21. Zach
Chapter 21
Zach
“This isn’t working is it?” Apollo says as soon as I get within earshot. “Why isn’t it working, Zach?” He was pacing, thumbs hooked into his belt, but as soon as I’m in the crypt’s sunken center, he sinks into a chair and starts jiggling his leg.
He’s not the only agitated one. Reuben is perched on the edge of his seat, meaty hands clasped and dangling between his legs. Cassius is smoking a blunt, but with an intensity that belies his slouched body and deadpan expression.
“I don’t know,” I mutter. I snatch the blunt from Cass’s fingertips just as he’s about to take a drag, and give it a hefty tug. “But she’s fucking testing my patience.”
Apollo snorts.
Between the four of us, I’m the rock. It takes a shit load to piss me off or deter me. Weather-beaten, but still standing.
Because, long before the Brotherhood, there was only me.
Then came Apollo. Then came Reuben. Then came Cassius.
Even back then, we had no notion of revenge. For us it was all about survival. Every day was a silent victory.
Every hour.
Every fucking second.
This girl is getting under my skin. Anyone in her position would have been out that door in ten seconds flat.
“She’s a fucking masochist, that’s what she is,” Cass says. “But you were right. She didn’t say a word about me to anyone.” He sits forward, imitating Reuben. “She didn’t, right?”
“Not to me.” I shake my head and take another drag. Then I have to smile, because it’s fucking rare either of us gets the chance. “That drawing though…”
Cassius’s face lights up with a grin. He leans across and taps Apollo’s chest with the back of his hand. “Bro, you should have seen it.”
Apollo looks up at me. “You still got it, right?”
I nod. “Some of Cass’s best work.” I study the blunt between my fingers. “She’s stronger than we thought. Braver. We might have to change tactics.”
I take a last hit of the joint. It’s almost down to the filter, but I offer it to Rube like I always do. I’m already retracting my hand on automatic when he takes it from me.
Apollo’s jiggling leg freezes. Cassius turns to stare.
Reuben studies the joint, and then eviscerates the last quarter-inch of weed. I almost dart forward and retrieve it before he inhales the fucking filter too.
He drops it to the floor and crushes it out under a massive shoe.
When he exhales, Cassius and Apollo disappear behind the smoke cloud.
“She’s not brave, she’s just stubborn,” Reuben says. He shifts in his seat before glancing hesitantly in my direction.
“What do you mean?”
“I know you said I shouldn’t go near her?—”
I’m on my feet in a second. “What did you do?”
“Nothing.” Reuben spreads his hands. “She came to me.”
“What? Why?” Apollo demands.
“Doesn’t matter,” Rube tells Apollo before turning back to me. “I didn’t do anything. I just…prayed with her.”
“Rube…” My voice is dangerously low. “What did you say to her?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing. But I saw she was more scared of me than Sister Miriam.”
“If she’s so scared, then why hasn’t she ratted us out?” Cass demands. “I mean, all she has to do?—”
“Shame. Denial. Fear of the consequences. I could go on.” I take my seat, sitting back and spreading my legs. This isn’t comfort, but when the four of us are together it’s like I’ve come home after a long day. These brief meetings in the crypt are our versions of Sunday lunch.
Out there, we’re just a bunch of kids.
In here, we’re motherfucking assassins.
Unfortunately, Trinity Malone only sees us as we are outside these walls.
“Textbook behavior,” I add.
Every eyebrow twitches at this—even Reuben’s.
“So what do we do? The girl’s not budging,” Apollo mutters, sitting back and crossing his arms over his chest.
“That’s just it…” I swing my leg up, resting my ankle over my knee. “We’ve been treating her like a girl. Like a delicate piece of glass we don’t dare break.”
Cassius chuckles. “I can break her for?—”
“Cass!”
His eyes flick up to mine. “What? She suddenly so fucking special or something?”
“That’s a bit hypocritical, don’t you think?” I ask, tilting my head. We’ve been down this path of reason before—Cassius always ends up in the fucking bushes.
“She’s a slut anyway,” Cassius says.
I don’t even bother looking at him.
We’ve all got twisted world views. But we also have an excuse. We never got to see the world as other kids did. Our crayon drawings didn’t have rainbows and stick-figure family portraits. Ours—if we’d ever had any—would have been black and red landscapes crosshatched with repressed pain.
Cassius thinks everyone’s a closet slut, and would fuck anything that moves if I didn’t reign him in.
Apollo is a full out voyeur. He’d rather film someone masturbating than actually have sex with them.
Reuben will probably die a virgin. Kind of.
Me? It’s best if I became a priest and swore celibacy for the rest of my life. Because unlike my brothers, there’s only one thing that actually brings me joy.
They’d crucify me in a heartbeat if they ever found out what it was.
“She’ll break,” I say, shifting in my seat.
Reuben’s staring at me so hard it’s like he’s digging through my brain with his fingers. If anyone’s got me figured out even a little, it’s him. But I’m hoping—dear God, I’m hoping—he knows better than to say anything.
Apollo sighs. “I guess if we keep pulling her hair long enough, she might?—”
“I’ll send her to the Hag,” I cut in. My eyes cut to Cassius. “That okay with you?”
Cassius shows me his teeth. “Pics or it didn’t happen.”
“Why would I be there?” I ask calmly.
“You could be, if you wanted.” Reuben cuts me off. “She’s a girl. Wouldn’t be appropriate for you to punish her yourself.”
Cassius is already nodding furiously before Reuben’s done talking. “But he can watch, to make sure she receives her penance, right?”
Reuben nods.
I swallow. Hard.
This was exactly what I’d been trying to avoid.
From the first day I’d had Trinity in my class, I could tell she wasn’t brittle like the countless other children who’d crossed my path the last few years.
I knew this would come to outright violence. The kind of pain and hardship people rocked in the Old Testament.
And, secretly, I’d hoped the girl would meet my expectations. Because, besides this bunch of misfits, I’ve never met someone I could truly regard as my equal.
She’s looking to be a strong contender.
It will be a pity to break her.
“Bro, I want details,” Cass says through a devilish chuckle. “I mean, blow by fucking blow.” He sits forward, eyes shining. “Hear me?”
Cassius isn’t a sadist.
He is, however, sitting on the fence between sociopath and psychopath.
I nod, and drop my eyes as I get to my feet. “I’ll make the arrangements.”
Cass lets out a laugh, clasping hands with Apollo.
Reuben watches me, silent and forever judgmental.
I guess I’m being naive thinking he doesn’t have some inkling about my own dark heart. He was by my side for months before the others showed up. We’re all brothers, but he’s my twin. We mirror each other’s darkness in different ways, but we emerged—reborn—together.