29. Naina
Chapter Twenty-Nine
NAINA
Thinking of all the things we could do if you were in my bed. Did you bring that nightdress?
Your train of thought has diverted. I suggest you get off at the next station and come back to the land of common sense.
I got dressed as soon as I saw the sun coming up. After I showered, I dried my hair and put it up in rollers while I did my make-up. The concealer was going to be my savior today.
Sometimes it’s hard to see what’s right in front of us. Until then, you have me, and I promise I will remind you every day how fucking brilliant you are.
What was it that Kash saw in me that I didn’t? Where was the confidence he saw that I had been searching for for years?
If I wasn’t careful, I was going to leave behind the crush and tumble headfirst into love.
My make-up done, I slipped into a white sundress that Gia had sent. It was off-the-shoulders, and the material was thin to battle New York’s June heat.
Lucy sat in the corner of the bathroom, watching me remove my rollers.
“Don’t tell your father where I am going,” I said. “I’ll be back soon.”
Picking up one of the white purses Gia had included, I transferred my wallet into it, added my lip-gloss and phone, and picked up my sandals.
I tiptoed down the hallway and stairs, like a burglar. The apartment was quiet, but it was after six, which meant Kash was probably awake. If he had gone to sleep at all. Once I was in the elevator and travelling down, I released a breath of relief.
I did not miss travelling on the subway in the morning. As someone who got sensory overload, travelling on the subway in the morning work commute had been the worst. Not even my headphones playing my favorite songs helped eased the panic I felt being trapped with all those people.
Kat still lived in the same apartment we had shared. It was an old warehouse turned apartment building in Brooklyn, and because it was rent-controlled, she could still afford it on her salary.
Plus, it helped that she was Kathleen Covington, the heiress to the Covington Media empire. Even though she had had cut ties off with her father, I knew he still sent her a monthly stipend.
A woman dressed in leggings and a crop top was coming out of the building as I climbed the steps, and I slipped into the cool lobby, taking the elevator to the top floor. There were only four floors.
Kat and I became friends ten years ago when, at sixteen, she left her father’s house after a fight and came to stay at the Inn.
My mother loved helping people who needed well, mothers, hence why she took to Kat just as she did Nick.
Kat and I bonded over a lot of things, including our shared half-Asian heritage. Her mother was Korean.
I thumped on the apartment door until my fist ached. Kat was a heavy sleeper, a fact I always envied.
“Better get ready to be murdered, you fucking psycho!”
She flung the door open, a furious look on her face. She was still wearing her pajamas and working some serious bedhead. Her eyes widened when she saw me, the fury disappearing.
“Naina?”
“I’m married,” I announced.
Thirty minutes later, having spilled the beans, I sat on a kitchen stool. Kat was standing across from me, blinking sleepily and nursing her coffee. I was exhausted, but far too jittery to consume any coffee.
“Let me get this straight,” Kat said. “You met him five years ago, but you didn’t tell me?”
“Kat!” I laughed helplessly.
Finishing her cup, she poured more coffee, hazel eyes trained on me.
“I feel like I should be angry that you didn’t tell me you were getting married, or that it’s a marriage of convenience, or that you needed money to renovate the Inn. Which I could have helped you with, by the way.”
I knew the consequences of violating the NDA, but the buzzing in my head was killing me and I needed to talk to someone. As for the money, there was only one way she could have helped, and I didn’t want her doing that.
“Remember when you were behind on your half of the rent and I covered? You didn’t even call your dad then. I wasn’t going to have you call him now. This isn’t rent money, Kat. It’s a lot of money, which my family lost because his family opened up a resort on Pebble Beach.”
Granted, the Windfield had been struggling long before the Evergreen came along. But the Evergreen had exacerbated that struggle.
Kat’s relationship with her father had been strained for as long as I had known her. Every few months, they went through a phase of having weekly chats, and then it was radio silence again.
Kat nodded. “It’s kind of like he owes you.”
I placed my chin on my fist.
“I don’t think he owes me. It’s an SFV resort, it offers world class amenities and a golf course. Windfield doesn’t have that. Surprisingly, it’s not what I am worried about.”
Kat sat down her coffee cup and pulled her long dark hair into a bun. I needed something to do, so I stood up and opened the fridge.
“Kat, you have no food in here. It’s all takeout containers.”
“You were the cook!” Kat protested. “Let me get dressed, we’ll go out.”
She motioned me into her bedroom, and I sat down on her bed while she walked into her tiny closet.
“You have an insane attraction to your fake husband, and he reciprocates. But you are both resistant to a long-term thing. My question is, why the hell did you only find a Sutherland to marry? Were there no other rich men available?”
I should have been surprised at her ability to take the news of my marriage in stride, but I wasn’t. The shelves overflowing with romance novels had made her an optimist.
“What do you mean? It’s not like there are other rich men around who were being forced to marry to save their family’s reputation.”
If anyone knew anything about the Sutherlands, it would be Kat. She grew up in the Carmel Highlands, part of the same crowd as the Sutherlands.
She stepped out of the closet, wearing white flowy pants and a lavender tank top, her hair pulled into a loose braid.
“Have you met his family? They are the meanest people ever. Dad actually forbade me from ever talking to them.”
Kash’s words echoed in my mind. I definitely believed that.
My family wants me to get married and I am not interested in that, with anyone. No marriage, no relationship.
There were those words and then there were his actions since. What did I believe? I stared at the ring he had given me, the one he had specifically designed for me.
My wife. My ring.
“He said he likes looking into my eyes and seeing himself reflected in them. He wants to live there.”
All flurry of activity stopped. Something thumped to the ground, and I looked over to see that Kat had dropped one of her espadrille wedges, her mouth wide open.
“Wow.” She held up a hand. “Of all the things on my bingo card this year, I never expected Kash Sutherland to be a, a romantic, and b, absolutely fucking gone for you.”
I fell back on her bed with a groan.
“Of all the things on my bingo card, I never expected to be married to Kash Sutherland.”
It wasn’t that I wasn’t trying to learn from my mistakes. It was why when I went back to California, I promised myself that my only priorities would be Samira and getting the Inn back on track and profitable. It’s why I sent Samira to therapy, why I spent days and nights trying to find ways to salvage whatever was left of the Inn. The restaurant was great because of Sonia, but it wasn’t enough to finance the entire renovation or keep us financially stable for the long run.
Then one day walked in Kash. I should have known he was going to mess things up then. My own stupidity landed me here.
“It’s okay, we can be fuck ups together.” The bed dipped as Kat laid down next to me.
“Are you saying I should give in?”
“Do you want to give in?”
I sighed, turning my head to look at her.
“When he looks at me, it’s like I’m the only thing he sees. It’s like gravity, holding me steady. How do you resist gravity? It’s exhausting. Sometimes I think I’m standing at the edge of a cliff and when I fall, there won’t be anything to catch me.”
Whatever Kat was about to say was stopped by a knock on the door. I raised my hand to look at my watch. It had been a little over an hour since I felt the apartment.
“I’m popular today,” Kat said.
“It’s Kash.”
Kat arched a brow. “How do you know?”
“I know my husband.”
It was strange to realize, but I did know him, a lot better than I had last month. God, we had already been married for a month. Time was flying by too fast and I wanted to slow it down so I could decide if I was ready to move with it.
I stood up, and led the way out of Kat’s bedroom to the front door. Kat peeked through the peephole and looked back at me, her brows raised in question. I nodded. I wasn’t hiding from Kash.
Swiftly turning the lock, she pulled the door open. My husband stood on the threshold, in a grey suit, white shirt, no tie, his dark hair swept back messily. As soon as his eyes met mine it was like something hooked into me, that gravitational pull holding me steady.
“According to New York State penal code you can get a ninety days to seven years prison term for stalking,” I said.
“It’s also illegal to wear a mask unless you’re at a party,” Kash said.
I frowned in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“I thought we were just stating random laws.” Kash looked at my best friend, his mouth lifting into a charming smile. “Kathleen, may I come in?”
I saw Kat falter, powerless against that smile and the twinkle in those blue eyes. She stepped out of the way and waved him in. The apartment suddenly felt smaller with him inside it.
He tugged at his cuffs, looking around the apartment. It was surprisingly big for New York, lots of living space but the bedrooms were smaller. Ten of these apartments could fit into his.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“My wife disappeared from my apartment this morning without a word to anyone,” he said. “What do you think I’m doing here?”
Behind him, Kat’s eyes widened. “My wife,” she mouthed gleefully, giving me two thumbs up.
“Disappear implies you were unable to find me, yet here you are. It’s been about an hour.”
“Exactly,” Kash said.
I really was starting to know him. He considered the hour he had given me a leeway. More than that and I was crossing the line, testing his patience and his boundaries.
“Kat, can I use my old bedroom to talk to my husband quickly?”
“Sure, take your time,” Kat said, laughing. She sat down on the couch and picked up her e-reader.
I turned and walked to the door on the other side of the living rom, on the opposite side of Kat’s room. I didn’t have to look behind me to make sure Kash was following. I could feel the pressure of his presence.
“This was your room?” Kash looked around. It was bare now, except for the bed and mattress. “It’s a closet.”
There was just enough room for the bed, and not much else.
“Well, excuse me, Mr. I Have An Apartment in Every Major City. Not all of us can afford that.”
“I don’t have an apartment in every major city,” Kash said, offended. “Usually, I just stay in one of our hotels or resorts.”
“Ugh!” I groaned. “Do you hear the words that come out of your mouth or is it just white noise?”
He had situated himself in front of the door, blocking the only exit. I wasn’t scared of him, only scared of being alone with him because I couldn’t control my reaction to him.
If only my body wanted him, I would be able to resist. But my mind wanted him, as well. Wanted to know him, and wanted him to know me. It wanted to engage.
He looked about as exhausted as I felt. The last time I had a good night’s sleep was…with him, either on the video call or on the phone the night before our wedding. Though he hadn’t been with me, he made me safer than I had felt in the longest time.
“What are you doing here, Naina?”
“That’s fairly obvious.” I motioned to the door behind him, indicating my best friend who was on the other side of it. “What doesn’t make sense is why you thought it was appropriate to come here.”
Kash stepped forward, and I automatically took a step back. He didn’t like that.
“You can’t leave the apartment without telling anyone. How can I keep you safe if you’re off running around the city?”
That dissolved my anger a little. That was sweet. Crazy, but sweet.
“I lived here for years,” I said gently. “I’m not running around, I’m visiting my best friend, in the apartment we shared. You don’t have to be paranoid. In fact, I am making this a condition. You can’t follow me around and I can go anywhere I please.”
I sat down on the bed, looking up at Kash. He made me want to throw away all my inhibitions. Just be the person he thought he saw because she sounded amazing.
I was kind of a mess.
“Do you remember what we discussed the night of our wedding?” Kash asked. His voice was soft, but I wasn’t deceived in the least.
How could I forget? Apparently, I had signed my life away to the devil with that promise.
“You can’t hold that against me,” I said.
Kash laughed. “Let me get this straight. You expect me to keep my end of the bargain while you’re not going to keep yours?”
“You make me crazy. You want things that are too hard to give.”
Suddenly, he was looming over me, hands pressed on the mattress on either side of me, face close to mine. I leaned back, my heart in my throat, though there was no room for escape.
“If you want space, you can have it, sweetheart. That doesn’t mean I am going to leave you alone and forget about you.”
His eyes burned into my mine, and I found myself incapable of looking away.
“I’m a businessman, Naina. I don’t make deals until I know it’s exactly what I want. Once I make the deal, I see it through and I make sure there are no liabilities, nothing that will affect my investment. I protect what’s mine, and you are mine.”
Kash shifted close and somehow, I could feel the weight of his body pressing me down, and yet no part of him was actually touching me. My heart thundered inside my chest, and I couldn’t breathe because if I did, I would be assaulted by his scent.
“Why are you doing this to me?”
Kash dipped down, his lips brushing against mine in a barely there kiss.
“This is the bargain you made, Naina. You want to know me, so you have to offer something in return. You wanted to play your little game and you said you’re brave enough to take what comes next. Since you seem confused about what that could be, I’ll make it easy. I want you . Your body, your mind, that smart mouth. All of it.”
Maybe Kash was right. My personality was ‘fuck around and find out’. I was now realizing that marrying Kash was not a choice I was ready to deal with. Anger and indignation surged through me because this was not my fault.
Placing a hand on his chest, I pushed him away with all the force I could muster. Kash took a startled step back, mouth parting in surprise.
“At this point, I don’t care what you want.” I stood up, moving toward the door. “This is false advertising. You cannot tell me you want one thing and change your mind a month later. That’s not how it works.”
I turned to open the door but Kash placed his hand flat on the surface, slamming the door shut. He loomed behind me, pressing my body between him and the door.
His breath tickled my skin and sent tingles down my spine, making goosebumps rise along my arms.
“What makes you think I changed my mind? That I haven’t wanted you all this time?”
I groaned, letting my head fall back. “Why are you obsessed with me?”
Kash chuckled, the sound reverberating through me.
“Don’t pretend you don’t like it.”
I pushed back against him and this time, he stepped away easily. Pulling open the door, I stepped out of the room, turning to look at him.
“I don’t like it,” I snapped. “You’re driving me mad.”
The sound of his laughter followed me out of the room. Made all the more annoying by the fact my words had been a blatant, fat lie.