Chapter 31
Chapter Thirty-One
O f course, my seat was number seventy-two: evil and death. I’d convinced myself the person who sat next to me would be my killer. They’d either do it on the plane, somehow, or wait until I’d got off.
I ignored the people around me finding their seats. I didn’t want to look up at them, to smile or make polite conversation. I just wanted the plane to take off so that I had no choice but to stay on it.
I’d already done a scan of my seat, of the back of the one in front of me and the arm rests, for any sign of saliva or snot. All clear.
I took out my sanitiser and placed it on the flip-down table, my book ( The Lord of The Rings – Una said it was long enough for the journey there and back), and my antibacterial hand wipes that I was happy to use on my face if I had to because I’d forgotten to put my face wipes in my handbag.
I pulled out my phone and scrolled to Una’s number.
I’m on the plane.
Well done!! How do you feel?
Sick.
You’ll be fine. Do you have a window seat?
Yes. I’m in seat seventy-two.
Don’t think about it.
Seventy-two is evil and death. I’m going to be sitting next to a serial killer.
She ignored that.
What film are you going to watch?
Not a serial-killer one.
Probably a good idea, remember to put your phone on flight mode.
What does that even do, anyway?
I don’t actually know.
Will the plane blow up if I don’t, like petrol stations if you use your mobile phone?
I don’t know, maybe turn it off just to make sure.
I don’t want to.
Why?
Because then I’m really on my own.
You’re not on your own, I’ll be thinking of you the whole time.
You’ll be asleep.
Not for the first flight.
You will be when I get the next one.
I’ll dream of you then. Call me when you land. You’ll be fine, I promise.
I wanted to keep Una there for as long as possible.
Are you going to Fish and Chips Friday?
Yes, probably.
Who will you go with?
Niall, probably.
Not Carmel?
Fuck off.
Can you remind Niall to check on the woodlice?
Pearl?
Yes?
Turn your bloody phone off.
* * *
‘Hello, dear,’ a little voice with an Irish accent said beside me and I turned to see the old lady with the pale blue coat and black saggy leggings sit down in the seat next to me. She didn’t look like a serial killer. She looked like someone who would read to children and tuck them in with a squeeze.
‘These seats never seem big enough even for my bony bottom.’ She laughed.
‘It’s a bit of a squeeze.’ I smiled.
‘I’m Bunty,’ she said.
‘Pearl.’
‘That’s a beautiful name, not Irish though?’
‘I think it’s English.’
‘Ah, same as me, dear.’
‘Bunty?’
‘Elizabeth, but my father used to call me Bunty. Where are you from?’
‘County Tipperary, and you?’
‘Dublin, born and bred,’ Bunty said.
‘Are you going on holiday?’ I asked.
I needed to keep her talking because it was massively helping to distract me from the fact that I was actually on the plane.
‘I’m going to visit my sister in Kuala Lumpur. She moved there to marry a fisherman fifty years ago.’
‘Oh wow.’
‘She died there too.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘I go every year if I can; she’s buried there. I usually try and make the festival in the village.’
I couldn’t imagine Bunty at a festival, dancing around to neon lights and getting drunk.
‘It’s more of a communal gathering where everyone gets involved with the food preparations, peeling, chopping, cleaning up,’ she said as if she’d read my thoughts.
‘It sounds great.’
‘What about you, where are you off to on your travels?’
‘I’m going to New Zealand.’
‘Aotearoa,’ Bunty said but her eyes glazed over like she was somewhere else.
‘No, New Zealand,’ I repeated.
‘It means New Zealand.’ She smiled and then she was back with me again. ‘Have you been before?’
‘No.’
‘Where are you going?’
‘A town called Te Puke, it’s in the North Island,’ I said, like I knew what I was talking about.
‘Ah, near Mount Maunganui?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘Go to Omanu Beach if you get a chance, dear.’
‘Where?’
‘Omanu Beach, it’s not far from Te Puke. I lived there.’
I wondered if it was the same beach Jack said he’d take me to for a picnic and to watch the dolphins.
‘You lived on a beach?’
‘In a car park, I camped in one for a whole month, in a van.’
‘Wow, did you do it on your own?’
‘Yes, but I met plenty of great people there. I used to go for a run on the beach every morning, then I’d do ten minutes of yoga afterwards and finish off with a swim in the sea. I’d wash my hair once a week in the cold shower that was in the toilet block in the car park – all before six in the morning because I had to get to the kiwi-fruit orchards for seven-thirty. I loved it. Go if you get the chance and give the sea a kiss from me.’
‘Give the sea a kiss?’
‘Ha.’ Bunty chuckled. ‘It’s what my sister and I used to say to each other when we’d go to the beach as girls back home in Ireland. We always told each other to give the sea a kiss if one of us was going without the other. It meant swim naked .’
‘Naked?’
‘I did it every morning on Omanu Beach.’
‘Weren’t you scared camping there on your own?’
‘I probably should have been, but I was young and free and a bit wild. Like you.’
‘I wouldn’t say I’m wild.’
‘We’re all wild at heart, dear,’ Bunty said, and her eyes sparkled.
‘I’ve never been anywhere this far before.’
‘Well, you’re going somewhere now. Who are you going to see?’
‘Someone I met, back at home. He’s from New Zealand.’
‘Boyfriend?’
‘No.’ I laughed and I suddenly felt ridiculous.
‘Potential boyfriend?’
‘Maybe. He doesn’t know I’m coming.’
‘Travelling to the other side of the world to surprise someone special.’ She grinned. ‘Sounds pretty wild to me.’
The sound of a ding-dong stopped us chatting, followed by a crackle of a microphone and the air stewardess with the crinkle-free face appeared in front of us. She looked straight ahead, and stood as frozen as her face, then right on cue started to move to the pre-recorded message.
‘Ladies and gentlemen, please direct your attention to the stewardesses in the aisle for your flight safety briefing. There are six emergency exits on this aircraft. You will find them at the front, middle, and back of the plane, here, here and here. Please ensure you are familiar with the exit closest to you.’
I watched her hands move gracefully in time with the voiceover. But I had already clocked and counted the rows to my exit and worked out everyone else’s because who knew how far I’d be thrown if the plane nosedived.
‘Please ensure your bags are secure, either above your heads or under the seats in front of you. Please switch off all electronic devices and keep your seatbelts fastened until otherwise instructed. In the very rare occurrence that the cabin suffers low air pressure, oxygen masks will drop from above you, stay calm and place the mask over your face, like this.’
She put the mask on with ease and I wondered if it might smudge her flawless complexion but of course it didn’t, she was as perfect as her skin.
‘Make sure you put your own mask on before attending to your children. In the unlikely event of an emergency landing?—’
‘We will all die,’ I muttered under my breath.
‘—life jackets can be found under your seats. Emergency lighting in the aisles will lead you to your closest exit. Please do take a moment to read the safety card in the seat pocket in front of you.’
Ding-Dong.
I saw the flash of seatbelt lights above my head, heard the clicks as passengers buckled up, and not long after, felt the motion of going backwards or forwards, I couldn’t tell. The whirring sound of something outside, or inside – again, I couldn’t tell – got louder and faster and then a rumble and a low growl vibrated around me.
I pinched my thumb and finger together, because Mairéad said if I felt pain then I would focus on that instead of my thoughts, only it didn’t work and all I could think about was a fire starting and the plane blowing up and would I wait for Bunty or leave her there to burn and run to my exit?
‘ One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, Bunty on fire.’ I muttered to myself. ‘One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, Bunty begging me to help her, I’m going to hell.’ I took another deep breath. ‘One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, burnt Bunty. Trees, trees, trees. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten?—’
Ding-Dong.
‘Ladies and Gentleman, this is your captain speaking. I would like to welcome you aboard flight 316 to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Our flying time is fourteen hours, forty minutes, set to be cruising at an altitude of 38,000 feet. We are expected to land on schedule. The weather in Kuala Lumpur is currently sunny, highs of thirty-two degrees Fahrenheit. Once again, welcome aboard. Please enjoy your flight.’
‘There’s a fire blanket under your seat, dear.’ Bunty leant in to tell me.
‘I’m sorry?’
‘Under your seat, the fire blanket.’ She pointed down.
I frowned.
‘To stop me burning,’ she said with a wink, and I wanted to die right there and then.