Chapter 59
Chapter Fifty-Nine
W hen I landed, Una flung her arms around me like a long-lost lover and I let her because I hadn’t had a hug like that the whole time I’d been in New Zealand.
In that moment, I didn’t think about how her wet cheeks smudged against mine, or how her nose had probably dripped onto my hair (because that’s what happened when Una cried, her nose ran) or how I needed a shower as soon as I got home. I thought about how good it felt to be embraced by my best friend.
But when we were back in her car, I pulled out my sanitiser and rubbed it into my hands.
‘Still on the hard stuff then?’
‘I’m working on it.’
‘Good to hear it. They should have OCDA meetings.’
‘What?’
‘Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Anonymous,’ she said. ‘Can you imagine what that would be like, a load of people with OCD in the same room? By the time you’d all sat down it would be time to stand up again.’
We both giggled.
‘So, are you glad you went? Even though it all went wrong with Turbo? I’m going to call him Turbo Head from now on, by the way.’
‘He is a Turbo Head, and yes, I’m glad I went and I’m actually glad it went wrong. I’d never have gone to the other places or met the people I met if it hadn’t – I’d probably have stayed in Te Puke.’
Una made a puke sign with her fingers in her mouth.
‘Has he tried to contact you?’
‘I don’t know, I blocked him.’
‘Good.’
‘How do you feel about Shaun did everything ?’
Una shrugged.
‘You didn’t want your nipples pinched anyway.’
‘No, I prefer a finger up my arse.’
We both laughed.
‘And Niall?’ I couldn’t help myself.
‘Niall’s finger up my arse?’ Una chuckled. ‘Oh God, no. The kiss was just a weird mistake. But he does have a good body under those woolly jumpers I reckon.’
‘I wouldn’t know,’ I said with my face to the window as the motorway turned to country lanes. I’d missed the Irish countryside. For all New Zealand’s beauty, the one thing I noticed the most was that they didn’t have hedges. Not like Ireland’s hedges anyway. I’d really missed Ireland’s hedges.
‘I bet he knows a trick or two.’
‘Una!’
‘What? I bet he does. He’d probably fling you around the shop or do it up against the window.’
‘Could you imagine Mr Dutson looking out of his window at that?’ I laughed.
‘Actually, I could.’ Una chuckled.
‘He said he’s got something to tell me.’
‘Who, Mr Dutson?’
‘No, Niall.’
‘Oooh, I wonder if he’s going to confess his undying love for you?’
‘It’s about something that happened in the shop, actually.’
‘Why don’t you go and see him?’
‘Maybe tomorrow, I’m knackered and can’t wait to get home.’
‘Maybe he’s sacking you and taking on his Saturday girl.’
‘I don’t think so.’
‘Or maybe he’s taking over the shop and wants to promote you?’
‘Promote me to what?’
‘To Mrs O’Callaghan!’
‘Ha ha, very funny. What about Maggie Ryan, any more cards?’
‘Just the new one I told you about.’
‘Do you think anyone from the village calls it?’
‘I don’t think they’d dare after what happened with Mr Keele!’
‘True. She must be very unhappy with her life to be doing that.’
‘Or just bored, or maybe she gets a kick from it, maybe they both do – maybe her husband joins in?’
‘Maybe it’s not even Maggie Ryan on the phone, maybe it’s her husband?’ I quipped.
We both laughed again and it felt good to be back with Una. It felt good to be on my way home.
* * *
Una pulled up outside my parents’ house and I could see the balloons outside their front door with a welcome home banner across the front gate.
‘Oh God.’ I sighed.
‘Sorry, I know you hate it, but I promised them I’d bring you over.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me? You know I don’t like a fuss.’
‘Because I promised them I would, and anyway, it’ll be nice, your mum has made a cake and your dad’s got the rum out.’
‘It’s not my birthday.’
‘Who cares, there’s cake and rum.’
‘You don’t drink rum.’
‘I’m open to trying it.’
‘Jesus,’ I said as I got out of Una’s car and made my way behind her up the garden path and towards the goldfish bowl that was my parents’ house.
I could see everyone watching me. When I say everyone, I mean my mum and dad, who had a glass of rum already in his hand, Mrs O’Callaghan and Niall, who were stood looking as awkward as I felt. Oh, and Maggie Ryan, who was sandwiched between Niall and my dad.
‘Maggie bloody Ryan,’ Una whispered. ‘It’ll be a who’s doing it instead of a whodunit . You don’t think your dad calls the number, do you?’
‘Fuck off,’ I said under my breath as we approached them.
My mum came running over with her arms open. She pulled me into them with a tight squeeze.
‘Oh, love!’ she beamed. ‘I’m so proud of you.’
‘Hi, Mum,’ I said into her hair. ‘You really didn’t need to do all of this.’
‘It’s just a few sandwiches. Niall’s here, I’ve wiped all the cutlery,’ she said with one breath into my ear.
‘Thanks, Mum. Why is Maggie here?’
‘Not now, love, Maggie and Ron have separated.’
‘Did he find out about the cards?’
My mother gave me a glare and then walked me over to everyone else like she was announcing some kind of royal appearance. Niall couldn’t hide how awkward he felt, my dad raised his glass and gave me a wink, Mrs O’Callaghan gushed about my adventures and how brave I was, and Maggie Ryan hovered behind like she wanted to be anywhere else but there.