36
The square was already crowded when Henrik arrived, and many of the people there were dressed as Santas. Of course, there was a Santa Claus parade today—Nora had told him it was a long-standing local tradition. A large stage had been erected at one end of the square, and fairy lights twinkled everywhere. At the other end there was an ice rink, where skaters were whizzing around and around. Stalls were selling mulled wine, gingerbread cookies, Lucia buns, and hot dogs, all very welcome on such a cold day.
Henrik had been thinking about Nora on his way down. Even an early run in the freezing cold by the water hadn’t cleared his head. She confused him. They hadn’t known each other very long, but there was something about her. This thing between them was special, and he definitely wanted to see her again. They couldn’t simply end it when filming was over, which seemed to be her intention.
The production company truck was parked in a corner of the square, and the team was busy unloading crates containing the various gingerbread house components. Henrik went over to help them. Nora didn’t seem to have arrived yet, which at the moment felt like something of a relief after the strange vibe he’d gotten from her earlier.
He soon saw her approaching. She was wearing sturdy winter shoes, her bright-blue quilted jacket, and a woolen hat, with her blonde hair loose over her shoulders. The short walk in the cold had given her rosy cheeks. She looked exactly as she had on the day they bought the Christmas tree, when she’d kissed him. She gave him a hesitant smile, then headed for Ted and Elnaz over by the stage. Henrik took a deep breath and joined her.
“Okay, we start filming in ten minutes,” Ted announced. “You know what to do, but I’ll start things off by explaining the competition to the audience, and then you can take it from there.”
They waited while everything was arranged, and then Ted stepped onto the stage, followed by Nora and Henrik. Everyone applauded.
“A warm welcome to the gingerbread house competition between Nora Jansson, V?stervik’s leading baker, and Henrik Eklund, everyone’s favorite baker.” Ted gestured toward them, and there was plenty of applause and a few whistles. Henrik looked out at the audience and noted the position of the TV cameras. He could see Nora out of the corner of his eye. “Henrik and Nora will each assemble one end of V?stervik’s beautiful town silhouette. The rules are simple: the one who finishes first is the winner. But of course it has to look good too.” Ted turned to them. “Are you ready?”
Henrik nodded, and heard Nora say yes .
“Then let’s go!”
Henrik turned his attention to the items laid out on the table. He squeezed some glue from a little tube and began to assemble one end of Saint Gertrude’s church. For some reason it seemed important to beat Nora; maybe his bruised ego from this morning was speaking up? As if winning would somehow pay her back for being so unresponsive to his feelings. He continued with the church tower—how could there possibly be so many pieces? He had already been working for several minutes and hadn’t even finished the first building. He pressed the tower onto the main body of the church, with a large blob of glue to hold it in place.
Encouraged by the shouts of the audience—there was a particularly noisy group of Santas up front—he moved on to the town hall. Its straight lines made it slightly easier, although the roof with its clock tower was tricky. He didn’t look at Nora, didn’t want to be distracted. He moved on to the neighboring buildings. One more wall. Shit, the glue wasn’t coming out properly. He glanced up and saw that Nora had only a couple of walls of the final building left to do. He squeezed the tube harder, spread a thick line of glue along the wall, fixed it in place, threw down the tube, and raised his arms to the cheers of the audience. It was all a little surreal, with all the Santas in front of him. Nora looked up, smiled to acknowledge her defeat, then calmly finished off her section while Ted congratulated Henrik.
Carefully they carried the two parts of the silhouette to a bench at the front of the stage and joined them together on a wooden tray. They decorated it with frosting and surrounded it with cotton wool to represent snow. It would take pride of place in the main window of the patisserie. Nora tucked a couple of battery-operated strings of fairy lights among the cotton wool and switched them on; the result was magical. An idyllic winter townscape with tiny lights sparkling in the snow.
Henrik suddenly noticed a large dressing on her hand. She held it up when she saw him looking. “I’m blaming my defeat on my injury,” she murmured.
“Louder, please,” Ted said, holding out the microphone. “What happened?”
“I burned myself with some oil just before I came out.”
“Oil?” Henrik raised his eyebrows, and when he saw the little smile playing around the corners of her mouth, he laughed. “Let me guess—you were making deep-fried waffles.”
She nodded. “I thought the display counter looked empty without them.”
He was still laughing, and Ted looked inquiringly at him. Henrik spoke to the audience. “I thought I’d persuaded Nora to give the waffles a pass this year.” He turned to her. “You’ve worked day and night this week to fill all your orders, and in the short break between filming at the patisserie and this competition, you decided to deep-fry waffles.”
A few people laughed. Nora smiled and slowly shook her head at Henrik.
For a second he tried to resist the urge to kiss her, but it was impossible. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to kiss her in front of everyone. He pulled her to him and gave her a long kiss.
The cheering that followed almost burst his eardrums. He held her tight, kissed her harder. He really was falling in love with this woman.
The kiss took Nora by surprise, but she kissed him back. She loved these kisses—they were almost too good to be true—and that was what frightened her.
He pulled away and whispered in her ear, “I want to show everyone exactly how I feel.”
The audience was still cheering. She looked at him in embarrassment, but couldn’t help smiling.
But they had to talk. She’d been truly stunned by what he said that morning. She hadn’t wanted to leave like that, but she needed to be alone. She was entirely unprepared for what Henrik said; she had assumed all along that he was looking for something temporary. Nora had thought he saw her as nothing more than a fling, a bit of fun. The suggestion that they should carry on seeing each other was totally unrealistic.
She looked at him. “Can we talk?”
He gazed at her for a long time. “Sure.”
They left the square and walked down to Espresso House. Normally, Nora boycotted the chain, but she needed some caffeine to keep her on her toes. She didn’t want to let herself get swept up in any romantic nonsense. She bought a large coffee, blew on it, and took a sip. Reluctantly she had to admit that it tasted pretty good.
They continued strolling, and she took big gulps of her steaming coffee, hoping the caffeine would help her say the right things.
“I’m sorry I just took off this morning, but ... Why does everything have to happen so fast between us?”
He shook his head gently. “It doesn’t have to get serious. Not yet.” He held her gaze as he spoke. “What I said this morning, I ...” He broke off, glanced at the church they were passing, the church he had recently assembled in record time. “I didn’t mean we have to become an exclusive couple right away; I just meant I’d like to continue to see you after we finish filming.”
That’s what she wanted, too, of course, but it was all too much . The loneliness she had lived with for so long wasn’t easy, but she had gotten used to it. If she let someone in now—really let them in—what would happen?
And yet she had never allowed any man to get as close as Henrik. That had to be significant.
But no, this was too big. Too scary.
“I don’t know. Maybe this was just a one-off fling that got out of hand.”
He frowned. “A one-off fling that got out of hand? Do you really believe that?”
“I live here in V?stervik, and I’m struggling to keep the patisserie going. You live in Stockholm, you have an entire baking empire, and you’re famous.” She shook her head. “I think you’re just imagining that this is worth pursuing. Maybe it’s a way of getting over Bente?”
His expression darkened. “This is about you and me, no one else.”
“I think you’ve been seduced by the idea of life in a small town, and your dream of running your own bakery. As soon as you get back to Stockholm, you’ll forget about me and all of this.”
He gazed at her for a few seconds. “You often talk about what’s genuine and authentic, and you seem to believe that anything to do with you and the patisserie is authentic, while everything I stand for is superficial. As far as I’m concerned, what’s happened between us is genuine and authentic. And I’m very sorry if you don’t feel the same way.” He lingered for a moment, then turned and walked away.
Nora continued down toward the shore. She threw her empty coffee cup in a trash can, took a deep breath, and faced the sea. It was ice blue on this beautiful day, the wind had dropped, and feathery clouds were reflected in its glimmering surface.
She walked along the water, then turned back up toward town. She wandered aimlessly, lost in thought. She had meant what she said; she was convinced that she and Henrik were an impossible equation. But she suddenly realized that she was terrified that she wouldn’t find it easy to forget him, because what Henrik had said was also true: what had transpired between them was genuine.
She felt a sharp, stabbing pain in her chest, an echo of the pain she had felt when she lost her parents. She gave herself a little shake; what was wrong with her? To be fair, this kind of behavior wasn’t unfamiliar to her; she often reacted this way when it came to relationships. Most of the men she had met over the years weren’t looking for anything serious, but she had always pushed away the ones who were. She didn’t give it much thought; that was how she was, and she had never had strong feelings for any of them. But then none of them had opened up to her the way Henrik had, nor had she opened up like that to anyone else.
Everything was so unexpected with Henrik, both his feelings and her own. She realized that she would actually miss him when he left, and that deep down she really wanted to see him again. In which case it was best to squash her emotions now, before they deepened, before they developed into love. Then she wouldn’t be too crushed if he forgot about her when he got back to Stockholm. If she could avoid falling in love with him, then she could avoid the risk of any pain.