CHAPTER 18
maverick
For all my convoluted bullshit and confusion, all it took was one look from Harley to obliterate any resolve I had to avoid him.
One look and every angry speech I’d rehearsed over the years went up in smoke.
It didn’t matter that he’d left. It didn’t matter that we hadn’t talked in five years.
All that mattered was that he was here and that I could visibly see the heartache on his pretty face.
It was written all over him—the tightness around his eyes, the slope of his shoulders, the frown that seemed stuck on his lips.
I wanted nothing more than to fix it or at least make him feel better.
How fucked up was I?
He was the one who’d walked away. He was the one who’d chosen obligation over me. I’d spent years telling myself I didn’t need nor want Harley—that I deserved better than that.
And yet, the second I saw the sadness on his face, every instinct told me to be there. To help him. To fix the problem.
I couldn’t resist him. I didn’t want to, and I didn’t plan to.
He looked good—damn good—like he hadn’t changed in five years.
Not really, anyway. His soft edges were refined and chiselled a little more, but he still clung to that fancy, rich boy look with his side-swept blond hair and clean-shaven face.
It was impossible not to notice his lean muscles beneath the tailored suit he wore. He looked polished and untouchable.
But I knew that underneath his flawless surface was the boy who cracked from the pressure of the demands of his life.
And the blush that crept over that pretty face of his when I called him princess? Fucking perfection.
“Hi,” Harley let out softly.
“I hear you’ve been asking around about me,” I said, cutting right to the chase as I refilled his shot glass. Jake ran a tight ship when it came to how much I could drink with the patrons in one shift, so I didn’t bother joining in for another round.
“Uh…” He let out an awkward chuckle. Yeah, still awkward and adorable. “Yeah. I guess I was just curious… how you were.”
I watched him toss back the shot and immediately gesture for another.
“They have these things called phones, you know.” Was it a necessary comment? No, but I was real damn curious about how he’d respond.
“I couldn’t.” Harley shook his head. “I know it doesn’t make any sense, but I just couldn’t.”
“Mmhmm.” I nodded slowly. I could’ve fought him on the issue—pressed him for an honest answer—but I didn’t have it in me. I fought Aidan enough to last a lifetime. So, I changed the subject. “I’m sorry about your father.”
“I don’t know what to say when people say that,” he said, the words falling out of him quickly. “I know I’m supposed to say thank you, but it feels weird to say thank you for that. I don’t know the proper etiquette. It just… makes me uncomfortable.”
“I’m sorry.” Noted. “Can I ask what happened?”
“Ask anyone, and they’ll tell you he had a heart attack,” Harley replied quietly. “What they don’t know is that he killed himself.”
“Shit,” I breathed out. I wasn’t expecting that. “I’m sorry, Harley.”
“I’m not supposed to talk about it. Mom doesn’t want people to know—something about how it’s shameful that he did… that it makes our family look bad,” he continued. “I don’t blame him, you know? I can’t even be mad because I understand. Sometimes, I just think that maybe I…”
His voice trailed off. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to follow the breadcrumbs he was dropping. And fuck, it made my chest tighten something fierce. Saying nothing, he grabbed the bottle from my hand and poured himself another shot, tossing it back quickly.
“He was miserable and just pretending like he wasn’t… like everything was okay because he had to… it had to be okay… my mother wanted it to be.”
“Well, fuck your mother,” I snapped. Vile fucking woman. She was right up there with Aidan on my shit list.
“Yeah.” He chuckled slightly, the ghost of a smile turning his lips. The gesture didn’t meet his eyes.
Before I could comment on it, a woman came up to the bar.
I slipped into an easy, fake smile as I gave her my attention.
The light charm and flirtation I usually threw in there felt awkward with Harley’s gaze tracking my every move.
Why did it matter? We weren’t anything anyway, and it wasn’t like this woman meant a damn thing either.
She was an easy mark with her Wilde Bay tourist shirt and fanny pack—yeah, an honest-to-God fanny pack.
I chatted her up with ease, casually pulling out the necessary information from her.
Where was she from, where was she staying—tossed in a few recommendations for good coffee or food by her—how long was she in town, and had she visited any one of the lighthouses?
I laid on the charm, and she ate it up eagerly.
“You’re good at that,” Harley commented when I rejoined him.
“It’s whatever.” I shrugged. “People just want to be seen, and tourists just want to feel like they belong here when they visit.”
“You told her Sparrow & Sage has some of the best coffee in town, except Kathy burns her coffee every time,” he said.
I chuckled. Kathy Milligan had been our high school librarian during our freshman year.
She quit to open up her own little café, Sparrow & Sage.
Her pastries were fucking divine, but her coffee was crap. At least, it had been.
“Kathy met Eduardo four years ago,” I told him.
Leaning on the bar, I kept my voice down.
No one else needed to be privy to my gossip.
“Eduardo was on vacation with his fiancée, his mother, her mother, and his sister. Apparently, Eduardo fell head over heels for Kathy the minute he met her—some bullshit soul mate crap. Anyway, he broke up with his fiancée, and her mother went batshit. She stabbed him and set fire to Sparrow & Sage.”
“Holy shit,” he let out. “Why does all good stuff happen when I leave?”
“It was fucking wild, but I haven’t told you the best part,” I replied. “Kathy met this woman toe-to-toe in the batshit department and stabbed her.”
“No…”
“Yeah.” I nodded, grinning. “Anyway, both of them went to jail, Eduardo healed up just fine, he and Kathy got married while she’s in jail, he rebuilt Sparrow & Sage for when she’s released, and thanks to conjugal visits, they have twins. Oh, and he makes the best coffee.”
“That was…” Harley’s voice trailed off, and I laughed. I could see the way his mind struggled to process everything I’d told him. I couldn’t blame him. That shit had been a wild year in Wilde Bay. “Are his mother-in-law and his wife in the same prison? I feel like that’d be a bad idea.”
I opened my mouth to reply, only to quickly shut it.
“I don’t have an answer for that,” I said. “I guess I’ll have to ask Eduardo next time I go get a coffee.”
“Maybe I can come with you next time,” he whispered. I fumbled the glass in my hand and barely managed to catch it. He wanted to what?
“Will you be around long enough for that?” I asked before I could stop myself. The pained expression on his face was telling. It also made me cave real damn fast. “Yeah, I’ll take you. You’ll like Eduardo. Good guy but a little out there.”
I didn’t wait for his response as I busied myself with another customer to keep from spiraling in what the hell was I getting myself into.