Chapter 10
MacKinnon Keep
The Keep rose from the mist all grey stone and towers, surrounded by high walls and a guarded gate. It was beautiful in an imposing, unforgiving way.
Rather like its master, Bella thought.
The journey had been long and cold. Boyd was once again avoiding Bella during the days but oddly during the nights he would insist on sharing her pallet.
Often, Bella would wake each morning ensconced in Boyd's arms and several times during the night she would feel his lips gently brush against hers.
Once the sun rose however, the distance would return between them, and they would act as if nothing happened. It was amusing and confusing at the same time. But Bella took Boyd's lead and did not complain.
Now, as they rode through the gates of his Keep, people emerged to greet their laird. They looked at Bella with curiosity, some with pity, others with suspicion.
"Laird!" An older woman bustled forward, her face creased with smile lines. "Welcome home! Who have ye brought with ye?"
"Mrs. Anders this is my wife," Boyd replied curtly.
"Bella. She's to be mistress of the household.
" He dismounted and helped Bella down from her dappled grey.
It was impersonal. His hands did not linger.
"Please see that she's settled in the east wing.
Show her the household accounts and introduce her to the staff. "
"The east wing?" Mrs. Anders looked confused. "But 'tis not fit for—"
"The east wing," Boyd repeated, his voice brooking no argument.
Boyd wanted Bella at the opposite end of the Keep. As far away as possible.
Mrs. Anders’s face fell, but she nodded. "As ye wish."
Boyd turned to Bella, his expression carefully blank. "Mrs. Anders will show ye yer duties. Ye'll have everything ye need."
"Thank ye," Bella replied quietly.
He started to walk away, then paused and turned back. "There's something else we need to discuss. Come to the council chamber in an hour. Mrs. Anders will show ye the way."
It wasn't a request.
Bella nodded and watched him stride away, his men following. She felt Mrs. Anders's sympathetic gaze on her.
"Come along, dear," she said gently. "Let's get ye settled then ye can meet yer husband."
***
BOYD PACED THE COUNCIL chamber. He knew it was time to have a conversation with Bella about what happened ten years ago.
The journey to the Keep had awakened so much longing within him that he needed to find a way forward for them.
He loved waking up with Bella in his arms. Loved stealing kisses when she slept.
He found it easy to make peace with her during the night but then by day thoughts of her betrayal haunted him once more. It could not go on.
Boyd needed Bella to confess what she had done so he could forgive her and maybe, just maybe, they could have a marriage for real.
But so far, she seemed to cling to the lies and he could not make a life with a woman who could not admit her own wrongdoing.
This conversation was long overdue, but he hoped that it would resolve the issues between them, because the truth was, he still wanted her with a passion.
An hour later, Bella entered a great chamber to find Boyd standing by the hearth, a cup of ale in his hand. His expression was cold, closed off.
"Shut the door," he said.
Bella obeyed, her heart beginning to race.
"We need to establish some further ground rules for this marriage."
"Of course, laird."
"Boyd," he corrected sharply. "Ye call me Boyd or husband."
"Boyd," she amended quietly.
He began to pace, his movements restless, predatory. "As I stated previously, this is a marriage in name only."
Bella said nothing but merely nodded.
"But dinnae think that absolves ye from responsibilities.
Ye'll run the household matters of the Keep," Boyd continued.
"Manage the servants, oversee the kitchens, handle the accounts with my supervision.
Ye'll have clothing appropriate to yer standing as my wife and anything else ye require tis yers for the asking. But that's where it ends."
He stopped pacing and turned to look at her directly. "Now, I dinnae want yer conversation. I dinnae want yer affection. Yer role is to provide a warm and welcome hearth. We'll see each other at meals or when necessary, and that's all."
Each word landed like a stone, building a wall between them that Bella knew she'd never scale.
"As for marital duties," Boyd's voice went even colder, "As I've said before I've no interest in sharing a bed and I dinnae want to wake up again with ye sprawled all over me."
Bella blushed with embarrassment remembering their shared nights on the road.
But Boyd continued, "This marriage will remain unconsummated. If I have needs... I'll meet them elsewhere, but I'll be discreet so as not to humiliate ye and ye'll not question it or interfere."
The image of Boyd with other women—touching them, kissing them, giving them the tenderness he'd once shown Bella—made her stomach twist with a pain so sharp she nearly gasped. But she kept her face carefully blank.
"Do ye understand?" Boyd demanded.
"Aye."
"But Bella, it does not have to be this way."
"What do ye mean?"
"I have the power to forgive ye, but I need ye to confess yer part."
Bella stiffened. "Ye wish to forgive me?" she asked incredulously.
"Aye. I believe given our history there may be hope for us yet."
"With respect, husband. 'Twas not me who destroyed what we had!"
He whipped around to look at her and he scowled. "So ye insist on clinging to the lies?"
"What lies? I have been nothing but truthful!"
"Enough!" he roared.
"I dinnae ken why ye wish to hurt me so?" Bella asked.
"Me? Hurt ye? Ye were the one who played false with my heart, Bella. Ye made me believe ye loved me, then threw me aside for a wealthy man. Ye made me look a fool."
"What man?" Bella started, but he cut her off.
"I waited for ye at the chapel, Bella, and ye did not even have the decency to tell me about Philip Gregory and end it yerself."
"I dinnae ken who this Philip is. I loved ye Boyd, I waited for ye and it was ye who did not come. Ye promised me. Then I find ye cavorting with another woman."
"Stop lying!" he roared. "Everyone kenned what ye did."
"Who is everyone? Who told ye such a lie? Ye kenned me, Boyd. I would never do such a thing to ye!"
Boyd dragged his hand through his hair. "Years on and ye still lie. I hoped for a better resolution, but I see now, it is futile. This marriage will remain in name only. I want ye out of my sight, Bella."
"Why?" she rasped.
"Because I want ye to ken what it feels like to be nothing. To be rejected. To be unwanted." He turned to look at her, and the cold hatred in his eyes made her step back.
"And ye dinnae think I already ken what that is like, Boyd?"
He flinched.
Bella did not move. Something in her—some last vestige of the girl she'd been—demanded she speak. "If ye hate me so much, I shall seek an annulment with the king so I can leave."
Boyd closed the distance between them and gripped her arm. "No! There will be no annulment. I'll not allow ye to leave me, do ye hear me?" It was the first time he stood close.
"Aye, I hear ye. If it means anything to yer arrogant boorish arse, I dinnae want to see yer miserable face either, Boyd MacKinnon. I hope ye rot in a tub of hot lard and I curse the day I ever met ye!"
Boyd was surprised at her outburst, seeing a glimpse of the feisty Bella he knew and it amused him but before he could respond she pulled her arm out of his hand and stormed out of the council room.
But not before he heard her mutter, "Touch me again and I'll stab ye in the bawsack!"
Bella was done. She would not give her husband anymore ammunition to hurt her. Clearly he was not worth her time nor her memories. Abbess Bethóc had no idea what she was talking about when it came to men!
"Bella!" Boyd shouted.
"What?" she yelled back but did not turn around or stop.
"Stay out of my way. It'll be easier for both of us."
"With pleasure!" she replied.
Because she kept walking, she missed the look in Boyd's eyes. It was a strange mix of anguish, longing and amusement.
Bella walked back to the east wing, her spine straight, her head high.
Boyd MacKinnon had destroyed her once. Now he was determined to destroy her again, piece by piece, day by day for no good reason.
But she was not the scared timid creature she was back then.
No, she had learned to adapt and grow. He was nothing but a cruel heartless monster and the sooner she realized that instead of wishing for the gentle man of the past, the better she would be.
Bella decided she would find a way again to build meaning and happiness into her life. The sisters taught her patience, and life had taught her resilience. If this was to be her lot in life, then she would make sure no one ever hurt her again.
All her life, others controlled her destiny.
Her father and Bryce when they cast her out.
Boyd when he rejected her and now the king when he insisted upon this farce of a marriage.
But nothing was going to break her spirit.
At least she had plenty of work to keep her busy, food, shelter and clothing.
She would make friends in the clan and make herself useful.
If there was one thing Bella had learnt to do well in the past decade it was this, not only could she survive, but she also knew how to thrive.
***