Chapter 19 Losing Faith #2
Clara looked Benjamin’s way with a sneer, only to falter at his sour, stony expression. Glancing back at Harriet, she urged, “Go on. You have me so curious!”
Josiah sighed. “I have a feeling I know which story this is.”
Harriet huffed. “Yes, well, I wouldn’t imagine you’d soon forget!
On the week of my late husband’s fortieth birthday, God rest his soul, I hosted teatime for our friends.
Josiah and his wife were invited, naturally…
” She nodded at the reverend. “But I had a strict ‘no children’ policy. I didn’t even want them in the back parlor, as is customary.
Benjamin must’ve taken offense, because when my guests and I sat down for tea, the little monster had urinated in every single cup! ”
Clara burst into surprised laughter, her brows knitting skeptically. “But how do you know it was him?”
“He confessed! And quite proudly, too!” Harriet tried to continue, but a series of knocks interrupted. “Oh!” Rising from her seat, she gleefully announced, “That must be my surprise!”
Bemused, Benjamin lifted his head. “A surprise?” It was the first time he’d spoken that afternoon, and a seedling of dread sprouted within his stomach when Harriet winked. That meddlesome woman! He didn’t need nor want anything from her.
Bustling over to the door, Harriet opened it with a flourish. On the other side stood a proud, sharp-nosed man with a supercilious smirk and long, dark hair pulled into a ponytail.
“Dr. Wagner!” she exclaimed. “Come in! These are—”
“The Hoskinses,” he said, nodding. “Oh, believe me, I know.” He cut his hazel eyes toward Benjamin. “And look at you, you son of a bitch!”
Harriet paled at his language. “Y-you…?”
“Know Benjamin Hoskin? Why, of course! We went to Yale together,” Dr. Wagner explained.
“Once my path as a clergyman didn’t pan out, I decided to become a physician like my old man.
” Entering with his medical bag, he assessed Benjamin with a sneer.
“I should’ve known you’d end up like this.
You were always too mischievous for your own good. ”
Benjamin scowled at the physician. Deep inside, a tendril of resentment unfurled within his chest and he clenched his hands. John Wagner was the absolute last person he wanted to see. As he fumed over his misfortune, John turned to Clara with an appreciative once-over.
“And you must be Hoskin’s lovely caretaker,” he crowed.
Eyes cutting to Benjamin, Clara offered, “Yes, but perhaps not for long. I’m afraid I am much more welcome by some than others.”
“I couldn’t imagine that being the case,” John replied. “You are much how I always envisioned Helen of Troy.”
Suppressing scornful laughter, Clara lifted a hand to hide her smile. “You and Captain Hoskin went to school together?”
John’s smile dimmed. “We did, yes. The bugger pulled a rather unfunny trick on me, but now that I’m older, I can at least acknowledge its cleverness.”
Harriet whooped. “More pranks? Goodness, Benjamin, did you ever grow up?”
Red-faced and eyes hard as flint, Benjamin’s mouth screwed downward as he looked away.
“He’s not much of a talker, is he?” John observed. “Back at Yale, we could scarcely get this cur to shut his yapper.” He bowed to Josiah. “Begging your pardon, Reverend.”
“And your purpose here is, sir?” Josiah coolly asked. “Mrs. Finch said you were a surprise?”
“Evidently, yes! I was told to offer my medical expertise,” John said. “I promise you, I can curb, if not completely cure whatever is ailing your son.”
Benjamin straightened at once. “No,” he hissed. “Absolutely not.”
“Whyever not?” John asked, bemused. “My laudanum treatment is quite effective!”
“Laudanum?” Blinking rapidly, Benjamin shook his head. “Oh no, I don’t think so…I’ve heard it’s quite expensive.”
“Not to worry, Hoskin. You’re getting a friend’s discount, if only for Mrs. Finch’s sake,” John said.
“And laudanum is scarce these days, yes, but I’ve been hoarding it long since before the war.
I’m also friends with a French surgeon, who brought plenty from overseas and allowed me a small cut of his shipment. ”
Josiah frowned. “And how much of this treatment do you intend to give?” he interjected. “During my military service, some of our men happened to die from these tinctures.”
John puffed up, affronted for being questioned. “I can assure you, Reverend, that those men were not taking the proper dosage. I have everything completely under control. You have my word as a gentleman.”
While the two men discussed, Benjamin started wondering if Wagner was right. Benjamin was emotionally in pain, so didn’t he deserve a semblance of relief, given how he may never again be happy? It was far better to be numb than made constantly aware of his present hell. That much he did know.
Swallowing, Benjamin exhaled. “Yes, well…I suppose you have a point,” he decided. “I’ll take your so-called medicine.”
“Benjamin!” Josiah exclaimed. “Are you sure?”
Benjamin didn’t lift his head, his features somber as he nodded. “Yes, sir. If I cannot get better, I wish to feel better.”
John clapped his hands, smug in his triumph.
“Splendid! I knew the ol’ Wagner charm would eventually wear you down!
” Retrieving a bottle filled with reddish-brown liquid, he set it onto the table by Benjamin’s side.
“Mix a few drops of this with alcohol whenever needed. And by that, I mean whenever you’re in pain. ”
Benjamin frowned. “I don’t feel much of anything at all, truth be told…nothing beyond an occasional burning in my spine.”
“Laudanum is for the weary in spirit, too,” John assured him. “Take it whenever you’re not feeling your best.”
Benjamin deflated. At this point, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt his best, and bitterly, he glanced down at the bottle, resigned.
“Alas, I must be off,” John announced. “I have another engagement. However…!” He turned to Clara.
“Would you care to accompany me, Miss Boyd? There is the loveliest public assembly a few towns over, and I’d be delighted if you joined me.
” He looked to Harriet with a grin. “Mrs. Finch informed me she’s already attending, so she can serve as our chaperone. ”
Clara blinked in shock. “Oh! Well…I don’t really have an appropriate dress for a dance, Doctor.”
“Balderdash!” he exclaimed. “You look gorgeous as is. Doesn’t she, Hoskin?”
Benjamin gripped his armrests, overwhelmed by the sudden stinging slice between his ribs. “She is not available,” he growled. “As my…” Swallowing, he gritted, “As my caretaker, she can’t just come and go as she pleases.”
“Oh, really?” Clara snapped. “This morning, you told me I should return home. I assumed my services were no longer desired.” She turned back to John. “I would be honored to accompany you, Dr. Wagner.”
John looked at Benjamin with a wink. “To the winner goes all the spoils, eh, Hoskin? Don’t look so glum. Have some laudanum!”
Benjamin moved to snipe at him, but Harriet laid a hand on his shoulder. “Now, now,” she admonished, “why don’t we get you into bed?”
“It’s not even dark out,” he spat.
“Well yes, but—”
“For God’s sake, I am not a child!” Furiously, he shook her off. “I’m only an invalid because you are refusing to treat me as a man—a whole man!”
“Benjamin!” Josiah thundered. “You will apologize to Mrs. Finch at once!”
“No, sir, I won’t. Not when for the past few months, I have sacrificed everything for the greater good of the colonies, for others who don’t even appreciate it.” He quivered. “I am no longer that man, so I will do whatever I please for myself and no one else!”
The room fell silent and Benjamin drew a breath, shaking and humiliated.
Pointedly, he swiped the laudanum and placed it into his lap, then tried to wheel himself around in a clumsy arc.
Unfortunately, due to the cumbersome nature of his bath chair, he was unable to self-propel and steer without the mercy of a willing individual.
Josiah stepped forward. “Benjamin—”
“I’m going to bed,” he snarled, hot tears of frustration filling his eyes. “If anyone is in need of me, do not bother.”
Wordless, his father stepped behind him and aided in his plight.
While Benjamin was wheeled away, his chin tucked toward his chest and his shoulders shaking, John looked to Clara with a snort. “I’m so sorry you had to see that, Miss Boyd. The man is a scoundrel.”
Clara didn’t answer. Her eyes watered and she touched the shawl at her neck, her gaze never straying from where Benjamin sat only moments before.