CHAPTER SIXTEEN #2
“Can I finish getting a glass for my water, please?” Magnolia interrupts, closing the fridge.
Ice pours over me at her interruption and I push Reid away. “Um, I was just going to bed.”
She arches an eyebrow as she grabs a glass. “Seems to me you were going to be here a while.”
I jump down to the floor, barely glancing at Reid as I die inside of mortification. “Goodnight, Reid. Night, Magnolia.”
I race out of the kitchen, not stopping until I am in my room.
What had I been thinking?
He will only hurt me again. That’s how much power he has over me.
Our encounter was brief the first night we met.
It is barely a blip in time to most people.
Yet it held so much significance to me. It had been colossal, monumental, and that blip of time had been so transformative to me.
I had begun to question my judgement, lead with my head and not my heart after him.
It also taught me that despite all the hurt I felt afterwards, it had been one of the greatest nights of my life.
No one had ever captured my attention like he did before or after him.
No one has ever made me feel as good as he could.
I’ve never felt a connection like the one I feel with him.
I did not settle after him. I knew my worth.
He did hurt me. He humiliated me, whether intentional or not, and I can’t risk that again.
Can I?
I slowly close the door to my room and take a few steadying breaths.
I tap my heated cheeks. “What am I doing?” I whisper to myself.
I got caught like a rebellious teenager by my cousin. In the kitchen. Where people eat.
My breath hitches when someone gently taps their knuckles against my door. “It’s me.”
I relax at Magnolia’s soft voice and dash over to the door to pull it open.
I drag her inside, closing it softly behind her.
“I am so sorry. I don’t know what came over me down there.
Well, I know what came over me. I just don’t know why I let him get to me.
I’m so sorry you had to witness that,” I rush out in one breath before finally taking one in.
A thought occurs to me. “Why did it take you that long to make your presence known?”
She pushes her glasses up her nose. “To be honest, I wouldn’t have said anything. I mean, Mercedes got a drink and neither of you broke apart so I carried on with my business.”
I look heavenward. This is even worse. Not only did I not hear Mags, I didn’t hear Mercedes either. “How did I not notice?”
“I think you were occupied by a tall, dark, tattooed specimen of a man. Rightly so.”
“This isn’t me. I’m not this girl.”
“You mean the one who lets her hair down, gets a few orgasms and chills the fuck out after a long, stressful day?”
For a minute, I forget what we are talking about because my mind drifts back to earlier this morning. “Fucking hell, did that really happen today?”
She chuckles, rubbing the side of my arm. “It’s okay to want something good.”
I arch an eyebrow. “There is nothing good about fucking Reid Hayes.”
Well... almost nothing.
“I don’t know; I saw the bulge in those jeans when you walked out. Pretty sure he knows what he’s doing too, and I love that for you.”
I have to tell her. Or tell someone about what happened between us. Maybe then they would understand this isn’t about not wanting to let my hair down. Yet Freya comes to mind, and I know she needs to be the first person I talk to about this.
Still... “What if that someone did something shitty that was only kind of his fault?” I ask. “Would you give him a chance to do another shitty thing?”
“I would still say fuck it. Live a little. I don’t want to be the cliché chick, but people can change.
I get wanting to give multiple guys a chance rather than giving one guy multiple chances.
I do. Two chances is not a bad thing. It’s not like you are stuck with him for the rest of your life,” she assures me, but then takes one look at my face.
“Unless that’s what you need from him. I mean, each to their own.
I just don’t think you need to be picky when it comes to someone who clearly knows what they’re doing. I’m team orgasms.”
“Firstly, how do you know he knows what he’s doing?” I question, even though I know she isn’t wrong. “Secondly, I’m pretty sure you stopped dating a guy because he didn’t know his way around a computer.”
“Firstly,” she remarks tartly. “I’m good at sussing people out. He’s too confident not to be good at fucking. Secondly, it was way worse than him not knowing his way around a computer; he didn’t know how to play Call of Duty, and that fucker ruined my perfect score by playing on my account.”
I rear back at the anger in her tone. “Okay, calm down, woman.”
She straightens her top. “Are you going to go down there and fuck his brains out?”
My eyes widen. “No, I’m not.”
“You really should. The bulge was really big.”
I narrow my eyes on her and start guiding her out of the room. “I think the heat and the alcohol have gone to your head.”
“I’m perfectly fine,” she promises me. “I can do this pep talk all night, but I would hate you for letting me when you could be doing something more enjoyable.”
I fight hard not to laugh when I get her in the hallway. “Goodnight, Magnolia.”
Her shoulders drop. “Fine. Be that way. But don’t come crying to me when you’re all moody and shit tomorrow. You have the perfect solution downstairs.”
I chuckle. “Goodnight.”
I close the door, smiling wide when I hear her muttering about chasing the orgasm.
If only she knew. Reid might be the guy you take home for a good time for some girls, but what I feel, what I thought we shared, goes beyond that. I can’t separate the two. I don’t know how. Not with him anyway.
Just like I don’t know how to hold myself back. It had been easier when I hated him. But now I know that night wasn’t as simple as him leaving with another girl. There are more cards in play.
And it’s a game I don’t want a repeat of.