm around me while bringing the other to hold Junie, keeping us in a tight circle. Jill winks at me before slipping away and shutting the door we left open.
Niko brushes his lips across my hairline. “I’d marry you tomorrow, Mrs. Ivy Shaw.”
“And I’d marry you right now.”
TWO MONTHS LATER
I never expected getting married and having Travis in attendance, nor did I think that he would have been standing beside my future husband.
Life is crazy. One minute, you’re sitting on a worn-down couch, scrolling through hateful text messages your boyfriend has sent his friends about you, and the next, you’re fucking his dad in the back of his family bar. Then, you’re flashing forward nine months and giving birth to your new man’s baby before wearing his ring on your finger. It’s not only a ring, though.
It’s a symbol of how far you’ve come and how suddenly you jumped the path that was set in front of you and found another.
Suddenly, you’re a mother and a wife, and you’re dancing with your husband and daughter at your wedding reception.
Never in a million years did I think this would be my story. That I would be this happy with a life full of light and laughter and support.
For god’s sake, I knitted the pocket square in my husband’s suit jacket pocket. Yeah, because he wore it.
Niko accepts me for who I am. Every curved, knitwear-loving, peppermint daiquiri-drinking, party-planning inch of me with no exceptions. And in return, I love every scowling, anti-Christmas tree decorating, gruff but teddy-bear-soft inch of him.
Maybe being opposites attracted us after all. If he were more like me, I’d have stayed gone after our first night together.
“You look stunnin’, angel,” Niko murmurs as we sway to the slow tempo of the music.
I know we’re not alone on the dance floor anymore, but neither of us has paid much attention to who’s joined us. Our wedding was small, and our reception stayed the same. There weren’t too many people we wanted to be here. Only the most important ones to us.
“I don’t think I’ll ever get over the way you look in a suit.”
“Take a mental picture because I hate wearin’ ’em.”
“Well, thank you for sucking it up for today. I fell in love with you all over again.”
“Think Junie will make me wear one on her graduation day?”
“Yes. And her wedding.”
He furrows his brows, head shaking. “I’ll burn it after the graduation. She isn’t gettin’ married ever.”
His hold on the eight-month-old tightens as she coos between us, enjoying the music and kicking her feet to the beat. The little clip-in bow in her hair bounces as she moves her head, and the tutu on her pink dress is squished between our bodies.
I curl the hairs at Niko’s nap around my finger and roll my eyes. “I think you’ll have a hard time convincing her of that in ten-plus years.”
“Ten?” he guffaws, terror twisting his features. “Try ten hundred.”
“Poor girl,” I tell her, sneaking a kiss on her head. “Your daddy is going to drive you crazy.”
He straightens his shoulders. “That’s a father’s job.”
“She may not agree with you there. You’re used to teenage boys, Niko. Teenage girls? They’re a different ballgame entirely.”
“I’ll figure it out,” he mutters, but there isn’t much hope there.
We both know we’re in for a shit ton of mess-ups and stress that will make us feel like the worst parents that have ever parented.
“Can I cut in?”
Junie squeals at Travis, kicking her tiny, white-shoe-covered feet and reaching for her half-brother. I glance at Niko’s eldest son and smile, knowing for the first time in a long, long time that he’s happy to be near us.
“’Course you can,” Niko says.
Three words and they show just how different things have become. Even if there’s still work to be done. Tons of it.
Travis offers me an awkward hand. “One dance?”
“I’ll be generous and give you two,” I say.
Niko grumbles a laugh and kisses my cheek before taking Junie off the dance floor. I watch them until they sit at the head table, and he offers the baby a huge chunk of lemon cake.
“She’ll be up all night,” Travis notes.
“As opposed to every other night?”
I step into his open arms and take his hand while resting the other on his shoulder. It’s the basic awkward dance hold, but for us, it’s perfect.
“Fair point.”
“Did you enjoy the wedding?”
Nearly the same height as me, he keeps his stare level on mine and nods. “It was good. Different than I expected.”
“What did you expect?”
“For it to be held at the bar for one. And for both of you to be wearing knitted sweaters or something.”
I laugh softly. “Niko probably would have enjoyed that, actually.”
“Yeah, he would have.”
“This hasn’t been too awkward for you? Being here?”
Travis rolls his lips, hesitating.
“You can be honest. It is a bit weird,” I add.
“Yeah, it’s weird. But it’s not . . . bad, I guess? I know we’ve done the apology shit and kicked everything under the rug, but I still feel bad.”
I nod while we turn. “And even if we talk about it over and over again to try and make it feel easier, I’m married to your dad. That’s never not going to be jarring.”
“It’ll take getting used to.”
The new positioning allows me to look over his shoulder at my family sitting at the table, watching us. Even Junie, who’s currently palming a handful of yellow cake across her face and into her mouth, stares, curious.
Niko lifts a brow in a silent, supportive question, and I shake my head, calling him off. Travis is and always will be family. And family forgives and forgets when there’s a reason to.
Those two sitting at the table are my reason. And as Niko lifts Junie’s arm to help her wave at me, I know that they’re worth every single obstacle that I have and will ever face. Every tear I’ll shed or smile I’ll give.
As long as I have them by my side.