Chapter 9 RULE #8 Don’t make a scene. #3
“No, Roman, please. Cliff, don’t let him leave,” my mother pleads, pulling at my dad’s shirt.
I knew I took it too far. I feel like punching some more. My eyes meet Tillie’s, and I know I fucked up. I bow my head and leave the dining room in shame.
With my head hanging low, I don’t see Noelle sitting on the stairs.
“Hey.” Her voice makes me pause. She rises slowly. “Are you okay?”
When her palm touches my arm, I feel her warmth. A warmth that would be taken away from me at the end of the contract.
“What are you still doing here?” I ask.
She pulls back like I slapped her. “I was waiting to see if you were okay.”
I lift my arms. “I am fucking fine. You can leave now. I am.”
Noelle steps back and wraps her arms around her middle. “I should have known. As soon as it got real, you would run.”
The word “run” ignites something in me. I was done with this fucking day.
“Come on, Noelle. Don’t make this into something that it’s not,” I reply.
She swallows. “What is that supposed to mean?”
A bitter laugh leaves me. “Stop pretending like you care, Noelle. This isn’t real. What we have is not real. You were paid to be here. Paid to act like you give a damn. Paid to fuck.”
The slap makes my face move to the side. “Fuck you, Roman Voss.”
The hurt reflects in her eyes.
Anushka comes to her side and gives me a sad smile. “Roman, Noelle, maybe you both should talk in the morning.”
“I think so too,” Noelle says softly. I can hear the sliver of pain in her voice. I wanted her to bleed like I was.
I hold her chin and look her dead in her eyes. “You’re acting like you matter when you don’t. This was a job; you are a contract, and it has been fulfilled.”
My words make her flinch.
She pulls her face away from me. “You don’t get to hurt me because your family hurt you. Grow the fuck up, and don’t take your issues out on me. I won’t accept it. I hope hurting me made you feel like you are in control again. But the truth is you are not in control; cowards never are.”
With her head held high, she turns and heads out the door with Anushka.
I open my mouth to call her back, to make things right…but I can’t. My throat feels tight.
“Fuck,” I mutter. Why the hell did I say that? I walk down the hall, shuffling my way to the garage. The lights in the garage automatically turn on as I enter. She looked so hurt when she walked away.
“Keys, I need keys,” I say out loud.
“No, you don’t.” Tillie’s voice echoes behind me. “You are slightly drunk. You can’t drive. Come on.”
My legs feel like lead. “Where are we going?”
“Somewhere you can regain your fucking common sense,” Tillie replies as she grabs my hand and leads me out of the house.
NOELLE
Don’t let him see you cry, I say to myself. My fists clench at my side.
“This way,” Anushka says as she guides me by the elbow outside. I welcome the cold air on my face. He hurt me. I can still hear the things he said. The way his voice dropped cold, the way he looked at me in disgust. Anushka moves, and I sit.
I asked him what his goal was with this, and he said he didn’t want Tessa. Yet, he called her his girl and me a slut.
I close my eyes and press my head against the windowpane.
“I’m such an idiot,” I whisper.
I dropped my guard and hoped for something, someone to love me. I thought we had something, but I was wrong. All we had was an illusion of a relationship.
A hot tear rolls down my cheek. It feels so hard to swallow. He is a coward. He saw what he had, and instead of standing with me, he hurt me. He was cruel because he was scared. Scared men lash out, and scared men run.
“I have to call, Lia,” I say. My throat hurts.
“I took care of it already,” Anushka says.
Streetlights pass over my face. I don’t know where we are going. I don’t care. The car stops, and I move like I am in a trance. Anushka’s hand holds on to mine as she takes care of things.
Now I am standing in the middle of a bedroom in a penthouse suite, and I don’t remember how the hell I got here.
“Hey.” Anushka comes in with a T-shirt and a box with some new underwear.
“Where are we?” I ask as I watch her place the stuff on the bed.
“The V Hotel.” Anushka dips into her pocket and takes out my phone. “This is yours.”
I take it from her, and I have a small slice of hope that maybe he texted or called. But there’s nothing. My phone has no messages or missed calls.
Another tear rolls down my cheek, and Anushka comes and holds me. Her simple touch makes me crumble, and the tears that I have been holding back crash down on me.
After a while, Anushka and I sit on the ground with our backs leaning on the side of the bed.
“Everything hurts,” I whisper.
“It would. But it will pass,” Anushka whispers.
The window is open, and the lights from the Charleswood Christmas tree glitter in gold.
“I should be angry, but I am more disappointed in myself, you know?” I wipe my face. “All he chooses are self-preservation and money.”
“Give it time, hun. Tomorrow is another day.” Anushka rises and fixes her dress.
I nod. “Yes.”
“I spoke to someone at the house. We will have your stuff in the morning. Then you and I can road trip back to the city.”
I smile. “Thank you so much, Anushka.”
“We girls got to stick together. Good night.”
I close my eyes and sigh. “Get it together, Noelle. You can survive this.”
I can survive Roman Voss. I wipe my last tear from under my chin. Holding onto the bed, I stand. That will be the last tear I cry over Roman.
For the first time in weeks, I feel so alone. No Roman, no fake fiancé. I really allowed him to invade my heart and colonize it.
The bedroom door is huge, and it stares at me. Part of me hopes that Roman walks through, saying that he is sorry and wanting to explain.
But that’s not happening. He is not coming. I chuckle to myself. Despite all of this, a small traitorous part of my heart wants Roman, loves Roman. But loving Roman Voss hurts, and I refuse to live in that pain.