Chapter 7 #3
“If only.” A soft laugh escaped my lips.
“My parents never spoke of our time in London, and I got grounded whenever I did. They hoped that, given my age, I’d forget as I got older, which I did, truthfully.
It wasn’t until my Dad left the last week of summer before senior year started, and I overheard my mom arguing on the phone with him, something about papers regarding his mom’s estate and cleaning out her room at a nursing home, that I noticed my parents were acting weird. ”
“I remember you telling me you didn’t even know you had any living relatives.”
“Exactly, it didn’t make sense, but at the same time, we were seniors, and I wanted our last year to be memorable. I was barely home. Always wherever you were, so I didn’t really pay attention as I should have at home.”
Jaxon leaned his head against my shoulder.
“I guess his return to London tipped someone off because that’s when he started drinking heavily. Apparently, there were anonymous letters sent to our house, too, but I didn’t know about those until the day we left.”
“What did they say? Do you know?”
“I know what he wanted me to think.” I sighed, feeling the resentment of my dad’s betrayal surfacing.
“Which was?”
“That my life was in danger.”
“Fuck!” Jaxon groaned.
“That morning of our graduation, he showed me photos . . . photos of me sneaking out to see you, photos of you on the football field during practice, photos of us around town. He said people were after him, and that they had threatened to kidnap me to make him pay for destroying the family of the patient who died on his operating table. But that wasn’t the truth; it was just how he spun it to manipulate me. ”
“How so?”
“He said losing his career had nearly destroyed him—but losing his family was something he wouldn’t allow.
It was absolutely non-negotiable in his mind.
He did what he had to do to keep my mom and me under his control.
Even when it meant destroying what I loved most—you.
” Under the weight of everything I’d buried, my throat tightened as I tried to keep speaking.
“He concocted a lie and used my devotion as a weapon, threatening your life if I didn’t comply with his demands.
” I choked on a sob as my hands started shaking.
“You have to know, Jaxon, I didn’t want to leave.
” The words barely escaped me. “I didn’t, I promise.
” Tears streamed down my face, blurring my surroundings.
“I just . . . I couldn’t bear the thought of something happening to you; I couldn’t.
I wanted to run away with you. Just you.
Always you.” My body curled inward, trembling uncontrollably as the pain inside me shattered the silence and spilled out into the cold night air.
Jaxon rubbed my back softly with purpose, allowing me a safe space to bare my sins, but it felt like an uphill battle as my mind still spiraled, fearful he’d never look at me the same again.
“What was the hardest decision of my life became my worst decision once I finally learned the truth.” Admitting that out loud for the first time was gut-wrenching, yet brutally honest and freeing.
Years of being haunted by my choice, questioning my decision every day, and eventually learning about the manipulation had been devastating and taken its toll. But as I shared my story with Jaxon, I knew the only path before us was forward.
No one could change the past.
But I had the power to bring it into the light and release its hold over me.
“What was the truth?” Jaxon’s voice was tentative, softly prompting me to continue.
“A private investigator had found him despite changing our last names, and instead of facing the consequences of his actions, he chose to run again. My dad had never been looking out for me at all; he staged everything, the photos, the letters.”
“Jesus Christ,” Jaxon murmured behind me.
“I’m so sorry, Jaxon. I’m so sorry I hurt you.” I tried to steady my breathing, but it didn’t matter; I could feel panic tightening around my ribs.
“Lily—”
I pushed myself to my feet and away from his grasp, wrapping my arms around myself.
The emotional weight of it all was crushing.
My hands trembled, and my hearing suddenly sounded like I was underwater.
It was still a lot to process after years of being lied to by my parents.
The betrayal cut deep. It made me feel weak and insignificant.
Broken. And it was when I was in that mindset, fragile and vulnerable, that I let my guard down and walked mindlessly into a different kind of ruin.
My knees gave out beneath me just shy of the railing, but Jaxon was right there to catch me. He hoisted me up into his strong and capable arms like the shining knight I remembered. But I didn’t deserve this level of compassion and understanding.
I hadn’t earned it.
“No, Jaxon. I need to go. I-I need to leave,” I stuttered, struggling to breathe between gut-wrenching sobs.
“You want to leave?” There was no hiding the pain behind his words. “Again?”
“No, I don’t, but you need time.”
“Time for what, exactly? We’ve already lost too much.”
“Time to process. Time to digest. Time to decide if you can forgive me or not.”
Jaxon lowered my feet to the ground and moved his hands to cup my cheeks, softly brushing my tears away with his thumbs while he held my attention with his piercing hazel-hued eyes.
“Lily, you need to stop trying to push me away, thinking you don’t deserve a second chance.
I don’t need time, nor do I want it. I loved you then, and I love you now, possibly even more.
Your selfless spirit—you’ve always been mine, mine to love, mine to cherish, and mine to protect.
Sure, outside forces might have driven us apart years ago, but we’ve found our way back to one another because that’s what happens when you’re soulmates.
You’re mine, and I’m never letting you go again. ”
Jaxon threaded his fingers through my hair, angling my neck upward before he crushed his mouth against mine, stripping me of any lingering doubts as he deepened the kiss, flooding my senses with a longing so deep it erased every second of our time apart, folding the past and present into one breathless moment in time.
He gave himself to me entirely without fear or restraint as his tongue stroked against mine with a seamless finesse that felt like coming home to your person.
Warm and familiar.
It was a tangible mix of urgency and reverence.
The tenderness of the way he held me close, the pent-up years of longing and need, poured out from both of us as we gave into the feeling that was uniquely ours. It was the kind of kiss that didn’t just stir a plea, it anchored us with every beat of our hearts, every breath united.
Nothing had ever felt so right as in that moment. I felt centered and safe, in a way I hadn’t allowed myself to feel in years. It was as though every twist and turn my life had taken, in a strange way, had to happen the way it did for the stars to align and bring me to where I ultimately stood.
Back in his arms.
Exactly where the universe always meant for me to be.
“Now do you believe me?” he asked with love-drunk, hooded eyes and a grin that brought every part of my body to life. “Do you trust me?”
“There isn’t a single soul on this earth I trust the way I trust you, Jaxon.”
“I’m going to hold you to that, Lily-Bee.”
He’d barely finished the words before his mouth was eagerly on mine again.
And when he whispered that old nickname, the one only he ever called me, I felt my heart begin to mend.
It was as if all the tattered threads holding my heart together had new life breathed into them, weaving through all the cracks and valleys, healing me softly with unhurried strokes of his tongue, pulling me back together piece by piece as I clung to him like the air I’d been missing.