Chapter 6 On Guard #4
Clara hesitated, a clear war raging on behind her wide, distrusting eyes.
Finally, her stiff posture softened, and she extricated her hand before returning it to her lap.
“Forgive me, Philip,” she murmured. “Although I may not actively show it, I, too, wish for us to become friends… I imagine it must be Lottie’s greatest wish.
” Wincing, she continued, “However, surely you can understand my reservations? There have been so many peculiarities as of late, and I cannot wrap my head around them. With the very world in a state of unrest, I am finding it difficult to trust anyone. And your attack…it’s so strange to me.
As much as we joked about it last night, there really is no good reason for someone to accost you. ”
“I agree,” Benjamin replied. “The world’s a lonesome, terrifying place right now, but that doesn’t mean we have to completely shut down our hearts.
” Rolling his lips inward, he explained, “The ruffian wanted my money. Once he realized I only had a few shillings to spare, he stabbed me and shoved me off the wharf. Fortunately, he didn’t stay to see if he’d finished the job.
I imagine a similar fate befell Mr. Stewart. ”
“Oh, Philip…” A swell of emotion formed in Clara’s throat, and she drew a hand to her breast. “I am so sorry. I feel dreadful for assuming the worst, especially since you’ve been…
y-you…” Lips opening and closing, she amended, “You are a member of this family now, and as such, I never should’ve doubted your intentions. I’m glad you’re all right.”
Relief washed over Benjamin. So much so that he ribbed, “Truly? Would you have lost your favorite person to mock, had I died?”
Clara appeared startled by his response, but laughed.
“You know, I think I much preferred you before the unveiling of your true personality.” To Benjamin’s surprise, she lifted a hand and touched his cheek, her thumb worrying over the spot he’d cut while shaving.
“Please try and be more careful. As pleased as I am with my stitchwork, I don’t wish to become your full-time nurse. ”
Benjamin gaped at her in stunned silence, instantly transporting back to when she’d toppled into his arms. Despite his ability to think, maneuver, and outwit in moments of dire circumstance, he’d been rendered helpless by the unexpected contact.
It hadn’t been romantic—no, no, she’d merely fallen—but for Benjamin, she was the first woman to witness him in a state of undress…
the first woman to touch him beyond a dutiful press of the hand.
He’d naturally experienced the glowing, fluttery rapture of attraction growing up, but after going off to school, he’d been far too shy to mingle with women.
The fairer sex was always Daniel’s forte, not his own. And Clara…
He swallowed. Despite her flirtations, Benjamin needed to stop thinking of her as his first anything. It was dangerous, unfathomable territory. But her hand—God, her hand was still on his face, and he had told Amos he’d glean a bodice pin, and since flattery was always a wise course of action…
Here goes nothing.
Taking Clara’s wrist, Benjamin drew her hand from his cheek and kissed her palm.
Despite his nerves, it was a perfunctory, easy gesture, and he ignored the slight flip in his stomach when they locked eyes.
“I never thanked you properly,” he murmured.
“Despite the pain from your stitchwork, I only needed the whiskey once.”
Clara flinched, clearly not having expected such bold-faced affection, if it could be considered as such. Slowly, an uncharacteristic pink flooded her cheeks and she scoffed. “I recall needing the whiskey far more,” she muttered.
“What are you reading?”
Confused by the change in subject, Clara promptly withdrew her hand. “I’m reading The Odyssey,” she said. “You interrupted the tale last night—rather rudely, might I add—so naturally, I was in no mood to read afterwards.”
“I apologize,” Benjamin said. “From the sound of things, I am ruining quite a bit.”
“Yes,” Clara agreed, sparing him a meaningful glance, “you most certainly are.” Exhaling, she asked, “And how is your wound? You seem to be getting about well enough.”
“Thanks to you,” Benjamin replied, nodding. “In fact, I feel better than before I was stabbed.”
“Oh, don’t be ridiculous!” She laughed, lifting a hand to hide her smile. “Are you implying medicine is my calling?”
“You have a bit of a poor bedside manner,” Benjamin observed, “but I’ve certainly had worse…even if that ‘worse’ was a literal dog.”
Clara suppressed another laugh, both delighted and perplexed. “Now that sounds like a story worth hearing.”
“Perhaps someday,” he agreed. “Unfortunately, I’m far better at overseeing ship production than telling stories.” Rising from the settee, he announced, “I must be off. I promised your father I’d visit a client with him later today, so I’d like to prepare myself.”
“Poor you,” Clara teased, smiling. “I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone.” Lowering her eyes, she added, “I would like to apologize for my behavior, Philip. I was unnerved, scared for my family, and it was wrong of me to blame you when you, yourself were injured.”
Benjamin hesitated at her clear remorse, his gaze softening. “You weren’t wrong to blame me,” he said. “We have only just met, so your hesitance was merited. Truth be told, I’m impressed by your initiative. You have far more intelligence than you’re given credit.”
“Indeed?” Clara wrinkled her nose at him, amused. “You must really want something, given the needless flattery…”
Benjamin’s smile turned melancholy. “No,” he assured her, “it was just an observation.” God must never grant me what I want. “Good day to you, Clara.”
He bowed, then left before she could further ensnare him with her befuddling thrall.
With his upcoming meeting scheduled for later that afternoon, Benjamin decided to reinvestigate Jedediah’s office.
Deborah and her daughters were presently in the sitting room—one of the servant girls was singing for their entertainment—so he had a bit of time to spare.
Although he still didn’t have a pin for unlocking, he did have a small leatherbound journal to take notes.
Limbs jittery and heart pounding, Benjamin slipped undetected into the large office.
Making certain the coast was clear, Benjamin found the room empty and quickly opened the left-hand desk drawer. The ledger sat there undisturbed. With a relieved exhale, he retrieved the book and placed it upon the desk, then quickly set to work on transcribing the names into his journal.
Copying the shorthand notes left in the margins by each name, Benjamin was so immersed that he didn’t realize someone was coming until it was too late.
He heard the footsteps first, the heavy, unhurried tread of the elite, and in a panic, he shoved the ledger into its proper place, clumsily closed the drawer, and stumbled forward as Jedediah Boyd entered the room.
“What is the meaning of this?” the attorney thundered.
“Sir!” Benjamin greeted. “You’re home early…”
“And a good thing, too!” Jedediah cried. “What in God’s name are you doing in my office?”
“Uh…” Floundering, Benjamin pointed at the nearest window and staggered toward it, holding up his journal and pencil while he explained, “This room has the most natural light, not to mention, one of the greatest views available, so I came here to draw.”
“To draw?” Jedediah echoed, incredulous. “Whatever for?”
“Charlotte, of course,” Benjamin replied. “She’s always been fond of my drawings, so as a token of my love, I wished to sketch for her.”
Jedediah’s face softened, though his eyes remained hard as flint. “Hmph,” he grumbled. “I never begrudge my darling girl anything her heart desires, but I wish you would’ve asked me first, Philip.”
“Yes, sir, of course. You’re absolutely right. I apologize for taking such uncouth liberties.”
“Goodness, there is no need to grovel,” the older man said, “though I appreciate your sincerity.” Perking up, he added, “May I see it?”
Benjamin’s heart stammered. “You mean the drawing, sir?”
Jedediah nodded. “Why yes, of course. I am partial to those ginkgo trees out front, so I’d love to see them interpreted through an artist’s eye.”
He approached, but Benjamin was quick to tuck the journal underneath his coat and retreat, his finger wagging in admonishment.
“Now, now, sir, it’s to be a surprise! And as much as I wholeheartedly respect and value your opinion, it’s my strictest wish that Charlotte’s eyes be the very first to behold this piece. ”
Jedediah’s lips pursed, but he gave a grudging nod. “Oh, very well. I suppose I can wait a few days more. Speaking of keeping people waiting…” He gestured toward the bookshelf. “Would you mind fetching that tome by the bust of our king? It’s for you.”
“This one, sir?” Benjamin asked, plucking the book free from its shelf. The words Commentaries on the Laws of England were printed along the spine.
Jedediah hummed in acknowledgment. “I came home to fetch it for our pending appointment—or rather, for a point of reference—but you might as well get a head start and skim over it during our carriage ride.”
“I’m not sure I’ve heard of this,” Benjamin admitted, flipping through the pages with vague intrigue.
“It explains common law in layman’s terms,” Jedediah replied. “I assure you, Philip, many a jolter-head has learned from this book, so if you’re serious about your intentions—if you do wish to study law—I hereby welcome you into the fray.”
Benjamin looked at him with a smile, his pulse slowly starting to calm. “It would be my highest honor, sir.”
“Please! What did I tell you earlier? Call me Jed,” the attorney admonished. Stepping forward, he clapped a hand onto the younger man’s shoulder. “Come along, then. You have much to learn today.”
I can only hope, Benjamin thought. He could feel the heaviness of the journal in his pocket, practically burning him with the fate he’d narrowly escaped.