CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Reid
In the midst of drowning in fear for my brother, this beautiful woman has the strength to pull me out, or out enough that I don’t get lost in a sea of grief.
That’s twice tonight. Twice she has pulled me out of my mind, where I have relived one of my worst nightmares over and over again. Twice she soothed something inside of me that I didn’t realise had been simmering on the edge of exploding. I wanted the world to burn down until I felt her touch.
The first time, I had been lost in my own mind, imagining a life without my brother, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t see a future where life would get better.
I couldn’t see a way to move on, or forward.
People tell you it gets easier when you lose someone, that it will hurt less and less as time passes on.
Yet I couldn’t even conjure up a fake scenario where it would be okay.
Because nothing would ever be okay. Not if we lost him.
Then the memories of our lives as triplets hit me.
I remembered the first time a kid tried to bully one of us and we went at them together.
I remembered the first time we snuck out and got drunk, and the story Isaac told us about him having sex for the first time.
Everything I could remember, things I had long forgotten, came flooding back in waves.
It had been those last moments at the abandoned hospital that had hit me the hardest. I kept hearing the pain in his voice when he asked if it hurt me too.
My eyes stung as I relived the moment of them rushing him through the double doors, the doctors yelling orders whilst he lay unconscious on the stretcher they rolled him in on.
I felt like I was dying in those memories.
They were slowly killing me, the sorrow and helplessness pulling me down.
Until Summer. Until I heard her whisper my name and I could feel her gaze on the side of my face.
It broke me out of my haze. I thought I had conjured her up in my head, just like the memories of my brother.
It wasn’t until she slid her hand down my arm and then took my wrist as she stood in front of me that I realised it wasn’t my imagination.
This beautiful, kind, funny woman was really standing in front of me. She came to the hospital. For me.
I don’t deserve her.
Not this morning. Not in the hallway, where she comforted me and my brother. Not when she pleaded with a nurse to treat my hand here in the waiting room. And definitely not now, where she stays close, keeping me grounded.
I turn to her and get lost in the pale depths of her blue eyes, feeling the warmth, strength and love that reflect back at me.
Her eyes are always so expressive.
I’ve never had anyone look at me like this. I’ve seen desire, lust, obsession, anger, frustration et cetera, staring back at me, but never this. Never with warmth. Never with more.
That word. More. So simple, yet it holds so much meaning and promise.
And it all started with this chick.
Fuck, she’s beautiful.
I open my mouth to tell her that I—
“Isaac Hayes’ family?”
A man with reddish-brown hair takes a step into the waiting area, wearing dark green scrubs.
Everyone is out of their seat, including me. I’m still clutching Summer’s hand, and thankfully she follows instead of letting go.
I don’t think I could take the steps that I do without her support.
The doctor’s eyes widen as he takes a look around at the waiting room, and at each person who rose to their feet. It’s not just us. There are a lot of the Carters in attendance, many of whom I didn’t realise had come. “All of you?”
“Yes. These are his siblings and family. I am his mother, Liza. Please, tell me my son is okay,” Mum pleads.
“I am your son’s surgeon, Doctor Marsh. As you are aware, Mr Hayes was brought in with serious injuries.”
“Isaac. His name is Isaac,” I specify. Mr Hayes seems too impersonal. It makes him sound like a patient on a check list. I hate it. He is someone’s son, brother, friend.
The doctor nods in understanding. “Isaac was brought in with serious injuries. The object penetrated his flesh through and through. The injury caused an uneasy amount of blood loss, and he was unconscious when he arrived. He has now since had a rapid infusion of fluids and blood. His vitals have stayed steadily just below normal, which is good news. He was taken straight to surgery, where we assessed and then safely removed the object. Your son is very lucky, Mrs Hayes. The object managed to miss anything vital. Another few centimetres to the right and he would have punctured his small intestines.”
“He’s okay?” Mum breathes. “He’s really okay?”
“Like with all traumas, there is always a risk of unknown complications. But I am optimistic that Mr Hayes will make a full recovery. As I said, he is very lucky.”
“He’s okay,” Luke whispers.
“He’s okay,” I repeat, sagging against him.
Mum sniffles, letting Jaxon wrap her in his arms as she addresses the doctor. “My sons, his twins, can they please go see him?”
My eyes widen at Mum. “Us?”
She forces a smile then moves closer, taking one of our hands in hers. “As much as I would love to rush up there first, I think you both need it more than me. After what I have witnessed today, I am sure Isaac will need it just as much.”
I glance at the doctor, hope filling my chest. “Can we?”
“Yes, only two at a time. It will have to be quick visits if you all want to go in,” he murmurs, glancing around. “Isaac needs his rest.”
“Where?” Luke demands softly. “Where do we go?”
“Follow me,” he answers, but then quickly glances at Mum. “If you have any questions, please have a nurse call me and I will come down and answer them for you.”
I stare at the hand still entwined with Summer’s. I can’t let go.
I glance up to find her watching me. Tears slip down her cheeks as she gives me a relieved smile. “Go!”
“I...”
I can’t let go.
Oh fuck.
I need her. I’m fucking gone for her because I’ve never needed anyone. Not like this. I am too fucking afraid to let go, to lose the sense of comfort she has given me.
My eyes meet the doctor’s. “Can she... can she come with?”
He shifts on his feet. “We can’t allow more than two people in the room as Isaac is in an intensive care unit.”
Summer’s other hand rests on our joint hands. “Hey, why don’t I walk up with you, and I will wait outside until they kick you out of the room?”
I hate how vulnerable and weak I feel right now. Still, I ask, “You won’t leave?”
Another tear slips down her cheek as she sucks her lower lip into her mouth. She slowly shakes her head before clearing her throat. “I promise. I will wait for you.”
“Is that okay?” I ask the doc.
Sympathy fills his eyes as he nods, so I jerk my chin up and let him lead the way, hoping like hell my brother is still my brother.
I don’t want my last memory of him to be him in pain. I heard the doctor, I understood it, but I just keep seeing the blood, hearing his shaky breaths as he tried to keep it together instead of breaking down.
This feels like a dream, as if my hope has manifested him being okay. I can feel the throbbing in my hand, so I know I’m not dreaming. Still, I have to see him for myself.
“Will he be awake?” Luke asks as we get off the lift.
“It depends. He is on heavy pain medication. He was coming to when I left him earlier.”
My head snaps up. “Earlier?”
The doctor nods. “Yes.”
“Are you saying you could have put us out of our misery earlier?” Luke bites out.
“Did a nurse not come and tell you that I would be down to talk with you?”
Summer clears her throat. “Yes. She did. She explained the surgery went well but that’s it.”
The doctor, whose name I’ve already forgotten, let’s out a breath, stopping at the nurse’s station.
Anger is rolling off both Luke and I. It’s pulsing to the point I don’t know which one of us will lash out first. “Okay, I know this is upsetting, but please look at it this way. If your brother had been brought in second, would you be okay with me talking to the family of the first patient, or would you want me to help your brother?”
I glare at him and the sense he’s spewing. “Now I feel like a prick.”
He smiles. “Don’t. It’s fine. You have a family member you are worried about.”
“Sorry.” Luke grimaces, unable to meet the doctor’s eyes.
“Now, Isaac will be in a lot of pain despite the medication he’s on. He probably won’t even remember you being here or what has happened, so be patient. Please try not to panic him or make him laugh.” Both Luke and I nod. “He is in room b. You have ten minutes. He needs rest.”
Summer lets go. “I’ll wait here.”
I brush the back of my knuckles down her cheek. “Thank you. Thank you for being here. For... just thank you.”
“Go see your brother. Tell him I said I hope he gets better soon.”
“I will,” I assure her, then lean down, pressing my lips to hers before following my brother.
Walking into the hospital room, I knew what I would see, yet the first sight of him laying in that bed, looking so small and vulnerable, really takes me aback.
It hits me how close we were to losing him.
Fuck, during the agonizing wait, I thought we did.
It felt like we did. The hope had nearly suffocated me, yet I clung to it, praying he would be okay.
“Hey,” Luke gently greets, placing his hand on Isaac’s knee.
Groggily, Isaac reaches up, pulling the mask over his face off. “D-did you...” He clenches his eyes shut. “P-please tell me we got him.”
My throat tightens as my head hangs. “I don’t give a fuck about Black right now. Neither should you.”
“I— I didn’t think I w-would see you two again,” he sluggishly states.
“We don’t want to be twins,” Luke declares jokingly, but I can hear the clogged fear in his throat and how badly he is trying to keep it together.
“Don’t ever do that again,” I plead.