38. Naina
Chapter Thirty-Eight
NAINA
I’ve never played a sport.
I ran track in high school.
My phone buzzed as soon as we landed in Chicago, and I pulled it out to see a message from Sami.
She didn’t want to come to Chicago, and I was more than happy to let her stay away from Kash’s family. My sister was staying in New York with Kat, and Lucy, and Jo.
Kash hadn’t thought it prudent to bring his cats on this trip because he was going to be busy working, and he didn’t trust his family with pets. I didn’t even trust them with humans.
“Look.”
I showed my phone to Kash, on which I had loaded the photo Samira sent me. It was of her with Lucy and Jo wrapped around her.
Kash offered a small smile and I sighed, putting my phone back into my pocket. I honestly didn't know what to do, or what he needed from me. I had no idea what would make him feel better as he got more tense the closer we flew to Chicago. By the time we landed, his body was rigid and the muscle in his jaw was jumping.
I could only imagine it had to do with his father. The relaxed Kash I had yesterday was gone.
As we drove to the hotel, Kash held my hand in his and his phone in the other. His thumb flew across the screen as he typed emails and messages.
Maybe I shouldn’t have forced myself on this trip. I had done it out of purely selfish reasons, too. The idea of going back to Carmel and starting renovations on the Windfield left me breathless, and not in the ways Kash made me breathless.
Sami kept throwing me these suspicious glances, as if she expected me to bring up selling the Inn again. I won’t do that. If she wanted to keep it, we would. The fact was, she was going back to college in a couple of months, and I would be left behind at the Windfield, all alone.
I looked at Kash, his profile tense as his eyes moved across the screen. My stomach swooped with nerves and pure want.
How did he do it? How was he able to go to work and see his father everyday despite the trauma? He was a lot stronger than I was.
I worried about him. I worried that he was going to hate me. And I was scared out of my mind that as illogical as it seemed, a part of me might already be in love with him. Maybe had fallen in love with him five years ago and I just hadn’t realized.
I undid my seatbelt and slid across the seat, resting my head on his shoulder. If Kash was surprised by the move, he didn’t show it. His lips brushed my head in a gentle kiss.
It didn’t help that he acted like this. That he told me he wanted me. It didn’t help that hope bloomed in my chest, making me want to believe that maybe Kash had waited for me.
And that was the first indication that I might be in love. Because how stupid was that? He could have had anyone; he’d been on plenty of dates, there was social proof. It must be as he said, he’d just never met anyone to bring them into this mess.
If I thought otherwise, I was just going to make this heartbreak worse for myself.
The hotel was gorgeous. A shard of black glass rising into the sky, the interior was modern art deco and so quiet. The marble tiled floor gleamed so brightly I could see my reflection in it.
The lobby furniture looked uncomfortable, to say the least. It was as if they didn’t want anyone to linger here. A coffee shop was located adjacent to the lobby, but not a chain one.
Oh no, that wasn’t the SFV brand. This one seemed an independent brand with a French name.
Our footsteps echoed in the lobby as we walked to the reception desk. The man working behind it looked up from his computer and gave us the biggest smile. The tag on his lapel said his name was Jonathan Petrowski.
“Mr. and Mrs. Sutherland, we’ve been waiting for you. Your suite is ready.” He slid a small black envelope across the counter. “Kenny will bring your bags up. In the meantime, is there anything I can help with?”
“Has my family checked in?” Kash asked.
“Yes, Mr. Sutherland.”
“Are we on the same floor as them?”
Jonathan glanced at me briefly, and I saw the flutter of curiosity in his eyes before he looked back at Kash. I wasn’t exactly dressed to impress, or like I matched the description of a woman who could be Mrs. Sutherland.
I was wearing leggings and a dress shirt I had borrowed from Kash paired with my old running shoes. Now, I wished I had worn something Gia had sent.
“Yes, sir,” Jonathan said.
“Change it.” Kash slid the keys back across the counter. “As far away from them as possible.”
Jonathan carried the order expediently, and off we went to the eighteenth floor. The family was staying on one of the higher floors.
“I’m going to be busy for the next few days running through some last-minute things,” Kash said, when we were in the elevator. I was looking at the mirrored surface which reflected an infinity of us back to me.
“Goldie.” I felt a tug on my hand, and I looked at Kash, realizing the elevator doors were open and he was already outside.
“Sorry,” I mumbled, stepping out.
Kash brought our joined hands to his mouth and kissed the back of mine. Turning, he led us to the door of our room.
“You don’t have to be here,” he reminded me again. “I can take them talking shit about me, but not about you.”
The door closed behind us and I removed my hand from his, slipping my arms around his waist. I arched up to kiss his neck, slipping my tongue out to lick the salt off his skin.
It had been hours since he was inside me, and despite the fact that my entire body ached, I wanted him again.
“What would you do to them?” I whispered.
Kash cradled my face in his hands.
“I would destroy them,” he said simply. “I would take away everything they love, all the things they hold dear. I would make it so no one ever went near them again without fearing for their own reputation. They would beg and plead and when they are lonely and isolated, I would give them a bit of hope only to take it away again. No one should know happiness and peace if they have disrespected my wife.”
I swallowed, fisting my hands into his shirt. The way he was looking at me, the intensity behind his eyes, I had no doubt he meant it. Why was he doing this to me?
“That’s barbaric,” I whispered.
Kash lowered his mouth to mine in a long, lingering kiss. His tongue flicked and teased mine.
He pulled back and rested his forehead against mine.
“I never said I was civilized.”
“You couldn’t have told me that before we got married?”
He chuckled, turning me around and leading me further into the room.
“If I had, you wouldn’t have married me.”
He wasn’t wrong. Then again, I was desperate enough to have married him despite the consequences. A little barbaric behavior was nothing I couldn’t handle.
“You don’t have to protect me, Naina. There’s nothing you can do against them.”
I pulled back and cupped his face between my hands, the same way he did to me. I wanted to make sure he was looking at me when I told him what I thought.
“That’s not true. I can be here, and I can remind you every day that they don’t deserve you. That everything they say about you and think about you is wrong. I know you. I see you. They can’t take that away from you because they can’t take me away.”
Kash’s mouth descended on mine again, hot and eager, his tongue licking into my mouth and tasting me like I was the best thing he had ever tasted.
“Tell me not to fuck you against this door,” he breathed.
“You can do it, I don’t mind.”
He laughed, trailing kisses down my neck.
“You’re sore. Don’t think I didn’t notice. I don’t want to hurt you.”
Even as he said it, he pinched my hardened nipple through the lace of my bra. The bite of pain shot straight down to my clit.
I moaned, squeezing my legs together. His hands travelled to my back and cupped my ass, gripping tightly, his fingers digging into my soft flesh.
“Fuck, you have the most perfect ass. I hope you let me fuck it one day.”
Before I could register his words or reply to them, he kissed me again.
“I have to go,” he said, pulling back. “I really have to go. They’re waiting for me.”
With one last, forceful kiss, he walked out the door, leaving me reeling. I sat down on the couch, picking up a pillow to bury my scream into it. I could use my hand to get off, but my pussy had gotten a taste of Kash, and I knew it needed him.
It would take a long, long time before it stopped needing him.
The hotel room was just as gorgeous as the one I had been in San Francisco the night before our wedding, except the decor was in whites and cream, with a hint of color here and there to keep it from looking bland. There was a walk-in closet, a plush couch, a dining table for six, and French doors which led into the large bedroom.
But I found I couldn’t sit here and wait for Kash to come back. I grabbed my purse and went for a walk to clear my head.