Chapter 18 #2
“Why?” I breathe, my arms shaking as I hold myself above her, afraid to move. The pain from the bullet wound in my abdomen has been relegated to the back of my awareness in lieu of this bombshell.
Her lids lift slowly and a tear rolls down her cheek to the comforter. I’ve never had a particularly good relationship with Yours Truly, but right now, I fucking hate myself.
“What do you mean, why?” she asks in a shaky voice.
“Why didn’t you say something? Why didn’t you stop me?”
Her throat bobs on a swallow. “I didn’t want to die a virgin,” she whispers. “And this seemed like as good a time as any.” She turns her head to the side as a bitter laugh escapes her.
“Do you want me to stop?” I ask, softly. “I can pull out.”
She blinks and several seconds pass before she turns to face me again.
“Do you want to stop?”
Her question halts my heart beat. My entire motivation for doing this just went up in a thick cloud of black smoke. There’s no way I can say everything I’d planned now. Even a monster like me can’t be that cruel.
With that intention gone, feelings of a totally different nature flood my consciousness.
This is Pfeiffer McAllister’s first time and she’s sharing it with me.
My chest seems to expand and reach out to her at the same time. I want to protect her in this moment, keep her safe. I want her first time to be gentle and slow and soft and everything that I’m not.
For tonight only, I’ll mold myself that way for her.
Against every single ounce of restraint my body possesses, I lower my mouth to her lips and press a soft kiss to them.
Nostalgia slams into me, chemistry crawling across every limb like a fuse to a bomb.
She doesn’t move for a long moment so I press another, longer, warmer kiss to her lips.
The room seems to whoosh around my ears.
It’s almost like I’m nestled in the eye of a storm while the world around me descends into chaos.
When she parts her lips a bolt of electricity shoots down my body making my cock jerk inside her. She feels it and gasps into my mouth.
Tenderly, I taste the underside of her lip with my tongue and my eyes fall closed, feeling her body soften beneath me.
A deep moan unfurls in my chest and I angle my head to fit my lips over hers.
We sink into each other, our tongues stroking slowly and carnally, exploring the sensation of being entirely entwined.
Little gasps pump into my mouth whenever my cock pulses, but I don’t move. I just let her lie with the feel of my hard cock stretching her slowly. She’s reshaping her insides around me, making me fit her snug and warm.
I don’t know how much time has passed when I come back up for air, but her cheeks are pink and her lips raw from where our kiss deepened.
I watch her expression carefully as I pull out just a little. She winces at the pain and I stop. “Are you sure about this?” I whisper.
It takes her a second to comprehend the question, then she nods, fast. “Yes, I’m sure.”
I push back inside her as gently as I can. I’ve never shown such enormous restraint in my life. I want to fuck her hard until we both see stars but I hadn’t anticipated that this would be her first time.
Gradually, I work up to a slow rhythm that doesn’t have her wincing on every thrust. She’s so hot and wet and perfect my cock has already decided we’re coming back here, so I need to warm her up gently and not frighten her off.
She blinks up at me and I can’t believe how she’s trusting me in this moment. I don’t deserve her trust.
My abdomen thanks me when I lower onto my elbows. “Take my hands,” I say to her. “I won’t put mine on you, but you can take mine.”
Her small fists uncurl, releasing the comforter that she’d been holding onto. I lean on one elbow while catching her left hand in my right, then pull it up her body. Doing the same on the other side, I hold both her hands above her head, balancing my weight on my forearms.
In the corner of my eye I catch a small tattoo on the inside of her wrist—a swallow in flight.
I draw my gaze back to hers. She’s my little bird now. And I’m going to make her soar.
“Hold on, baby,” I whisper against her lips.
Her fingers grip mine tightly as I rock into her, using all of my length. When I return my mouth to hers, her breaths are longer, slower, more sated. My hips brush against her thighs with every slow thrust, making my skin burn everywhere.
Her tongue moves inside my mouth, almost expertly. She has no idea how seductive she is, nor how much I’m unraveling inside her.
When I come up for another breath, tears are streaming down her cheeks. I stop moving and her gaze snaps to mine.
“Does it still hurt?” My brow dips in concern, that self-hatred growing deeper and darker.
She shakes her head and sniffs. “No.”
“Then what is it? I can stop.”
“No,” she says, her head shaking faster now. “Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”
I lower a touch and press soft kisses to her tears. The saltiness makes my mouth water. “Why are you crying?”
She blinks while my cock throbs impatiently inside her warmth.
“It’s…” She swallows. “It’s… beautiful. It’s so beautiful.”
I stare at her. I just tore her insides with no regard for anything but revenge, and she finds this beautiful?
An earthquake starts up behind the wall of my chest. I want to wrap my arms around her, feel the goosebumps spread beneath my fingertips, watch her toes curl when I make her come.
She’s cracked something inside me wide open and the previous demonic anger is sliding through my fingers like molten wax.
Only minutes ago I wanted her to crumble beneath me as I relayed the pain she once caused, yet now I want to hold her together and have only bliss break her apart.
I lean down and kiss her again. “You’re beautiful, Pfeiffer,” I whisper, and I mean every damn word. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”
I hold her small, warm hands in my large ones and move smoothly into her, pulling out with a low hiss then rolling back in feeling every ridge of my cock glide along her tight walls.
Knowing I can’t finger her clit, I stroke the flat of my pelvis over her folds as I move, stimulating that bundle of nerves with each deep thrust.
She moans through full lips and her eyes flutter shut. “Fiero—”
My cock twitches when she breathes my name.
“You’re doing so good, Pfeiffer.”
I edge while I prepare for her release. I know it’s coming, I can feel it in the tightening of her warm pussy, her shortening breaths and fluttering lashes.
“Tell me to come inside you,” I whisper, softly.
“Yes—” she breathes, moving her mouth against mine. “Come inside me, Fiero.”
My mind empties of everything but the feel of her gripping me tightly, rocking her hips up to my pelvis as I stimulate her clit.
I hold on until her spine bends and her head tips back. Her mouth falls open and she almost screams. I’ve dreamed about this moment for most of my life. The moment when I fill Pfeiffer McAllister with so much of my come, it will be running out of her for days.
Her pussy squeezes my cock, trying to hold it in deep as she rides out her orgasm. When her head lifts, a wave of lust thunders into me, tilting my tailbone. I drive right up to her cervix, burying myself deep, just in time for my cock to thicken.
I come hard, crushing my mouth against hers. She releases me and runs her hands up the back of my neck, soaking her fingers in my sweat. She holds me to her lips and captures every moan as I come undone.
As the tremors soften and I come around to the feel of her tongue sliding across mine, my lips sweeping against hers, I’m stunned.
Sex has never felt like this for me.
Perhaps it’s because I always used a condom before and the fact I just came inside her has unleashed some kind of caveman-like urge to possess her, but I don’t want to pull out. I don’t want to part from her. I don’t want to let her out of my sight.
I’ve just had a taste of true ecstasy, and something deep inside my marrow tells me that no amount of craved revenge will ever, ever rival that.