Chapter 6
They'd been riding for perhaps two hours when Boyd suddenly dropped back from his position at the front. He pulled his destrier alongside Bella's mare, then raised his hand to signal his men.
"Give us some privacy," he ordered.
The guards obeyed without question, though Bella saw them exchange glances as they fell back.
Finally, he spoke, his voice low and rough. "We need to discuss the terms of this marriage."
"Terms?"
"Aye." Boyd still wouldn't look at her, his eyes fixed on the road ahead. "'Tis a marriage of convenience. Nothing more. 'Twas forced upon both of us, and I'll not pretend otherwise." Boyd knew he was lying but he proceeded anyway.
Bella kept her face carefully blank, even as her heart cracked a little more. "I see."
"Ye'll have yer own chambers at the Keep," Boyd continued.
"Ye'll want for nothing, fine clothes, jewels, whatever ye desire.
Ye'll be mistress of the household, and my people will show ye respect.
But..." He paused, and Bella saw his knuckles go white on the reins. "Dinnae expect anything more from me."
"More?" Bella asked.
Boyd finally turned to look at her, his blue eyes cold as winter ice. "Aye, wife. I have no intention of claiming my marital rights ever. Ye need not fear me sharing yer bed."
Bella felt heat flood her cheeks from the humiliation.
She was partly relieved. But beneath the relief was heartbreak. She had always wanted children of her own. Hoped that perhaps the future still held that dream. But it seemed that was not a possibility now.
"What about bairns?" she found herself asking against her own better judgement.
"I dinnae have need of any from our union."
Suddenly Bella had a stark realization. "Do ye already have children? What of their mother?"
"No. I have none by any woman. I have been careful to ensure I dinnae have a string of by-blows across Alba. My work for the king kept me away for much of the year. I had no wish for whelps I could not watch grow."
Bella felt those words pierce her heart.
Of course Boyd had other women, but no children.
No doubt if he was not seeking marital rights in her bed, he would be seeking them in others.
Isn't that what men of his ilk did? Her father was no different and neither was her brother Bryce. "Very well," she replied.
"Good." Boyd's voice was harsh, and she noticed the way his jaw clenched, the way a muscle jumped in his cheek. "Then we understand each other. Ye remain on yer side of the Keep, I'll remain on mine, and we'll both be better for it."
But even as he said the words, Boyd couldn't quite convince himself. Because sitting this close to Bella, seeing the way the sunlight caught in her hair, remembering the feel of her waist beneath his hands brought back feelings he'd long thought dead.
"What of lovers?" Bella asked and cursed inwardly once the words were out. "Do ye have a leman or a—"
"There will be no lovers!" Boyd growled. "I'm still yer husband and ye'll not break yer vows to me with anyone!"
"What of yer vows to me?" Bella asked.
"I'll not break mine either... but should I wish to, that is none of yer concern!"
"Then I suppose the same applies to me."
Boyd gave her an intense glare. He clasped her arm and slightly shook her. "No, it does not! And I'll kill any man who dares to touch ye because ye, Bella MacKinnon, are mine!"
Bella flinched but nodded. She was emotionally exhausted.
It had been a long day, and an even longer decade.
And right now, she had the measure of her husband.
The man was angry and unreasonable. Worst of all, he must truly find her physically repulsive now.
That hurt a lot. Bella felt like an open, festering wound.
"I understand," Bella replied. "A marriage in name only."
"Good."
"But why?" The question escaped before she could stop it.
Boyd's expression darkened, and for just a moment, Bella thought she saw something raw and painful flicker in his eyes. But then his face went blank again, cold and remote.
"Ye really have to ask? After what ye did?"
"I did not do anything!" Bella's voice rose with frustration, her own temper flaring to match his. "Whatever ye think—"
"Enough!" Boyd's voice was sharp as he cut her off. "The past is done. We both ken what happened, even if ye want to pretend otherwise. This marriage gives me the satisfaction of having ye exactly where ye deserve to be."
"And where is that?" Bella demanded, her own anger rising now.
Boyd's smile was cruel when he replied, "Trapped with a monster."
He dug his heels into his destrier's flanks and rode ahead before Bella could respond.
Behind her, Boyd's guardsmen pretended they hadn't heard the exchange, but Bella caught the sympathetic look Thamas, one of the guards, gave her.
She blinked back tears she refused to shed and urged her mare forward. If Boyd wanted a marriage of cold convenience, then so be it.
***
BOYD RODE AHEAD WITH his jaw clenched so tightly he thought his teeth might crack.
Every word he'd just uttered was a lie because the truth was the exact opposite.
He wanted Bella with an intensity that bordered on madness.
He'd been watching her all morning and everything about her still called to him.
He wanted to pull her from that horse, carry her into the woods away from prying eyes, and bury himself so deep inside her that neither of them would remember where one ended and the other began.
He wanted to hear her scream his name in pleasure.
He wanted to lick every inch of her skin and act out every one of the fantasies he'd had in the last ten years.
And that's why he needed to keep his distance. Bella was pure temptation and he could not afford to succumb to her charms again.
He was the Monk. He did not have a weakness.
And he sure as hell wasn't going to let Bella become one.
Even if it killed him.
***