Chapter 18
TINLEY
“How do I look?” I managed not to fight with my hair today, but I wanted to look nice when I met Rayna.
“Adorable.” Josh squeezed one of my braids and patted my shoulder. “I’ll meet you in the office.” He kissed the side of my head and walked away.
I stared at my reflection. It was getting easier to see myself and my little.
Josh was right. She was fighting to come out more.
Especially after therapy, when I was super vulnerable, my little was practically in charge.
I was skipping and jumping around like I had ants in my pants, but it helped heal my mind and allowed me to sleep at night with only a few nightmares.
The phone rang in the next room. My eyes grew wide. I grabbed some lip gloss that showed up in my bathroom along with a few other items of makeup. I straightened my collar under the green dress I found in my closet. It matched Josh’s eyes.
“Tinley,” Josh called.
I shut off the light and ran to the office. My favorite pastime was sliding across the marble floor.
“Woo.” I slid right past the office door.
“Tinley.” Josh glared. “You’re going to hurt yourself.”
“I’m sorry.” He stood up and set the computer on the coffee table. He reached out his hand and I took it. He led me to the couch and sat down next to me. Mr. Kyler’s face appeared on the screen.
“Hi, Tinley.” His permanent frown greeted me, but there was a lightness in his eyes I hadn’t seen before. “How are you?”
“I’m fine.” I nodded. “How are you?”
“Better now.” His lips tried to smile.
“Daddy.” Rayna’s voice came from his left. “Help.”
Kyler stood up and went off screen.
“Josh,” I whispered. “Kyler smiled. I saw it.”
He gasped and clutched his chest. “No.”
“Yeah.” I giggled.
He sat back down and pulled Rayna on his lap.
My mouth fell open. She was gorgeous. She had wavy hair pulled back into two braids. She had the biggest brown eyes and the cutest button nose.
“Oh my goodness,” she whispered.
She pointed.
I pointed.
“You’re so cute,” we said in unison and erupted in giggles.
“Hi, Rayna.” Josh waved.
“Uncle Josh.” She had the prettiest smile. “How could you let him buy a whole building?”
“Are you okay?” Josh frowned and I took his hand.
“Yeah.” Rayna adjusted her arm. “I hurt my hand, but other than that, right as rain.”
She giggled and I joined her.
“I wasn’t consulted about his tactics to keep an eye on you.” Josh nodded.
“Not like you could have stopped me.” Kyler grunted.
“True and I ran some numbers.” Josh pretended to flip through his phone. “It’s going to be a nice investment, or we could turn it into Quad Rutgers.”
“See, I am capable of making sound business decisions without you.” Kyler held Rayna tight. She melted into him.
“Yeah, this decision was purely a business decision.” Josh chuckled. Kyler glared.
“Okay, you two go away.” Rayna slid off Kyler’s lap. “I have to talk to my bestie alone.”
She practically pushed Kyler out of the room.
“Josh.” She pointed at him. “You too. Go.”
“Bossy little thing,” Josh said. “You okay?”
“Yep.” I nodded and watched him walk away. He closed the door behind him.
“Is he gone?” Rayna asked.
“Yeah.”
She sighed. “Kyler is hovering, but he can’t hear.” She put earbuds in her ears and punched at the screen.
“There.” She nodded. “I’m so glad to meet you. I’m happy that Josh found you. Has he been taking good care of you?”
“Yes. He’s been great.” I slid to the floor and pulled the screen closer. “I’m sorry about what happened to you. I bet you were really scared.”
“Yeah, I was, but I knew my Daddy was going to come and save me.” She smiled back at him. “I’m sorry about what happened to you.”
“Oh, it’s okay.” I looked down. “I’m dealing with it.”
“Yeah, you are, because that’s what us ninjas do.” Rayna moved her hands into a karate chop.
“Ninja?”
Josh said she was into that stuff.
“Yep. I’m a ninja and now you will be too.” She leaned in. “After the initiation, of course.”
“Of course.”
“Then we will have our very own clan.” Rayna grinned.
“What’s a clan?” Music played from the other room.
“It’s a gang of ninjas.” Rayna turned. “Daddy, can I have a piece of paper and a pen?” She turned back to me. “We have to create our clan creed and of course our secret handshake.”
I giggled.
“Oh, no, Tinley.” Her face frowned. “Ninja business is serious.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.” I tried to match her serious expression. We both erupted in giggles.
“And as ninjas we hold onto each other’s secrets, right?” Rayna nodded.
I nodded back.
“So if you need to talk to me about anything, it stays between you and me and vice versa. Right?”
“Right.”
Rayna wrote something on the piece of paper and held it up. It said:
Do you like Josh?
My eyes grew wide. I nodded slightly. Rayna stifled a squeal. It took all her effort and made her look like was holding in a sneeze. We giggled again.
But my giggles stopped. My heart raced. I did like Josh. I frowned.
“What’s wrong? He likes you, too.” She looked over her shoulder, but Kyler was gone.
“How do you know?” I pulled the screen closer.
“I could see it in his eyes when he looked at you.” Rayna shook her head. “That man is in love.”
I frowned and Rayna stopped dancing. “Don’t you want him to like you?”
“I don’t think I’m the right… girl for him.” The words felt weird on my tongue.
“What do you mean?”
“He should be with some perfect woman whose little is perfect and doesn’t have all this baggage.” I moved my hand in a circle over my head. “He deserves someone who hasn’t been ruined.”
“Hey,” Rayna yelled. I blinked. “Don’t you dare talk about my new bestie like that.” She pointed. “You understand me?”
Rayna sure was bossy.
“Now listen to me.” She leaned in. “You are beautiful and sweet and caring, and Josh would be lucky to have someone like you.”
“You think so?”
“I know so and believe me. You are not what happened to you.” Rayna placed one hand on her chest and raised the other. “You are not what happened to you. Say it with me.”
I raised my hand. “I am NOT what happened to me.”
“Damn right.”
“Rayna.” Kyler’s voice filled the room. “Watch your language.”
She covered her mouth and laughed.
“Are you happy to have your Daddy back?” I rested my chin on my knee.
“I am,” she whispered. “It took him long enough.”
“He’s a good Daddy?” I wasn’t sure why I was asking. Kyler’s intensity was matched by his love for his woman.
“He’s strict and stubborn and controlling and short on patience.” She smiled. “He’s the perfect Daddy for me.”
Rayna had the type of personality that made me want to tell her everything.
“I had a perfect Daddy for me.” I bit my lip to keep from saying too much.
“Was he like Josh?”
“No, he was nothing like Josh.” I grinned. “Although I’m not quite sure I’ve seen Josh in full-on Daddy mode. He’s holding back.”
“You two are still getting to know each other.” Rayna shrugged. “It’s going to take time.”
“That’s what everyone says. It’s going to take time to get over my trauma. It’s going to take time to get over what I lost. It’s going to take time to feel like myself again.” I grunted. “I’m tired of all these things that will take time.”
We both stared off into space.
“I mean, I can’t even talk about it,” I whispered. “Except to my therapist.”
“I know it’s frustrating.” Rayna pouted. “You will.”
“In time,” we said in unison and erupted in another fit of giggles.
“Just know we are all here for you.” Rayna smiled. “And we get to have so much fun while we all deal with our sh-tuff.”
“Thank you, Rayna.”
“For what?” She pushed a hair out of her face.
“For being my little friend.”
Rayna blinked away tears.
“That’s so sweet.” She waved with one finger. I waved back.
“Rayna.” Kyler came back onto the screen and sat next to Rayna on the couch. “Say good night to Tinley. You’ll see her in two days. You need your rest.”
“Okay, Daddy.” Rayna yawned.
“Good night.” I waved.
“Night night, Tinley,” Rayna said.
Kyler waved too.
I shut down the computer screen and sat back on the couch.
A soft knock sounded on the door before it opened.
“Is it safe to come in?” Josh’s gorgeous face peeked around the side of the door.
“Yep.” I sat up. “We just finished up.”
“What did you two talk about?” Josh flopped on the couch next to me.
I gripped his bicep and rested my head on his shoulder.
“Oh, no, I can’t tell you. You’re not a part of our clan.”
“Clan?”
“Yes. Our ninja clan where we keep all the secrets of the world.” I kissed his arm and laid my head back down. “To be honest, I’m not a member yet, either. I have to be initiated.”
“What does this initiation entail?”
“I don’t really know.”
I sat up.
I should have probably asked that question while I had the chance.
I yawned. Josh grabbed my hand.
“Come on.” He stood up. “Let’s get ready for bed. I have a surprise for you.”
I gasped. “A surprise.”
“Yep.” He led me out of the room and down the hall. When we got to the opening, he shielded my eyes.
I pulled at his arm.
“No peeking.” He pushed me farther down the hall.
“I didn’t see.” I looked back over his shoulder.
“PJs first.” He pointed toward the end of the hall. I pouted but headed off to change and get ready for bed.
I quickly washed my face and brushed out my hair.
I stepped into my room and found a onesie on the bed.
It had little clusters of brown and white puppies all over it.
I picked it up and rubbed the fabric against my cheek and smiled.
I yanked off my clothes and put the onesie on.
It had a drop seat with a zipper. I couldn’t reach it.
I’d have to keep my backside away from Josh. Didn’t want him to get any ideas.
I slid into my slippers and headed back to the living room to find my surprise.
I skidded to a stop in the hallway, but it was empty. “Joshie,” I called, but no answer.
Music traveled from the back of the house near the pool. I ran to the door but stopped. A white parka with a fur collar and cuffs lay across the back of the couch with a sign.
Put me on.
I giggled and pulled the jacket on and snapped it closed, then I made my way outside.
The temperature had dropped in the last couple of weeks.
On the stone, a trail of bright orange, brown, and yellow leaves made from paper were sprinkled along the path.
I followed the trail around the side of the guest house out to an open field.
An inflatable screen was secured to the ground, and a stack of pillows and blankets was arranged in a nest in front of the screen. Josh stood in the back, tapping on an iPad. I clapped my hands and squealed.
“Surprise,” Josh yelled.
I squealed again and I was not a squealing kind of girl. The blankets and pillows looked so inviting.
“What are we watching?”
“You will have to wait and see.” Josh dropped the tablet. “Have a seat and bundle up. I’ll go get the hot chocolate.”
“With extra marshmallows.” I wrung my fingers together.
Josh walked toward me. The gleam in his eyes was new. It made my insides flutter. “I’ll see what I can do.” He kissed me on the forehead and headed toward the house.
I ran, leaped, and landed on my tummy right in the middle of it all. I rolled around, trying to get my feet under me. Josh chuckled at my silliness.
“You need some help.” He laid the tray of hot cocoa and snacks in the center of the blankets.
I managed to situate myself without disturbing anything.
Josh sat with his back to a stack of pillows. I crawled over and squeezed in next to him.
He handed me a hot chocolate with a mountain of marshmallows. He took his own and held it to mine.
“Cheers to” —Josh bit his lip and looked up— “to surprises.”
We clinked our mugs and settled in for the movie.
As soon as the first scene appeared, I knew.
“Dalmatians.” I giggled. “One of my favorites. How did you know?”
“A movie with a bunch of puppies in it.” He squeezed me to his side. “I took an educated guess.”
“Well done.” I looked up at him. He stared into my eyes for a minute. We were stuck. The movie played on, but I couldn’t look away. Everything I had ever wanted was behind those mesmerizing green eyes. I hoped I would have the courage to let him know someday.
He leaned in and brushed his lips across mine and then gestured toward the screen.
We settled back and watched the movie.
For the first time in a long time, I felt normal.