His Karma – By Khushi T. Saha #6
She smiled, glad his positivity was back. But she’d felt the need to address something further.
“Thanks, Zayn,” she said awkwardly, her face in his shoulder, his arms still around her but loose.
“For saying how messed up it was,” she clarified.
“My parents think it’s all in my head.” He tightened his arms around her.
“I—thanks for being a friend …” She wanted to say more but didn’t know what or how.
“Is that all you see me as?” He pulled back, his hands on her shoulders as he fixed her with a direct stare.
Yes, because that’s all my parents will allow , was what she’d meant to say. But the “no” slipped out of her mouth before she could think or plan. And then his mom interrupted them by poking her head in to check on their progress.
This all happened before winter break. Before he’d left for Greece for two weeks. But when he came back, she did something she never thought she’d do: She snuck out to see him.
It snowballed from there…
It was easier than she thought to lie to her parents.
She told them the vet's office needed her for a few extra hours because someone quit. Or she’d make up some study group …
which wasn’t a lie entirely. She’d meet up with her study group at the library, then ditch them to find Zayn in the dusty stacks on the third floor, where they could talk alone.
It was there that he almost kissed her, leaning in, as she tilted her head up, waiting in anticipation, their breaths mingling together.
But the squeals of another couple a row over made them duck and leave.
He was everything she never thought a boy could be—a good listener who didn’t “boysplain” things to her.
He simply heard her worries about getting into Columbia, and not wanting to disappoint her parents, even revealing she might not want to be a doctor.
She told him she envied her little sister because she was free and daring, not caring what their parents thought.
A few times she caught him staring at her, lost in thought.
When prompted, he asked why she made herself crazy to please them.
She answered truthfully. They’d always encouraged her to be her best. Why wouldn’t she want to please them and make them happy?
He’d nodded, and only said, “As long as you’re doing this all for yourself, too. ”
She’d laughed incredulously, responding with, “If not for me, then who am I doing all this for?”
Deep down, though, his question loosened something within her. She questioned if she was doing it for the right reasons. But that was stupid because of course she was. And she was seeing Zayn in secret for the right reasons, too. He made her happy. Made her feel good enough.
“So, your parents … and us?” he asked, bringing her back to their conversation by the pool.
He knew her answer. Why? Because he knew what the entire Indian community thought of him.
He was spoiled with no future. He’d get a job at his family’s shipping company, or his father would pull strings, getting him an internship after graduation.
He’d heard the gossip from some of the Indian guys in the community at a South Asian teen mixer back in December.
“You’re lucky, bro. You don’t have to study your ass off. I bet doors will open for you no matter what because of your mom,” Nikhil had said.
“And his dad—don’t forget Kiran Uncle is some bigwig at Sun Pharma, right?” Ravi asked. “Do you think I could talk to him about an internship?”
“You guys are jack-asses,” Zayn said lightly, trying to shake his uneasiness over the injustice of ugly gossip. What did people know about him, or how his parents raised him? “So, where’d you get that BS?”
“My folks, and everyone here,” Ravi had said a little glumly.
So, Zayn had a pretty good idea of what Kareena’s answer would be; her face crumpling slightly as she sat motionless on the lounger. He really couldn’t blame her. She had her head on straight, though her path was guided by the South Asian way of letting your parents define what was good for you.
“Zayn, I—” She looked pitiful, her bottom lip trembling. He felt bad.
“It’s ok, Karma,” he said softly.
“It is?” she asked hopefully.
“Yeah. I get it.” Even though it was like a knife to his chest and hurt him more than he expected.
He changed the subject, not wanting to inflict more pain on either of them.
“So, swimming lessons?” He clapped his palms together, rubbing them briskly. He’d get over Kareena keeping him a secret, at least for now.
“Right now?” she asked, her eyes widening.
Zayn shrugged. “Sure. No one else is up.”
She looked like she was thinking about it. “So long as it’s just swimming?”
“Hey, I can’t help it if we go all Kelly and Dylan in the pool.”
Kareena’s jaw dropped. “You did not just admit you watch 90210 reruns.”
“Why not? It’s a good show. You obviously watch it, and I hear you have pretty good taste.”
He pretended to flick specks of dust off his shoulders.
“True.” She smiled. Her teeth flashed in the early light. “Fine.”
He wasn’t sure if he heard correctly. “Really?”
She kicked off her wedge flip-flops and stood up to unbutton her skirt.
“I trust you, Zayn.”
Damn, she was being bold by saying that. It meant he needed to be good about all this. No hanky-panky in the water with the wet pretty girl.
“Cool, cool, cool,” he said, his voice vibrating with excitement. He’d still get to touch wet and pretty Kareena, even though he’d behave. She trusted him. That in itself held more weight than getting action from her.
He pulled off his Dawn Patrol , Zuma Beach, Malibu T-shirt but left his shorts on. He heard a distinctive sigh from her, though she tried covering it up with a cough.
“Ok, don’t be gross,” he said. “This is strictly a swim lesson.”
“Oh my God, you didn’t just say that.” She threw her skirt at him and stood in just her purple tank top.
“Ok. But after this, I get a drag of your cigarette,” she reminded him.
He shook his head. “I don’t want to be a bad influence on you. Smoking can be a gateway drug.”
She snorted, not even trying to hide it from him, though her amma always said she sounded like an animal when she did it. He didn’t seem to mind, only grinned.
“Right. A gateway drug.” She rolled her eyes. “I’m not stepping one foot in there unless we shake on it.”
He stood there, considering this. She kept her eyes glued to his; refusing to let them waver below his navel, which was way harder than she thought.
He rubbed his chin. Did he think she was playing? Being with him had opened a whole new world for her. She wanted to experience new thrills before college, and she wanted to do so with him.
He pushed his hair back from his forehead in that hot way he always did when he was thinking.
“Fine.” He stuck out his large hand, and she grasped at his long fingers. They shook.
Then he drew her to him, rubbing his hands tenderly along her back. “You ready?”
He was being so gentle. She marveled at how different he was from the other boys in her class.
“No.” She sighed, looking up at him, her hands pressed into his chest. “But I’m ready for you to kiss me.”
He chuckled deeply, and she felt the vibrations run up his torso. “Are you now?”
“I am. And I’m ready to be with you, like, for real, if that’s what you want.”
“Karma,” he whispered, his head descending to hers. She watched him come closer, his lashes fluttering, finally closing over his warm eyes. “Yeah, I want that so much.”
Her heart careened around in her chest, finally settling as his warm lips brushed her gently, softly; his chin stubbly on her cheek.
He tasted smoky and earthy, and she leaned into it, reaching up on her tippy toes.
He was hers, at least for now. She wasn’t about to let her parents decide this for her.
He was unplanned, yes, but sometimes things didn’t go according to plan, and for once, she was more than ok with it.
THE END