Chapter Twenty-Two
Amanda set the shell down on the table between them. “No. If you found it, you were supposed to. The right people find the right message at the right time.”
She picked the shell back up and turned it over. “?‘Life takes you to unexpected places. Trust the light to lead you home.’ It could mean a lot of different things.” Amanda pulled her feet up onto the chair. “The day I found my first shell, I’d been clinging to my memories of Jack. I was hurting so badly and it had been two years. I’d moved here for a fresh start, but still I had his old shirt hanging on the back of my dressing table chair.” Her voice softened, her lashes lowering. Her hand gracefully re-created the back of the chair in the air. “I’d run my hand across that shirt so many times in a day. I couldn’t let go. I couldn’t move on. I was sad, and my heart felt like it weighed a ton in my chest. Every day was hard. Finding that shell and reading that quote opened my mind. I sort of pivoted for the first time.”
“You told me about it. The Havelock Ellis quote. What was it?”
“?‘All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.’?”
“It aligned with your struggle,” Rosemary whispered.
“It did, but I wasn’t familiar with Havelock or the quote, and I also wasn’t sure what things I needed to hang on to or let go of. I mean, in hindsight, yeah, it was clear as a bell, but when you’re in the middle of that stormy situation, it’s messy.”
Rosemary placed her teacup on the tray and took a deep breath. “You are wise beyond your years, Amanda.”
“We’ve been through a lot, me and the kids. But we’re wise from those battles, and I think we’re finally stronger.”
“I’ve been feeling lost,” Rosemary said. “When I left Hawaii, after selling the farm, and moved in with Nina…it all seemed great on paper, but I don’t feel at home there.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t feel at home in Hawaii once Kai was gone, so I don’t know. I thought maybe it was because I was older, but some of the things you’re saying are what I’ve been feeling.”
“I don’t think it matters how old you are. Love is love. If you’re fully invested, when something separates that person from you, it results in a fracture. It’ll mend, but it’ll always be there.”
“The loneliness follows you no matter where you go. Just like when you moved here to Whelk’s Island,” Rosemary said.
“Yes. Seems so.”
“I don’t want to sound ungrateful. My daughter has really gone to a lot of effort to make me comfortable, but she’s managing me like another child.”
“Yeah, I guess she’s in mother mode. Sometimes that is hard to switch off. I can get a little bossy with Paul and Tug sometimes like that. Of course, they call me out on it.”
“Well, we butt heads on it, but it isn’t polite. I’d had my trip here planned for a while, and a day before I was going to leave to visit Kathleen, she actually forbid me to travel because of the storm, which was not even a storm yet.”
“In all fairness, there was an evacuation going on,” Amanda said, “but you are a grown woman. You can make those decisions, and you are fine. Everything happens for a reason, and we don’t always know why we are being pulled in one direction or another. Think about that shell. If you hadn’t made this trip, you never would have found it.”
“True,” Rosemary said.
“You came here. Life brought you to this unexpected place.”
“It did, and now what?”
“Trust the light to lead you home.”
“What’s the light?” Rosemary asked, knowing Amanda couldn’t really answer that. “Is it the sun? A place? A feeling?”
“Love?” Amanda shook her head. “I think only you can know how it fits into your future.”
“I loved Kai so much.”
“I never thought I could love again. I felt like what Jack and I had was the perfect love that nothing could ever compare to, but sometimes you have to live with the plan that has been designed for you. I put my trust in that, and I’m so thankful I did, because Paul is a perfect love too. Different from what I had with Jack, but just as special and perfect. I can’t even explain how unreal it seems.” Amanda paused. “Rosemary, don’t be afraid. Trust what you’re feeling. The questions in those moments that feel uncomfortable and wrong mean something, but so do the ones that feel right. We are meant to be joyful. I believe that.”
Rosemary wiped a tear from her cheek, blinking back others. “You are so young to be so wise,” she said, her voice soft with emotion.
“Not really. I’m echoing things Maeve helped me realize during those dark days following losing Jack. Probably not nearly as eloquently as she did, though.” Amanda let out a hesitant giggle, but the warmth and admiration she felt for Maeve was clear.
“Maybe this shell and the light are like a lighthouse, guiding me,” Rosemary said.
“A lighthouse is a beacon for guidance. That makes sense.”
“And God’s love is a guiding light.” Rosemary sat quietly. “It could be about our friendship or the peace I feel when I’m on the beach here.”
“I know that feeling,” Amanda said. “I really started feeling safe and grounded when I came to Whelk’s Island. But it could also mean romantic love. Maybe there’s a Paul out there for you.”
“No. I’m not looking for anything like that. Light is peace, hope.” All of a sudden, Rosemary started laughing. Amanda must be wondering what was going through her mind. She could barely catch her breath.
“What?” Amanda looked completely confused. “What is so funny? Did I say something wrong?”
“No! No. I’m sorry. It just hit me. The light—it could be a train coming at me through a tunnel.”
“Okay, not that! It is not something bad. It’s good.” Amanda slapped Rosemary’s hand playfully. “You are crazy.”
“Oh gosh, but I haven’t laughed like that in…” She looked at her dear new friend. “Not in so, so, so long. Thank you for being my friend.” She wasn’t much closer to the meaning behind the shell or what the heck she should do, but she felt better.
“You don’t think this was one of the shells in the diner?” Rosemary finally asked.
“No. Definitely not. I’ve never seen that shell.”
Rosemary hadn’t seen anything similar in the newspaper articles either. “I wondered, when I found it, if the whole thing was just tourist hype being perpetuated by the locals for business, but this seems very random.”
“I promise you it is not hype. No one who has found one knows who or where they came from. And the messages are so poignant to the people that find them. It’s very special.”
Rosemary picked up the shell, turning it over in her hand. “How did it find me here?”
“I guess you were meant to be here.”
“I guess so, but it hasn’t been what I expected at all. This place is wonderful. I love the town, but I thought this visit with a high school friend was going to be a relaxing walk down memory lane. I realized when I got here that she is the same person she was in high school, but I’m very different from who I was back then, so the visit itself—not a home run.”
“Oh. Sorry.”
“No, don’t be. She ended up going out of town with friends, so I’ve been at her house cat sitting. It all worked out, but when she returns, I guess I’ll be going back, ready or not.”
“You know you are welcome to stay here for a few days if you like,” Amanda said. “We’d love to have you.”
“No. Thank you. I can afford to rent a place if I wanted to stick around. But thank you. That is so sweet of you. I hadn’t even considered that as an option. I feel like I need to find my place. Some of my best friends have passed, others…I have no idea where they are. I just need a start.”
“I think you’ve made one. You just haven’t realized it yet.”
“Maybe I have. I need some friends.”
“Um, you are quite easy to be friends with. I don’t think you needed to leave Pennsylvania and drive all the way down here for that. You probably could’ve made friends right where you were.”
Rosemary opened her mouth and then shut it. “I could have. Yes. So why did I drive how many hours with a storm in the forecast and worry my daughter? I was determined to get here.”
“There was a purpose. Only you can figure that one out.”
“Wow, what do I owe you for the therapy session?” Rosemary asked.
“I’d say it’s about time for those Drumstick ice cream cones!” Amanda got up. “Come on.”
They ripped into the ice cream with just as much excitement as Hailey and Jesse had, then relaxed in the chairs on the deck, watching the waves. They sat there, savoring each other’s presence. No need for conversation.
Finally, Rosemary rocked forward in her chair. “Amanda, this has been truly a delightful day. I hope we can do this again before I leave.”
“I’m counting on it. And I need some notice before you head out of town. I’m going to miss you. I think you really should think about staying. I can be like another daughter.”
“Any mother would be lucky to call you hers.”
“Can I get you to write my mom a note that says that? I think maybe she and Nina would get along better than she and I do.”
They hugged, and Amanda called the kids down to say goodbye to Rosemary before she left.
Rosemary pulled away from Amanda’s beach house, hopeful and feeling like she’d rolled back time. It was nice being around all that energy and positivity.
She was driving down the beach road, lost in her thoughts, when she spotted the minivan with the Paws logo painted on it near the little bar called The Tackle Box.
Rosemary parked next to the minivan and got out. There was a possibility it wasn’t Tug at all. A few of these branded vans had been over at Paws, but it couldn’t hurt to just see if he was around.
The slurry of sandy water and seaweed had left a line on the wall about her height and ran the whole length of the back side of the building.
“Wow.” She stepped carefully around the debris into the paths that someone had swept clear. New landscape timbers created a path to the bar. It wasn’t much bigger than a travel trailer—and not a big one at that. It reminded her of the ocean-side kiosks where vendors sold their wares on the island. Nina had worked in one of those for several summers, handing out snorkels, fins, and masks to visitors wanting to explore the reef, before she left for MIT to use that full-ride scholarship she’d earned. Nina was smart, and Rosemary loved how strong she was. A little bit of distance was helping her see things more positively, or at least try to.
When Rosemary rounded the corner, she saw that an entire wall was missing from the one-story building. There wasn’t much more than a counter left. And yet a young tan man with hair that had been kissed by the sun and tousled as if maybe Edwina had blown him around a bit stood behind the bar drying glasses.
He had to be a surfer. He had that look.
The man gave her a Hollywood smile and set down the glass that he’d been drying. “Welcome to The Tackle Box, although it’s more like a bait bucket right now.”
“Thank you.” She glanced toward the other end of the bar. There Tug sat upon a stool, slumped forward, hands cradling a glass. She turned back to the young man. “Are you the owner?”
“I am.”
“I’m proud of you for pulling this together and reopening so quickly. It must be overwhelming to try to put things back together.”
“Can’t stop working. The bills come in no matter what. People need this place.” He extended his hand across the counter. “My friends call me Fisher.”
“Nice to meet you. I’m Rosemary.” She glanced over at Tug, who seemed to be in his own little world. “Has my friend been here long?”
“All day.”
Two huge fans blew across the space, in an attempt to dry out the place, she suspected.
She mouthed “Excuse me” and walked over, then paused before placing her hand on Tug’s back. “Hello, my friend,” she said softly.
He turned his head. “Hello! What are you doing here?”
“Might ask you the same thing, but I’d guess that it’s a colorful place that feels in need of a customer.”
“Or two?” He eyed the stool next to him.
“Don’t mind if I do,” Rosemary said.
Fisher walked over. “What can I get you, Rosemary? On the house.”
She looked at Tug and at the glass in front of him. “I’ll have what he’s having.”
Fisher tossed his hair back. “Of course you will.”
He walked away. Rosemary caught the movement at the other end of the bar—Fisher lifting a glass, adding ice, shaking, and pouring—but her eyes were on Tug. She resisted the urge to speak. Being here was enough, something told her.
Fisher slid a glass in front of her. “Here’s to making waves in your glass and memories by the shore!”
“Poetic.” Rosemary lifted the glass to her lips, hoping it wasn’t so potent she’d choke and spew it across the bar like a fountain. Poor Fisher had enough to clean up. She took a teensy swallow and braced herself, but there was nothing warm or powerful about the concoction.
She took another sip.
Tug and Fisher exchanged a knowing glance.
“Is this what he’s having?” she asked.
“Homemade cherry limeade,” Fisher said proudly. “Half my chairs and inventory are floating somewhere around the Bermuda Triangle, I suspect, but I still know what my best customers drink. Lost my stuff, not my mind.”
“I see.”
“Not all of my customers come here for the libations. Bars aren’t just for drinking, ma’am. They are for fellowship, sharing, a place to belong. You like the homemade cherry limeade?”
“It’s perfect!” She lifted her glass toward him and then tapped hers to Tug’s. “And here I thought you were wallowing in grief and too drunk to drive home. I’m not rescuing you at all.”