26. Naina
Chapter Twenty-Six
NAINA
I am not a huge dessert person, but I love a good apple crisp.
My favorite dessert is kheer. It’s Indian rice pudding, usually served with lots of nuts.
Kash was wrong about one thing. It wasn’t that I suffered from decision paralysis. I suffered from not being able to trust myself and that made me hesitant to take any action, including trusting other people. Because I had once been in the position where I had trusted someone, and they had taken advantage of my weakness.
It was why I thought I couldn’t trust Kash despite him saving us from being homeless and saving my sister from having a criminal record. And despite the fact that we made out in my kitchen.
When we first met, I used to have these silly little daydreams that he would find me and walk into my office to ask me on a date. I had no idea then that he was Kash Sutherland, and I hadn’t even given him my first name. Still, the stupid thing about daydreams was that we always think they will come true.
I never expected it to come true in this way. To have him walk into the Inn with no memory of that night or who I was. Even though it hurt my heart to think about, I knew it was probably for the best. Kash could have been mine, but Kassius Baron James Sutherland could never be.
I lifted my left hand, looking at my ring once again.
This is your ring. My ring, for you, and only you.
It was a beautiful ring. The band twisting like vines, small leaf shaped diamonds on the band leading up to the big solitaire. The floral inspiration was unmistakable.
Why did he have to do this? Why was he making it so hard to walk away from him? My feet already seemed to stand still where he was concerned and with every little gesture of his, I found myself walking towards him instead of away.
Though, these gestures meant nothing to him if the complete radio silence over the last two weeks meant anything. Oh, he still texted me every morning at exactly six to let me know some obscure fact about him, and that was it.
I turned over in bed, my hand reaching for my phone and pulling up my messages with him. His message from this morning stared back at me.
I don’t eat chocolate.
I almost laughed at that, and his ability to find the driest information about himself. I had a new sense of appreciation for these little tidbits he shared with me. Because it was proof that he wasn’t just someone’s creation. He was Kash. My Kash.
Hey.
I sent the message before I had a second thought. I hadn’t contact him because I thought he needed the space. Also, because I didn’t know what to say after that kiss in the kitchen.
Now, I realized that giving Kash space was exactly the wrong thing to do. All he ever had was space away from everyone. He didn’t need to do that with me.
It was only when he didn’t reply that I noted the time. Half past one in the middle of the night. I was an idiot.
Throwing my phone on the bed, I turned onto my side and hugged the other pillow to my chest. My phone lit up with a message.
Shouldn’t you be asleep?
Did I wake you? I’m sorry. I’m not a good sleeper.
You didn’t wake me. I was working.
I frowned, not liking that answer. He always messaged me at six in the morning, always. So if he worked until the middle of the night, when did he sleep?
Do you always work this late?
Yes.
I don’t sleep well either.
Raging insomniacs, party of two.
What a pair we make.
I sat up a little, a strange lump lodging in my throat.
I wish I could see you.
I groaned, throwing my phone on the bed and covering my heated my face with my hands. Why did I have to send him that? I was ridiculous.
My phone buzzed beside me. I slowly lowered my hands until I could open my eyes and stare at my ceiling. There was a bottle shaped stain in the corner that I had been staring at since I was a little girl. On the days when I felt I was drifting away and nothing around me was real, that stain was my only connection to the real world.
I picked up my phone.
Do you miss me, sweetheart?
Yes.
Do you have your laptop?
I glanced at my dresser, on top of which rested my laptop.
Yes.
Open it.
Throwing off my covers, I quickly got out of bed, grabbed my laptop and got back in bed. Resting my back against my cloud of pillows, I pulled my blanket over myself and opened my laptop.
Almost as soon as I did, a notification appeared in the corner showing that Kash was trying to video call me. Swallowing, I clicked accept before I could chicken out of it.
Kash’s face appeared on my screen and my heart fluttered.
“Hi,” I said, softly.
The way he smiled at me made me feel like the sun had just risen, burning away all the fog and taking away the chill. It warmed me from the inside.
“So you miss me?”
“I saw you more when I wasn’t married to you,” I said. “You’ve grown a consistent, annoying presence in my life.”
“Baby, you don’t have to make up excuses to see me.”
I let my eyes rove over his face. How could someone be a stranger yet so familiar? The strangest thing was, this feeling of familiarity had been there the night we first met as well. A part of me just thought of him as mine. Maybe I won’t have him forever, but I had him for now.
I raised my shoulder in a shrug. “It felt like you were avoiding me and I didn’t want to be a nuisance.”
Kash leaned back and I noted for the first time that he was shirtless, and probably also in bed.
“I haven’t been avoiding you, I’m just busy. I won’t play mind games with you, Naina. Any time it feels you I’m avoiding you, it’s because I am busy with work.”
I liked Kash like this, soft and unguarded. To the rest of the world, he was Kassius Sutherland, heir to the SFV empire.
For me, he was the man who trusted me enough to know him, even though I didn’t deserve his trust. I wanted to wrap him up and hide him from the world, keep the soft parts of him safe.
I understood now why he hid himself. If I could do nothing else for him in this temporary marriage of ours, then I could at least show him that he was worth everything.
That I could love him if I wasn’t scared of losing him because he wasn’t mine to begin with.
“Is it because of what’s being reported on the news?” I asked.
Two days after the dreaded dinner, every news channel was reporting about SFV’s newest property in New York.
Apparently, it used to be a chemical factory and in recent years had been used as a secret party house for the rich and famous. Except about ten years ago, there had been a mass murder there which had been covered up by the authorities.
It was being speculated that SFV knew about it and was part of the cover up because it was prime real estate.
I wondered what my strait-laced, never-did-anything-wrong-in-their-lives parents would have thought about me being married to a billionaire. Admittedly, Kash wasn’t his family, but he did carry their name and their legacy. Just like I carried the burden of mine.
If we didn’t, would we even be here today?
“Yeah. I don’t know how we keep finding ourselves in these fucked up situations but here we are,” Kash said. “I have to go to New York and deal with it.”
“Isn’t there someone else who can deal with it? Can’t you delegate?”
His eyes shifted to the side and I saw a paw swipe out before either Lucy or Jo appeared on screen. She nudged up against Kash’s shoulder before disappearing again.
“There she goes, out the door again. She’ll avoid me the whole day and then come in at night. She only wants affection on her own terms, so sometimes she will curl up on the bed beside me and other times it’s like this.”
He was so cute with his cats. It was unexpected.
Hearing a thud, I sat up.
“Give me a minute, I’ll be right back.”
Setting the laptop aside, I got out of bed and left my room. The thud sounded like it came from Sami’s room next to mine. Her door was slightly ajar and I pushed it open all the way.
My sister was sprawled out on her bed and I found the culprit right away. Her e-reader, which had fallen off the bed. Setting it back on the nightstand, I went back to my room.
“Sorry, I just wanted to check up on Sami.”
There was an alertness to Kash’s eyes that had been missing before.
“Naina, what are you wearing?”
I looked down at myself. I was wearing a black silk nightdress with the thinnest straps and cream lace edging. The front was a little too low cut.
“Oh, it’s something Gia sent over along with a whole new wardrobe. Which was completely unnecessary, by the way.”
I wasn’t complaining, though. Where else was I going to find designer clothes and a designer to curate them for me for free? I was considering it a perk.
“Do you like it?” I ran a teasing finger along the edge of lace barely covering my breasts. “It’s pretty, isn’t it?”
Goosebumps rose along my flesh even as my body heated from the unbridled lust I saw in his eyes.
“Pretty isn’t the word I would use,” he said, eyes never leaving my chest. His tongue swiped across his bottom lip before he pulled it into his mouth.
“Show me,” he said.
“Show you what? The nightdress?” I tilted my head innocently.
“Sweetheart, you know exactly what I want to see. Don’t be a tease.”
“I don’t know. I’m getting kind of tired.”
I pulled at the neckline to almost reveal a nipple before moving my hand away.
“Naina,” Kash growled. “Please.”
“Now look who’s begging.”
Reaching up, I grabbed my hair to pull it up, causing the nightdress to stretch across my chest, clearly outlining my hardened nipples.
Kash groaned, cursing softly.
Tying up my hair with the hair tie I had on my wrist, I said, “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”
“Deal.”
He set his laptop beside him, and suddenly I could see his whole body. He was wearing cotton pajamas and the thick outline of his cock under them was unmistakable. Reaching under, he wrapped a fist around himself and then his thick, beautiful cock was filling the screen, stealing the air from my lungs.
I moaned, my body clenching with need. God, he was perfect everywhere. How was it even possible? From that sculpted torso to that thick, veiny cock, pure, masterful perfection.
“You like what you see?”
I nodded, my eyes on his hand as he roughly tugged at his shaft.
“It’s going to fuck you so good, baby.”
My body clenched.
“A deal’s a deal.” He nodded towards my chest.
I pushed the straps off my shoulders until the lace was barely clinging to my nipples. With one tug, my breasts were free. Even through the screen, I could feel Kash’s hot gaze as it flicked over me.
“Fuck, you’re so beautiful. Touch yourself for me.”
Setting the laptop down, I wrapped both hands around my breasts, feeling their weight on my palms.
“I bet they feel amazing,” Kash murmured. “I didn’t get long enough with them.”
“They do, but I was rather it was you touching me.”
My own hands weren’t as desperate and eager as I sure his would be.
“Soon, baby, I promise.”
I plucked at my nipples until they were stiff, aching points. My pussy was aching and wet, my clit throbbing to be touched. Sitting up on my knees, I trailed a hand down my body to touch myself.
Something about doing this for him, having his eyes trained on me and knowing that I was driving him as wild and desperate as I was for him, was making me hot beyond belief.
“The other hand,” Kash said. “If you’re going to make yourself come, use the hand with my ring on it.”
I moaned, switching to my left hand. I brushed a finger over my clit, my hips nearly rocking off the bed at the sensation. Usually, if I needed to get off, I made it quick by using the vibrator buried in my underwear drawer.
“I want to see,” Kash said, voice rough. “Be a good girl, and spread your legs for me.”
My breath shuddered out of me and I spread my thighs, letting him see my hand between my legs. It was obscene, the way I was spread out before him, my body barely clothed.
Kash’s gaze roved over my half-naked body just as mine did his. I loved how forceful and rough his movements were as he stroked himself. His desperation obvious in the way he used his body.
“I can’t wait to taste you again. I want to bury my face in your cunt and make you come over and over again until you’re boneless. I’m going to make you count every single orgasm.”
“Kash,” I moaned. Pushing two fingers into my soaking pussy, I rubbed the heel of my hand on my clit. With my other hand, I gripped my breast, plucking at my nipple. My belly clenched at the sensation.
“Do you like doing this? Having your legs spread while I watch, your pussy on display for me? Do you like knowing I am using your body to get off?”
“I do,” I replied honestly. “I like it when you watch me.”
I braced my hand on the bed, my thighs clenching to create more pressure and friction. I was wetter than I had ever been before, my arousal dripping down my hand, my body making wet noises each time I pushed my fingers inside.
It embarrassed and aroused me to think Kash could probably hear it.
“Be a good wife and come with me.”
I was so horny all it took was the lightest pressure of my heel on my clit and I was coming. Biting my lip to keep from making any noises, I gripped the sheets, thighs clamping around my hand as waves of pleasure wrought through my body. The only thing that made it better was watching the way my orgasm triggered Kash’s, his body tightening as his strokes sped up.
“Fuck,” he groaned as thick ropes of come shot out across his stomach.
We caught our breaths before mutually agreeing to clean up and come back to bed.
This time, we laid on our sides, our laptops in the place the other person would be on the bed.
“That was nice,” I said, watching him. Now that I could see him, I wished I could touch him.
“Again, nice is not the word I would use,” Kash said.
“What would you use?”
“Hot. Salacious. Arousing. Dirty. Erotic. Pornographic.” He shrugged. “Pick one.”
I covered my mouth to hide my yawn. “I think I like arousing.”
We watched each other in silence and my eyes were almost drooping shut when he said, “Come with me to New York.”
When I left New York, I swore to myself I would never go back. I was cutting it out of my life completely because the dreams I had for my life were nothing but a soul sucking chasm.
Kat was my only connection to New York, and we agreed that when we met, it would be on vacation somewhere in the tropics.
But for Kash? For Kash I would go anywhere. Heaven, hell, purgatory. What was New York? It didn’t matter that he wasn’t mine forever. He was mine for now. Even when I daydreamed about him, I never imagined him being mine forever.
Maybe it had never been a possibility for us.
“Okay,” I whispered. “I’ll come to New York.”
The smile he gave me in return was worth everything.
I let my eyes fall shut.
“Are you going to fall asleep?” Kash asked, his voice distant.
“No.”
In the end, that turned out to be a lie as well. I fell into a deep, dreamless sleep for the first time in years.