Chapter 64
Chapter Sixty-Four
I t was Thursday and I’d told my mum she didn’t need to come around because I was fine. By fine I meant I didn’t need her to check up on me because there was nothing to check up on. To be honest, I was still trying to work out if I should tell her about Maggie Ryan and Mr O’Callaghan or not.
Since Maggie Ryan was her best friend and she’d already broken up with her husband, I wasn’t really sure what telling her would gain? I’d never told my mum about my penis thoughts, so what good would it have done? Apart from probably ruin a perfectly good friendship.
Anyway, maybe Maggie had been madly in love with Mr O’Callaghan? Maybe he had been her Fionn and she’d been his fair maiden? And if that was true, I didn’t want to make life even harder for Maggie than it probably already was. Besides, I had my own issues to work on. I didn’t need Maggie bloody Ryan’s as well.
I had been home for nearly a week when Mrs O’Callaghan phoned to ask if I could come into the shop because they were short-staffed, but I didn’t mind because it was raining and I had nothing else to do.
I’d rearranged the window (Mrs O’Callaghan had been stocking more homemade stuff since Mr O’Callaghan had died). Ellie had started making her own soap using wildflowers from the village, so I’d put a pile of it on some straw just to make it look more rustic. She’d also supplied some chutney, so I put a few jars next to Sally’s eggs on the other side, which again were laid out (no pun intended) on some straw for extra effect.
The rain battered on the window like an angry person trying to get in and I was glad to be inside. It was so loud I almost didn’t hear the shop bell ring when Niall walked in.
It was the first time I’d seen him since I’d come face to face with his penis.
‘Hello, Niall,’ I said as casually as I could.
‘Hello, Pearl,’ he said back.
‘How’s your penis?’ ‘How’s it all going?’
‘OK thanks. You?’
‘Good.’
‘Good, good.’
I didn’t know what to say then. My eyes kept shifting to his crotch and he must have noticed because how could he not? And then I remembered Mairéad’s offer, which saved the day really, because it broke the ice at just the right time.
‘Niall?’
‘Hmm?’ he said from behind the till but he kept his eyes from me.
‘I’ve been seeing someone.’
‘OK.’
‘For my OCD, I mean. A therapist, Mairéad, she’s really nice.’
‘I’m glad.’
‘I told her what you told me.’
‘Oh.’
‘She won’t tell anyone, I promise, she has to keep all that stuff confidential, but she did ask me if I’d pass on her number, if you wanted it?’
‘What for?’
‘To help you with your, you know, to help you with the memories and all that.’
Niall shook his head like he was trying to shake my words out of it.
‘I’m doing fine, thanks.’
‘I’m just saying, if you want to talk to someone, Mairéad is pretty good, and you can’t see your dad’s penis in your head for the rest of your life.’
Even though I knew I was going to.
‘I don’t particularly want to talk about this, Pearl.’
‘Sorry.’
He changed the subject. ‘Thanks for coming in today, Mum was worried you’d not come back.’
‘Of course I would.’
‘I think she thought you’d stay out there or something like that.’
‘No, although it did make me think about what I want I suppose.’
‘What do you want?’
‘I love working here, but I have always wanted to write a book.’
‘I didn’t know that, although you were always good at English.’
‘I wouldn’t know where to start to be honest or if I’d be any good.’
‘You just start at the beginning, I guess.’
‘Yeah, but the beginning of what?’
‘You could write a memoir?’
‘Then I’d have to write about your dad and Maggie Ryan.’
‘You could leave that bit out.’
‘It would have to stay in.’
‘You could write under a pseudonym,’ he said. ‘Just change the names of the characters so no one would know, or at least if they did recognise themselves you could just deny it. Who would I be?’
‘You’d be you.’
‘Yes, but what would you call me?’
‘You’ll have to wait and see,’ I said.
‘Don’t make it too obvious.’
‘I won’t.’ I grinned.
‘Pearl?’
‘Yes.’
‘There was one thing I was going to ask of you.’
‘What?’
‘I haven’t been to my dad’s grave since his funeral.’
‘Oh, really?’
‘I couldn’t because it made me mad.’
‘That’s understandable.’
‘I think I’d like to go and see him.’
‘OK.’
‘Would you come with me?’
‘Really?’
‘Yes.’
‘When would you like to go?’ I asked.
‘After your shift?’
‘Sure.’
‘Thanks, Pearl,’ Niall picked up his keys. ‘I’ll see you there.’
‘See you there,’ I said, and I don’t know why but I felt like I was going on a date, even if it was to the graveyard to see Mr O’Callaghan.