Holding On – HL Miller #2
A lump forms in my throat. My family, friends, and Abby are all here for me.
She’s even putting school on hold to be here this weekend.
How do you thank someone who’s given you everything—her love, her time, her belief in you—when you can’t even promise you’ll be there for her next week?
She’s everything I could ask for, and all I can do is hope she’ll want to follow me to Minnesota after she graduates.
“No way I’d miss my big bro getting drafted.” Grey smiles. “You’re a top-ten pick! Congrats, motherfucker.”
I throw an arm around his neck, ruffling his hair and knocking his hat off. It’s easier to mess with him than to talk about how I feel. “Does Emmy know you talk like that?”
He shrugs me off. “I know you can’t get enough of me, but I just stopped by to say goodbye before I head out. Wasn’t sure when I’d see you again.”
The shower shuts off. Our time alone is almost up.
We’ve joked around so far, but I stop the banter.
Leaving my best friend makes my chest ache.
The excitement of being drafted thrums beneath my skin, but as reality settles in, it twists into something heavier.
My life in L.A. is ending. Can I rebuild it in Minnesota?
“You’re not rid of me yet. I’m still your roommate for now. I’ll be back to train this summer, and you’d better run routes for me,” I say.
Grey salutes mockingly.
“This will be you next year. Just keep grinding, and you’ll make it. I’ll be the proudest fucker ever at your draft.”
“Now who has the dirty mouth?” Grey laughs, bending to pick up his hat.
I smirk. “I did worse with it last night.”
He groans. “Always with the TMI. I won’t miss that when you move out.”
I tuck my shirt into my pants. “As if you won’t be celebrating the same way in a year.”
Grey is silent. I’m about to ask what he thinks of the Minnesota wide receivers when the bathroom door opens, the honeysuckle scent of Abby’s shampoo preceding her.
“Micah—” Abby pauses in the doorway, steam swirling behind her.
“Oh, hi Greyby.” Her tone is flat, lacking its usual warmth for him, even though she uses his nickname.
She’s always gotten along with Grey, even helping to set him up with Emmy.
Back when he was single, she never minded him third-wheeling.
I frown. Abby’s been off since yesterday. I know her well enough to guess she needs reassurance about our future. She’s putting on a brave face, but deep down, she must be scared. I’ve been too caught up in celebrating to really be there for her.
If Grey knew how I’ve mismanaged things with Abby, he wouldn’t hesitate to call me out. I gave him plenty of shit when he was screwing things up with Emmy, so I’m sure he’d jump at the chance. But I’m not about bringing him into this.
“Morning, Abby.” Grey settles his hat back on his head. “Emmy wants to catch up with you.”
“I’ll call her later.” Abby pulls a dress from the closet. I envy how effortlessly she makes her choice, but maybe she’s not as stressed about the press conference as I am.
Grey knocks his fist against the wall. “I’ve got to get to the airport. Enjoy Minneapolis. Travel safe.”
I slap his back. “Safe flight, man.”
Abby says, “Grey, don’t forget about tutoring us in stats Monday night. Emmy and I have that test on Tuesday.”
He nods. “Emmy already put it in my calendar.”
“See you later, man,” I say.
Grey waves, and the door shuts behind him.
I turn to Abby, gently tugging the dress from her hands and tossing it on the bed. “How are you?”
“I’m fine. Kind of tired, but nothing a coffee won’t fix.” Her voice is bright, but the faint cracks in her forced cheerfulness give her away.
She avoids my gaze until I lift her chin, angling her face toward me. Her flushed cheeks are full of healthy color, likely from the heat of the shower. But something is off—the pinched corners of her lips, the slight dilation of her pupils, the hint of unease she can’t quite hide.
I pull her against me, my chin resting on her head as the sweet scent of her shampoo envelops us. “You know I love you, right?”
“Of course. I love you, too.”
“It’s okay to feel however you do. Just don’t hide it from me.” I rub her back, the warmth of her skin seeping through the robe.
She nods, her damp hair tickling my jaw. “I didn’t want to drag you down and ruin your celebration.”
“You couldn’t. You being here is enough.”
Abby snuggles closer, her hands sliding over my back. “I’m scared.” Her voice leaks some of the anguish she’s been keeping in.
I hold her tighter. “I know.”
I want to tell her I’m scared, too. I’m excited about my future, but I’m unsure how our relationship will handle the distance and my schedule.
I could say all that, but one of us needs to be strong, to believe in us.
Despite my fears and the knot of doubt in my chest, I can be that person.
Besides, taking this path means I don’t have to talk about my emotions.
Pushing away the image of Grey shaking his head at me, I focus on staying steady for Abby. My fingers trail over the plush robe as I stroke her back. “We’ll figure this out together. It won’t be easy, but we can do it.”
She nuzzles my neck. “I hope so.”
I pull back, dropping a soft kiss on her lips, cherishing her taste. “I want you to move to Minnesota after you graduate. You open to that?”
“Yes.” She squeezes me, then leans back to study my face.
“Let’s use this weekend to explore. I’ll ask my agent to arrange showings of potential places to live.”
Her smile is genuine this time. “You’ll let me help pick?”
“Of course. Gotta bribe you into visiting me in the frozen tundra.”
She laughs. “Good luck with that. You’d better come back to L.A. for the winter.”
“Fine by me.” I kiss her again, savoring her lighter mood and the sweetness of her mouth.
I pull out the necklace I got for her in L.A. Sunlight catches on the jewels, making them sparkle. “A little thank you for helping me get here.”
She squeezes my biceps. “I don’t deserve much credit. That was your hard work.”
“You do, more than you know. These past two and a half years with you have been the best of my life. Thanks for always being there.” I place the necklace in her palm, where the sapphires shine like the love I have for her.
Abby’s eyes widen, her lips curving into a radiant smile. “It’s gorgeous, Micah!”
I lift her beautiful blonde hair and clasp the necklace around her neck, letting the jeweled letter A settle against the hollow of her throat. “There. Looks great on you, babe.” I guide her to the mirror next to the closet and stand behind her.
Abby grazes her fingertips over the charm. “I love it. Thank you, baby.”
I got this for her because she’s been there for me in ways I can’t put into words, and I’m afraid I won’t be able to do the same for her while we’re apart this year. At the very least, she’ll have this as a tangible reminder that I love her, even when I can’t be there.
Dwelling on that won’t change anything. Right now, she’s here, and so am I.
“I’ve got another way to thank you.” I pull Abby closer, her back against my front. For a second, her body is stiff, unyielding, until she exhales, softening, leaning into me as I slip my hand beneath her robe. She reacts instantly to my touch, her breast pressing into my palm.
Abby’s breath catches, tension thick between us. The way we watch our reflection says everything. It’s more than touch. It’s intimacy, a shared promise.
She tilts her head back, and I trail kisses down her neck. Turning her in my arms, I lift her, gripping her hips as I carry her into the bathroom, searching for the nearest surface.
“Do we have time?” She locks her arms around my shoulders as I set her on the counter.
“Don’t care.” I tug the knot at her waist, letting the top of her robe fall open. My gaze lingers, taking in the sight of her perky tits, her nipples tightening in anticipation.
The robe parts easily as I step between her legs, pressing against her heat. “Private flight, baby. They’ll wait.”
Abby’s smile turns molten as she unzips my pants, freeing me. I grind against her, relishing the slick, bare heat.
“Don’t wrinkle your shirt. It looks good on you.” Her fingers glide over the smooth fabric on my chest, sending a spark of desire through me.
I laugh, a low, heated sound. “I can satisfy you without ruining it.”
Time blurs as pleasure overtakes us. Abby cries out, her body tightening around me, and I follow, lost in her, lost in everything we are.
When we’re done, my shirt bears the crinkled marks of her grip. I shake it off, unconcerned, as Abby dresses. With our bags packed, I take her hand. Whatever comes next, we’ll face it together.
ABBY
“Why are you glaring at your phone like it personally betrayed you?” Emmy drops into the chair beside me in the conference room. “Did you get the notification about how small our last paycheck was? I know we’re only part-time interns, but we’d probably make more at the campus coffee shop.”
“Micah was supposed to call at lunch, but he never did.” I trace the edge of my phone case, willing the screen to light up.
“He’ll call soon.” She connects her laptop to the big screen, pulling up the report we need to turn in by the end of the day.
I shove my phone into my pocket and slouch in my chair. “It wouldn’t be such a big deal if he didn’t miss calls all the time. He’s been flaky as hell since he left for training camp a month ago.”
The weight of his absence settles in. Micah has been breaking promises ever since the draft, when he sent me back to L.A. alone while he stayed in Minnesota for rookie minicamp. For two years, he was my steady, devoted boyfriend. Now he’s slipping away.
Emmy scrolls through the report. “I know he’s juggling a lot, but you deserve his time, too.”
My eyes narrow. “I wish he saw that. Lately, I feel like an afterthought. We barely talk once a week.”