Chapter 6
“Clara! Wake up! What has gotten into? You must never fall asleep while socializing with others.”
I opened my eyes with a jerk and sat up straight. “Pardon me.”
Aunt Maude clicked her tongue with disappointment as she shook her head and glanced at the two ladies sitting with us in the parlor.
My cheeks warmed under her displeasure as I lifted my cards for the game of whist we were playing with Mrs. Walker and Gallagher.
For two and a half weeks, I had been working day and night on my lessons.
On evenings like this one, when Aunt Maude needed extra people, she called Mrs. Walker and Gallagher to join us.
They had come into the parlor after Aunt Maude and I had finished supper and looked almost as uncomfortable as I felt.
“It’s your turn,” Aunt Maude said to me. She was sitting across the table, holding her cards. Candlelight flickered from the holders on the corners of the table, sparkling off her jewelry.
I tried to focus on my cards, but my eyes were so bleary, I could hardly tell the spades from the clubs—and I didn’t care. All I wanted was my bed.
Knowing Aunt Maude, she still had hours of work ahead of me.
I laid a high diamond, and she lowered her cards, more disappointment in her gaze. “You’ve just lost the trick for us,” she said.
Mrs. Walker picked up the four cards and laid them on her ever-growing pile of tricks.
“I’m sorry.” I tried hard to speak as she’d instructed me. “I’m so tired.”
Aunt Maude set the rest of her cards on the table and nodded. “Perhaps we should be done for tonight.”
My shoulders sagged in relief, and I wanted to cry with happiness. I had not gone to bed before midnight since arriving at the mansion and was expected to rise each morning at six.
“Mrs. Walker and Gallagher, you may go.” Aunt Maude rose from the table as the ladies stood and bobbed a curtsey before leaving the room.
I also stood, but as I moved toward the door, Aunt Maude stopped me.
“We’re not finished, Clara,” she said. “Come join me on the sofa.”
My feet ached from standing in uncomfortable shoes, my back was sore from wearing such tight corsets, and my head throbbed from the incessant lessons. Night and day, Aunt Maude had pushed me beyond comprehension.
I pulled myself over to her and lowered onto the sofa as she’d instructed—perched on the edge, my back straight, my chin up, and my hands folded in my lap—trying not to let my misery show.
“Have you finished The Scarlet Letter?” she asked me. “I thought we could practice your diction through discussing the book tonight.”
In my spare time, when she was attending social events and wasn’t offering lessons in dancing, walking, eating, singing, embroidering, history, social etiquette, or diction, she required that I read. I had finished The Scarlet Letter, but at the moment, I couldn’t remember a single word I had read.
I stared at her as she looked at me.
“You haven’t finished it?”
“I have.” I finally crumpled as I bent forward and placed my face in my hands, letting the tears fall. “I’m just so tired.”
She didn’t speak for a moment, but then she finally said. “Pull yourself together, Clara. The life of a duchess will be far more grueling than this. One must never yield to the weight of her difficulties.”
The clock struck ten and I forced myself to sit up straight. I should be used to hard work, after all. I used to sit with a needle and thread in hand for twelve hours a day most of my life. But this was different. It required mental and emotional energy, as well.
“You remind me of Alec,” she said.
At the sound of his name, I rallied. Alec had been gone for almost two weeks, on business in Newport, I’d been told.
I wasn’t sure when he’d return, but the house was not the same without him.
We’d only had a few days together before he’d left suddenly, without saying goodbye.
One morning he was there, showing me the gardens—and that evening, Aunt Maude told me he had left the city.
“How do I remind you of him?” I asked, speaking carefully—slowly.
“He was just as overwhelmed as you at the beginning. Just as exhausted as he learned what was expected of him. But he adapted, and you will, too.” She touched the pearl-drop earrings at my ears, and a smile tilted her lips.
“I know I am asking a lot of you, but it’s because I want this endeavor to succeed—for you, just as much as for Alec and me.
You have a lifetime of education to learn in just seven months, and I cannot ease up, even just a little. ”
I wanted to hear more about Alec, but I didn’t dare ask. Surely being raised by a minister and the daughter of a wealthy merchant, he should have already possessed the necessary skills to function in society.
The parlor door creaked open, and we both looked up.
As if being summoned by our conversation, Alec appeared.
My heart sped at the sight of him. The waves of his curly brown hair, the sparkle in his bright blue eyes, the way he carried himself with both ease and confidence.
I stood with Aunt Maude, conscious of my gown, my hair, my earrings—and the tremble in my hands.
“Alec,” Aunt Maude said. “I wasn’t expecting you back so soon.”
Two weeks was soon? I had waited, every day, wondering if this was the day he’d return.
“I was called back to the city,” he said to Aunt Maude as he crossed the room and took her hand before placing a kiss on her cheek. “I hope I’m not interrupting.”
“Of course not,” she said.
He pulled away from Aunt Maude and turned to me. Had he been my real cousin, perhaps he would have taken my hand and given me a kiss without hesitation.
The very thought made my cheeks burn.
“Hello, Clara,” he said and extended his hand.
I rested my hand in his. Would he kiss me as he’d kissed Aunt Maude?
He lifted my hand to his lips and placed a kiss there. “You look lovely this evening.”
I was speechless as I took my hand back and laid my other one over the spot he had kissed.
“Clara?” Aunt Maude lifted her eyebrows. “We’ve practiced this.”
I blinked a couple of times and swallowed the nerves. Of course. This was part of my education. His compliments were part of the curriculum. “Aye—yes. Thank you, Alec.” I blundered through my words, trying not to blush even more.
“I see you haven’t been practicing the art of flirting while I’ve been away,” he said, a twinkle in his eyes.
Something inside me responded to that twinkle and I returned his smile. “And who would I flirt with? Higgins?”
“That I would like to see.” He laughed at the thought of the stodgy, serious butler engaged in a flirtatious conversation and I joined him. Poor Higgins.
Aunt Maude let out a sigh, and I knew she didn’t approve of our teasing.
Alec sobered and said, “Your accent is changing.” There was something wistful in his voice.
“I should say it is.” Aunt Maude returned to the sofa. “We’ve been working around the clock to fix her elocution. It’s probably the hardest thing I’ve done while you’ve been away.”
I remained near Alec and tried to smile, though it was hard, thinking about the long hours of work we had done. The countless times I’d been corrected, feeling ashamed, embarrassed, and uneducated.
“You’re tired,” he said, concern softening his eyes. “Are you getting any sleep?”
He was the first person who had inquired after my wellbeing since he’d left.
I opened my mouth to respond, but Aunt Maude interrupted.
“Now that you’re here,” she addressed Alec, “I could use a break this evening. I was going to converse with Clara about Nathaniel Hawthorne’s novel, but she’s in desperate need of dancing practice.
An instructor has been here every day this week, but she must put the lessons to use.
I would like for you to practice in the front parlor.
Peter is an excellent pianist. I’ll have him summoned to play for you. ”
Dance? My feet and back ached at the thought of dancing. And with Alec? I would stumble through each step, I was certain. Embarrassment warmed my cheeks just thinking about it. I wanted to protest, but that had earned me nothing but a stern lecture in the past.
“What Clara needs is rest,” Alec said to his aunt. “It’s past ten o’clock. She should be in bed.”
“Nonsense. The night is still young. When she’s attending balls, she’ll be up until two or three in the morning. She must get used to long evenings once we introduce her to society.”
“Most debutantes sleep until noon so they can stay up that late. I doubt you’ve allowed her to sleep past six.” There was an edge to his voice.
“Do not question my methods, Alec.” Her edge matched his. “Clara is my daughter and my responsibility. Her success or failure is at stake, and I will do whatever is necessary to ensure she succeeds. You, of all people, should understand.”
I looked between them as they stared at one another.
“Clara,” Maude said, “please give Alec and me a moment alone.”
Nodding, I left the parlor and closed the door behind me, relieved to step away from the tension that had coiled around the three of us. Were the two of them always at odds with one another? Why didn’t Alec leave the mansion and strike out on his own?
I stood in the massive hallway, unsure if I should go up to my room or wait there for Aunt Maude to summon me.
“I cannot help you,” I heard Alec say, his voice muffled, but still easy to hear.
My breath caught. I didn’t want to eavesdrop, but I wasn’t sure where to go.
“You cannot—or you do not want to?”
There was a moment of silence before Alec said, “I do not want to help.”
“Is that why you ran away to Newport?”
Again. Silence.
“I do not understand your aversion to Clara,” Aunt Maude continued. “But you must put it behind you. We cannot fail. I know it and you know it.”
Alec had an aversion to me? He’d run away to Newport to avoid me. The truth stung and I took a step away from the door.