31. Harper
Chapter 31
Harper
I don’t go to school on Monday. Mom tells me she’s worried about me, that I have to go to the doctor if I keep getting the runs for no reason. Maybe I have a parasite, she says, or I’ve developed IBS. But I tell her I’ll be fine, that I have a ton of studying to do anyway, that I have gym today so that’s already a wasted period I could be utilizing much better. How I manage to get out “utilizing” without giggling or slurring I don’t know. I guess because I’m already hungover, even though I haven’t gone to sleep yet.If she does notice anything when she bends down to kiss the top of my head, she doesn’t say anything.
I resent her for that. How could a mother not know her daughter is hungover?
When the house falls quiet, I know Jude’s coming. A minute later, my bedroom door opens.
He stands in the doorway, but all he does is stare, so I turn my fucking back on him. Of course he knows I took the bait. I don’t care what he’s going to do about it, especially if he’s going to turn it into a fucking drama.
But the weird thing is that he doesn’t do anything. He doesn’t come inside my room, he doesn’t say a word. He just watches me for a few minutes and then pulls the door closed. I hear his car, then there’s just quiet.
Beautiful silence.
Finally, I pass out. Finally, my brain stops inundating me with what-ifs. Finally, I’m at peace with myself.
But, again, it’s an aberration that only lasts long enough to give me hope before my world is thrown into chaos.