Chapter 50
chapter
fifty
SHAY
Calder kissed me like he was trying to punish me. An angry, feverish tangle of tongue and teeth and lips and biting.
And it was perfect.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, my own nails biting into his flesh.
“Didn’t I tell you not to be reckless with things that belong to me?” he growled, knotting my hair in his fist, tugging.
“What?” I gasped against the onslaught of his kisses, barely managing to get the word out. Calder’s grip slid from my hair and to my hips, bruising, and lifted me off the sink in one motion.
I wrapped my legs around him, never breaking the kiss while he carried me to the bedroom. He thrust me against the wall next to the bed. A painting rattled.
“Choosing me is fucking reckless, Shay,” Calder growled against my lips.
“No—” I started to argue when his hand moved between my thighs. A moment later, he slid his thumb inside me.
And…wow.
“Fuck, you fit so well in my hand.” He gripped my pussy, punctuating his words. “You fit perfectly with me.”
He growled it like he was angry, peppering me with furious kisses from my jaw to my neck, back up to my mouth.
“Eyes on me,” he snarled. One hand still inside me, he knotted my hair with the other and yanked me back to his eyes.
Then he finger fucked me.
His thumb curled up at the perfect punishing angle. His thrusts were almost violent. His gaze dark, jaw clenching tighter with each strangled groan he ripped from me.
Calder’s grip on my pussy was the only thing keeping me from falling to the ground.
It was like he was claiming me while simultaneously punishing me for that claim.
“You should have left,” Calder said. “Should have run far the fuck away from me.”
I wanted to tell him that he was wrong, but I couldn’t speak.
My orgasm was building to a boil inside me.
I think he knew it, too, and was doing it on purpose so I couldn’t respond.
“You’re a goddess, Shay,” Calder continued, voice hoarse. “I’m not worthy of you. But I’m not letting you go now.”
My orgasm ignited inside me at his words. I gripped Calder’s shoulders, and his dark-blue gaze kept me tethered as I unraveled. I heard myself as if from behind glass. My groans. My whimpers. They sounded distant, as if I wasn’t making them.
Calder’s gaze dropped to my lips, then snapped back to my eyes.
Absently, I heard what sounded like the painting beside smash to the ground, but I was too far gone.
“Fucking perfect,” he rasped, just as my head fell to his shoulder.
Spent.
A moment later, I felt Calder slide his thumb out of me.
“You taste perfect too. So fucking good.” I lifted my head a little, finding Calder already staring at me. He sucked the last bit of me off his thumb, and I shivered at the way his lids drooped. Then he slammed his lips against mine in another rough, biting kiss.
My back hit something soft and bouncy—oh, the mattress. He’d finally put me on the bed. I blinked, staring up at the ceiling, dazed.
My skin still tingled with my release.
My pussy throbbed—
Something metallic and cold brushed my abdomen, then I heard a tear. Calder had grabbed a knife, ripping my dress in two.
“That was my sister’s…” My words disappeared into a breath as my eyes met Calder’s. He stood at the side of the bed, towering over me.
The outline of his cock impossibly hard in his pants.
He dragged a hand down his jaw, eyes ablaze. No one had ever looked at me like him, like he was in awe of me, like he couldn’t get enough of it.
It electrified the goose bumps already peppering my flesh.
“You would let me do anything to you.” There was a roughness barely contained in his words. And for a moment I saw it, saw the sharp edge he’d been hiding so carefully. The blade he’d wrapped in fabric for me was now free.
Tattoos shone inky black on his skin. Menacing.
A knife gripped in the hand not rubbing his jaw.
Thick, bulging muscles glistening with the sheen of exertion.
This was the criminal.
Calder bent over the bed, caging me with his hands. “Wouldn’t you?”
I nodded. Wildly.
I would let Calder do anything to me, because I knew deep in my blood, he would only ever do what I wanted.
The cold steel of the knife slid along my inner thigh with just enough pressure to feel the sharpness. A new wave of goose bumps ignited, and I fought the urge to shiver.
“Really, Shay? Anything.”
Calder slid the blunt of the blade against my pussy, separating my lips. I sucked in air. If I moved even a breath, I’d get cut.
Yet something about this was lighting my blood on fire.
“I trust you,” I said.
Calder’s eyes crinkled, soft—but only for a moment. Something wild lit his gaze again, but it was contained, like a controlled burn versus a wildfire.
No sooner had I felt the steel leave my pussy than something ribbed and plastic slid inside me.
I gasped at the invasion, arching into it, grasping Calder’s shoulders.
The handle.
“Do you know how hard it was not to fuck you with this at the graveyard?” Calder thrust up inside me, angling the handle. “Your perfect ass in my face, squirming like you wanted it.”
“I did,” I gasped. “I do.”
His jaw tightened, and he fucked me harder. My head lolled to the side, and something red caught my eye.
Blood.
Calder was holding the blade as he fucked the handle into me. Crimson rivers streamed down his wrist.
I stilled.
“Don’t fucking stop.”
“You’re bleeding,” I said, trying to grab his hand. “You’re cutting yourself.”
Calder stilled, pressing his forehead to mine. “I need this, Shay.” The ache in his words had me slowly lowering my hand.
He resumed fucking the knife inside me.
“I don’t want you to get hurt,” I said.
“Come and I’ll let it go,” he said. “Come on this knife handle the way you wanted to when you stared up at me like a fucking siren from that coffin.”
Another orgasm rose, different from the first. This one more intangible, yet hotter, like smoke.
I was twisted up. By the heat of his words and the ferocity in his movements. By the sadness lurking beneath his words. As if this was some form of atonement.
“Please, Shay,” he said, curling the blade against that perfect spot. “Let me bleed at your altar.”
An involuntary moan slipped from my lips, eyes closing as I gave in to the feeling, my inner walls clenching around the hard plastic.
“Thank you,” Calder said, pressing his forehead back to mine.
A stillness settled between us, velvet soft.
Then Calder pulled the knife out and threw it against the wall.
He stood back to his feet, staring down at me as he unzipped his pants. The intensity in his gaze vibrated between us, as if every molecule in the universe was feeling it too.
Calder reached for a condom, blood dripping from where he’d cut himself.
I sat up, grabbing his arm.
He raised a brow. “You don’t want me to wear a condom?”
“I’m clean…you’re clean…”
He climbed on top of me, resting his forearms on either side of my head, careful not to get blood on me.
“It was a very clear boundary you set, Shay,” he said, edging forward, his cock barely touching me. “The only boundary, really.” He laughed, as if to himself, and thumbed my cheek. Blood colored his thumb, as if to acknowledge how few boundaries I had.
I gripped his shoulders. “I want to feel you. I need to.”
A crease formed between Calder’s brows, uncertain.
So I did something insane.
I grab his hand, licking the cut.
Calder’s eyes darkened.
And then he slammed inside me.
Our groans melded into one harmonious sound. I was once again reminded of how big he was. I felt so full, and he felt so right inside me.
“Fuck,” he rasped. “You feel so fucking good. Jesus Christ.”
Calder stared down at me, a look of total confusion and amazement in his eyes. Like he couldn’t believe what was happening.
The anger and fear from before had melted away, in its place softness.
I started moving, needing to feel his cock, when his hand shot out to my hip, holding me still.
“Don’t move.” He took a deep, ragged inhale.
I felt his cock twitch inside me.
“Are you going to come?” I asked, surprise lacing my words.
He shook his head. “No. Just. Stay. Still.”
I started moving again, experimentally. Another jolt of his cock I felt straight to my core. His fingers dug into my hip.
“Shay,” he warned.
“I want you to come inside me,” I said. “Please? I’m on birth control.”
“Not yet. You need to come—”
“I did.”
“Again,” he gritted, lifting his head.
Warm, liquid caramel slid through my veins. At his words, and also at how he’d started to move inside me.
A slow, torturous rhythm.
His hips rolled against my pelvis, hard muscles gliding along my smooth stomach.
“Give me one more, baby,” he said. “Let me feel you flood my cock.”
“I don’t think I can,” I breathed.
“Yes, you can.” His lips came to my neck, hot and wet, biting yet soft. There was no urgency in him as he slowly traced his tongue along the column of my neck.
“Oh…” I groaned as my gut clenched and the claws of another orgasm sank deep into my gut.
“That’s it,” he rumbled against my neck. “That’s so good, baby. You’re doing so good.”
Calder thrust faster, yet still controlled, pushing me closer and closer to that sharp edge. How? How did he know the hidden parts of me? How had he mapped my body better than I had?
“I— It’s—” I gasped. The pressure of the orgasm turned my blood to diamond, cutting me sparkling. “It’s too much.”
Calder lifted his head from my neck, lips wet with his kiss. “Breathe, Shay.”
I sucked in a breath and he rumbled low in his chest. “Good girl.”
“Come inside me.”
Calder was close too. It was visible in the sheen of sweat on his brow. The veins throbbing on his neck, vining across his bulging biceps, down to his wrist. Some of the control he’d found slipping again, revealing the glinting edge beneath.
“Are you sure?” he asked, voice hoarse.
Because that was Calder. Even after I’d explicitly told him to come inside me, he still had to be certain.
“Yes.” I gasped. “I love you.” The words slipped out of me, wild and ravenous, spurred on by the way my orgasm cut.
Calder groaned like it was ripped from the very depths of him, and then I felt him. His cock jerked inside me, his head fell forward, still catching my gaze but enough to see the muscles bunch at his shoulders as he released into me.
We fell over the edge together.