6
T he repaired van took them all the way to Amarillo that day. The panhandle of Texas was just as hot and dusty as Oklahoma had been, and it was with relief that they finally stopped for the night.
They settled into their motel room after a quick bite at a diner and a brisk walk around the parking lot with Lucy. Jared watched Cat curl up on her bed with a book. She hadn’t been herself since the van broke down. She was withdrawing into herself, and he felt helpless to stop her. He didn’t know what had upset her, and he had no clue as to how to get her to talk to him.
There was no chatter before bedtime. No midnight talks or make-out sessions. Jared found himself at a complete loss. This was what he’d wanted, wasn’t it?
In frustrated silence, he listened as Cat tossed and turned behind the blanket that separated their beds. He wanted to go to her, but common sense told him not to. Tomorrow would be soon enough to talk to her about Cameron.
Jared awoke to find the motel room empty. There was no sign of Cat, her voluminous overnight bag or the puppy. Panic struck him as hard as a hammer. Leaping from the bed, he grabbed his jeans and raced to the door.
He ripped it open to a wave of heat, and the sight of Cat and Lucy loping down the sidewalk toward him. Her eyes were on the two cups of coffee she carried in a cardboard cupholder. Jared’s gaze moved over her. Gone were the sexy tank tops and tight shorts he’d been tortured with for days. In their place, she wore blue shortalls and an enormous gray T-shirt. She looked cute.
“Where have you been?” he demanded more harshly than he intended.
Cat’s gaze shot to where he stood in the doorway, and her heart stopped in her throat. Wearing nothing save a pair of unbuttoned jeans, Jared took her breath away. His hair was tousled from sleep, and the grouchy expression he wore resembled that of a grizzly interrupted during hibernation.
The man was tan all over except for a small patch of white skin just visible above his waistline. Cat felt heat creep into her face as she was riveted by that skin.
“Well?” He frowned at her, his arms folded over his chest.
Cat tried to walk past him, but he blocked her path, letting only Lucy slip into the room behind him.
“May I come in?” she asked, fighting to keep her gaze on his and not on his body.
“Sure.” He smiled, but it was all teeth and no warmth. “When you tell me where you’ve been.”
“Excuse me?” Cat raised the cups of coffee as she strode past him. “It seems obvious to me. But just so we’re clear I don’t have to report to you.”
“No, you don’t.” He nodded, slamming the door behind them. “But it would be common courtesy to let me know where you are going.”
“You were asleep,” she protested, puzzled by this unexpectedly surly side of Jared.
“You could have woken me up.” He grabbed his shaving kit and stomped into the bathroom.
“Next time I will,” she yelled at the slammed door. “Also you’re welcome for the coffee.”
There was no response from the bathroom. Cat turned bewildered eyes to Lucy. “What do you suppose that was all about?”
Jared knew he’d overreacted. But when he’d awoken and she was gone, every protective instinct he possessed charged through him. It was impossible to pretend the feelings he had for her were merely that of friendship or mere attraction. Ever since the van had broken down, and he’d practically torn apart the two guys who had ogled his Cat, he’d known there was no going back.
He had no choice but to be honest with her, tell her about Cameron’s lie, and hope she’d be willing to forgive him. How to tell her, well, that was a whole different barrel of pickles entirely.
They ate breakfast at a truck stop, chicken fried steak with gravy thick enough to clog an artery and biscuits. Jared tried to broach the subject then, but Cat was avoiding any and all conversation with him. Gone was the woman who badgered him incessantly. In her place sat a woman buried in her phone, making only monosyllabic grunts to his every attempt at conversation.
Before leaving Amarillo, Jared insisted they stop at Cadillac Ranch, hoping the tourist attraction would rouse the old Cat. With any luck, he’d be able to draw her into a conversation.
As they hiked across the working farm field, Jared watched as curiosity and amazement lit her delicate features. Silently, he congratulated himself on his genius. The ten classic Cadillacs, half buried nose-down in the field, were well-worn with age and vandalism, but the sheer preposterousness of the spectacle was remarkable.
“What a fantastically crazy idea.” Cat laughed, letting Lucy lead her between the cars, whose metal tail fins stuck high in the air. The warm wind whipped her hair around her face, and Jared found himself returning her laughter.
“Cat.” He reached for her hand and pulled her around to face him. “I want to...”
“Look, Mom!” A child, no more than four, came tearing around one of the cars to pounce on Lucy.
Following the child hurried a frazzled-looking mother and father. They apologized for their son and tried to pull him away to look at the cars. Jared glanced down the path to see more tourists hiking their way to look at the cars. The moment was lost.
“Are you ready?” Cat asked, pulling her hand out of his.
“Yeah,” he answered with regret.
Once back in the van, Jared tried to broach the subject again. He didn’t particularly want to talk while driving, but if he waited until they reached Gallup, New Mexico, tonight, he might lose his chance.
“I’m so tired,” Cat interrupted him and stretched in the passenger’s seat. “I think I’ll take a nap.”
Jared frowned as she pulled his baseball cap down over her eyes. Why did he get the feeling she was thwarting him on purpose? Well, too bad, little lady. Like it or not, they were going to have this conversation.
“I don’t think so,” he said and tugged the baseball cap off her head. Her rebellious hair sprung about her head, and she had to blow some curls out of her eyes before she could glare at him.
“What’s gotten into you?” Her quick-changing eyes flashed blue fire in annoyance. “First you bite my head off this morning, and now you won’t let me sleep. What’s going on?”
“I’ve been trying to talk to you,” he growled. “But I get the feeling you’re trying to avoid me. Want to explain why?”
“Not particularly.” She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at the dashboard.
Jared leaned over the console to cup her chin and turn her face to his. “Aw, now what happened to the daring woman that crawled into my bed at three o’clock in the morning and demanded, of all things, conversation?”
“Just start the van,” she ordered as her face flamed. “I already apologized for that, and you know it.”
“I know you did, but I didn’t.” Jared’s voice grew solemn.
“There’s no need for you to apologize.” She sighed. “I’m like a little sister to you. Right? Well, if we’re family then you don’t need to apologize.”
“Ah, now I get it,” Jared said. “Hold that thought, darling.”
Cat felt her insides lurch at his endearment, and she watched in bemusement as he opened his door and came around to her side of the van. Without a word, he jerked open her door and pulled her out of her seat and into his arms.
Wedged between the vehicle and Jared, Cat was not given a moment to consider this abrupt turn of events. His lips landed on hers in a kiss that possessed her all the way to her toes. Her blood lurched in her veins, and she arched against him, a frustrated moan echoing in her throat.
He pulled back, and his blue eyes grew dark when Cat’s only response was to wrap her arms around his neck and cling to his solid strength. His gaze pierced hers, with a look that bespoke sweaty passion and rumpled sheets. Cat shuddered. It was a look that scorched. Oh yeah, he wanted her all right.
“So, I’m more of a kissing cousin?” she asked.
“I’m sorry I compared you to a little sister yesterday. I was in denial,” he said. “I’ve tried to think of you that way. Really, I have.”
He leaned his forehead against hers. His breathing was uneven, and his hands shook as they trailed her spine. He had to come clean now, before he got even more carried away with her. Cupping her face with his palms, he drew a steadying breath and tried to ignore her heavy-lidded, passionate gaze.
“Cat, I have to be honest with you,” he began.
She nodded, as if unable to speak.
“It’s about Cameron,” he began.
“What about Cam?” She went still, and Jared lowered his hands to grip her hips.
“About three weeks ago, he called me to ask a favor.” Cat siffened, but Jared continued, “I agreed to do the favor because he’s my best friend.”
“What favor?” she asked in clipped tones.
“I think you know,” he said, watching her eyes turn blue with fury.
“Tell me,” she demanded. “I want to hear you say it.”
“He asked me to drive out west with his somewhat absentminded sister.”
“You don’t hitchhike, do you?” she asked.
Jared shook his head.
“And you don’t have a place in Maine?”
“No,” he admitted ruefully.
She shoved his arms aside and glared at him. “So this was to soften the blow?”
“No. I was trying to let you know how I feel about you.” He ran a frustrated hand through his hair.
“How do you feel about me?” she snapped. “Never mind, it’s obvious. You think I’m a scatterbrained nitwit who couldn’t find her way out of a closet with the door open.”
The hurt in her eyes hit Jared like a punch in the gut. He’d have preferred a punch – at least it would assuage some of the guilt he felt.
“I care about you,” he said.
The veracity in his deep blue gaze was unmistakable, and Cat knew he was being honest. But it was too little, too late.
“Why?” she asked, her throat tight with angry tears. “Why did you lie to me? Do I really seem so feeble-brained that I can’t be let out on my own?”
“No.” Jared’s voice was gruff. “Damn it, I never wanted to hurt you. But Cam asked me to protect you, and he’s my friend.”
“So your friendship with my brother is more important than being honest with me. Well, that tells me where I stand.”
“It’s not that simple,” he protested.
“Isn’t it?” she asked.
“I’m sorry, Cat,” he said.
“Me, too.” Pulling away from him, she climbed back into the van and slammed the door in his face.
They arrived in Gallup, New Mexico, well after dark. This would be their last night together. Cat tried to feel better about that, but it just depressed her. She was supposed to have gotten Jared to make love to her by now. Ha!
They’d hardly exchanged two words all afternoon. Despite Jared’s apology, she was still furious. She’d been duped. First by Cameron and then by Jared. It was like trying to swallow an aspirin that was lodged in her throat. A very bitter pill.
She’d thought Jared was different. He had seemed to believe she was just fine the way she was. But it had all been one big, fat whopping lie.
She’d spent the day mulling over what he’d said, and she understood his dilemma. But she also understood that he’d chosen his loyalty to her brother over his desire for her. And she was furious with him for it!
“What do you want for dinner?” Jared asked from his side of the room.
“I don’t care,” she said, patting Lucy as she moved across the motel room to stand by the window. She pushed aside the blinds and saw the neon lights of a honky-tonk bar flicker across the street. She let the blinds drop into place. “Order whatever you want. I’m going out.”
“What?”
“I’m going out,” she repeated.
“Where?”
“None of your business,” she answered, pulling a clingy, tank-top dress out of her suitcase.
“What do you mean ‘none of my business’?” His eyes bugged.
“Exactly that.” She grabbed the hem of her T-shirt and began to pull it up. “If you want to protect your friendship with my brother, you may want to turn around.”
He narrowed his gaze at her and spun on his heel. “Cat, I know you’re still angry. You have every right to be, but sulking isn’t going to solve anything. We need to talk this out.”
“Ha!” Cat snorted. “The quiet one wants to talk!”
“Cat.” Jared peeked over his shoulder, but she ducked out of his line of vision.
“Ah-ah. No looking. What would Cam say?”
“Cat.” This time his voice was a growl, and he spun around just in time to see her jerk the dress down to her knees. Stepping into strappy black sandals, she flipped her hair over her shoulder, pushing it into place with her fingers.
Grabbing her wallet out of her purse, she knelt down to scratch Lucy’s tummy. “Don’t wait up.”
“Catherine!”
She shut the door with a click. She was being petty, and she knew it. Halfway across the street, she almost turned around, but the thought of facing Jared in retreat stayed her course. She was going out on the town by herself. She did not need him or his approval. She was single and independent and needed to remind herself of that fact.
Besides, how could she face him? She’d been throwing herself at him for days, and he’d merely been baby-sitting her. It was humiliating. Oh, sure, he’d said he cared for her and there had been moments between them when she’d thought something special was happening. But that was Jared. She was sure any woman would feel swept away by him.
Pushing open the door to the Red Horse Saloon, she strode into the dimly lit interior as if she were an experienced bar hopper. A jukebox blared out cowboy ballads that Jared would undoubtedly know the words to, while the television over the bar cast the room in an eerie blue light. A bar lined the wall to the right, while pool tables filled a room toward the back.
“Hey, lady, are you coming in or what?” the bartender greeted her.
“Coming in,” Cat squeaked and stepped over the threshold.
“What’ll ya have?” The bartender was short and stout and his bulbous, red nose indicated that he drank his share of the profits.
“What kind of wine do you have?”
“We don’t got none,” he said. “Hard alcohol and beer, that’s it.”
“I’ll have a beer,” Cat said and slipped onto a stool at the end of the bar.
The bartender poured one off the tap and smacked it down in front of her. “Five dollars.” Cat handed him a ten.
A group of men were playing pool at the back, while two older men sat several stools down from her. Cat tried to relax, pretended to watch the football game on TV, and chugged half of her beer with a grimace, all the while wondering how long she had to sit here until she’d made her point.
“I can’t finish it now, not with her sitting there.”
Cat glanced up to see the chubbier of the two men pointing at her.
“Aw, come on,” the other one chided, scratching his whiskers. “You can’t leave me hanging for the punch line.”
“Not with her there.”
Cat glanced away, feeling as out of place as a rooster in a henhouse, or more accurately, a hen in a rooster house. She chuckled.
“It’s just the punch line, spit it out!”
“Oh, all right,” the man relented, casting Cat a sidelong glance. “So then the man says, ‘Hey that’s no lady, that’s my wife!’”
“Heh, heh, heh,” the whiskered one laughed and slapped his friend on the shoulder. “That’s a good one, George.”
“Thanks, Pete.” The portly one grinned.
“That’s the oldest joke in the book,” Cat said, propping her chin on her hand. “I’ve heard that one a million times.”
George spun toward her, then his gaze narrowed, and he said, “Oh, and I suppose you’ve got a better one.”
“You betcha,” Cat answered and rose from her seat to move one seat away from him. “Want to hear it?”
“Sure,” Pete answered for his friend. “And if it’s better than George’s, I’ll buy you a beer.”
“What if it isn’t?” she asked.
“Then you’ll buy me a beer.”
“What about me?” George piped up.
“Shut up. Let the little lady tell her joke.”
“Okay,” Cat began. “What does a dog get when he flies?”
The men shook their heads.
“Jet wag,” she said with a laugh. Pete and George looked pained, but she heard a snicker from somewhere.
“That was terrible,” Pete said.
“I’m a fourth-grade teacher,” Cat said. “Give me a break. Okay. Here’s another one. Why won’t sharks eat clowns?”
Both men shook their heads again.
“Because they taste funny,” Cat said, slapping her hand on the bar with a laugh. “Get it? Clowns taste funny.”
“Ugh.” Pete lowered his head to the bar, and George looked away. “Dad jokes. She’s hitting us with Dad jokes.”
A second beer was plunked down before Cat and she looked up to see the bartender giving her a lopsided grin.
“That dog one was funny,” he said shyly.
Cat smiled. What a nice man.
“Had enough?” A deep voice growled in Cat’s ear, and she started, dousing George’s shirt with her beer.
“Look what you made me do,” she gasped and dabbed at George with a cocktail napkin. “I’m sorry, George.”
“That’s all right,” he said. “I’ll send him the cleaning bill.”
Pete burst out laughing. Cat looked at George’s shirt. It was a blue T-shirt with a large red arrow on it that read I’m with stupid. The arrow was pointing in Jared’s direction.
“You do that,” Cat giggled and turned to Jared. “How long have you been here?”
“Just in time for the jokes.” Jared raised an eyebrow at her.
“Yep, he’s been standing in the corner, glaring at you for quite some time,” Pete confirmed.
“You want us to help him out the door?” George asked.
“No, he’s a...friend.” Cat wrinkled her nose as she said the word, hoping to make her feelings clear. Jared just sighed.
“Bartender, get these two gentlemen two more beers on me,” Jared said and threw a twenty on the bar. “Come on, Cat, let’s go get some dinner.”
Dinner did sound like a good idea. Waving goodbye to her companions, Cat followed him out the door.
“If you wanted a beer, you should have waited until after dinner,” Jared said.
“I didn’t want a beer, I wanted wine, but they didn’t have any,” Cat said, letting him lead her into the motel’s restaurant. “I was about to leave and come back to the room, but they bought me a beer, and I didn’t want to be rude.”
“Heaven forbid,” Jared mocked her as he helped her into a booth.
Cat curled her lip at him and snapped open her menu. She was famished! When the waitress appeared, she ordered a full dinner plus dessert.
“And I’d love some coffee now, please, if it’s not too much trouble,” she said.
“Make it a decaf,” Jared said to the waitress.
“No.” Cat shook her head. “I want regular.”
“You’ll be up all night,” Jared argued.
“No, I won’t,” Cat insisted.
“Decaf,” Jared whispered to the waitress.
“Regular,” Cat said from between her teeth.
“Fine.” Jared snapped his menu shut. “But I don’t want to hear it when you’re wide awake at three in the morning.”
“You won’t.”
“How long have you two been married?” the waitress asked with a chuckle.
Cat and Jared glared at her.
“That long, eh?” the waitress asked as she walked away.
They ate dinner in silence, primarily because Cat was too busy eating to make conversation. Pleasantly full, she lingered over a second cup of coffee and a heaping helping of apple pie à la mode. Pausing, with her fork halfway to her mouth, she glanced at Jared. He was pinching the tips of his ears, looking completely agitated.
“Is something wrong?” she asked, expecting him to chastise her for her second cup of coffee.
“No,” he snapped.
“Then why are you rubbing the tips of your ears?” she asked. “You’re not getting sick, are you?”
“No,” he said and then changed the subject. “Do you always moan when you eat?”
“No.” Cat replaced her fork on the dish as she felt a hot flash creep up her neck. “Only when I’m enjoying my food. Why, does it bother you?”
“Yes.” Jared frowned, and then his mouth curved up into a slow, seductive and positively wicked grin. “That moan of yours makes the tips of my ears grow hot.”
“Oh,” Cat said, swallowing around the lump of apple in her throat.
On the walk back to the motel, Jared took her elbow and Cat let him. She was still angry with him, but it was nice to feel his callused palm against her skin. It seemed like ages, instead of hours, had passed since he’d kissed her, and she missed the feel of his mouth against hers like a physical ache.
“I can take care of myself, you know,” she said, trying to pick a fight to cure her longing.
“I know,” he agreed.
“Then why...?”
“Because Cameron asked me to,” he said.
They entered the motel room silently. Cat paused. Lucy always greeted her at the door, but there was no sign of her.
“Lucy,” she called. “Lucy.”
Then she heard it. A grinding noise. Cat peered between the beds and found Lucy busily gnawing her rubber bone.
“Jared, did you give Lucy her chewy toy?” she asked.
“No, why?”
“Because she has it and I didn’t give it to her,” Cat said.
“Maybe she found it in your bag,” he said.
“Maybe,” Cat agreed, unconvinced. “Hey, why is my bag on your side of the room?”
“I don’t know,” Jared said. “Why is my bag on your side of the room?”
“This is weird,” Cat said.
“You don’t suppose...?” Jared asked, looking pointedly at Lucy.
“Nah,” they said together.
They undressed in silence with the bedspread hanging between them like a physical manifestation of the unresolved issues between them.
Good-nights were short. The light was flicked off with a snap. Cat lay in bed, studying the ceiling above her. It had all been lies, she thought. He didn’t hitchhike. There was no cabin in Maine. He probably had money, too. She frowned.
If he had money, then there was no reason for them to be sharing this room now, except that she’d miss him if he wasn’t there. But why hadn’t he taken a room of his own? He’d been uncomfortable sharing a room since day one. Now that his secret was out, he could get another room if he wanted. Why hadn’t he? She stared into the dark. Unless he just didn’t want to.
And if he didn’t want to was it because...No, it couldn’t be. She glanced at the clock. The number on the digital clock changed, and she sighed. The caffeine was keeping her awake. So much for defiance, she thought. She turned onto her side. Her thoughts refused to be shut off or ignored. Like an itch that needed scratching her thoughts turned back to Jared. Why hadn’t he gotten a separate room?
Perhaps it had been an oversight, but she doubted it. Jared was a watcher. He noticed things. He wasn’t one to overlook the details. Maybe, just maybe, he’d been telling the truth and he did care about her and was just as attracted to her as she was to him. The thought flooded her with heat. She flopped onto her back. He was lying just four feet away, probably in boxers and nothing else. She had to know. Did he want her as badly as she wanted him? And if so, what would it take to make him do something about it?
She pushed the sheet aside, and sat up in bed. She’d been saying she wanted to prove her independence and take care of herself. Well, wasn’t going after what she wanted a big part of that? And she wanted Jared. He’d lied to her, betrayed her trust, and conned her. He owed her full disclosure.
She left Lucy sleeping on her bed and ducked around the bedspread to Jared’s side of the room. She stood by his bed as silent as a shadow, just watching him. He was lying on his side, facing her, with one arm under his pillow and the sheet knotted up around his waist. Cat reached out to touch him, but her fingers never made contact with his skin.
His hand shot out and clamped about her wrist. “Don’t!” he said.
“Oh!” she started, but Jared didn’t release her wrist. “You’re awake.”
“Your tossing and turning would keep the dead awake,” he said.
“Sorry,” she lied and took a step closer to the bed.
“What’s the matter, coffee keeping you up?” he asked.
She let his sarcasm slide. She sank onto the bed, and used her free hand to trace a finger across his chest. “Among other things.”
Jared’s breath hissed from between his teeth. “Cat? What are you up to?”
“Up to?” She blinked. “Not a thing...yet.”
“You’re looking for trouble,” he observed. “Why?”
“Because, as I figure it, you owe me, Jared McLean.”