CHAPTER 113
maverick
The automatic doors slid open with a quiet whoosh, and the sterile smell of the hospital hit me immediately. My pulse thrummed unsteadily in my neck, refusing to settle, even after the adrenaline of the afternoon wore off.
I was late. I should’ve been here sooner. That was the only thought stuck in my head as my legs moved forward on instinct, carrying me to the front desk. After the ambulance left with Aria and Harley, I couldn’t move. I replayed the entire moment in my head. Every torturous moment.
Because it was my fault. The whole thing could’ve been avoided if I’d just remembered to tell Millie about her allergy to peanuts. If I’d done that, she wouldn’t have used peanut oil. And if she didn’t use peanut oil, the afternoon would’ve turned out differently.
I couldn’t stop the growing guilt inside me. I’d done this to her and to Harley. I couldn’t forgive myself for that. And honestly, I had no idea how Harley could forgive me either. The only thing I could think of was the fact that she’d left Sir Bites-a-lot at Millie’s and that she needed it.
A nurse invited me to follow her after I gave her Aria’s name. That told me at the very least that I was still wanted here. That he wanted me to be there.
I paused in the doorway to her ER room and just stared at them.
Aria was asleep in bed, her curls a mess on her pillow.
Her skin was blotchy with hives while an IV was taped to her arm and a nasal cannula sat under her button nose.
The steady rise and fall of her chest sent a wave of relief through my body.
Harley sat beside her, hunched forward with his arms resting on the bed as he held her hand and his chin on his forearms.
“I…” The words caught, and I cleared my throat. Harley sat upright, running his hands over his face. “I brought her bear.”
“Thanks,” he said roughly. He shifted in his chair, reaching for it.
The weight of the day was obvious in the worn expression on his face.
I couldn’t blame him. I couldn’t imagine what was going through his head.
I handed him the bear and watched as he tucked it under her arm.
A little sigh escaped her as she hugged it tighter in her sleep.
“Is she…” Okay didn’t feel like the right words for this.
“She’ll be okay,” Harley replied as he turned back to her. “They’re monitoring her for a biphasic reaction—a rebound reaction. The hives will go away in a few days. She’ll be tired and anxious for a while, but usually it goes away within a few days. She’ll be okay… we’ll be okay.”
The ‘we’ll be okay’ wasn’t lost on me. He was saying that last part for himself—not me.
“That’s good,” I whispered. That didn’t quite seem like a good thing. So much of this could’ve been avoided if I’d done what I was supposed to. “Do you want me to stay?”
It was a loaded question. He had every reason not to want me there—to ask me to leave. I wasn’t sure what I’d do in his situation.
“Yeah,” he said and gestured to the chair on the other side of the room. I immediately took him up on the offer and quietly moved the chair closer to the bed. My hand rested on the small bump in the blanket that was her feet.
The guilt doubled down, surging inside me, and bile bit the back of my throat. She looked so small and helpless. It killed a little part of me.
“Harley, I’m—”
“I don’t want to talk right now, Mav,” he cut me off. I shut up out of respect. “I just… I just don’t want to talk right now.”
Yeah, I couldn’t blame him for that either.