9
C at spent the next few days preparing her classroom for the upcoming year. Her primary subject areas were to be reading and composition, and she decorated her room accordingly.
Lifting the long alphabet poster, she decided to tack it up over the chalkboard, but she didn’t have a step stool. Pulling a chair over to the wall, she climbed onto it, hoping it would give her the height she needed. Stretching up onto her toes, she laid one palm flat on the poster while she used her thumb to push the tack in. It was like trying to push through concrete. She pushed harder. The toe of her left sneaker slid out from under her and Cat felt herself pitch off the chair toward the floor below.
Clenching her eyes tight, Cat braced for impact. It never came. A strong pair of arms caught her in mid-tumble and swept her up against a hard chest.
“Hello, sweetheart,” a familiar voice greeted her, and her eyes popped open in surprise. “As graceful as ever, I see.”
“Jared.” Cat blinked and then grinned. “Nice catch.”
“I think so.” They watched each other, awareness crackling between them. Cat glanced away first.
“You can put me down now,” she said as primly as possible, while brushing an invisible piece of lint from her shorts.
“No,” Jared refused.
“No? What do you mean ‘no’?” She frowned at him.
“Kiss me first.” He leered.
“Jared! Not here. Someone might see us,” she protested.
“The kids haven’t landed yet,” he said as he walked to the door and shut it with a kick. “Pucker up.”
His dimples deepened as his gaze captured hers. Cat felt her heart slam against her ribs and wound her arms around his neck. Unable to resist him, she met his lips with hers.
Jared gave in to his desire for her and slid his mouth across hers. Pulling her close, he leaned against the door and let himself get his fill of her. His lips left hers and trailed a path of kisses just below her ear and down her throat. Cat hummed in response and lifted her chin to give him better access. Jared smiled.
“You drive me crazy,” he said and pulled away, letting Cat slide down the front of him before he was tempted to go too far. The slide almost changed his mind.
“Ditto,” she sighed as she stepped back on wobbly knees. Taking a breath, she motioned to the poster that still hung precariously on the wall. “Could you finish that for me? I don’t think I’m steady enough to stand on a chair.”
“Sure.” He winked at her. “Want to hold the chair for me?”
“Humph,” she grunted and returned to her box of supplies.
They spent the afternoon decorating Cat’s room. She never asked him why he was there, nor did she try to kick him out. She was too happy to see him. It was all she could do to keep from grinning at him like a nitwit. It had only been a few days since she’d seen him, but oh, to her heart it felt much longer.
Jared left after seeing Cat to her car. She was surprised and not a little disappointed. She’d hoped to spend the evening with him, but with a quick kiss he was gone. Cat tried not to feel hurt, yet she couldn’t help but wonder at his abrupt departure.
It was better this way, she told herself. This was what she wanted. If she got used to having Jared around or allowed herself to depend upon him, then it would defeat her entire purpose for being here.
She spent the evening eating a solitary meal on her patio. Yes, this was exactly what she wanted, she told herself, ignoring the misery that assailed her. The shrill hum of a cicada broke the evening silence.
Its annoying buzz magnified the loneliness Cat felt. She glanced around the small backyard. A bug, a dog and a couple of sparrows, flitting in the trees, were her only companions. It should have been enough, but it wasn’t. A breeze ruffled the leaves of the lemon tree behind her chair, and she sighed. What was that old expression? Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it. Wasn’t that the truth?
When she awoke with the sun early the next morning, Cat couldn’t deny that something was missing. That something was Jared. Wistfully, she wrapped her palms around her mug of coffee and watched Lucy romp around the backyard.
Lucy had grown so much over the summer. With an acute pang, Cat missed the days when Lucy was small enough to climb onto her lap. Now the little moocher took up half of the bed. She remembered the night they’d first arrived. She and Jared had awoken in the middle of the night to find themselves separated by thirty pounds of canine.
“Good morning, sunshine.” His voice was a whisper that swept over her skin.
Cat whirled around, one hand trying to fluff her sleep flattened hair while the other clutched her mug to her chest. Heat suffused her face as she fought to appear nonchalant at his sudden appearance. She failed miserably.
“Oh, hi.” Her voice cracked. She wanted to throw herself in his arms, but her bare feet refused to budge.
Lucy had no such reservations. Barking a greeting, she rushed Jared, not pausing until she stood braced on her back legs with her front paws on Jared’s hips as she begged for pats and tried to lick his face.
“Now how come you never rush into my arms like that?” Jared chided her as he hugged the dog.
“Bring me a treat and I might,” she teased, feeling her equilibrium returning. She was heartbreakingly glad to see him. She wouldn’t think of all the reasons why this was bad. She would concentrate on him.
His blond hair looked windswept, and his bright blue eyes were shadowed with something akin to desperation. His hard physique was encased in a gray T-shirt, his usual faded jeans fit him like a second skin and were painfully familiar to Cat’s lonely memory.
“Do you want some coffee?” she offered, wanting to lengthen his visit as long as she could.
“I’d love it,” Jared answered, ruffling Lucy’s ears one more time before pushing her feet off his hips.
Cat led him into the kitchen, aware of his every step, every glance, every breath. She poured his coffee with shaky fingers. “I wish we could have breakfast together, but I have to get ready for work.”
Jared shook his head at her.
“What do you mean?” She narrowed her eyes at him.
In answer, Jared strode to her phone and dialed. Cat watched in horror as he asked to speak with Principal Horvath. She waved her hands, frantically trying to stop him, but Jared ignored her.
Cat listened as he told the principal that he was kidnapping one of her teachers for the day. He explained that this teacher was new and hadn’t seen much of the desert and they couldn’t have that, now could they? He then proceeded to charm the principal until Cat could hear the woman’s laughter clear across the room.
As soon as he hung up, Cat launched into a sputtering speech. “Jared! You...how could you...I can’t...this is irresponsible, juvenile and utterly reprehensible. My students are counting on me. What kind of example am I setting by pulling this kind of stunt? You’ll just have to call back and say it was a gag.”
“Cat, school doesn’t start for two more days,” Jared interrupted her tirade by pulling her into his arms. “Your room is ready. Your lesson plans for the first month are good to go. You even have your principal’s blessing. Now come on, let’s go play hooky.”
Nonplussed, Cat felt his hands on her hips and promptly forgot her objections. “But...”
“No buts!” Jared spun her around and nudged her toward her bedroom door. She ditched her robe and stepped into the shower. She was touched more than she could say. A whole day of being bad? Catherine Levery had never had the luxury. With a wicked laugh, she decided she was going to enjoy it. No recriminations, no guilt.
“What do you want to do first?” Jared asked her as soon as they were settled in the Jeep.
Straightening the hat and glasses he’d dropped on her head, she refrained from asking if they were the same ones they’d used to sneak Lucy into the motel.
“Let’s just get out of town,” she suggested, not knowing what she wanted to do. “And then I’ll leave it up to you. You’re the tour guide.”
“Great,” Jared answered with a wink. “I have a few ideas.”
“I’m sure you do.” Cat frowned at him and slumped in her seat as the Jeep took off through her neighborhood. Playing hooky at her age – she must be out of her mind.
They stopped for coffee and donuts at a shop on the edge of town. Cat sat with Lucy while Jared dashed into the store. A whole day with Jared, her heart sang. Oh, how she’d missed him.
She wouldn’t dwell on her need to be independent, not today. Today she was at Jared’s mercy. It was disconcerting to realize there was no place she’d rather be.
“Plain or jelly?” he asked.
“Whichever you don’t want,” she said.
Jared glared at her. “Pick one.”
“Jelly,” she said.
“Good.” He laughed. “I lied. They’re all jelly.”
“What if I’d wanted plain?” she asked.
“Much as it pains me to admit it, I’d have gone back in and gotten you one.” He grimaced.
“I think that’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me.” Cat laughed, biting into her donut with gusto.
“Nah,” Jared disagreed. “That’s just what you for the people you love.”
Cat choked, and he thumped her on the back, his dimples bracketing his rogue’s smile. What did he mean? Was he trying to tell her...? No, he couldn’t mean... Could he? Cat’s brain stuttered to a halt.
A blue sparkle caught her eye as they passed the RV park at the edge of town. She was still mulling over Jared’s words and it was a second before she turned her head to see what was making the blue flash. By the time she turned to look, it was gone.
Her first thought was that it was another of Mabel’s outlandish outfits. Great. Now she was seeing things. The Bickersons must have made more of an impression upon her than she realized. Sometimes she was sure she was still being followed. But that was impossible. What could the Bickersons possibly want with her?
Jared turned down the lane to his ranch, parking beside one of the large buildings behind the house. Cat followed Jared through the enormous double doors. An office and tack room were on the right and just beyond Cat could see an endless row of stables. Lucy followed with her nose pressed to the ground.
“We need to get you some boots.” Jared eyed her Keds with disdain and led her into the tack room. It was chock full of bridles, harnesses, saddles and a variety of other horse training equipment. The smell of worn leather and horse sweat filled her senses, and Cat felt a moment of exhilaration.
“My sister leaves her boots in here as do some of her students.” Jared squatted beside a row of cubbyholes, full of boots and hats and riding crops. “What size are you?”
“Seven.”
“Perfect.” Jared returned with a pair of black, Western style boots in his hand.
Cat sat on the only bench in the room and removed her sneakers. The black boots were snug in the toe, but otherwise fine. She couldn’t have cared less. She was too excited. When Jared plunked a large cowboy hat on her head, she peeped at him from beneath the brim.
“To block the sun,” he said and covered his own head with a wide-brimmed brown Stetson. “Ready?”
Cat nodded and followed him out the side door to the yard. Waiting outside was a short, barrel shaped man, holding two of the most beautiful horses Cat had ever seen.
“Morning, Sirus,” Jared greeted the older man. “I hope we didn’t keep you waiting.”
“Morning, Jared.” The man’s voice was gruff as if underused. “No, I just got here myself.”
“This is Sirus.” Jared pulled Cat forward. “Sirus, this is Cat.”
“Nice to meet you, ma’am.” The wrinkled face cracked in a smile, and Cat felt honored as if the old man didn’t smile much and only when he meant it.
“Likewise...Mr. Sirus.” Cat nodded in return.
“This is your mount,” Jared said, leading Cat to the smaller horse. “Her name’s Cocoa Bar, and she’s the sweetest mare in the stable. She won’t give you any trouble.”
“Hello, Cocoa Bar,” Cat said and patted the horse’s neck. “Aren’t you a beautiful girl?” The horse nodded appreciatively, and Cat felt an understanding pass between them.
“I like her,” Cat announced.
“Let me give you a boost.” Jared crouched and cupped his hands. Cat placed her left foot in his hands and let him lift her until she could swing her other leg over the saddle.
Cocoa Bar stood perfectly still, and Cat felt herself relax. Somehow, she felt much higher off the ground than she had as a kid. Cat took the reins into her hands, trying to get used to the feel of them.
She’d always ridden English style as a child, and she noted the difference of the Western saddle. For one thing, it had a saddle horn. She wasn’t sure what it was for, but it seemed like an awfully good thing to hang onto if she lost control of the horse or the reins.
When Jared finished fussing with her stirrups, she slipped her feet into them, remembering to keep her heels down and her toes up.
Jared mounted with much less fuss. His horse was equally well behaved, but there was a decided air of rebelliousness about him. Perhaps it was his coat of unrelieved black. Never had Cat seen such a dark horse. His bearing was regal, the power of his frame tangible, he was the perfect complement for Jared.
“What is your horse’s name?” Cat asked.
“Diablo. It’s Spanish for devil.” Pride made his deep voice rumble, and Cat thought the name suited both the horse and the rider.
“Sirus, will you keep an eye on our girl?” Jared asked and pointed to Lucy who was sniffing one of the stalls.
“You bet,” Sirus said.
“Ready?” Jared asked Cat.
She nodded and with a wave to Sirus, they left the stable yard and headed out into the desert. Cocoa Bar seemed content to follow Diablo’s lead. Just like a woman in love, Cat thought with a quick glance at Jared’s broad back. Her gaze strayed to the motion of his hips in the saddle, back and forth, back and forth. She gulped and shifted her gaze away.
They followed a well-worn path through the valley and Cat marveled at the scenery surrounding them. Every morning when she woke up and looked out her window, it took her breath away. Spiked cacti, large rust-brown mountains, and green-limbed trees. It was all foreign to her and so very beautiful.
“You know what I can’t get used to out here?” Cat pulled alongside Jared as the path widened.
“The heat?” he guessed.
“No, the sky,” she answered. “I mean from one shoulder to the other all I see is blue sky.” Jared nodded, watching her with a tenderness that made her continue in a rush, “Back East, all you ever see is ribbons of blue through the trees.” She sighed, tipping her head back while clutching her hat to keep it in place. “It’s just amazing. It’s impossible to be grumpy or depressed when you’re inundated with sunshine like this.”
“That’s why so many people get hooked,” Jared agreed. “Some move here for a little while and find they never want to leave.”
“Hmm.” Cat could believe it.
They rode to the top of one of the nearby hills. There was a beautiful view of the ranch, and Cat was amazed at how high they’d climbed. The view of town was blocked by a series of larger hills that Jared called the Copper Creek Buttes. According to Jared, there was an excellent hike to the top of them, but the trail was not well marked and several people had gotten lost amongst them.
“You should always mark your trail when you’re out in the wilderness,” Jared said. “Bend a branch on a bush or make a pattern with some rocks, something that will remind you of which way you came.”
Cat ignored the meaningful look Jared cast her as he imparted this information. Really, the man acted as if she couldn’t tie her shoes by herself.
They rounded a bend and came upon a large clearing in which sat the wooden frame of a house under construction.
“Come here, I want to show you something.” Jared motioned her off her horse.
Cat tried to swing her right leg free, but it wouldn’t budge.
“Come on, Cat,” Jared said, dismounting and tying Diablo to a Cottonwood tree.
Cat leaned forward. Her knees were locked and her legs felt as if they were tied to the saddle. She leaned backward, but her feet just slid deeper into the stirrups. She pushed up on the saddle horn. No luck. She could not get her legs free.
“Cat, are you okay?” Jared asked.
“I’m fine,” she said, feeling her face get warm with embarrassment. “I’m just...I’m stuck.”
“What?” he asked.
“You heard me. I’m stuck.”
“Oh, that’s right. You’re a greenhorn.” Jared laughed and strode over to stand beside the horse. He opened his arms and said, “Fall.”
“What?”
“Let go and fall,” he said. “Don’t worry. I’ll catch you.”
With a frown, Cat did as he said. Jared caught her and gently set her on the ground. A shooting pain stabbed Cat in the posterior. It was all she could do not to hug her rump and moan.
“Come on, tenderfoot, walk it out,” Jared said.
“Where are we?” she asked, limping beside him.
“This is my house,” he said.
“You’re building this?” She gasped in pleased surprise.
“You like it?” he asked warily.
“Are you kidding? It’s gorgeous. The view alone is breathtaking.”
Jared felt air sweep through his lungs and was surprised. He hadn’t been aware he was holding his breath. This was good, he reassured himself, now all he had to do was convince Cat that she belonged here.
“Let me show you the rooms,” he suggested and led her through the frame, telling her what had been planned and probing her for suggestions and ideas. Cat fell in with the plan immediately. She loved his ideas for the master bedroom, but was prepared to do battle with him over the kitchen.
“You can’t put the appliances against the west wall,” she argued, shaking her head. “You want windows on this wall. Just imagine the sunsets you’d miss if the appliances are here.”
“I hadn’t thought of that,” Jared lied. She didn’t need to know he was already planning to put windows there. “You’re right. I’ll have to tell the workmen to change it.”
“Good.” Cat nodded. “I’m sure you’ll like that much better.”
“Well, I don’t cook very much for myself.” Jared shrugged with false disinterest. “So, I don’t suppose it will make much difference to me. But when I get married, I’m sure it will probably matter to my wife. Women seem to care about that kind of thing.”
He watched her face fall. She looked as vulnerable as a little girl who’s had her ice cream cone swiped. Silently, she turned on her heel and left the house.
“Cat.” Jared stopped her with a hand on her arm. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” She parted her lips in a smile that didn’t quite reach her stormy eyes. “You have a beautiful house. I’m sure you’ll be very happy here.”
“No, I won’t.” Jared relented and cupped her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze. “Not unless you’re here with me.”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“I mean that I’ve been trying to give you time to be on your own, but the truth is I miss you. I want to spend my life with you,” he said.
“Oh, Jared, I...I can’t.”
She burst into tears, and Jared cursed himself for pushing the issue and making her cry. Pulling her into his arms, he rested his chin in her springy hair and hushed her with soft words and hands that swept up and down her spine.
He felt his throat tighten and he swallowed, sucking in a gulp of air. It was now or never. He had to tell her. His gut clenched, and he closed his eyes, battling the nerves that threatened to swamp him. He could do it. For her, he could take the biggest risk of his life.
“Cat, I love you,” he whispered. She stiffened in his arms, and he knew she’d heard him.
“Don’t!” Cat said, pushing out of his arms and turning away from him. “I can’t do this. I need to be on my own. Damn it! I’ve waited too long to find my independence. I won’t give it up. Not even for you.”
“Cat.” Jared was in front of her in one stride. His hands cupped her face, and he forced her eyes to meet his. “I don’t want you to give up your independence for me. I want the pigheaded pain in the butt that fights me over where the windows in the kitchen should be or what kind of music she wants on the radio. I want the woman who is brave enough to travel across the country by herself, but is kind enough to take along someone who she thinks is stranded. Don’t you see you’re different with me?”
With a shaky hand, Cat caressed his cheek. Oh, how she loved this man. But she couldn’t let him deceive himself. She knew herself too well. She’d do what she always did with the people she cared about. She’d let him become her whole world. She’d lose herself in him, until he became so bored he’d look somewhere else for amusement. She couldn’t handle that. With anyone but Jared, she’d survive, but to have that happen to them, it would destroy her.
“Jared, I can’t. I just can’t.” Her voice broke and her tears flowed freely over both of them.
Her tears soaked his shirt, and Jared knew she wouldn’t change her mind. Belatedly, he realized the irony of having the woman who opened his world be the same one to slam the door in his face.
He had tried to give her time to be independent. Although, he supposed a few days wasn’t a lot of time. But he loved Cat. He loved her unreservedly and without fear. For as long as he could remember, he’d been terrified of loving anyone too much for fear that they’d be taken away from him like his mother. But his love for Cat was so strong, it wouldn’t succumb to the fear.
He knew he was being selfish, but hell, when a guy finally finds his soul mate, he doesn’t want to wait to start a life together, he wants to start that life right now. But Cat wasn’t ready. Maybe she never would be. What was to become of them?