Chapter 7
Chapter Seven
Lily
Iwalked in the door after my shift at the hospital just as my phone pinged with a text from my landlord letting me know the repair crew planned to wrap up their work on my condo in the next few days. The news stirred an ache, heavy and lingering, in my chest.
Arizona had been incredibly kind to delay listing her place for sale so I’d have a comfortable place to stay, and while I was genuinely grateful, the thought of leaving made me uneasy.
Logically, I knew it was silly. Rockwood wasn’t far, and I didn’t need to hide anymore, fearful of Jaxon’s reaction to my return.
But what had surprised me was how much I’d fallen in love again with the small town.
After my shifts, I enjoyed the scenic ride home.
The soothing stillness and the sense of peace it provided allowed me time to decompress, away from the constant noise of the city.
But if I were being completely honest with myself, the biggest draw to the small town that used to be my home growing up was the nearness to Jaxon.
It wasn’t something I could properly articulate; it was just the feeling that everything was right in the world when he was close.
We once dreamed of graduating, going away to school, returning home to start our careers, getting married, and raising a family on the lake, but my dad shattered those dreams.
Being punished for the consequences of someone else’s actions was cruel enough, but when that someone was your own father, it cut extra deep.
It was a hard life lesson to learn when you were young and trusting, raised to believe your dad always knew what was best for your family.
I never imagined the man who was supposed to protect us above all else would twist that trust into something so self-serving.
My dad didn’t just lie; he manipulated me.
He knew exactly where to land the punch to the heart, playing the only card he knew would have me falling in line, warning that if I stayed, I would be putting Jaxon’s life in danger.
That I was the threat. And I believed him, because back then, I didn’t know what it meant to be gaslit by someone you loved.
It was never about safety.
It was all about control.
Some say betrayal is worse than heartbreak, but I don’t think you can truly compare the two.
They cut in different ways; one shatters your trust, and the other breaks your heart.
Both left me emotionally wrecked, alone, and vulnerable.
I don’t know if there will ever be a day when I can forgive my father; his betrayal still cuts too deep.
My relationship with my mom was distant at best; it hurt to know she was complicit in his plans.
She agreed to uproot our lives on the condition that he went straight into rehab, and to his credit, he did uphold that promise and made amends.
That atonement was enough for her.
But it wasn’t enough for me. Not even close.
I quickly showered and threw on a pair of leggings and a sweater before I lost my courage.
The drive to Jaxon’s place didn’t take long, but when I pulled onto his street, his house was bathed in darkness.
I knew he wasn’t on shift from my last conversation with Arizona, who liked to drop his schedule into our conversations casually.
That meant there was likely only one place he’d be.
When I reached the lake house, the place was also dark. But when I saw his black Charger parked out front, I knew my intuition had guided me to the right place.
Steeling my nerves, I stepped out into the still of the night. The only sound trumping that of my heartbeat was the gravel crunching beneath my feet until I jumped with fright when I spotted Jaxon leaning against a cedar pillar with his gaze fixed squarely on me.
We hadn’t seen each other since the night at Arizona and Jameson’s, so for me to show up out of the blue made me feel slightly anxious.
“Beautiful night for stargazing,” I said, hoping to break the awkward silence.
He looked amused by my arrival but also pensive. Unsure of himself, which wasn’t a quality I was used to from him.
I hated that I had that effect on him.
“If I’m intruding on your alone time, I can leave.” I hooked my thumb over my shoulder.
“You’re not.”
Two words. Simple and to the point.
“I was hoping we could talk. I know I owe you answers.”
“Is that the only reason you’re here?”
I nibbled on the inside of my lip. “No,” I said quietly, stepping closer to the stairs that would lead me to where Jaxon was standing. “That’s not the only reason.” I missed you, I wanted to say, but the words caught in my throat.
He held his hand out to me as I climbed the stairs, only lit by the moonlight above.
“The truth is, I can’t stay away from you. I don’t want to anymore.” I rested my hands on the center of his chest. “It killed me leaving, and I—I need to explain to you what happened. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I’d like to tell you my side of the story if you’ll hear it.”
“Lily, all I want is you. The life we once dreamed of.” He placed his hands over mine as he spoke and squeezed. “I know that’s a lot to ask of you when so much has changed.”
Jaxon had the purest, kindest soul of anyone I’d ever known. The sincerity of his truth, unfiltered and straight from the heart with no false pretenses, made my emotions bubble to the surface as his words resonated deep within my chest.
“I want that too, but I can’t move forward until we talk about the past, and then if you still—”
“Nothing you tell me will ever change how I feel about you.”
“You say that now, but nothing in life is a sure thing.”
“Trust me when I say my love for you is.” He cupped my cheeks affectionately. “Can I hug you? Please tell me I can hold you in my arms again.”
I nodded, wanting nothing more than to feel his embrace, and stepped into him, drawn by a need so intense I couldn’t deny either of us a second longer.
The moment his arms wrapped around me in return, something inside me broke open.
Not from pain, but from the overwhelming flood of everything I’d kept buried: the nights I cried missing his smile, his laugh, the warmth of his touch, and the comfort of his love.
I clung to him like a safety net, afraid the floor beneath me would give out and he’d disappear.
I wasn’t sure how long we’d stood there until Jaxon eventually guided me over to the large porch swing and sat beside me. Just having him close again made it feel like I could finally breathe for the first time in years.
“Do you remember the time we borrowed the telescope from Ms. Abbott’s classroom so we could look at the stars properly in your backyard?” he asked.
“I don’t think she saw it that way.” I laughed, remembering back.
“How was I supposed to know of all the days, that particular one was the day she went to school extra early because her husband needed the car?”
“In hindsight, we should have just asked.” I grabbed a pillow from the back of the swing and hugged it against my chest.
“It was expensive equipment. Do you really think she would have let us sign it out?”
“No. But let’s just say we both got lucky it was you who got caught returning it. If it had been me, I would have for sure been in detention.” Jaxon could do no wrong in Ms. Abbott’s eyes.
“Sure, it was you who borrowed it after staying late to help out Ms. Heslop in the cosmetology room, but I wasn’t about to risk you getting in trouble over it.”
“Always my protector,” I teased.
“A role I take very seriously.” He bumped my shoulder playfully while I rolled my lips between my teeth, smiling at the memory that was so uniquely him. “Do you remember that night?”
“Looking at the stars?” I questioned. “Yes. The sky was alive that night. I’d never seen anything like it before.”
“And yet all I saw was you.”
I smacked him with my pillow and laughed. “I can’t with you.”
His expression held firm. “I mean it—still mean it. That night changed everything for me. It was the first time I knew you were the girl for me.”
“Jaxon, we were what, thirteen? Fourteen?”
“That doesn’t make it any less true. We’d been friends for years, then something shifted after we went to junior prom in eighth grade.
I realized I was feeling things friends aren’t supposed to feel.
But I didn’t want to lose what we had, so I stayed quiet.
It wasn’t until that night in high school when we snuck out here once I had my license that the extent of what I felt truly hit me. ”
“Was that why you suddenly went all-in on our ice cream adventures and made us try and rate every flavor?”
“Sure was. I knew your weakness after all.”
“Maybe I said yes because of the company and not the ice cream.”
“Did you now?” He flashed that signature smirk of his that always unleashed an array of butterflies in my chest.
“You know I did; you weren’t the only one who was afraid to cross that line from friendship to something more.”
“It was worth the wait,” he said, like the answer had always been obvious.
“Our first kiss was so awkward.” I shook my head, remembering how embarrassed I’d been when our teeth bumped.
“And what did I say to that?”
“That we just needed more practice.”
A soft laugh passed between us, but his eyes dimmed a little, shadowed by something heavier.
“I wanted all your firsts,” he said quietly. “And your lasts.”
Sadness shifted the tone, rolling in like thunder on the horizon, impossible to ignore. The hurt I’d caused him was unfathomable and something I had to live with.
“I’m sorry, Jaxon. I—” I looked away, searching for the strength to say what I needed to.
“It’s okay, Lils.” He reached for my hand and interlocked our fingers.
“But it’s not okay. Nothing has been right since that day.” My voice caught in my throat. “The day I broke us.”
Jaxon used his other hand to gently brush his fingers over my cheek, tilting my chin until our eyes met. “Do you think that was how our story was supposed to end?”