Chapter 14
Princess Fluffykins McGee
Sharp teeth flashed in front of him just before Drew hit the ground hard. He automatically raised his hands to protect his face, so there was nothing to break his fall. Pain bloomed across his hip and tailbone, even as a heavy weight settled on his chest.
Hot, putrid air was huffed over his face, and a long, wet tongue ran up his face from chin to temple. “Blugh!” he spat, trying to shove the urco off him. The beast ignored his attempts, wuffing happily as he continued licking every part of Drew he could reach.
“Princess! Get off him!” Andras barked as he skidded to a stop next to them. He hauled ineffectively at the urco, unable to pull the hound off Drew.
“’S okay,” Drew wheezed. “He just wants to say hello.” Despite being crushed under the urco’s bulk, Drew was rather enjoying the enthusiastic greeting.
An indignant bok rang out, and Drew twisted to the side to see a ruffled, but otherwise unharmed, Leila looking very put out after she had been unceremoniously ejected from her perch on his shoulder.
“Why are you alone?” Andras asked. “Where’s Zachariel? Did something happen to him? Is he okay? How come you never made it home?”
Regretfully, Drew pushed the urco to one side so he could catch the breath needed to respond to Andras.
The urco rolled onto his side, pressed close to Drew, and panted happily as he continued to pet him.
“Zach’s fine. Probably not thrilled with me, but he’s not hurt or anything.
We did make it home,” Drew explained. “It’s just I left something really important behind so I came back. ”
“Alone?” Andras asked, one of his eyebrows arching above a pale grey eye.
Drew shrugged. “Yeah.”
“I can see why you think Zachariel is probably unhappy with you. He’ll be worried sick.”
Drew scowled. “I’m not a child. I can take care of myself!”
“I’m sure you can, precious. That’s not going to stop him worrying, though, is it?”
Unable to dispute that, Drew decided a change of subject was in order. “What’s with Princess?” he asked.
Andras huffed in annoyance. “This fucking urco,” he growled.
“He was being annoying and silly, so I made the mistake of calling him Princess Fluffykins McGee, and now he won’t answer to anything but the full name, or just Princess or Fluffykins.
Like, he won’t even answer to McGee, which would have been somewhat respectable. ” He looked extremely put out by this.
Drew burst out laughing, not only at the indignant look on Andras’s face, but also at the idea of this hulking, scary beast being named Princess Fluffykins.
The urco yawned widely, his jaw extending well past the point that most canines could manage, displaying row upon row of sharp, pointed teeth.
There was no doubt he could snap Drew in half with a single bite.
The memory of his howls as he hunted the trio still sent a shiver down Drew’s spine.
Every demon he’d come across had been terrified of urcos, and yet this menacing hound had embraced the name Princess Fluffykins. And Andras was pissed about it.
“That’s karma for you,” Drew crowed. “I think it suits him.”
“No one is ever going to take me seriously again,” Andras whined. “Everyone should tremble in fear as I approach them, riding on the back of the most ferocious beast in the realm, but instead they’ll just laugh as Princess Fluffykins McGee waltzes past!”
At the sound of his name, the urco jumped to his feet and leapt at Andras. Its massive paws settled on his shoulders, and he began licking the demon’s face with enthusiasm.
“Oh, fuck off, you slobbering mutt,” Andras snapped, trying to turn his face so he didn’t catch a mouthful of tongue. With a heave, he shoved the urco off him and pointed at the ground. “Sit!”
The urco whined but dutifully sat, staring up at Andras with adoration in its black eyes. After ten seconds of being given puppy dog eyes by the beast, Andras relented and rubbed its leathery ears.
“And you were worried he’d eat you,” Drew teased.
“That was not outside the realm of possibility, and you know it.” Andras glared at him. “Don’t think I didn’t notice you changing the subject either. What was so important that you would risk giving my darling Zachariel an aneurysm to come back alone for it?”
“I’m pretty sure someone with Zach’s physiology doesn’t need to worry about aneurysms.”
“And I’m pretty sure I liked you better when you were being sweet and adorable, not cheeky.”
“I don’t really care if you like me or not.”
Andras scoffed. “I know a people pleaser when I see one, precious, so drop the act. Out with it—what did you leave behind?”
Drew’s shoulders slumped. “You have to promise not to tell Zach if you see him before me.”
“The likelihood of that is pretty slim,” Andras said.
Drew narrowed his eyes. “That you’ll see him first or you’ll tell him?”
“Both. Now stop prevaricating.”
“That’s a big word. Did you learn it from a crossword puzzle?”
“No, I learnt it from your mom.”
“My mom is dead.”
“Kinky.” Andras winked.
“Gross.”
“You’re stalling. What did you come back for?”
“Ugh! You are so annoying!” Drew whined.
“It’s a talent,” Andras agreed. “Now tell me.”
“Fine!” Drew cried. “I lost the engagement ring I got for Zach. There. Are you happy now?”
Andras froze, looking shocked. His mouth opened and closed several times, but he seemed to have lost the capacity to speak.
Drew enjoyed the silence for the first thirty seconds, but then began to second-guess himself.
Was Andras stunned by how dumb Drew was to even think that Zach would consider marrying him?
Besides marriage being an entirely human concept, Zach was over two thousand years old.
He and Drew had been together for only a year.
Up until now, he’d been sure that Zach would accept his proposal.
They’d already discussed how committed they were to one another, and Zach had commented many times about how happy married couples looked.
But was Drew only seeing what he wanted to see?
Had he been projecting his own wants and desires onto their relationship?
Andras had known Zach for centuries, and if he’d understood correctly, had been together with him for almost as long.
Of the two of them, he knew Zach best. That wasn’t even Drew being dismissive of their relationship—it was simple math.
Did Andras believe Zach wouldn’t want to marry Drew?
That it was some silly human custom that held no real meaning to beings that lived for as long as they did?
Drew wasn’t na?ve. He knew he would not live as long as Zach.
Yes, he was certain Zach wanted them to spend the rest of Drew’s life together, but would he really want to tie himself by Canadian law to Drew?
Maybe instead of being silly and romantic, Drew should have discussed this with Zach first?
That would have been the mature thing to do . . .
Fuck.
“An engagement ring?” Andras finally croaked out.
Drew nodded, and his shoulders slumped. “Before you say anything, I know it’s a stupid idea and he probably won’t even want to marry me. But yes, that’s why I came back.”
Andras was shaking his head. “No, I don’t think it’s stupid. I think it’s very sweet.” He gave Drew a gentle smile, but there was something else in his expression Drew couldn’t quite get a read on.
Was it guilt?
“Wait,” he said, suspicion boiling to the surface. “You’re a thief! Zach said it’s your job, plus you stole that dagger from Lucifer, and something else Orias wouldn’t tell us about. Did you steal my ring?”
“What?” Andras sputtered. “No! And what do you mean, Orias said I stole something else? I took nothing but the dagger!”
“Orias said that’s a lie, that you didn’t tell us everything. He said the dagger was the least of the things you stole.”
Andras looked genuinely confused by this. “I have no idea why he said that because it’s not true. I left the palace with the dagger, and that’s it. And I swear I didn’t steal your ring.”
“Then why do you look guilty? I’ve been searching for over a day for the ring. If you took it . . .”
“I didn’t take it!” Andras shouted.
“Your face says otherwise!”
“I’m not feeling guilty because I stole your stupid ring!”
Drew zeroed in on the important part of that statement. “But you are feeling guilty! Why?”
“Because I’m jealous!” Andras snapped. His pale face was flushed and his grey eyes were wild, but as soon as the words slipped out, the fight drained from him. He sank to his knees next to the urco and stared at the ground.
This was new territory for Drew, and he wasn’t quite sure how to handle it.
Despite his earlier ire, he found he wasn’t actually angry with Andras.
Confused, yes, but not angry. He sat down next to the demon and tried to catch his eyes.
Andras resolutely averted his gaze, but Drew wasn’t deterred.
“Do you still love him?” he asked softly.
It wasn’t accusatory, just a simple question.
Andras barked out a laugh. “What? Fuck, no.” He was shaking his head emphatically. “To be honest, I don’t even know if what Zachariel and I had could even be called love.”
“But weren’t you together for ages?” Drew asked.
“Over two centuries,” Andras confirmed. “But it wasn’t love. It was affection and companionship and super-hot sex.”
Drew made a face at that but didn’t comment.