25. Nim
Chapter 25
Nim
“Do you have any accounting study guides?” I ask Ms. Carling as I hand her back the computer room’s key. The librarian nods absently as she hangs the key behind her desk, then points to the back of the library. The stacks there are at least three yards high.
“There’s a whole study guide section over there. Shout if you don’t find what you’re looking for.” Ms. Carling’s smile fades when I can’t muster more than a faint curl of my lips. “Is everything alright, dear?”
“Just stressing because I’m behind on my classes.”
Ms. Carling gives me a sympathetic look. “If the guides don’t help, I can recommend several students who could tutor you.”
“Oh...uh...” My cheeks start warming up. “I don’t really have money to?—”
Ms. Carling waves away what I was going to say. “They’re not allowed to charge while they’re on University grounds. They do it for the extra credits.”
“That might not be a bad idea,” I tell her, my smile a little wider this time.
“Tell you what.” Ms. Carling grabs a notepad and starts hunting around on her desk for a pen. “You go browse, and when you come back this way, I’ll have some names for you.”
“That’s so nice of you.” The librarian’s kind gesture puts a lump in my throat.
I quickly head for the distant study guide stacks in case I can’t hold back tears. I guess the Academy might have been an awesome place to go to school if I wasn’t being tormented by a bunch of psychopaths. No wonder my parents wanted me to study here. I’m sure they had a blast.
Oh god, why did I have to think about my parents?
Pushing aside my dismal thoughts, I slip behind the stacks and start browsing through the shelves.
It’s peaceful back here, surrounded by all these musty books. I should spend more time here. I could study at one of the tables in the middle of the library, in sight of Ms. Carling. I doubt the Serpents could do nasty things to me in here.
I pull out an accounting guide and skim the back, fumbling it when my phone rings loudly in my blazer pocket. God, I thought I had it on vibrate. I tuck the book under my arm and quickly silence my phone, then stare at the caller ID.
Peggy.
I know I shouldn’t be tempting fate but I’m far away from Ms. Carling and there aren’t any other students in the library, so I take the call.
“Hey,” I answer in a low voice.
“Why are you whispering?” Peggy says. “Are you in a library or something?”
“Yeah, actually.”
“What?” Peggy laughs. “Seriously?”
“Well, yeah.” I laugh too, but quietly. “It’s so good to hear your voice.”
“I thought you were dead,” Peggy says. “I’ve been trying to get hold of you the whole week. Your phone was just off the whole time.”
“No it wasn’t?” I quickly check my phone’s signal. It has one bar. “Wow, I didn’t even realize there’s such a bad signal in this place.”
“Is this school in a tunnel or something?”
I laugh again, covering my mouth with a hand. “Might as well be. So how are things? How’s the club? How’s Jackson ?”
As Peggy starts blabbering on, I put the study guide on top of some biology books before sitting cross-legged with my back against the shelf. It sounds like Peggy’s doing fine without me, not that I’m that surprised. We met two years ago at school, and she’s always so indestructible.
“But what about you? How’s university treating you?”
“Ugh.” I hang my head. “Peggy, it’s horrible.”
“Why? You were so looking forward to going.”That’s a bit of an exaggeration, but maybe she mistook my uneasiness for excitement.
“It’s just…” I sigh and lean my head back against the books. “It’s not what I was expecting. The only person who’s been nice to me is my roommate.”
“Wow, that sucks. I guess it’s ’cos you’re new?”
“Apparently,” I mumble.“So, has he asked you out yet?”
“ Pfft , what century are you from? People don’t ask each other out anymore. Have we sucked face? Yeah. Has there been action past second base...” Peggy giggles. “Maybe. But you know I don’t grope and tell.”
“I’m glad you two finally hooked up.”
“And you?” I can hear the smile in Peggy’s voice. “Don’t tell me there aren’t some cuties over there. I’m sure once you’ve picked the hay out of their hair, they might even be worth hooking up with.”
“Most of the guys here look like they’ve just walked off the page of a fitness magazine.”
“Mmm...tell me more.”
“You’re such a ho,” I say through a laugh. “What will Jackson say?”
“So it’s okay for him to flirt with the other waitresses, but I have to go through life with blinders on?”
“Oh God, I’m so glad you called,” I murmur, closing my eyes and inhaling the scent of old books and dusty shelves. “I was losing my fucking mind.”
“Nim...if you’re not happy, why don’t you just come back? We all miss you, even Mr. Black.”
I laugh quietly. “You might be seeing me sooner than you expected.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well...I’m kinda suspended at the moment.”
“You’re...what?” Peggy laughs, but the sound turns uneasy when I don’t join in. “You’re joking, right?”
“I wish. Let’s just say a certain bunch of jerks really have it out for me, and one of them’s the Student Body President.”
“That’s so shitty.”
“Yeah, it really is.”
“Oh, shit, before I forget, your Uncle Quinton called the club looking for you. He said he’s been trying to reach you since yesterday.”
I sit forward. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m not a snoop like you,” Peggy says through a laugh. “He just asked me to pass on the message if I got hold of you.”
“Okay. Let me call him.”
“Hey...you sure you’re okay?” Peggy doesn’t like talking about serious things. She’d prefer to live as if life was one continuous party. It says a lot that she’d step out of her comfort zone to get real about the shit I’m going through.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. And, if I’m not...then I guess you’ll have to endure me snoring on your couch again.”
“Mi sofà, tu sofà,” she says dramatically. “But seriously, any time Nim. You know that.”
“Thanks, Peggy.”
“I have to go, but you’ll promise to keep me updated?”
“Yup.” I sound more cheerful than I feel as I end the call. I let out a long breath before dialing Quinton. I should probably leave the library, but if Ms. Carling hasn’t come to crap me out yet, then I doubt she can even hear me back here. Plus, why would I want to venture out into the land of bullies when I could stay here and be safe?
“Hi, Uncle,” I say as soon as Quinton answers. “My friend says you were looking for me.”
“Nim, thank you for calling,” he sounds relieved, which makes me uneasy. “I got worried when you didn’t return my voice mails.”
“The signal’s really bad here. I didn’t even know you called.”
“But you’re sure you’re fine? Because when I called the administration office yesterday to see if I could get a message sent to you, they informed me that you’d been suspended.”
“Oh. That.” I let out a choppy sigh. “No, Uncle, it’s...it’s not as bad as it sounds. I was out of uniform.”
“So they suspend you? Surely that can’t?—”
“I’m fighting it in my own way, don’t worry.”
“Well I hope you get it sorted out because, Nim, I’m afraid I have bad news.”
My chest goes so tight, I couldn’t have said anything if I’d tried.
“It’s about the insurance payout. I’m afraid...well...there’s been a setback.”
“Mm?” It’s about all I can articulate.
“The Insurer completed their investigation on Wednesday. They’ve...they’ve repudiated the claim.”
“Why?”
“The autopsy report showed that your parents’ blood alcohol level was over the legal limit at the time of the accident.”
“So what, they’re not going to pay?” My voice is shrill, and I clap a hand over my mouth to silence myself.
“I’m fighting it. Even if the driver was intoxicated, that shouldn’t affect the passenger’s claim. Also, in my mind, their deaths weren’t the result of their intoxication. That rockslide would have—it’s a bit technical, but I want you to know that I’m top of it.”
A bright, feral anger bubbles up inside me. “So I’m still broke?” I ask Quinton. “Even if I wanted to leave the Academy, I couldn’t afford to?”
“I would highly recommend you stay there as long as you can. You have a chance at starting a career. With the right attitude?—”
“I have to go,” I cut in, a tide of emotions threatening to bowl me over.
“Nim, I know this is hard?—”
“No, Quinton,” I snap. “What’s hard is being forced to stay in this shit hole because my parents died and left me in so much debt, I’ll be paying it off for the next ten years.” I drag in a deep breath, and let it out in a rush.
“I’m doing everything I can to help. Just hang in there, okay? You have a roof over your head, and you’re making a positive change in your life. That’s all any of us can ask for. I’ll contact you in a few days with an update.”
“Thanks.” I quickly end the call before I can yell at him. It’s not in the least his fault but it feels like a dam inside me has burst.I throw my phone onto the carpet and slap my hands over my face, my fingers digging into my scalp.
Why can’t something just go right for once in my fucking life?
I wish my parents had never come to Cinderhart. No...I wish Vicky had never invited them! I hate her, and I hate this fucking town, and I hate everything and everyone...myself included.
Because I could have stopped them that night.
If I hadn’t been such a fucking coward, if I’d told them what had happened in the woods, we’d have been at the police station that night.
No rockslide.
No dead parents.
That’s when the tears finally come. Three odd months’ worth of emotions slam into me like...ha...like a fucking rockslide.
And I’m as powerless to prevent them as my parents had been.