44. Naina
Chapter Forty-Four
NAINA
Sometimes when I read a thriller, I think I could do that.
That’s funny because I just finished reading one, and I would love to try out the very creative method of murder on someone *blinks innocently*.
I wasn’t sure how he was accomplishing it with how busy he was, but Kash was actually driving me crazy.
The man said we were pretend, right? Not temporary, which I already knew.
Any hopes I had that this relationship would be the be-all end-all relationship were always shot out the window when I reminded myself that Kash never said we would last beyond the six months.
But pretend? That felt like a stab through the heart.
It said that everything that happened between us up until now meant nothing to him, because I meant nothing to him.
And when he did sweet stuff for me, I wondered who he was doing it for.
Why was he sending me hot water bottles for my period cramps? Essential oil and Epsom salt for my bath? Why the hell did he have Grayson posted outside our room like my prison guard?
It was all driving me crazy.
Which was why, two days after my accident and two days after I was discharged and came back to the hotel, I woke up early and got dressed, stepping out of the room in an off the shoulder’s yellow sundress.
Grayson straightened from his post, brown eyes immediately alert.
“Mrs. Sutherland, did you need something?”
I could only imagine what Kash had said to him because Grayson had been ever more vigilant and refused to leave my side.
“I’m going out for coffee.”
Kat and Sami would probably still be asleep. Kash had given them rooms on the same floor as us so they could be close to me.
“I don’t think Mr. Sutherland would like that,” Grayson said.
I nodded, pressing the button to call the elevator.
“He’s your boss, Grayson. Not mine.”
Grayson stepped into the elevator with me, and the doors shut. I looked up at him as we travelled down.
He was a very stoic man, tall and built like a football player. His dark hair was kept in a neat trim, and I wondered if he had a standard appointment every two weeks to keep it uniform.
“Do you have a first name, Grayson? Or are you a one name wonder?”
Grayson looked down at me.
“My first name is David.”
“Which do you prefer?” I asked.
“Grayson is fine, Mrs. Sutherland.”
Of course, it was. It made sense that Kash had a head of security like Grayson. My husband guarded his secrets, thoughts, and emotions like a dragon. By all appearances, Grayson was the same way. The lives of the party, these two.
I exited the elevator with Grayson following closely behind me.
“We should take the car,” he said.
“Grayson, I was the one who had the accident, right? And I’m fine walking the streets of Chicago.”
It certainly wasn’t my first brush with death, not that I was looking to repeat the experience. But Kash worked with his father every day despite him being a vile, cruel man.
If Kash could face his trauma every day, then I needed to learn a thing or two from my husband.
I could be brave.
Besides, the only thing holding on to my fear had done was make me lonely. I used to think Kash was lonely because he chose it when the truth was, I was too, and I hadn’t chosen it.
My parents had created a warm, safe home for us, and I’d grown up surrounded by love and people who loved me. My fear chased away all that happiness, washed away the safety.
It was still too early in the morning and the only people out and about were those heading to work. There was a long line of people at the coffee shop, and I got in behind them, Grayson next to me.
He kept a safe distance between us and people turned to look at us curiously. I saw the questions in their eyes, wondering if I was someone important.
“Have you worked for Kash a long time?” I asked.
“Five years.”
“Do you like working for him?”
“Yes, Mrs. Sutherland.”
The master of monosyllabic answers.
“Why?” I asked.
Finally, Grayson glanced at me as we moved up a step in the line. He hesitated for a moment.
“He’s an undemanding employer, in many ways. The man I worked for before tended to party a lot and he liked a lot of party favors from people he should have stayed away from. I did it because it was a job. I have worked for Mr. Sutherland for five years and in all that time, the most exciting thing he has done is spend a week in Monte Carlo, and that was also for work. He’s man a who respects hard work and he’s a fair employer.”
Yeah, that’s what I suspected. The man didn’t have fun. He didn’t even have friends. Because he didn’t have the time. Because his father wouldn’t allow that.
I didn’t understand why I still cared. For Kash, our marriage wasn’t even one of temporary friendship. I thumbed my ring, looking down at it. The large diamond caught the sunlight streaming through the windows and sparkled.
Kash had put it back on my hand as soon as the doctor discharged me.
Up at the counter, I ordered the coffees and pastries, and Grayson and I carried everything back to the hotel.
I came to a stop when I saw Kash in the lobby, talking to a man of South Asian descent.
Kash looked up as soon as I walked in, his eyes narrowing in on us and the coffee cups in our hands.
He stalked across the lobby like a panther stalked its prey.
“What do you think you’re doing?” He demanded, face hardened with anger.
I poked my tongue into my cheek, wondering if I wanted to engage with him and participate in this pretense.
Picking up my coffee cup, I wrapped my lips around the straw and sucked deeply, watching with satisfaction as Kash’s eyes dropped to my mouth and darkened.
I sighed in satisfaction. “I went out to get coffee.”
“You should have asked Grayson or literally anyone else,” Kash said. “You’re supposed to be resting.”
I had been resting for the last three days as the doctor recommended.
“Am I a prisoner?” I asked.
Kash ground his jaw.
“You suffered a brain injury. This is not a joke.”
“Do you see me laughing? Even the doctor said I can do light physical activity after forty-eight hours.”
Kash’s eyes grew flinty.
“I don’t trust this doctor. We’ll consult another one.”
I groaned in frustration, massaging my forehead.
“You’re giving me a headache. I’m ignoring you now.”
He immediately grew worried, taking my arm in the gentlest of grasp and leading me to a chair.
It was quite possibly the most uncomfortable chair I had ever sat on, and I immediately started to protest until Kash crouched down in front of me. Taking the cup holder from me, he set it down on the table.
“Do you really have a headache? Maybe we should consult a neurologist,” Kash said. “Have you had anything to eat?”
“I--”
The worry in his blue eyes had me floored. Was it all just for show? For them? Why do this to me? It was so cruel.
Wordlessly, Grayson handed him a paper bag which had the lavender lemon loaf I bought for myself.
“Eat this,” Kash said, holding up the pastry to my mouth. With his other hand, he brushed my hair behind my ear.
I took a bite, but I didn’t taste the pastry, my cheeks growing red from the intensity in Kash’s eyes.
I swallowed the pastry, and the lump in my throat as I looked away, not wanting to fall victim to him again.
I looked at the man Kash was speaking with earlier.
“Hi, I’m Naina. I promise I’m not an invalid despite my husband’s insistence on treating me as one.”
The man smiled softly, looking oddly charmed.
“Rishi Gupta. I heard about your accident, Mrs. Sutherland. I hope you’re feeling better now.”
“I was until I had to deal with my husband’s surliness.”
Rishi coughed to cover up his laugh. Kash’s jaw clenched hard, and I worried he was going to cramp a muscle or crack a tooth.
“Can you please focus on eating?”
I bit off another piece.
“And I can usually feed myself,” I said after I swallowed.
“You’re distracting her,” Kash snapped.
God, it was like dealing with a petulant child even though I was the one being fed like one.
“What do you want him to do? Cease to exist?”
I was sure I heard him mumble something like, “it would be a start.”
Once I swallowed the last bite, Kash relaxed a smidge. The tiniest, tinniest smidge. If I focused really, really, really hard, I could see him relax.
“Good girl,” he said softly. “Now, you’re going to take your medication and you’re going to go back to the room where you’re going to do nothing but relax. I’m going to send the spa technicians up and you can get a massage as well.”
I was going to protest, but a massage did sound good. I was literally living in the lap of luxury. SFV hotels had top tier spas. I could enjoy this.
“Okay, but I don’t have my?—”
I was about to say I don’t have my medication—a dull headache was forming behind my eyelids—when Kash reached into the inside pocket of his coat and pulled out my painkillers.
My mouth parted as Kash’s cheeks tinged a faint red.
“Babe, if this is how you pretend, I can’t imagine what you would be like in a real relationship,” I whispered.
Kash’s face blanked, all hint of humor and frustration disappearing. He gave me the painkiller and I swallowed it, chasing it down with my coffee.
I didn’t know what this was, but it sure as hell didn’t feel like pretend.