Chapter 51 Wren
Cassiel’s arms are around me when I wake, tracing lazy circles on my back. I slide my hands around him and pull myself closer. “I’ve missed you,” I whisper. “In case that wasn’t obvious.”
Cassiel smiles against my forehead. “I missed you so much I think I went a little mad.”
“I’m sorry I scared you. I would have sent word if I could. I came back as soon as I was able—”
“It’s all right,” he assures me. “You’re back now.”
I sink down further into his arms. “Home,” I assure him, trying to get used to the word. This is where I belong, now. I don’t need anything else.
“Home,” Cassiel repeats.
He takes my face in his hands again, marvelling over my features with his thumbs. I draw him into a kiss, and we stay like that for a little while, lips merged, souls entwining.
Cassiel breathes a sigh when we part. “Who are you?” Cassiel asks. “What are you?”
I knew this question was coming, but I’m not ready to break the bubble yet. “Could I just say ‘yours’ and leave it at that for now?”
Cassiel strokes my hair. “If you wish it,” he says, and then, more seriously, “I will give you anything within my power, Wren. What you ask of me, I’ll do it.”
I think guiltily back to the mission I’ve been given—to make him fall in love with me, to have him make me queen. I believe he’d do it, if I asked, if his brother and mother were gone. My grandmother’s plan would work.
And I will never, ever let it come to that. I’m not letting Cass lose half of his family. I’m not going to manipulate him in that way. I’ll tell him the truth. We’ll come up with another answer together…
Just, not today. Because whatever he feels for me, I know he’ll be angry when he hears the full truth. I know he’ll be sad. I think he’ll forgive me, in time, I just… I want a day of the two of us being happy. Just a day.
“Ashwood,” I murmur.
“What’s that?”
“I’m not from Thornvale,” I tell him. “I’m from Ashwood. No one has used that name for me in years, though. You’re probably the only person I’ve ever spoken it aloud to.”
Cassiel finds my fingers and brings them up to his lips to kiss. His other hand cradles my cheek, brushing away my hair. He’s so gentle that it makes my chest hurt.
“Serawen Ashwood,” he whispers. “When you are ready, I will be the keeper of all your secrets.”
I believe him, but beneath his promises, something else nags at me.
I want Cassiel to know. I do. But I don’t want to have to hide what I am from anyone, not anymore.
And I don’t think that future exists for me. In neither world will I ever truly be able to be myself.
But I can be myself with him.