Chapter 16 Noelle
16 Noelle
June 20, Version 80-ish
“What do you want to do now?” Cam asks, his hand around mine as we leave the market.
“Maybe a movie?” I suggest.
We take the subway to an indie theater. By the time we arrive, there’s only one movie that hasn’t started yet: a low-budget horror film. It’s been ages since I’ve watched a horror movie on the big screen, and I nearly jump out of my seat at one point, spilling the remaining popcorn onto the floor.
When we see it for the second time a few June 20s later, I’m better prepared, but when we step out into the warm night air at eleven thirty, I’m still half-convinced that something is lurking in the shadows. After all, given how strange my life has become, it doesn’t seem that far-fetched.
But a kiss from Cam wipes away those fears.
Another night, we watch an action movie together at a VIP theater with incredibly comfy seats. The next night, we opt for a raunchy comedy. Well, Cam suggests the action movie, but when I tell him I’ve already seen it, he’s easily persuaded to see something else.
Seeing the trailers before the feature presentation is a strange experience. It feels like a message from a future that doesn’t exist for me. I’m intrigued by an opulent historical drama that’s supposed to come out at the end of the summer, which seems endlessly far away.
I live in such an odd reality.
Soon, I’ve watched every movie in theaters in the Greater Toronto Area. We’ve also watched a few movies back at my apartment, from While You Were Sleeping to The Day After Tomorrow —a day that seems like an impossibility in my life.
While spending so much time with Cam, I discover quite a bit about him.
I learn that his parents grew up in Taiwan and came to Canada in the eighties.
I learn that if I nibble at just the right place on his neck, he absolutely loses his mind.
I learn that it doesn’t matter what I wear, or how I style my hair. The important thing is that when I get to the bar, I make conversation. Any kind of conversation will do. One time, we spend a rather long time discussing traffic and whether the Gardiner Expressway should be torn down.
He still gives me his number.
He never remembers my name, though. I’ve now told him my name forty-seven times. He does remember my preferred beer and how to kiss me. Once he learned those things, he never forgot them, even if he doesn’t have clear memories of who I am. Unfortunately, spending more time with Cam doesn’t cause him to develop any new knowledge of me, and I’m stumped as to how he could be related to the time loop.
But I do learn that when he sings “I’ve Got You Under My Skin,” it’s almost enough to make me cry.
One day, I feel like doing something different. After we’ve eaten at the market, I suggest we go down to the lake.
He looks at the time. “Now?”
“Sure, why not?” I’m carefree Noelle. “Don’t worry—I won’t keep you out all night.”
Cam considers it for a moment. “All right.”
We take the subway to Union, walk south to Lake Ontario, and wander down the trail by the waterfront. At one of the WaveDecks, I run down with my arms outstretched and feel like some kind of manic pixie dream girl who’s supposed to help the hero learn to live .
Cam doesn’t need my help with that, though.
We follow the sound of classical music toward the Music Garden, where we catch the tail end of a performance by a string quartet. Even though I’ve lived this day about a hundred times, there are still things happening in the city that surprise me. While I might never see the movies in those trailers, there’s still more to discover.
We sit on a bench and look out at the dark water, my head on his shoulder.
“I’m not usually this spontaneous.” The words are out of my mouth before I’ve thought them through.
He shifts, and I straighten up to look at him.
“You’re not acting this way because you think that’s what I want, right?” he asks.
“No. Today is just… a special day.”
A dog, out for a stroll with its owner, woofs as if in agreement, and I chuckle.
“It’s the longest day of the year,” Cam says.
He doesn’t realize how right he is, and it’s more than I can handle. I laugh until I have tears streaming down my face.
He looks at me, eyebrows raised, as if waiting for an explanation.
“It sure feels that way,” I say at last, wiping my eyes.
“Did something bad happen this morning?”
“You could say that, but I don’t want to talk about it now. I’m here with you, and I can deal with it tomorrow.” I feel like I’m all over the place; my feelings are a yo-yo.
“To tomorrow,” he says, lifting an imaginary glass into the air and clinking it against my imaginary champagne flute.
To tomorrow, indeed.
In the mornings, before I go out to meet Cam, I do research. I read about him on the Leaside Brewing website—it’s how I learn that his last name is Huang—and I teach myself about beer. I didn’t know the difference between lagers and ales before, but I do now. Most beers are supposed to be clear, but I discover that hefeweizens are meant to be hazy. I learn about hops and IBUs. I learn a bit about the process of making beer, what must go on behind the scenes at Leaside Brewing. I don’t use any of this knowledge to impress Cam; when I go to the brewery, I always say I know nothing about beer. But it makes me feel closer to him, somehow. It also makes me feel like a lovesick teenager.
I look him up on social media, and I laugh when I see a picture of him next to a “Welcome to Canmore” sign. I had wondered if he’d been there.
Occasionally, I take the day off from seeing Cam and go somewhere with Avery. We rent a car and drive to Prince Edward County, where we go to a couple of wineries and sunbathe on a sandy beach. Another time, we head up to Collingwood and swim in Georgian Bay.
I show her the trailer for the historical drama, and she agrees it looks interesting, a sad smile on her face. I read her favorite fantasy series and encourage her to write fanfic, which she told me she used to do.
Our attempts to get out of the loop—a little half-hearted on my part—continue to fail. She goes to four different walk-in clinics to see if she can find a doctor who will believe her story.
She can’t.
I haven’t been neglecting my friend, but something I have been neglecting?
My family.
One night, when I’m lying awake at midnight and replaying Cam’s goodbye kiss in my head, I decide that will change in the morning.