Fifteen
Megan Bryce To Catch A Spinster
O livia watched sadly as the last of London flew by. Her last season, her last trip to London, the last of balls and rumors and dirty air. She would not be coming back, and for a moment she grew wistful. This year had been different. Nathaniel had changed everything. For once she had not been the object of pitiful stares and fearful comparisons. For once she had not been laughed at. She, Olivia Blakesley, spinster extraordinaire, had been normal.
Except for the article. That hadn’t been normal. But Nathaniel’s obvious unconcern had shortened the life of the scandal considerably.
Olivia’s reputation would be even more infamous now. In the eyes of the ton she had either lost or rejected Nathaniel’s suit. She would take odds that no one thought she had rejected him. What sane woman would? What sane spinster would?
She sighed, dropping the curtain, and settled back into her seat. Thankfully, she need never hear the whispers, the rumors, again. She would go back to her quiet house and her quiet stars and paint. She would live her life as she planned it, with no distractions, no surprises.
With no Nathaniel.
She had done the right thing. No matter how it hurt to let him go, he deserved better. In a few months, after they had spent time apart, they both would realize their affection for each other had been passing.
She would remember for the rest of her days what it had been like to love and be loved. That was all she had asked for. A moment. Not a lifetime.
That was enough for her. And she would continue to tell herself so until she believed it.
Her father cleared his throat quietly. He had sat across from her in the small confines of the coach reading quietly until now. “I hear Mr. Jenkins asked for your hand. And you refused.”
Olivia glanced at him. “Yes. I wasn’t sure you knew; you didn’t say anything.”
“I knew. Your mother has been quite distraught.”
She smiled slightly. “Yes, I’ve heard her. All of London heard her. But Papa, it will work out fine. I’ve planned it all, and no one should worry. The spinster’s life will work well for me. I’ll have plenty of time for my studies. And I can run the estate just as well as you can. Marcus will let me stay here after you and Mama have gone.”
She touched his arm, apologizing for bringing up a sad subject.
He said, “I do not doubt that you will run the place better than I. But that is not what I’m concerned about.”
He looked out the window. “The greatest pleasures I have had in my life have been at home. With my wife and children surrounding me.” He sighed. “When you children were young, the house was filled with noise and activity. Scraped knees to be kissed, tears to be dried, dolls to be admired. Looking back at my life, I realize those are the memories I return to time and again. I would not want you to miss that, Olivia. You, of all my children, study and watch and listen. You have great insight into the human condition.”
“I like to make sense of life, Papa.”
He smiled and patted her hand. “Yes. But I fear you sometimes prefer to watch rather than do. A student of the wind and waves would not hesitate to jump on a boat or frolic in the ocean to study more deeply. I would not want you to miss this opportunity to study life more in depth. A husband and children would not take from the experience, but add.”
Olivia stared unseeing out the window. “But what if I’m afraid?”
“Do you fear Mr. Jenkins?”
“I fear myself. I wonder if I’ll forget who I am and try to be his perfect wife.”
Mr. Blakesley laughed. “You have never tried to be a perfect anything, Olivia. Not a perfect daughter, a perfect sister, a perfect aunt. You have always walked your own path. I doubt you would stop now. And I doubt Mr. Jenkins would want that since you are the woman he wishes to marry.”
“He would probably be quite shocked if I turned up in a frilly orange ball gown.”
“The man would probably demand the return of the real Olivia.”
“What if he doesn’t let me out at night to watch the stars?”
Mr. Blakesley’s eyes twinkled.
“Then I dare say you would do the same thing when I forbade you to go outside after dark: Steal all the keys to the bedchambers, lock everyone inside, and continue your studies in peace.”
Olivia smiled. “I don’t know why you didn’t tan my hide.”
Mr. Blakesley chuckled. “It wouldn’t have done any good.”
She looked at her father and said quietly, “How do I know it will be a happily-ever-after?”
“You just have to believe. And be prepared to take some action to get it.”
The carriage ride was long and uncomfortable, but at last they arrived. Four boys ran out to greet them, yipping and hollering. Marcus helped her down from the carriage, her backside protesting profusely with every step.
“Ah, Olivia. Have you come to see my wife’s pride and joy?”
She smiled. “You know I have. They heard the cry in Scotland, I’m sure. A girl, a girl! Prudence has had her girl!”
Marcus laughed. “If you want anything from her, now is the time to ask. She has already told the boys they may have whatever they wish as a gift from their sister.”
“No more threats of Papa sleeping with his horses?”
“I believe I’m safe. For now.”
Olivia spied her mother behind him. She had arrived weeks earlier to help Prudence with her lying-in, and Olivia was not looking forward to hearing her mother’s thoughts on losing Mr. Jenkins.
But her mother merely looked at her, not saying a word, and went straight to her father, fussing over him and exclaiming how happy she was he had made it safely.
Olivia sighed in relief and instructed one of the boys to take her to Prudence.
She lay on the bed, her daughter asleep in the cradle of her arms. Prudence radiated joy, her eyes bright and shiny.
“Congratulations, Prue.”
“Isn’t she beautiful, Livvy? The most beautiful sight in the whole world.”
Olivia smiled and stroked the baby soft skin of her niece. “Far be it for me to contradict a deliriously happy mama.”
“Tell me she is beautiful, Olivia, or I shan’t let you hold her.”
“She is the most precious thing I have ever seen.”
Prudence grinned, relaxing her hold as Olivia took the baby.
Olivia looked down at her niece. “Have you thought of a name?”
“Nothing. I wouldn’t think of it while I was pregnant and now I can’t think of a single one. I’ve been calling her my little angel and the boys have taken it up.” Prudence looked at her sheepishly. “What do you think?”
“I think she will be the terror of the house if you name her that. She will boss her brothers around, get whatever she wants from her papa, and be doted upon by her mama.”
Prue sighed happily. “I know. She’ll be the most spoiled little girl in the whole world.”
Olivia grinned down at her niece. “It doesn’t sound too bad a life, does it, Angel?”
“Mother is going to have a fit. I can hear her already, What kind of name is that? ”
“I think I’d surprise her with it at the christening.”
They sat companionably, simply admiring the baby. Olivia stroked the wisps of her hair and marveled at the size of her fingernails.
Olivia said, “Mother’s not speaking to me.”
Prudence rolled her eyes. “Lucky you. I hear all day long about Mr. Jenkins and your rejection of him. Pray that she continues punishing you.”
Olivia snickered. “How long do you think it will last? Do I have until tomorrow, at least?”
Prudence shook her head. “If she makes it to dinner, I’ll eat a goat.”
They laughed until a tear slid down Olivia’s cheek.
She whispered, “I want this, Prue. I thought I had everything I wanted, but now... I feel empty. I feel like a great hole is missing in my life, in my heart.”
“Get him back.”
She shook her head. “Impossible. You don’t know what I did, what I said.”
“No, nor do I want to since it was likely unforgivable. You really need to learn to hold your temper.”
“Oh, that’s rich coming from you.”
“What I’ve found useful is to say I’m sorry. Grovel a bit.” Prudence laughed. “Kissing usually loosens up an angry man.”
Olivia said, “How have you stayed married for so long? Why hasn’t he killed you yet?”
Prudence shrugged, unconcerned. “He loves me, and I him. It’s really not so hard, Livvy. May I have my baby back so you can go win over your man?”
Olivia kissed the top of Angel’s head and handed her back to Prue.
“Don’t think so much, Olivia. Just go.”